blonde poker forum

A few week ago I drove past a skip and noticed a nice aluminium bicycle frame on top of the other rubbish. When I was a boy I often used to salvage old bikes from the scrap and build them up, although I usually had to make do with with odd sized wheels, long bolts for pedals and the sole of my jellybeans for brakes. I stopped and took a closer look.

The frame looked like a mountain bike type, and quite an expensive one. The thick aluminium tubes were mitered and welded together and were emblazoned with the Peugeot logo and the words 'Alitech' Suddenly, I was all enthusiastic about re-building it. "It will be great!" I told myself "And when it's done, I'll have to ride it, it will give me a reason to take some exercise" In truth though, I think I just wanted to be a little boy playing around with bikes again.

I didn't want to just take it from the skip, I've tried that before and almost got arrested. It is, apparently, stealing. So I knocked on the door of the house that was nearest to the skip, and a man of about my age answered. It was indeed his rubbish in the skip, he had bought the house recently and was clearing out a shed at the bottom of the garden. "Theres loads of bike stuff amongst that rubbish" he said, Your welcome to have a root around, take what you like" I didn't need telling twice, within seconds I was in the skip, flinging stuff about like a deranged contestant on Supermarket Sweep. (Why is Dale Winton so orange? I bet if you licked him, he would cure scurvy)

The skip yielded a treasure-trove of bike related paraphernalia. Two sets of wheels, one set steel the other aluminium, both sans tyres, handlebars with brake levers, a pump, (broken) and the bottom half of a large suitcase filled with cogs, cranks, gears, and  cables. All kind of modern looking. I tidied up the mess I'd made, loaded my booty into the back of my pickup, and retired to my shed to try to sort it all out.

This was where I ran into problems. Bikes have changed a lot in the last 35 years, everything looked unfamiliar. I had no idea how to fit and adjust 27 speed Shimano derailleur gears, or Super V brakes etc, I also needed tyres, a seat post, and a saddle. I would have to make a trip to a bike shop.

That night, just before I logged on to blonde, a thought occurred to me, 'I wonder if they have forums for d.i.y. cycle repairs?'

Wow!! Do they ever! Theres fazands of em. I trawled through a few and came upon one that used exactly the same format as blondes old one. I signed up, introduced myself, and asked if the members could answer a few questions for me.

I got replies almost instantly. I was welcomed to the forum, and given loads of great advice. Then someone came on and offered the opinion that if I didn't know such basic stuff, I had no business trying to re-build a bicycle in the first place, someone else joined in, and they had a whale of a time at my expense. Several others came on to berate the Micky takers, and it all kicked off, name calling, threats, the lot. Eventually, the miscreants got tired of this game and sanity returned. I asked a few more questions and got some really good, detailed replies. Then someone dissagereed with one particular piece of advice, and it all kicked off again. Although it was dissappointing, it didn't bother me too much, but of course, I've seen it all before. (Imagine if it had been my first visit to a forum)

I eventually did get the bike re-built. It turns out it's a mountain bike and it will go anywhere, I've discovered dozens of wild unspoiled places that I never knew existed, all within 10 miles of where I live.

Cycling again after so many years was tough going at first. My legs ached like hell, and my arse was like a blood orange. But after a couple of weeks, I found myself bowling down a country lane, swerving from side to side for no other reason than it felt nice, making racing car noises, a big stupid grin on my face.   

I can't wait for, 'Red-Dog: The Book'

 ;tightend;

if blondepoker ever gets a cyclce team together for the our de france we now have our team mechanic/team leader

i will do the managers job (sitting in the car telling them to get a move on while sipping champange)

now we just need 8 more riders and a team doctor who can give em all the drugs we need to win

I offer my right arm to the cycling team's cause...as long as I don't have to look at the needle


just don't expect me to actually cycle though

I thought you had recently been on your bike - or did I misunderstand the conversation?

 :goodpost:   ;iagree;

lol, you understood correctly...


p.s do not offer colonic as weight loss technique!

Enjoyable read as ever. Hope you and your bike have many happy hours together.

Awesome! I can picture him riding it too, legs a-kimbo, off the pedals, downhill, swerving about, "wheeeee"....!

I used to ride bikes for my County, actually.

Have I whoosehed everybody completely? I have I now been whooshed?  :blonde:

Cycling is great isn't it red .  Its cheap, fun and it gets you out in the fresh air.  And then theres those downhills which are the biggest thrill.  I still want to break 49mph. I have had 48mph many times, but never 49.  One day though it will happen

Lovely stuff Tom, tho I have just spit coffee over my keyboard.....

Cycling again after so many years was tough going at first. My legs ached like hell, and my arse was like a blood orange. But after a couple of weeks, I found myself bowling down a country lane, swerving from side to side for no other reason than it felt nice, making racing car noises, a big stupid grin on my face.    

Is there anything you havent done for your county tikay? lol..

Oh, and red = legend. 8)

Not that I can think of.

Oh, I've never fibbed for my County, does that count?

Yes - great story Red - you know you have to do a book. It's a bit like we all knew Tikay had to do something about an amatuer poker organisation - you have to do a book.

Over to you,

Tracey x  (or according to AWOP Lesley Dell  ::) )

I suppose it does, can we have a ruling please? Is there a county fibbing team?!  :D

Yes. (Honest)

 rotflmfao         very good - i set myself up for that one a bit.

I'd buy a copy...

Red .....about time you posted some more of your adventures! I have missed these gems!!

Great read Red makes me think about getting my own bike out of the shed.

 :respect:

that would be the derbyshire penny farthing team

Quote 58.

In fact, in "real" keepy-uppy, I played for my County, at Under-16 & Senior level. Got trophies & stuff, & had a trial for the England Keepy-Uppy team.


So when you weren't keepy uppy riding bikes  8)for your country...what did you do in your spare time..

 rotflmfao rotflmfao

Another classic from Red-dog. So that's where you've been Tom.

I don't believe I ever said that Maureen.

Someone practicing there fibbing ?? I remember reading this the other day from you..

Thanks Rooky for your support..

I will have to have him over my knee for telling fibs next time I see him. He's never too old for a good spanking you know .. 8)

Not me. One of us is getting confused.

You once told me you were Richard Gere's body double.......

You can give up the act now tikay - youve got what you wanted from nun guarenteed :P

It was in the forum http://blondepoker.com/forum/index.php?topic=13442.15

That's true.

What a great post. For once I am stumped for a smart arse comment

You foget how much fun it can be.

When I was a boy, I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me!

:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

I didn't really. my dad would have killed me.

rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao

My wife asked me if i would like a bike for my birthday last november. I thought she was kidding. After work she took me to a bike shop and i picked my bike out, and she bought it, i still thought she was kidding. I picked it up a week later...................................................and i love it.

I cycle 2 miles to and from work every day, some times bombing through traffic, other times if its wet i go down the river side walk and bomb through the puddles and mud. There is a drop off an old railway platform that i jump off sometimes on the way home.

I've managed to fall off 3 times and been crying with laughter.
 I think my bike is one of my fav possessions...............and im 31.

I also live near the largest working set of canal locks, you can hit 30-40 mph downthere!

Next time your running bad or taken a few beat jump on your bike.