Okay society you win- Diary of a fat boy

[Claw75]

It was great to see you last night Phil.  I have to say despite reading that you had lost so much weight, I was still amazed at the really noticible difference in such a short space of time.  What surprised me even more was how fantastically healthy you looked.  I suppose I kind of expected with not eating and the quick weight loss that you would look somehow ill and haggard but the opposite is true - I have never seen you looking so well. 

I'm so proud of you!  Keep up the good work, but make sure you leave a teensy bit of padding there for hugs xxx

[Snatiramas]

Okay I have tried scanning the image so you can share the thrill of seeing my name in the matchday programme........and let's be honest it was the only way I was going to appear. I failed. Anyway what I wrote was as follows

My  Club
As I approach my fortieth year, I find myself reflecting more and more on the pleasure it has been to be a supporter of the Tigers for the past thirty years.
From   my   earliest   memories   in   the seventies of calling Fylde, Flyde or of helping change the score on the old scoreboard at the Welford Road end. Through the times when my father would shout out "you are rubbish Matthews" a player to go   on   and   make   more appearances for the Tigers than any other. Sitting in the Crumbie stand with my  backside  on  one seat  leaning with  my back on the one behind and my feet on the one in front.

Then the magic of the cup years getting drunk on the school trips to Twickenham, the move where Cusworth placed the ball on the floor for the man on the Scissors to pick up and more recently the European matches, which truly capture what rugby supporting, is about for me.

These trips offer the opportunity to immerse yourself in a different culture, to   be  in the minority of Supporters  and yet still believe that the Tigers will prevail. Yes there will be disappointments along the way such as being stuck in Llanelli after losing the group match last year but the highs are so high that they more than make up for it. Standing at the Parc des Princes crying with joy after we beat Stade Francais and to see all those miserable Frenchmen trying to take a gut wrenching loss gracefully. Classic.

And so to this weekend as I sit at my desk unable to do my work for thinking about the trip to Beziers, going selfishly on my own with no wife and no kids, going into the unknown hoping the team play well but knowing the wine will be good as will the food as will the company. At worst we will lose the game and I will suffer a   huge hangover at  best yet another memory to file with all the classic moments of supporting the Tigers over the last thirty years.

My club over the past 30 years have gone from not very good to exceptional and in the last five years have played at a level that I could only dream of when we  were getting our ritual stuffing by Coventry. I'd just like to say thank you.

By Phil Cooklin aged 39 and 3/4

If you would like to write My Club for
one of our forthcoming programmes
email fans@tigers.co.uk or write
to My Club, Leicester Tigers, Aylestone Road, Leicester. LEz ?TR


Wow in the matchday programme verbatim. I knew I had created something that people liked. Well my Mum and Dad anyway so I vowed I would use this special gift and create something to read. It's only taken another six years but for some reason the course has made want to write stuff down and for some reason some of you want to read it.

Now on the professional front I have to be a little bit careful as for the last fifteen years I have been selling into the countries major electrical retailers. If I start writing about them I may be out of a job and seeing as the book hasn't been published yet, actually it has been written, that may not be wise.....I may be able to find something though.

[Snatiramas]

It was great to see you last night Phil.  I have to say despite reading that you had lost so much weight, I was still amazed at the really noticible difference in such a short space of time.  What surprised me even more was how fantastically healthy you looked.  I suppose I kind of expected with not eating and the quick weight loss that you would look somehow ill and haggard but the opposite is true - I have never seen you looking so well. 

I'm so proud of you!  Keep up the good work, but make sure you leave a teensy bit of padding there for hugs xxx

It was lovely seeing you Ding Richard and Nina and others........I do feel quite well. The Wii definitely helps as did your lovely post......My word that Matt's a lucky boy or monkey or something.

[byronkincaid]

i have some interest in health and fitness but this makes me want to go out and eat a few big macs

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/06/13/world/asia/13fat.html?_r=1&oref=slogin

[gatso]

i have some interest in health and fitness but this makes me want to go out and eat a few big macs

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/06/13/world/asia/13fat.html?_r=1&oref=slogin

33.5 inches? unreal, they are barmy

[Snatiramas]

i have some interest in health and fitness but this makes me want to go out and eat a few big macs

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/06/13/world/asia/13fat.html?_r=1&oref=slogin

33.5 inches? unreal, they are barmy

Very very scary....one thing to do it cos you want to. Quite another because you have to.

[gatso]

sumo wrestling will never be the same again

[Snatiramas]

 http://uk.news.yahoo.com/itn/20080625/tuk-nhs-approval-for-weight-loss-drug-dba1618.html


So it is open season on photos of lardy arses again. Can't say I neccessarily agree with the use of drugs but it is a particularly sensitive area. Not all people can face up to their situation and want to change it. Long term success IMHO would suggest this is vital and drugs will just mask the patterns that cause the eating disorder.............In the meantime there does seem to be an adhoc competition going on as to which news media can show the largest bottom. The BBC were winning last I looked. Funny this is a story to develop skinny people and not a skinny person in sight. Face up to it skinny people you just aint news

[Snatiramas]

Of course the best years of your life are those spent at school. Hang on just a moment the best years of your life are spent at school doing what? Homework, I think not. Cross country I think you must be having a laugh. Latin…….ooh Latin. Or French.

Okay so it must be the environment that is good. You know all chaps together. Learn together, eat together go to detention together, become bullies or victims together. The problem is that as time passes, as with every painful or happy event in life, the pain or joy softens, you don’t forget what happened but somehow it is not as deep a wound as it once was or in fact as great a pleasure. So it is with school.

Mayflower junior school which I attended from the age of seven to eleven was a small lovely primary school. We had lots of laughs, all lived in the area and these days truly were special if you can ignore the fact that I was called a yid for the first time. As you know the character involved was summarily dealt with. I arrived as a little seven year old boy but I had two big sisters in the school already one two years older than me and the other three. Which meant she was in what we now call year six. My sisters are fab. I have three in total and we always look after each other regardless. So my progress through school is serene. I am a top 5 student. Always come second to Michelle Duff at speech day, Michelle being one of those girls that I could not have beaten even if I had wanted to on account of her being every teachers pet and damn gorgeous to boot.

The two major things that happened at Mayflower though were these.
Firstly I realised I was rubbish at sport. Oh I tried hard mind you but not in my wildest dreams could I beat a man playing football like Tinker could. He was one of my best mates at school and lived three doors down from me on Roundhill Road. In the hundred metres I came three from last and hear me now, I was flat out. The problem was I really wanted to play for the school football team. So I decided I needed a special talent. In 1973 Norman Hunter played for Leeds 43 times and didn’t score a goal. In fact he played 540 games for Leeds and only scored 18 goals. I had at this time no real football affiliation. Rugby was my game even then. Now Norman Hunter had a special talent and even then as a ten year old boy I could see it. When he tackled somebody they remained tackled, totally and utterly. He frequently got there late so I would have no problem with that part of the plan on account of my supreme athletic ability. In fact it was a nailed on certainty that I was going to get there late. The big question was when I got there was I tough enough to actually go clattering in. Oh well only one way to find out.

So morning playtime kick about. Jumpers for goalposts.  The score six, two to them. The bell goes for the end of break. The instant call of next goal wins goes up from all players. So just for the uninitiated this means that regardless of the score at the time whichever team scores the next goal will win the game. In fact the funniest thing I have ever seen or heard at a football match revolved around that phrase. West Ham versus Luton. The semi final of the Littlewoods cup first leg at Upton Park. West Ham have played absolutely brilliantly. They are losing  two nil at home to Luton. Two nil at home to Luton for petes sake. A corner a minute into injury time at the end of the match. A sudden lull in the noise level and out of nowhere some kid shouts out “next goal wins”. Everyone cracks up including the players.

Okay so the call goes up next goal wins and Tinker is running towards me. Bugger it he is my mate I can’t just hack him down on the playground but I’ve got to know. So in I slide taking Tinker, the ball, my trousers and most of the skin off my right knee and elbow. It took a while for the dust to settle and it took a good while longer before Tinks would speak to me again. It also hurt like buggery and I knew tears would not do. By a supreme effort and the use of lying with my face on my sleeve I managed to control myself before standing up. Tinks was shaken but just about okay. He had lost a bit of skin off the hands. Everybody else was just standing and watching. I got in the team and had to give up the descant recorder……Mrs. Fox the music teacher never forgave me.

Now it just so happened that we had a match against Linden. We hated Linden as they were our local rivals. Of course we didn’t actually know anybody who went to Linden but we hated them anyway. Oh and by the way they were better than us at football. So we managed by some miracle to draw two - two. We are walking across Evington park after the game. Tinker, me and a couple of others. Three Linden kids appear from round the side of the local toilets. You know even at this age you are aware that it is going to go off in an explosive ten year old way. We all start talking amongst ourselves how we are going to fight because there are four of us and only three of them. So I get ready to stand and fight which suits me because I cannot run anyway. When the two groups are about twenty yards apart they run towards us and to a man as I turned to stand and fight my mates all ran away. Hmm only superficial damage. You know bloody nose a few bruises, sports kit up a tree and that is going to need explaining to parents. After they tired of kicking me which probably wasn’t that long but felt like forever plus a bit, they left. This time I was crying. Not because of the bruises so much but because of the shock of my mates just running off. Tinks came back though and helped me get my stuff out of the tree. Good man that tinker. From this story I learned that you should not worry what other people say that they are going to do. Do what you need to do as a person.

The second major event was of course the eleven plus. The eleven plus was the old system of deciding where you went to school next. If you passed you had the choice of Wyggeston Boys Grammar School, City Boys, Alderman Newtons and one other that I just can’t recall. Dad and all of his brothers had gone to Wyggeston Boys. It was decided that I was going to Wyggeston Boys end of story. Hang on a sec don’t I have a say in this? Apparently not. Not only do I not have a say but it is not even a discussion topic. Would I have chosen Wyggeston if it had been my choice I do not know. Not to have a say in the matter bruised my little fragile ego a tad.

So we had months and months of practice tests. Well maybe a few weeks anyway but you know at ten it feels like months and months and everybody is telling us it does not matter what we get but we all know it does. We file in for the tests. The Maths test is a belter and I know I have done well. You see maths is easy to me as the answer is either right or wrong and I can just spot a wrong number. Well Dave Orton on my right can’t. Not his fault he just can’t. So all through the test I am writing the answers large on my rough sheet and moving to the side so he can see. Dave please stop being so obvious it just will not do to get caught. Somehow we both get through the exam undetected.

The day of the results is a bad one because some get what they want and some do not. For some of those that do not it is an anxious time working out where they will go next. For some it is absolutely too much as they burst into tears due to the pressure they have been under. Luckily my temperament is one that demands being so laid back as to be almost horizontal when it comes to exams. I pass and am off to Wyggeston along with some but not all of my mates. Dave is going but sadly not Tinker. We did however meet up again many years later due to us having girlfriends that were best mates………a small but funny world really.

So onto the weight loss. This week was fine but on Monday I suffered some sort of depression. Friday, Saturday and Sunday had gone fine. I ventured back up to the G on Sunday to play in the £100. Yeah yeah I know I promised not to but what could I do. I fancied a game and Luton is home venue. Played the tournament incredibly poorly and totally deserved what I got which was knocked out early. Not to worry though because the cash table beckoned. Normally I do not play cash but this table looked okay so I just pulled a small amount of cash and played. Seeing Sofe again was lovely and we just laughed our way through the evening and of course as is often the way with these things the more we laughed the more we won. Get to bed about 1.45am. Wake up Monday just feeling down. Can’t work out why. Feels like it is work related but it might have been because I played Sunday. Not sure need to analyse the whole experience in a couple of days.

Any way the Wii took another hammering this week but the weight measurement is going up and down. It does not matter as the only weigh in that matters is the one on Thursday. This week though has started the introduction of the doubting Thomas. So named because of Thomas theApostle, who doubted the ressurection of Jesus and demanded to feel Jesus' wounds before being convinced John 20:24 – 29. You know the crew. Well my mate lost four stone on lighter life but put it all back on. Now I really want to hear this. I mean I spent Sunday clearing out my wardrobe and even then I had kept some of the big sized clothes just in case. I am after all a realist about this whole jaunt. Now it would appear accordint to more than one source I was going to need them.

But will I? My biggest fear in all of this is not now but how to train myself to eat properly when I come off abstinence. I do not want to go back ever. My goal is not to get to a certain weight. My goal is to sort my head out so that I do not eat in the abnormal way that I used to. I still get the occassional craving but I expect that. People who set a weight or time goal I think are heading into trouble. They reach the weight and suddenly think they have achieved. I will only have achieved if I change my lifestyle on a permanent basis. Maybe this is a bigger challenge but I am absolutely convinced that down this path lay success.

And so to fat club. I am being soothed by the album Otis Blue this week. What a great album and many thanks for the reccomendation. Obviously I know a number of the songs but it is just nice to listen to them and some that I do not know. And then all of a sudden I change my mind. Each week has had music that seems to have some basis in anger……Hmm Green Day blasting out Jesus of Suburbia would seem to do……..and indeed it does.
Weight loss this week is a stonking five pounds and total weight loss is 37 pounds. I feel really well and in control of major bits of my life. At least right at this point I know that any emotion I am feeling is my own and not brought on by a change in insulin levels or food types. It helps when trying to work them all out.

Now I am aware that this post is a bit on the long side and I could do with some audience participation as to whether it is too long or not please. Next week I am afraid there is no weigh in on Thursday as I will be in Germany. I will post a few stories anyway just for good measure and we can move onto Wyggeston, rugby, beer, girls and Snotty Crabtree.

Until next week say something nice to your partner out of the blue just because you can.

[Dewi_cool]

my fav thread at mo. wp nh carry on snatty

[Claw75]

another great post Phil.  Too long?  Never!

[Tonji]

another great post Phil.  Too long?  Never!

  Keep it up Snatty 

[The_nun]

another great post Phil.  Too long?  Never!

  Keep it up Snatty 

xx

[Karabiner]

Another tremendous post Phil, your writing just flows. I can't wait for the next installment.

[AndrewT]

This thread is useless without pictures of Michelle Duff.