Today a woman accused me of being a paedophile

[The Camel]

I was in the bank this morning, queuing behind a couple and their two young daughters to use the self service banking machine.

I think the parents were withdrawing money to buy their younger daughter (about 10 years old) a present because she was visibly excited.

As the father was using the machine the daughter started to do a little dance.

It was very cute, and I smiled at her.

The mother looked at me horrified "What are you looking at my daughter for?"

"She's right in of me, I can hardly not look at her"

"Why are you smiling? Are you a paedophile?"

Is this really the society we want, where a man can not even smile at a young girl with being accused of being a paedo?

Jake has zero male teachers at his school.

At the other two schools we considered sending him I think there was one male teacher between them.

That's roughly 1 from 25.

I can only assume men are scared of learning to teach young children because they are worried about how society would perceive a man who chose to do this job.

I think it is incredibly sad.

[scotty77]

Media to blame.  Certain newspapers especially but whenever there are some tragic incidents then there is 24 hour rolling news that brainwashes people.

Made to think that on every street corner there's men waiting to harm and kidnap.

It is the culture we live in sadly.  One of pure irrational fear.

Saw something on FB recently about this and there was the old 'if you had kids, you'd understand' nonsense too just because I didn't agree that convicted paedophiles should be hung.

[The Camel]

Media to blame.  Certain newspapers especially but whenever there are some tragic incidents then there is 24 hour rolling news that brainwashes people.

Made to think that on every street corner there's men waiting to harm and kidnap.

It is the culture we live in sadly.  One of pure irrational fear.

Saw something on FB recently about this and there was the old 'if you had kids, you'd understand' nonsense too just because I didn't agree that convicted paedophiles should be hung.

If nothing else the daughters are going to grow up terrified that every stranger is out to harm them.

And then they have kids and it become self perpetuating.

[Tal]

That's a real shame, Camel.

My only point would be you don't know whether anything has happened in their lives previously that may have made the family overly cautious. A friend of mine is similarly twitchy, with one of his daughters having been the victim of an assault a few years ago.

We never know what makes someone act in an irrational way.

It must have been horrible for you to have something like that said to you.

[The Camel]

That's a real shame, Camel.

My only point would be you don't know whether anything has happened in their lives previously that may have made the family overly cautious. A friend of mine is similarly twitchy, with one of his daughters having been the victim of an assault a few years ago.

We never know what makes someone act in an irrational way.

It must have been horrible for you to have something like that said to you.

I didn't know what to say really.

That scenario did actually go through my mind - that they had been afflicted by something to make her so suspicious.

I was confused, hurt, upset and angry all at once.

So I did the very British thing and said and did nothing.

[Woodsey]

Sorry to hear about this Keith, this stuff totally winds me up, and not just this but the broader PC Bullshit that is fed out there. This is absolutely part of it. I mean this is not even funny it's so ridiculous.

This is why I always question liberal attitudes (yeah I know u don't like it) and I have no problem with some of it, but when you hear me go on about 'PC bullshit' this sort of stuff is absolutely the sort of irrelevant stuff that causes unnecessary problems.

[The Camel]

Sorry to hear about this Keith, this stuff totally winds me up, and not just this but the broader PC Bullshit that is fed out there. This is absolutely part of it. I mean this is not even funny it's so ridiculous.

This is why I always question liberal attitudes (yeah I know u don't like it) and I have no problem with some of it, but when you hear me go on about 'PC bullshit' this sort of stuff is absolutely the sort of irrelevant stuff that causes unnecessary problems.

Serious question.

If you were in my spot, what would you do?

[McGlashan]

Sorry to hear that Keith, this really sucks. The problem is you've done nothing wrong but the more you say, the more you defend yourself, the guiltier you sound.

There's nothing you can do or say that is going to change this persons mind, so the less you say the better.

[Marky147]

So infuriating, but like you say, what can you do?

Sounds like you handled the situation better than most would have, and although I'm quite a mellow person now, I'm not so sure that I could have just said nothing.

[millidonk]

I know exactly what you mean. When I pick my daughter up from nursery little kids will run up to me and shout dad and put their hands out for me to pick them up. I try not to look at any of the other kids, I certainly don't touch them or pick them up for fear of what might be said. There are about 14 workers there and none are men. Similarly when I am out with my little un women will stop us say awww how cute and tickle her etc yet if a man under 50 was to do that it would just feel wrong.

Defo think the media is to blame.

I would have simply said I "I'm sorry when your daughter looks at me would you rather I scowl and say don't fucking look at strangers.." Then tell her to stfu and get a grip.

[Doobs]

Sorry to hear about this Keith, this stuff totally winds me up, and not just this but the broader PC Bullshit that is fed out there. This is absolutely part of it. I mean this is not even funny it's so ridiculous.

This is why I always question liberal attitudes (yeah I know u don't like it) and I have no problem with some of it, but when you hear me go on about 'PC bullshit' this sort of stuff is absolutely the sort of irrelevant stuff that causes unnecessary problems.

You think what this woman said has anything to do with Political Correctness?  She is doing something that is near the  complete opposite.  You and this woman are just engaging in unjustified ranting.

I don't see why people are scared to look at other kids at nursery too.  Just speak to the other parents and kids, I don't have any issues and am often the only man in the room in a few places I take my daughters.  To be fair to Milli, I have become much more comfortable than I was when my first daughter was born and I first started out in these situations.  So I really don't think this is the culture we live in and this was anything other than a woman who is in the minority.

I don't think I have ever had anything close, but would hope I would just explain smile and explain the situation to her rationally.  If she carried on, if just walk away.   Most people would just conclude she is the nutter.

FWIW My eldest daughter had a male teacher last year and he was brilliant, and I don't know of any other parent who didn't think so. 

[Waz1892]

Im a chair of govs at our local school, and ive had this sort of thing happen in school.

Would be nice to have thoughts, as i lost the arguement.

We have male caretaker, who performed playground duties on a rota with the other teachers.  Walking around the playground, he often had year 5 or 6 kids (mostly girls, but the odd lad) walk with him holding hands. Ended up being an issue, as some parents but in an official complaint to him holding hands in the playground!

The head order that he stop, or be taken off the playground as a result, he said he'd stop, but asked was he doing anything wrong. I argued too why, whats the harm....

He now doesnt do playgrounds duties at all, because he feels bery concious of his actions.

Cavaets- we are in county where ian huntley was caught (caretaker too) this incident of ours was around 3-4 years after

We have 1 male teacher in school, weve had 3 male teachers in total in the 7 years ive know the school

[Junior Senior]

I am presuming she was a chav or educationally challenged. Should have made a scene and told her how offended you were that she would think that and ask her to apologise.

[lucky_scrote]

I find it incredibly noble that you managed to bite your tongue.

[Woodsey]

Sorry to hear about this Keith, this stuff totally winds me up, and not just this but the broader PC Bullshit that is fed out there. This is absolutely part of it. I mean this is not even funny it's so ridiculous.

This is why I always question liberal attitudes (yeah I know u don't like it) and I have no problem with some of it, but when you hear me go on about 'PC bullshit' this sort of stuff is absolutely the sort of irrelevant stuff that causes unnecessary problems.

Serious question.

If you were in my spot, what would you do?

I honestly don't know, It's one of those wtf scenarios that you just don't know how you will react until it happens. I think my most likely reaction is probably down the 'I hope your joking' route with an incredulous look on my face, but who knows for sure 

in any event it's just a totally ridiculous reaction on her part, and not entirely disimilar from people who are quick to brand people racist for next to nothing.