blonde poker

 

Things are going rather well in the salubrious surroundings of the Grosvenor Luton. The current running total since the beginning of June is 25 final tables out of 33 tournaments. Of these 25 finals I’ve hit the top three about half the time, and consequently 2006’s 'Live Poker' spreadsheet is looking very healthy.

I was thinking of writing a blog entry that went through a typical small rebuy tournament in a place like Luton and mention all of the pitfalls I see people fall into and how one can profit from them, but frankly that is giving a few too many trade secrets away. So instead I thought I would tell you about my little black book.

Now twenty years ago I might have had a different type of little black book. These days I might have developed poker instinct, but trying to put that into practice in 'normal' life? Forget about it! A few weeks ago my table draw put me on the same table as a lady who was, frankly, rather attractive. In typical alpha male fashion I spent the first few levels preening my peacock feathers and flirting away merrily. As fate would have it, we both reached the final and the table draw there put us in seats 5 and 6. I thought things were looking up. No sign of a wedding ring and, to be honest, the final table was not exactly uppermost in my thoughts. The vital time came when she became short-stacked and I turned to her and smiled and said jokingly “don’t worry, I’ll double you up if I can take you out to dinner”. As her eyelids batted and my heart began to flutter I felt a little tap on my shoulder. I looked round. A smart silver haired gentleman with a perma-tan said to me:

“You can forget about that, she has been my wife for the last eight years and she is not available”

I heard Seat 7 begin to snigger. The object of my affections in Seat 5 had the good grace to blush and look embarrassed. Dena the dealer looked at me with undisguised glee.

So, back to my little black book. It is a book of tells of players I regularly play against. Now I’ve read Caro and various articles and book chapters on tells but there is enough material amongst Luton’s regulars to let Caro write a sequel. When I notice something, I mentally log it and return home and write it down under the player’s name in my book and refer to it to keep my observations fresh in my mind a couple of times a week. It doesn’t apply to everyone. Some even do 'reverse' tells, but most don’t. I feel such a level of preparation is a factor behind my successes in these games.

So here is my top ten (no names mentioned) on Luton poker tells

•   Sunglasses - One player always wears dark sunglasses. When the flop comes down he always lifts the glasses up and re-peeks at his hole cards if he is on a flush draw. A 100% reliable tell. What’s more, the whole club knows it. By all means wear sunglasses, but make sure you can tell the difference between spades and clubs whilst wearing them!

•   The Chip Thrower - Quite a common one this. If the player literally throws his chips at you, as his opponent in a hand, he is telling you “go away, I want you out of this hand”. If the same player puts his chips into the middle carefully he is saying “I am proud of my hand”. Try (if heads up) to re-raise the aggressive chip thrower. Fold quickly to the careful chip placer unless holding a monster.

 

•   Changes in tonality when announcing raise - One player has two different ways of announcing a raise. If he says “I’m gonna raise” with a long raaaiiiisssseeeee… it’s a steal. If he says “Raise” in short staccato confident tones its him saying ”Yes! I have a premium hand”

 
•   Squeeze -  This player looks carefully at his first card, the whole card not just the corner of it. If it’s a good card he takes an age to squeeze his second hole card. So lets guess if the first card is an Ace he’ll squeeze the life out of the second card. If there is no squeeze on the second card, the first wasn’t an Ace or a Picture.

 

•   Hold your breath! - This player is quite tight and timid.  If she makes a bet with a marginal hand, watch carefully. She holds her breath. If it is a 'nut' type hand the breathing is steady and measured. Quite often when facing a bet from this lady I amuse myself by dwelling on my response while she holds her breath. Immediately afterwards, whatever the result, she retires to the rail to take long drags on her menthol cigarette.

 

•    'Who are you looking at?' - This is really an extension of the chip throwing tell. It’s a variant of the 'strong is weak and weak is strong' Caro mantra, but a bundle of players still do it. Hit a monster and look away. Attempt a bluff/semi-bluff and stare you down.

 

•   “I’m going to bet” - You reach the flop and are first to act, you have partially connected and are wondering how to proceed. Helpfully your opponent is busy looking at his chips mentally deciding how much to bet. You check and save yourself a few chips from a possibly wasted feeler bet and then assess any other tells and the odds you are offered whilst considering how to respond. By trial and error I discovered that if one particular player is looking at his chips he will always raise any post flop bet you might make.

 

•   'The RADA wannabe' - The guy hits the flop big, yet forces a sigh, mumbles a curse word (that's meant to be heard), or some other ridiculously poor acting job, and then goes to bet on the flop. To Mike Caro's point, acting is an important factor in tells. The fake sigh, or faking disappointment, demonstrates that the opponent wants you to think he is weak, so when they bet, they want you to bite. So, act opposite to what they want if you don't have the cards to win, and fold.

 

•   'Funny Guy' - Quite a character this man, always chirping, only shuts up when he is bluffing. That’s helpful. Also helpful is the little “impromptu” one liner that accompanies every bet he makes when holding the goods. “Marvellous” I think, and fold.

 

•   'Food glorious Food' - I’ve never really discovered  a 'Rounders' like tell that someone eats their biscuits in a particular way when he has a strong hand but I always inwardly rejoice when this particular player on my table has food delivered. No marginal hand is going to get in the way of certain poker players and their food. One otherwise successful player of a certain size completely changes his behaviour when his food arrives. He’ll look at his cards as soon as they are dealt. If it is a 'fold' hand he’ll immediately go back to eating. If not, normal behaviour resumes. If this player is in the Big blind and he is eating, steal away then!

In the last two nights I had a couple of interesting hands against the same player, which may help demonstrate utilising poker tells during a game.

First hand (Tuesday): My opponent was to my left. I'm in middle position. Blinds are 100-200, I think maybe there's one caller before it got to me, I raise the bet to 1000 on my JJ-. Opponent to my left calls, everyone else folds.

Flop comes Q-7-2 rainbow. I bet 1500, my opponent raises me all-in to 5200.

So, I'm looking at him, he's quiet, staring at the cards. This, in itself, doesn't mean much. I start asking him questions about why he wants one of us to go broke... no answer... I know that he's been drinking a lot. I asked him if that was his empty beer next to him... he answered that one.

Then I start staring at the pot, counting out my chips, I notice from the corner of my eye that he squirms a tiny bit and takes a slightly deeper breath (not acting). I interpret these signs to mean that he is uncomfortable with my consideration of calling his bet. This poker tell is the final piece of information that swayed me to make my decision.

I call his bet, he flips over 5-5, I win the pot.

Now, this is where it gets interesting. Wednesday night. Same opponent to my left, I'm the big blind, he opens raising the bet to 600. One caller (I think), then it's on me, I have the same hand J-J. I raise the bet to 1500. Opponent goes all-in, raises over 5000. Everyone else folds. It's my decision again, basically same scenario but pre-flop.

But this time, my opponent's acting differently. He's more vocal, more natural and confident (not acting, in my opinion)... I take my time, he doesn't fidget. I show my cards, J-J, and fold. He flips over Q-Q.

So, in general terms, strong may be weak, weak may be strong (and are they acting?), but really you want to notice a change in a particular player's actions. In this case, strong was strong, but the important factor was being able to see the first hand played out and tie his actions to a weak hand. Now, I knew his actions were different, and his hand was different. Against an unknown player I might have followed the 'strong is weak, weak is strong' philosophy but here knowledge of playing this man regularly helped me establish that with him, strong means strong.

Helped by this type of observation, and my current run, festivals can take a back seat because why play tournaments where I have no edge as opposed to regularly making the money against players I know well?