An account of Jeeves' trip to Las Vegas latterly in the service of Mr tikay.

[Delboy]

 

[Jeeves]

Friday

Master is working all night tonight, and has the day off tomorrow. While he is away fruit picking off the strip I intend to indulge in a full day of rest and relaxation looking at strategically placed tassels in peppermints.

For the time being, here is a picture of the noble, plucky Master, relaxing with Christopher Mintz-Plasse "McLovin", his latest Hollywood celebrity poker playing friend. Tobey Maguire according to Master is "so last year Jeeves"

[Jeeves]

and here is Master's abode, in a semi-state of tidyness. I had to stop half way through my exertions with the damp cloth to hide the half cut oranges, and something called rohypnol

[Jeeves]

and finally, dear reader, until I update you again. Said oranges in their pre-cut state. Note bottle in the background, partially hidden

[Laxie]

At least you're making sure he eats healthy.  Can't be responsible for everything.  Although, the state of his room is shocking.  Either you're not doing your job or you need to ask for a raise.

[The_nun]

Rather worried about his intentions with the oranges.

[NoflopsHomer]

Friday

Master is working all night tonight, and has the day off tomorrow. While he is away fruit picking off the strip I intend to indulge in a full day of rest and relaxation looking at strategically placed tassels in peppermints.

For the time being, here is a picture of the noble, plucky Master, relaxing with Christopher Mintz-Plasse "McLovin", his latest Hollywood celebrity poker playing friend. Tobey Maguire according to Master is "so last year Jeeves"

You're fired.

[Jeeves]

Sunday

Master burst in, slamming the door behind him. Clearly furious, he struggled to compose himself

"Jeeves, You're fired" He said sternly

"I have spoken to Papa and you are to return home at once, where you will accompany Miss Floppina (his younger sister, twice as dippy as her older brother)  to Wimbledon Ladies Semi Final Day, and then serve one month's notice back at Floppy Towers. From that point onwards you are free to seek alternative employment"

At this point I do believe I betrayed a hint of the emotion I was feeling. Having attended Master "man and boy" it was the end of an era for me, and the end of an even longer era for my service in the Floppy family as a whole.

Recovering my composure quickly, I said to Master

"As you wish Master, I wish you all the very best in your blogging career, and your furtherance of fruit as a card protector and photgraphs of kittens as tools of emotional blackmail"

at which point Master let out a loud harrumph clearly indicating that my sentiments were wasted on him, and a measure of the intense disappointment I had caused him earlier that day.

He said "Jeeves, you left me no choice. I came back yesterday afternoon to find you naked on my bed tied up with hold-up stockings and a riding crop wedged in your mouth, and three Blonde ladies exiting rather sharply down the corridor with bags containing all my possessions. I repeat, only this time with a I will hold up a picture of a kitten for added emphasis, you left me no choice"

and Dear Reader, he was right. I now have to recount the story of yesterday, and how this sorry state of affairs came to pass.

As highlighted previously I had Saturday to myself. Once I had finished my daily chores, including polishing Master's Red Apples with Mr Sheen, I knew I would be at a loose end. Master was off gallivanting and I knew that it would be difficult for me to resist the allure of Peppermints, of flesh and potential fornication. Manservant training had barely prepared me for the perils of temptation, and serving Floppy hadn't much either. It was, with hindsight, no wonder that a man such as I fully functioning despite my advancing years would eventually succumb to the not-so-hidden delights of the Peppermints girls.

I set off for Peppermints in the early afternoon, every part the elegant British Gent out for a stroll. Brown brogues and corduroys, a White and Green check shirt beneath a Green velvet waistcoat and a cravat, monogrammed especially by Master's favourite band all those years ago, S Club 7. Little did I think how much this regulation clothing would make me stand out in the club. On arrival I accpeted the invitation to the VIP area with alacrity and soon found myself drinking the finest champagne.

It was after thirty minutes or so that I began to feel light-headed. I was entertaining Candy, Mandy and Sandy, the blonde triplets from Wisconsin with my tales of British aristocratic life, although really all two of them wanted me to do was say

"Would you like Sugar with that Madam?" repeatedly, slowly and langourously.

I had availed myself of a few rhythmic dances, thrusting pelvises waved in my face with abandon and Candy whispered in my ear

"We could go somewhere more private Jeeves, just the four of us. Book us for the day and we'll show you what we get up to on those long dark nights up by the Great Lakes"   

At first I resisted, but soon that became futile. As I got up, unsteady on my legs, I noticed some empty pharmacy store sachets on the floor by the tables and wondered what they could be? However I soon thought nothing more of it as I extended the invitation back to Master's chambers, well aware that Master was likely to be gone for a number of hours.

I had displayed my fatal weakness, one I have in common with many men -  most usually in my experience those I had been asked to serve - and allowed the unrequited stirrings in my corduroys to over-take common sense and duty.

From that point Dear Reader, my mind is a complete blank. I awoke, as found by Master, bound and gagged and, somewhat embarrassingly, naked. A note attached to the mirror in the room read, scrawled in bright cherry lipstick

"Go to the police and we give the pictures to Manservant monthly and the Daily Telegraph. You have been warned"

Oh the shame, gone were Master's over-size headphones, gone his Kumquats, the rohypnol and the laptop. No more the bloggers notebooks, his passport too, his cards and his money.

I knew that I faced the inevitable. Ignominy, shame and worst of all my flaccid and naked inadequacy in front of Master, the same Master who I had applied cream for his nappy rash oh so long ago.

So now, dear and cherished reader, the time has come to say goodbye. It is Master Floppy's birthday on Tuesday and for the first time in his at times rather anti-climactic journey through life's rich pageant I won't wake him with a rousing "Happy Birthday to you", watch paternally as he opens his gifts only to be more thrilled by the wrapping paper than the gifts inside, and then cook him his favourite tea later in the day. That will hurt me most of all.

On Monday I taxi to McCarran, for the United flight back to England, via Dallas, Cincinnati and Boston. Cattle class at Master's father's insistence. Thence to Gatwick and to SW19 to meet Floppina and her chums.

After that? Well who knows.

Tomorrow is another day.

I bid you farewell.

[Claw75]

Manservant training had barely prepared me for the perils of temptation, and serving Floppy hadn't much either.

and, somewhat embarrassingly, naked.

Another cracking read Jeeves.  If Floppy won't let you keep your job I'm sure you could make a pretty penny writing a book about how you were his 'rock'...

[boldie]

You shall be missed Jeeves.

[ariston]

what happens in vegas stays in vegas Jeeves- thems the rules. You are not the one at fault here, Floppy is for breaking the Vegas code. If his peers find out his blogging career may come to an end very quickly.


SAVE JEEVES- Dont let Floppy win

[Laxie]

what happens in vegas stays in vegas Jeeves- thems the rules. You are not the one at fault here, Floppy is for breaking the Vegas code. If his peers find out his blogging career may come to an end very quickly.


SAVE JEEVES!!!!!!!!!- Dont let Floppy win

Jeeves!!!  Are ya crazy?!  Now you can come back and post all the really good dirt without fear of losing your job!!!  Don't give up.  Get back here and post.

SAVE JEEVES!!!

Who else is with us on this one?   

[kinboshi]

[Claw75]

[Laxie]

Great stuff!!!  Anyone who would like to add the pic to their signature line, but isn't sure how to go about it...give a shout and we'll talk you through it. 

PLEASE   BLONDES...SAVE   JEEVES  !!!!!!!!!!!