An account of Jeeves' trip to Las Vegas latterly in the service of Mr tikay.

[boldie]

Lift music of choice

[GreekStein]

LOL don't tar my lovely sister with my destructive brush!

v good though!

[tikay]

aarrggghh - lift music piuts me on LIFE TILT

[Jeeves]

Tuesday 9.30am


His mood is even worse today.

Verbatim, he has just had the following conversation with me on the way to the Media Area

"Jeeves, what on earth does Kinboshi mean by On here tikay engages his viewers/readers/audience/groupies, talks about things in his own inimitable style, joins in a dialogue with those who respond, etc.  It's what he does well - and people love it.  ?"

"I'm not sure sir, why not ask him?"

"I can't ask him Jeeves, can I? I'll ring him up and get 20 minutes on the Hadron Collider, 10 minutes on the holocaust, 20 minutes on homeopathy, 12 minutes on religion and then 36 minutes on do I know anyone that wants a bleeding portrait photographer in Nottingham"

tikay paused as his step quickened and then the monologue resumed

"I've had enough of forums Jeeves. RNG this, rigged that. Everyone is so unintelligent. I just want to get my twitter count up and now I being told everywhere about my inadequacies on it and...Oh Jeeves!"

Just as tikay's bottom lip jutted out the tell tale sign of an incoming email alert punctured the silence. tikay looked at the screen and let out an audible sigh of frustration.

"Listen to this google alert Jeeves. On "Ladies in Poker forum" they are having a discussion on which Tena pads are best to wear when 3-betting light Out of position to an aggro raiser.  Jeeves, why don't they all talk about trains and cranes and bridges and nature and all the wonderful things the world has to offer?"

I was struggling for an answer, but I thought that it was best to be placatory at this point or else the day could become unbearable

"Sir, just be true to yourself, post what you like, do the best job you can. Don't worry about anyone else. If you lead, those you want to follow will follow. Don't worry yourself about the inner machinations of the man on the Clapham Omnibus, just be true to yourself"

"Yes but Jeeves" tikay cried. "Look at this..."

and he thrust the mobile internet screen close to my face. There, in front of me was the latest tweet from Stephen Fry which read

"Time for Cardiff Uni ceremony. The darlings are making me an hon fellow. Sweet Matthew Rhys & Michael Sheen have given me Welsh to say. Eek!"

I looked across at tikay. I feared an explosion was nigh

"Darlings, Jeeves! Darlings! That's the sort of model I am meant to follow. No Jeeves, I can't do it. Sod Kinboshi. Sod Boldie. Stuart Bipkin Binking Hopkin can do one too. I've had enough Jeeves. I will go and take my photos and tweet my tweets and listen to no one"

and with that he strode off, myself struggling to keep three paces behind and one pace to the left.

A long day ahead did indeed beckon.

[tikay]

Tuesday 9.30am


His mood is even worse today.

Verbatim, he has just had the following conversation with me on the way to the Media Area

"Jeeves, what on earth does Kinboshi mean by On here tikay engages his viewers/readers/audience/groupies, talks about things in his own inimitable style, joins in a dialogue with those who respond, etc.  It's what he does well - and people love it.  ?"

"I'm not sure sir, why not ask him?"

"I can't ask him Jeeves, can I? I'll ring him up and get 20 minutes on the Hadron Collider, 10 minutes on the holocaust, 20 minutes on homeopathy, 12 minutes on religion and then 36 minutes on do I know anyone that wants a bleeding portrait photographer in Nottingham"

tikay paused as his step quickened and then the monologue resumed

"I've had enough of forums Jeeves. RNG this, rigged that. Everyone is so unintelligent. I just want to get my twitter count up and now I being told everywhere about my inadequacies on it and...Oh Jeeves!"

Just as tikay's bottom lip jutted out the tell tale sign of an incoming email alert punctured the silence. tikay looked at the screen and let out an audible sigh of frustration.

"Listen to this google alert Jeeves. On "Ladies in Poker forum" they are having a discussion on which Tena pads are best to wear when 3-betting light Out of position to an aggro raiser.  Jeeves, why don't they all talk about trains and cranes and bridges and nature and all the wonderful things the world has to offer?"

I was struggling for an answer, but I thought that it was best to be placatory at this point or else the day could become unbearable

"Sir, just be true to yourself, post what you like, do the best job you can. Don't worry about anyone else. If you lead, those you want to follow will follow. Don't worry yourself about the inner machinations of the man on the Clapham Omnibus, just be true to yourself"

"Yes but Jeeves" tikay cried. "Look at this..."

and he thrust the mobile internet screen close to my face. There, in front of me was the latest tweet from Stephen Fry which read

"Time for Cardiff Uni ceremony. The darlings are making me an hon fellow. Sweet Matthew Rhys & Michael Sheen have given me Welsh to say. Eek!"

I looked across at tikay. I feared an explosion was nigh

"Darlings, Jeeves! Darlings! That's the sort of model I am meant to follow. No Jeeves, I can't do it. Sod Kinboshi. Sod Boldie. Stuart Bipkin Binking Hopkin can do one too. I've had enough Jeeves. I will go and take my photos and tweet my tweets and listen to no one"

and with that he strode off, myself struggling to keep three paces behind and one pace to the left.

A long day ahead did indeed beckon.

Worse - he'll bang on & on & on & ON about "speed does not kill", when it's patently obvious to even the dumbest of dumb that it DOES.

Blood pressure rising inexorably here.

It's not me, it's everyone else, don't you see?

[Jeeves]

Yes sir, I do see

There there, lets go for a nice latte and a custard cream, just like that nice Mr Kirkland used to give you.

[tikay]

Yes sir, I do see

There there, lets go for a nice latte and a custard cream, just like that nice Mr Kirkland used to give you.

Mr Kirkland, OBE, if you please.

[Jeeves]

Yes sir, I do see

There there, lets go for a nice latte and a custard cream, just like that nice Mr Kirkland used to give you.

Mr Kirkland, OBE, if you please.

Apologies, sir.


If it would make you feel better, we can talk about JCB's too, if you'd like?

[tikay]

Yes sir, I do see

There there, lets go for a nice latte and a custard cream, just like that nice Mr Kirkland used to give you.

Mr Kirkland, OBE, if you please.

Apologies, sir.


If it would make you feel better, we can talk about JCB's too, if you'd like?

Sigh. I assume you mean "Hydraulic Backhoe Excavators". "JCB" has become a generic term for all such machines. Which is so wrong.

Not all vacuum cleaners are Hoovers, are they?

[tikay]

You are SO argumentative today, too. Desist, please.

[Jeeves]

You are SO argumentative today, too. Desist, please.

Yes sir. Henceforth I will only speak when spoken too. Or I spot a particularly nice pair to snap for your private collection

[Karabiner]

You are SO argumentative today, too. Desist, please.

Yes sir. Henceforth I will only speak when spoken too. Or I spot a particularly nice pair to snap for your private collection

 

[kinboshi]

Tuesday 9.30am


His mood is even worse today.

Verbatim, he has just had the following conversation with me on the way to the Media Area

"Jeeves, what on earth does Kinboshi mean by On here tikay engages his viewers/readers/audience/groupies, talks about things in his own inimitable style, joins in a dialogue with those who respond, etc.  It's what he does well - and people love it.  ?"

"I'm not sure sir, why not ask him?"

"I can't ask him Jeeves, can I? I'll ring him up and get 20 minutes on the Hadron Collider, 10 minutes on the holocaust, 20 minutes on homeopathy, 12 minutes on religion and then 36 minutes on do I know anyone that wants a bleeding portrait photographer in Nottingham"

tikay paused as his step quickened and then the monologue resumed

"I've had enough of forums Jeeves. RNG this, rigged that. Everyone is so unintelligent. I just want to get my twitter count up and now I being told everywhere about my inadequacies on it and...Oh Jeeves!"

Just as tikay's bottom lip jutted out the tell tale sign of an incoming email alert punctured the silence. tikay looked at the screen and let out an audible sigh of frustration.

"Listen to this google alert Jeeves. On "Ladies in Poker forum" they are having a discussion on which Tena pads are best to wear when 3-betting light Out of position to an aggro raiser.  Jeeves, why don't they all talk about trains and cranes and bridges and nature and all the wonderful things the world has to offer?"

I was struggling for an answer, but I thought that it was best to be placatory at this point or else the day could become unbearable

"Sir, just be true to yourself, post what you like, do the best job you can. Don't worry about anyone else. If you lead, those you want to follow will follow. Don't worry yourself about the inner machinations of the man on the Clapham Omnibus, just be true to yourself"

"Yes but Jeeves" tikay cried. "Look at this..."

and he thrust the mobile internet screen close to my face. There, in front of me was the latest tweet from Stephen Fry which read

"Time for Cardiff Uni ceremony. The darlings are making me an hon fellow. Sweet Matthew Rhys & Michael Sheen have given me Welsh to say. Eek!"

I looked across at tikay. I feared an explosion was nigh

"Darlings, Jeeves! Darlings! That's the sort of model I am meant to follow. No Jeeves, I can't do it. Sod Kinboshi. Sod Boldie. Stuart Bipkin Binking Hopkin can do one too. I've had enough Jeeves. I will go and take my photos and tweet my tweets and listen to no one"

and with that he strode off, myself struggling to keep three paces behind and one pace to the left.

A long day ahead did indeed beckon.

Worse - he'll bang on & on & on & ON about "speed does not kill", when it's patently obvious to even the dumbest of dumb that it DOES.

Blood pressure rising inexorably here.

It's not me, it's everyone else, don't you see?

I said 'speeding' doesn't kill. 

[tikay]

Tuesday 9.30am


His mood is even worse today.

Verbatim, he has just had the following conversation with me on the way to the Media Area

"Jeeves, what on earth does Kinboshi mean by On here tikay engages his viewers/readers/audience/groupies, talks about things in his own inimitable style, joins in a dialogue with those who respond, etc.  It's what he does well - and people love it.  ?"

"I'm not sure sir, why not ask him?"

"I can't ask him Jeeves, can I? I'll ring him up and get 20 minutes on the Hadron Collider, 10 minutes on the holocaust, 20 minutes on homeopathy, 12 minutes on religion and then 36 minutes on do I know anyone that wants a bleeding portrait photographer in Nottingham"

tikay paused as his step quickened and then the monologue resumed

"I've had enough of forums Jeeves. RNG this, rigged that. Everyone is so unintelligent. I just want to get my twitter count up and now I being told everywhere about my inadequacies on it and...Oh Jeeves!"

Just as tikay's bottom lip jutted out the tell tale sign of an incoming email alert punctured the silence. tikay looked at the screen and let out an audible sigh of frustration.

"Listen to this google alert Jeeves. On "Ladies in Poker forum" they are having a discussion on which Tena pads are best to wear when 3-betting light Out of position to an aggro raiser.  Jeeves, why don't they all talk about trains and cranes and bridges and nature and all the wonderful things the world has to offer?"

I was struggling for an answer, but I thought that it was best to be placatory at this point or else the day could become unbearable

"Sir, just be true to yourself, post what you like, do the best job you can. Don't worry about anyone else. If you lead, those you want to follow will follow. Don't worry yourself about the inner machinations of the man on the Clapham Omnibus, just be true to yourself"

"Yes but Jeeves" tikay cried. "Look at this..."

and he thrust the mobile internet screen close to my face. There, in front of me was the latest tweet from Stephen Fry which read

"Time for Cardiff Uni ceremony. The darlings are making me an hon fellow. Sweet Matthew Rhys & Michael Sheen have given me Welsh to say. Eek!"

I looked across at tikay. I feared an explosion was nigh

"Darlings, Jeeves! Darlings! That's the sort of model I am meant to follow. No Jeeves, I can't do it. Sod Kinboshi. Sod Boldie. Stuart Bipkin Binking Hopkin can do one too. I've had enough Jeeves. I will go and take my photos and tweet my tweets and listen to no one"

and with that he strode off, myself struggling to keep three paces behind and one pace to the left.

A long day ahead did indeed beckon.

Worse - he'll bang on & on & on & ON about "speed does not kill", when it's patently obvious to even the dumbest of dumb that it DOES.

Blood pressure rising inexorably here.

It's not me, it's everyone else, don't you see?

I said 'speeding' doesn't kill. 

Yes, repeatedly, & monotonously, mantra-like.

[kinboshi]

Tuesday 9.30am


His mood is even worse today.

Verbatim, he has just had the following conversation with me on the way to the Media Area

"Jeeves, what on earth does Kinboshi mean by On here tikay engages his viewers/readers/audience/groupies, talks about things in his own inimitable style, joins in a dialogue with those who respond, etc.  It's what he does well - and people love it.  ?"

"I'm not sure sir, why not ask him?"

"I can't ask him Jeeves, can I? I'll ring him up and get 20 minutes on the Hadron Collider, 10 minutes on the holocaust, 20 minutes on homeopathy, 12 minutes on religion and then 36 minutes on do I know anyone that wants a bleeding portrait photographer in Nottingham"

tikay paused as his step quickened and then the monologue resumed

"I've had enough of forums Jeeves. RNG this, rigged that. Everyone is so unintelligent. I just want to get my twitter count up and now I being told everywhere about my inadequacies on it and...Oh Jeeves!"

Just as tikay's bottom lip jutted out the tell tale sign of an incoming email alert punctured the silence. tikay looked at the screen and let out an audible sigh of frustration.

"Listen to this google alert Jeeves. On "Ladies in Poker forum" they are having a discussion on which Tena pads are best to wear when 3-betting light Out of position to an aggro raiser.  Jeeves, why don't they all talk about trains and cranes and bridges and nature and all the wonderful things the world has to offer?"

I was struggling for an answer, but I thought that it was best to be placatory at this point or else the day could become unbearable

"Sir, just be true to yourself, post what you like, do the best job you can. Don't worry about anyone else. If you lead, those you want to follow will follow. Don't worry yourself about the inner machinations of the man on the Clapham Omnibus, just be true to yourself"

"Yes but Jeeves" tikay cried. "Look at this..."

and he thrust the mobile internet screen close to my face. There, in front of me was the latest tweet from Stephen Fry which read

"Time for Cardiff Uni ceremony. The darlings are making me an hon fellow. Sweet Matthew Rhys & Michael Sheen have given me Welsh to say. Eek!"

I looked across at tikay. I feared an explosion was nigh

"Darlings, Jeeves! Darlings! That's the sort of model I am meant to follow. No Jeeves, I can't do it. Sod Kinboshi. Sod Boldie. Stuart Bipkin Binking Hopkin can do one too. I've had enough Jeeves. I will go and take my photos and tweet my tweets and listen to no one"

and with that he strode off, myself struggling to keep three paces behind and one pace to the left.

A long day ahead did indeed beckon.

Worse - he'll bang on & on & on & ON about "speed does not kill", when it's patently obvious to even the dumbest of dumb that it DOES.

Blood pressure rising inexorably here.

It's not me, it's everyone else, don't you see?

I said 'speeding' doesn't kill. 

Yes, repeatedly, & monotonously, mantra-like.

Obviously not often enough, as you continue to misquote me.