blonde poker forum

U R A GLASWEGIAN If:
>
>1. Ye can properly pronounce McConnochie ;-), Ecclefechan Milngavie,
>Sauchiehall, St Enoch, Auchtermuchty and Aufurfuksake.
>
>2. Ye actually like deep fried battered pizza fae the chippie.
>
>3. Ye get four seasons in wan day.
>
>4. Ye canny pass a chip/kebab shop withoot sleverin when yer blootert.
>
>5. Ye kin fall about pished withoot spilling yer drink.
>
>6. Ye see people wear shell suits with burberry accessories - pure
class!
>
>7. Ye measure distance in minutes.
>
>8. Ye kin understaun Rab C Nesbitt and know characters just like him,
>in yer ain family.
>
>9. Ye go tae Saltcoats cos ye think it is like gaun tae the ocean.
>
>10. Ye kin make hael sentences jist wae sweer wurds.
>
>11. Ye know whit haggis is made ae and stull like eating it.
>
>12. Somedy ye know his used a fitba schedule tae plan thur wedding day
>date.
>
>13. You've been at a wedding and fitba scores are announced in the
>Church/Chapel.
>
>14. Ye urny surprised tae find curries, pizzas, kebabs, fish n chips,
>irn-bru, fags and nappies all in the wan shop.
>
>15. Yer holiday home at the seaside has calor gas under it.
>
>16. A big flash car has a ned at the wheel.
>
>17. Ye know irn-bru is a hangover cure.
>
>18. Ye learnt tae sweer afore ye learnt tae dae sums.
>
>19. Ye actually understand this and yurr gonnae send it tae yer pals .
>
>20. Finally, you are 100% Glaswegian if you have ever said/heard these
>words...
  how's it hingin
  clatty
  boggin
  cludgie
  pished
  get it up ye
  wee beasties
  arse bandit
  amurny
  away an bile yer heid
  peely-wally
  humphey backit
  Ba'-heid
  baw bag
  dubble nuggit

>Wee Glesca wumman goes intae a butchershop, where the butcher has just
>came oot the freezer, and is standing haunds ahint his back, with his
>rear end aimed at an electric fire.
>
>The wee wumman checks oot the display case then asks, "Is that yer
>Ayrshire bacon?"
>"Naw," replies the butcher. "It's jist ma haun's Ah'm heatin'."

I can't even read it properly

 rotflmfao

Brings back memorys of my granny...away an bile yer heid  away and boil you're head

she would always inspect our scalp when we would visit her, looking for wee beasties.

Reminds me, I once managed to fall down a flight of stairs whilst carrying two drinks.

Somehow I didn't spill a drop...

nows thats the first funny joke yer hae told