There is a woman in Seat 8 who, if I were married to her, I swear to God I would shoot myself.
Talk about moan moan man, she has moaned at the dealer, the players, the Floor, this that and the other.
Think her name is Mrs Wet Blanket.
You were lucky I had this guy in the seniors
Ok I've got ten mins while the Mrs is having her nails done on our 1 day round Vegas road trip taking in red rock canyon - red rock casino n a bit of shopping
Seat 2 in the seniors event is a smartly dressed guy in a cowboy hat with long white hair - think Chris Ferguson - and an almost zz top sized beard well groomed looked quite tidy very chatty to all
But had the vilest smelling breath - think 2/3 week old road kill type smell / really bad arse wind which kept getting huffed in my direction
He's drinking small plastic cups with beer in getting them refreshed on a regular basis
Tells us he's 68 in a whose the oldest completion round the table
He's from San Diego has a house there and in Vegas
Asks jack the Greek where he's from jack obv replies Greece
Yammas goes mr roadkillbreath
Isn't that hello he asks ?
Depends on what context you are using it in says jack
I'm fluent in 24 languages and can converse in 8 says mr roadkillbreath
Asks next guy where he's from Hawaii is the answer
aloha goes mr roadkillbreath yakshemash - or whatever goes mr Hawaii
Then he notices my I pad on the table
That shouldn't be there he goes , a card could could get stuck under it ! Can I get a ruling he goes call the floor please
Up chirps whiney Patricia seat 1 with some random comment about why do we have to have these devices / phones / I pods at the table
Fk u counts I think
So I put in my man bag hang it on my chair
By then the floor guy arrives asks what's the problem
So he tells him
Then asks him where he's from !
Costa Rica or the costa del sol is the reply
Off he goes jabbering away in Costa Rican / Spanish to him
Isn't it English only at the table I ask
He fixes me with an annoyed look and blasts me with another dose of roadkillbreath
Where am I from ? He asks
By now I'm ready to say fk off u cant
England I reply
What's my name asks Patricia
Tony
Tommy? He asks
No Toby goes Patricia
Toe knee I say again
That's an unusual name she goes
Is it I reply
Tony Curtis Tony Bennett Tony cor Leone I go there's at least 3 Tony's you may have heard of
I thought you were from Australia says Patricia
Obv you're not built for thinking I reply
She shuts up
Mr roadkillbreath attempts a mockney / fake cockney accent and says I should have a part in a James Bond film
I suggest he should play the part of the baddie called mr badhairday maybe have a manbun
A few at the table sginger
He shuts up at last for 2 minutes
Blinds 50/100 seat 9 button all in King queen obv been donking as its 2450 out of 5000 30 mins ago
Hhhmmmm goes mr roadkillbreath I think I HAVE ? To call
He rolls over ace 3 diamonds
I say did you put him on ace 2 ?? As that's al, you were beating really
Nobody hits anything so ace 3 suited is good
He thinks he's the bollox now
He Raises ace ten
ace queen jams all in n he calls 75% of his newly acquired stack off at 75/150 n loses Wp I mutter
Even squeaky annoying Patricia goes oh my
More to follow
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