blonde poker forum

Las Vegas New Residents Guide.
The section is headed Homeland Security and is intended as a guide following September 11, 2001. There are numerous recommendations but these extracts just about sum up the American IQ.

What Are the Signs of Suspicious Mail or Packages?
*Is lopsided or lumpy
*Wires that protrude from the package
*A ticking sound

What Should I do With Suspicious Mail?
*Do not shake, sniff, touch, taste or look closely at it
*Do not show it to others
*If it is already in your hands when you become suspicious - put it down

So you dont think it would be a good idea to wrap my alarm clock in brown paper and put it in my hand luggage when i fly over to Vegas tomorrow morning??  :D

Perhaps stick your phone charger in there as well so the wire can protrude from the package.

That's pretty helpful advise for some folks out here.

Just like this......

Me : 2 Tickets for the Neil Diamond tribute at the Riviera please.

Box Office Chick : You understand it's not the real Neil Diamond, right?



That's our species folks.

It's not just Americans that need telling apparently.  Our office guidance on dealing with suspicious packages is very similar!!

On the immigration form that they give you to fill in on the plane, just tick "yes" to all the questions.

That should get you a few laughs  ;goodvevil;

Isn't one of the questions "Are you a terrorist planning on killing the president?" or "Are you Osama Bin Laden in disguise?" or some rubbish like that?

'Have you ever committed an act of genocide?' I think it is... duh...even if you had, would you fess up to it?

i still dont actually know what "moral turpitude" is, far less have I ever committed it........

I'd think you have ;)
 

I hope I have & mean to if I haven't!!

What Are the Signs of Suspicious Mail or Packages?
*Is lopsided or lumpy
*Wires that protrude from the package
*A ticking sound

I work with the general public and this is the sort of info we get told.. ie ..does the package look suspicious?.. does the item have wires sticking out.. if so treat it cautiously.. if not lost property.. :D..Why the hell would a bomber leave bleeding wires protruding .?

Oh sir.. if I fail to go off on my own would you be so kind as to pull the red wire protruding from the left zip....I think not..

I remember getting a suspicious looking package at work once, so I was very diligent and followed all the instructions - carefully placed the package on a desk, made everyone move away from it, and call our departmental security officer.  So I call the guy and tell him we have a suspicious package.  He asks what is suspicious about it and I explain how it meets several of the criteria we have been told to look out for (not quite as obvious as protruding wires or ticking in this case though!).  He agrees we need to treat it as suspicious and says clear everyone out of the office, he's coming up.  So I get all the staff out, and up he pops.  Walks over to the package, picks it up and shakes it, tears it open and says "it's ok, just a load of leaflets!".  Well thank god for that!

:D

a little tip for anyone travelling to vegas. the gun store is a great place to learn how to fire a gun.

when you get there they will give you a gun and offer you a target sheet of paper to shoot at.

they will offer you standard pictures of a body with cross points on, as well as more colourful ones such as osama bin laden and a middle eastern looking terrorist.

dont try and be comical by asking if they have george bush. they didn't seem to find it as amusing as i did

Thats why the tickets were so expensive!! ::)

Happy Buffday ya big fud.  ;cheerleader;

u2 mate :)up

are you in the: too hung over to move phase, or the, still drunk enough to carry on phase?  (i'm somewhere in between) ;D

8 hours behind you, only on phase two now.

Too hungover to move becasue of cramp in my leg.

Nevermind, rooooooooom service.  8)