Tales from the Tube

[Snatiramas]

Snatty

i would encourage you to use the stairs at covent garden - just once!

Loving this thread btw - BoB plz

I hadthe misfortune to do it just the once when I was a lot younger. Makes Positano feel like a cake walk!!!

[Snatiramas]

Best escalator is Angel - standing at the bottom is like looking up at infinity.

Hmm never been......a gap in my education

[Snatiramas]

This is without doubt my favorite thread, i miss the tube especially the northern line, i used to travel from the bottom of Islington up to Totteridge & Whetstone nearly every day in the summer hols to go and play golf. i had various routes depending on what bus turned up first it was either south to old st or north to archway but if the 271 bus was being awkward which it often was I could find myself walking to the angel. I will never forget the day i was stopped by the transport police as a train pulled in to Archway he asked to look in my plastic bag because someone fitting my description (yeah right) had been spotted spraying graffiti, the look on his face when he saw my golf shoes was priceless lol.

I have a good bus tube story that happened this week.......one for a later date

[lazaroonie]

i was never a big tube fan when I lived in london. Despite being young and dynamic i liked the bus. I lived and worked in north finchley, with occasional forays into our office on marlybone road, just along from baker st. The no 13 or 82 bus would take you almost right to the front door. sitting upstairs, smoking, you got a real eagle-eyes view of the wholte journey. I remember it well, down thru ballards lane in  finchley central, down regents park road, across the north circular into golders green. down finchley road , thru swiss cottage and st johns wood, and past regents park onto baker street.

I knew pubs at virtually every point on this route, as sometimes I would get bored and get off, a journey home from work could take upwards of 4-5 hours 

[byronkincaid]

Best escalator is Angel - standing at the bottom is like looking up at infinity.

Hmm never been......a gap in my education

[Snatiramas]

I promised to never go on ski's again after totally wiping out a group of small children....I shall leave it to your imagination

[booder]

 

[Snatiramas]

So where to begin for this week’s tale from the tube. Where indeed. Every journey to this point had been pretty much a pleasure. No real delays or problems. Then without warning on the way home a few days ago it happened.

“Fire at Hendon no trains beyond Hampstead”

Sat on a train that had just left Euston. Sat patiently. Calmly. Sent myself into a deep relaxation and just let the rest of the world get upset. Upset they got. The hotter it got the more upset they got. I have often wondered why we all get angrier when it is hot but I am not curious enough to go and look on Wikipedia.

Eventually the train pulls away but now instead of going to Edgware it is going to High Barnet. So we pull into Camden Town. Now for those of you who don’t know, this is where the line splits. One branch to High Barnet and the other to Edgware. I know all the people for Edgware are going to get off at Camden and decide this course of action would be poor judgement. When everybody is selling you should always buy, apparently.

Sure enough half the train alights onto an already crowded platform. I find a seat and try and work out the best place to get off, to have the shortest cab journey home. Oh yes not for me standing by a bus stop, waiting for an overcrowded bus particularly as I still have some poker winnings in my wallet. I decide Finchley Central is my best bet. I can then get a cab that can cut through to Holders Hill Circus to Mill Hill and then on to Edgware.

The problem with my new plan is there are absolutely no sodding taxis at Finchley Central. No I think they must have gone towards Camden and Golders Green to get fares as soon as they heard about the problem on the Northern line. Well that’s what I like to think. More likely they were in the bookies betting on the evening racing.

So I decide to walk. Now my feet have been killing me and the thought of the walk is not a pleasant one. I cross over Ballards Lane and into Nether Street and find a bus stop that shows there is a bus that goes to Holders Hill Circus and it is due in five minutes. Heart says “walk”. Feet say “bugger off!” I wait for the bus. As I am waiting the most wonderfully attractive woman joins me. She is in a similar predicament. So we laugh and chat the way people do when faced with adversity, and we decide at Holders Hill Circus we will wait for a bus and if one is not due for a while we will share a taxi.

I always find that there is something wonderful about new company. I am just interested in the stories people have to tell, and for some reason people like to tell them to me. Well I don’t have permission to divulge what we chatted about, but the time and the journey went quickly, and from what could have been a real inconvenience the situation turned out to be a lovely experience.

The 240 from Golders Green to Edgware duly arrived, whisking us both back to normality and routine but just for half an hour, two strangers having a similar traumatic experience rose above it and made the most of an opportunity.
Although we can’t always control our lives we can decide how we are going to deal with the cards we get dealt.

Until next week. Please be aware that that there is no service between Paddington and Hammersmith.

[Snatiramas]

I am saddened to have to report that I seem to have had a reaction to a tube illness. It would appear to be quite a bad illness and I don’t think there is a cure for it. I have detected that the majority of tube station escalators are suffering from Creeping Handrail. Indeed both Albert and Victoria have contracted this malady.

 The symptoms of the illness are as follows. Well initial outward signs are undetectable. One just gets on the escalator and rests one hand gently on the handrail. Holding neither too firmly or lightly. Just gripping exactly as it would say in the user guide, if there were one. Ever so slowly I notice that my hand is starting to creep away from the rest of my body. My reaction to this illness is of course stubbornness. It takes such a short period of time, but soon enough, I am stretched out so far that I look like something from a Norman Wisdom movie.

Now the logical thing to do would be to just let go, but it is not that easy. You see let’s assume that germs can survive on an escalator handrail for as long as they can on a door handle, as portrayed in the government awareness campaign. Every time I put my hand on the handrail I run the risk of picking up something unpleasant. If I let go and then grip again, I am doubling the risk of picking up an illness. Worse still if I just hold lightly and let the handrail slip through my hand, it turns me into a germ collecting dam.

So there is nothing for it but to hold on and not let go, though I have to admit that I do get some strange looks and comments. My favourite to date is “How can you be drunk at 8 o’clock in the morning”.

Now where is my book on Howard Hughes?

This special bonus post was brought to you courtesy of Edgware Road station.

[Laxie]

    My first giggle of the morning!  x

[trafficjam]

I am saddened to have to report that I seem to have had a reaction to a tube illness. It would appear to be quite a bad illness and I don’t think there is a cure for it. I have detected that the majority of tube station escalators are suffering from Creeping Handrail. Indeed both Albert and Victoria have contracted this malady.

 The symptoms of the illness are as follows. Well initial outward signs are undetectable. One just gets on the escalator and rests one hand gently on the handrail. Holding neither too firmly or lightly. Just gripping exactly as it would say in the user guide, if there were one. Ever so slowly I notice that my hand is starting to creep away from the rest of my body. My reaction to this illness is of course stubbornness. It takes such a short period of time, but soon enough, I am stretched out so far that I look like something from a Norman Wisdom movie.

Now the logical thing to do would be to just let go, but it is not that easy. You see let’s assume that germs can survive on an escalator handrail for as long as they can on a door handle, as portrayed in the government awareness campaign. Every time I put my hand on the handrail I run the risk of picking up something unpleasant. If I let go and then grip again, I am doubling the risk of picking up an illness. Worse still if I just hold lightly and let the handrail slip through my hand, it turns me into a germ collecting dam.

So there is nothing for it but to hold on and not let go, though I have to admit that I do get some strange looks and comments. My favourite to date is “How can you be drunk at 8 o’clock in the morning”.

Now where is my book on Howard Hughes?

This special bonus post was brought to you courtesy of Edgware Road station.

lol I noticed that the handrail moved many years ago in my youth and I did exactly that as you did, I was young at the time in my early twenties. all dolled up in my high heels too, I got some strange looks!

In my youth I lived at Tufnell Park and many a time I got on the train on Northern Line and fell asleep, ending up at Finchley or Barnet.

Great thread, look forward to next episode.

[Snatiramas]

Isn't it great how this totally innocuous subject touches so many people with such memories.....I love it.

Since my reacquaintance with the tube one thing, more than any other, has troubled me. I was always brought up to give up my seat to somebody older or a woman. Now apparently this is, in our new super evolved everything is equal society, not the done thing. Oh no, not only now does the poor bloke who offers his seat feel embarrassed, but the poor lady who is the recipient of this gallantry, can feel the daggers of every feminist and down trodden man willing her to say “No it is okay thank you”. Of course the look on her face is one that says “Of course I want to sit down. I am woman. I am programmed to only buy shoes that kill my feet!”

So to today and the mother of all dilemmas. The train reaches Hampstead and the most drop dead gorgeous thirty something gets onto the train. I mean immaculate. I do so love business women. The smart suit, the faint aroma of very expensive perfume. Now I should give up my seat. In my world it is the right thing to do. Of course if I do then the whole train are going to be judgemental in the extreme. Torn. Totally unsure what to do next. The funny thing is I know that I am not the only one having these thoughts.

I have a bloke standing right in front of me and he will sit in the seat if I just stand up. I know he will do this as I saw him push in front of Lady Lovely as they got on. So the question is what should I do? So I smile at Lady Lovely and tell her I am getting off at the next stop whilst in one fluid movement standing on Peter Pushy’s foot so that she could sit down. The train pulls in at Belsize Park and I get off. And get straight back on one car down.

This is I know quite ludicrous behaviour. Or is it? You see I honestly believe that nothing in life is equal. I am a six foot tall, fat, bald, glass wearing man. I am different to every other man and for that matter every other woman. If I want to give up my seat why should I feel so guilty or even give a toss about the rest of the train. The truth is I don’t. I do, however, care that my actions might cause somebody else embarrassment.......

Until next week. The next Eastbound train will arrive in four minutes.

[Chompy]

LOLZ, you really do that Snat? WP, even though not a preggers female or Tikay-aged dude.
Just caught up with this thread...
If you want the ultimate hand-rail-ahead-of-foot-movement escalator, get yo ass down to the Beau Rivage. You'll end up 12ft tall and it only goes up one level.
They've been showing a WPT event from 'The Beau' on Sky Sports the last couple of nights. Absolute quality. Some old guy called Hilbert, who used to knock around with Doyle and Dewey, made the final four. So southern it's beyond belief. Can't wait to get back there next January. Table for four at the barbequuuuuuuue joint please, me, Dooey, Doyley and Hilbert.

[Snatiramas]

LOLZ, you really do that Snat? WP, even though not a preggers female or Tikay-aged dude.
Just caught up with this thread...
If you want the ultimate hand-rail-ahead-of-foot-movement escalator, get yo ass down to the Beau Rivage. You'll end up 12ft tall and it only goes up one level.
They've been showing a WPT event from 'The Beau' on Sky Sports the last couple of nights. Absolute quality. Some old guy called Hilbert, who used to knock around with Doyle and Dewey, made the final four. So southern it's beyond belief. Can't wait to get back there next January. Table for four at the barbequuuuuuuue joint please, me, Dooey, Doyley and Hilbert.

I wish I did it more, but some mornings I am asleep and some I am surrounded by city types so I don't bother. Sometimes I am so early there is nobody standing....
 I might get a game in Miami when I go over there with work. I promise to write it up if I do. Biloxi sounds nuts. Maybe you should wear a t-shirt with country music sucks, or Gay power to see if you can tilt half the table before you start. Of course you may not get away alive but it would be exciting!

[mondatoo]

Haha great story,crazy but funny the perfect mix.