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> A father watched his young daughter playing in the garden.
> He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and pure his little girl was.
> Tears formed in his eyes as he thought about her seeing the wonders of

> nature through such innocent eyes. Suddenly she just stopped and
> stared at the ground. He went over to her to see what work of God had
> captured her attention. He noticed she was looking at two spiders
> mating. "Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?" she asked. "They're

> mating,"her father replied. "What do you call the spider on top?" she
> asked. "That's a Daddy Longlegs," her father answered. "So, the other
> one is a Mommy Longlegs?" the little girl asked. As his heart soared
> with the joy of such a cute and innocent question he replied "No dear.

> Both of them are Daddy Longlegs." The little girl, looking a little
> puzzled, thought for a moment, then took her foot and stomped them
> flat, saying "Well, we're not having any of that brokeback mountain
> sh!t in our garden."

A tourist walked into a pet shop and was looking at the animals on display, when another customer walked in and said to the shopkeeper, "I'll have a "C" monkey please."
The shopkeeper nodded, went over to a cage at the side of the shop and took out a monkey. "That'll be $5,000."
The customer paid and walked out with his monkey. Startled, the tourist went over to the shopkeeper and said, "That was a very expensive monkey. Why did it cost so much?"
The shopkeeper answered, "Ah, that monkey can programme in C - very fast, tight code, no bugs, well worth the money."
The tourist looked at the monkey in another cage. "That one's even more expensive! $10,000! What does it do?"
"Oh, that one's a C++ monkey; it can manage object-oriented programming, Visual C++, even some Java. All the really useful stuff," said the shopkeeper.
The tourist looked around for a little longer and saw a third monkey in a cage of its own. The price tag around its neck read $50,000. He gasped to the shopkeeper, "That one costs more than all the others put together! What on earth does it do?"
The shopkeeper replied, "Well, I haven't actually seen it do anything, but the other monkeys call him the Management consultant."

 rotflmfao its soooo true  :D