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As today is a day to celebrate all things Scottish I feel we should give a cheer for those things scottish that we have given the world and for which they should be eternally grateful. As a member of the master race that resides above our little English cousins i don't like to poke fun at their expense particularly often. I try to treat them in the same manner as you would a petulant child, humour them to a point then remind them who is the Boss when it is required.

So I will start you off with a few and will drop back in as the day goes on to re-affirm our magnificence.

So easy ones to begin:

Penicillin
Internal Combustion Engine
Television
Telephone's
Bay City Rollers
Deep Fried Mars Bars


Feel free to add to the list it is endless..........

Deep Fried Heroin

Shite Goalkeepers
the Krankies


Yeah ... thanks Scotland :D

Elephant Polo

The average Englishman, in the home he calls his castle, slips into his national costume — a shabby raincoat — patented by chemist Charles Macintosh from Glasgow, Scotland.

En route to his office he strikes along the English lane, surfaced by John Macadam of Ayr, Scotland.

He drives an English car fitted with tyres invented by John Boyd Dunlop of Dreghorn, Scotland, arrives at the station and boards a train, the forerunner of which was a steam engine, invented by James Watt of Greenock, Scotland.

He then pours himself a cup of coffee from a thermos flask, the latter invented by Dewar, a Scotsman from Kincardine-on-Forth.

At the office he receives the mail bearing adhesive stamps invented by James Chalmers of Dundee, Scotland.

During the day he uses the telephone invented by Alexander Graham Bell, born in Edinburgh, Scotland.

At home in the evening his daughter pedals her bicycle invented by Kirkpatrick Macmillan, blacksmith of Dumfries, Scotland.

He watches the news on his television, an invention of John Logie Baird of Helensburgh, Scotland, and watches with interest an item about the U.S. Navy, which was founded by John Paul Jones of Kirkbean, Scotland.

He has by now been reminded too much of Scotland and in desperation he picks up the Bible only to find that the first man mentioned in the good book is a Scot, King James VI & I, who authorized its translation.

Nowhere can a foreigner run to escape the ingenuity of the Scots.

He could take to drink, but the Scots make the best in the world.

He could take a rifle and end it all but the breech-loading rifle was invented by Captain Patrick of Pitfours, Scotland.

If he escapes death, he might then find himself on an operating table injected with penicillin, which was discovered by Alexander Fleming of Darvel, Scotland, and later given an anaesthetic, which was discovered by Sir James Young Simpson of Bathgate, Scotland.

Out of the anaesthetic, he would find no comfort in learning he was as safe as the Bank of England founded by William Paterson of Dumfries, Scotland.

Perhaps his only remaining hope would be to get a transfusion of guid Scottish blood which would entitle him to ask: “Wha’s Like Us?”

 :dd: :dd:

(http://www.strumhor.co.uk/Forth%20Bridge.jpg)

Elephant Polo

I thought that the first real inventor of the telephone was Innocenzo Manzetti as early as 1844, but then i just found that Antonio Meucci was recognised as the first inventor of the telephone by the United States Congress, in its resolution 269 dated 11 June 2002.

 ;whistle;

The Krankies

(http://images.scotsman.com/2004/12/07/0712polb.jpg)

 Fair fa' your honest, sonsie face

We don't want to take credit for others inventions we are purely the masters at this sport.

Some more

Economics
Golf (and don't start with yer Chinese/Dutch mince  ;bat;)
Logarithms
US Navy (okay maybe not too much credit there)
And one for Kev:  Microwave Ovens


FFS Tank had to go and change half my post but great post, in keeping with our overall excellence    ;kneelsucker;

Adam Smith was Scottish?


Is that what you are getting at?

A non-binding resolution.  rotflmfao

They'll say anything to appease antsy Italian Americans causing a hubbub on the upper East side.

Besides which, two tin cans and a piece of string, is not a telephone and I do not recognize the United States Congress as being qualified historians.

As you know he was from where I am currently situated at work in Dunfermline and the Wealth of nations helped create the Academic disipline of Economics. Bit Tenuous i know but hey we also said Nigel Quashie was Scottish.    :dontask:

well the first tube telephone was in china, 9xx something.  


But regardless of that,

Happy St. Andrew day to all the Scotts out there.  Have fun today and celebrate with style.  

Good job there wasn't any Buckfast in previous centuries otherwise that list would have been very short.

Oi get back to your own thread   :redcard:

Sherlock Holmes
Jekyll and Hyde
Long John Silver
Peter Pan
Begbie

Buckfast Abbey has been a home to a community of monks since 1018.

The best one yet  rotflmfao rotflmfao

They may have got there just after breakfast, but they didn't start making the alcoholic drink until just before seven in the evening.

James Maxwell discovered electricity

John Napier invented decimals and logarithms

William Rankine founded thermodynamics

James Young first produced paraffin


Just what would the world be like if it wasn't for Scottish ingenuity?

Our national bard would have you believe we've been getting drouthy in Scotland for a fair old time before that too.

Ginger hair and freckles

We all know Patsy Palmer was a cockney.

Not possible, I demand a DNA test!

We probably invented them too.  ;yippee;

The problem with Scotland, is that it's full of Scots.

no it's not full at all, plenty of room - come up and join us

No it isnt , Blackpool is though :D

They must be drawn by the variety of lean cuisine on offer in that seaside town.

Them jocks sure do love their salads.

The first Grand Wizard of the Ku Klux Klan was Scottish.

Looking at the first link after googling 'scottish inventions' apparently we invented pink bathtubs and Neptune as well :)

Nope, I give up.

Can't think of anything else negative to say about Scotland. :(

I guess we just kick ass  ;sark;

Suited_Jock!!!!!!

Poor Dolly the sheep never got a mention for the first cloned animal.  All done at the Roslin institute in midlothian.

I would like to thank Scotland for Séamas Ó Conghaile

I have to say I was in Edinburgh last weekend drinking your beer and pillaging your women. The most bizarre thing I saw was one of your museums that had Dolly the sheep stuffed inside as thier main attraction. I might have gone in but as that was the main feature I thought it must have been a rubbish museum ;)

Stuffing Dolly the sheep and her non cloned relatives is a bit of a tradition north of the border.

went t school with one of the team who produced dolly. Nae idea where the fascination with sheep came from

My Mum
My Grandad
Rainy holidays