There's more than one Chriswan perhaps? All stemming from your cousins gene pool.
After you broke up with the man on the right, (who needs a flippin haircut and a half
) he remained friends with your cousin (because bonds forged from drinking tins of orange lager are strong) and they travelled round the South of England impregnating everything that moves. Your cousin had more luck than the ex because he has nicer hair.
That's why he was winning all those freerolls, half the field were Chriswans.
The reason for the 412 Chriswan's simulataneous dissaperance was their simulataneous arrest for driving up parallel pavements simulataneously in Mississippi.
They are currently all serving simulataneous time behind parallel bars. They will be rehabilitated as poker playing gymnasts in time for the 2012 Olympics.