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Yesterday, I bought myself pie chips and gravy to eat while walking around the town. Eating, walking, looking and not buying is one of my favorite pastimes.

Anyway, as I walked, from the corner of my eye I happened to notice a very striking young woman coming out of WH Smiths. She had long dark hair beneath one of those Russion type fur hats, a knee length fur coat, black leather boots and gloves. She smiled at me. (ok, perhaps she was smiling at someone else, but you can't prove it). Her mouth was a vivid red slash in her pale face, it was a great smile.

At that point, I stubbed my toe on the curb and started to fall. In an effort to regain my balance I began to run forwards, arms outstretched. Now, here comes the part that I don't understand. Why do people who are falling hold what ever it is they are carrying at arms length in front of them? Surely it would make more sense to bring the object closer to your body and therefore your center of gravity, but you just can't do it. Why not!!?

As I crossed the market square I was doing about 17 mph while leaning forward at an impossible angle. I narrowly avoided several old lady- shopping basket on wheels combo's before crashing, pie and chips first, into an artificial flower stall.

I am now the proud owner of a very pretty but somewhat gravy-stained bunch of artificial flowers, they give me something nice to look at as I contemplate the apparent conflicts between physics and reflex action.

I hope the girl didn't see you fall over :)

I suppose it's because we would instinctively put our arms forward to help break our fall?

Please tell me that the pie survived ??

did Mrs Red like the flowers?

lol

it's not Christmas day yet :D

I once fell over coming out of assembly at school, i was the first one out and running for some reason, the contents of my rucksack and lunch box spread over a wide area and i shamefully had to limp around picking it all up while being humiliated by about 450 of my fellow pupils.

Anybody else got any embaresing fall stories or just embaressing stories?

I fell in love once ......... NEVER AGAIN !! :)

your brains first reaction when it thinks you are about to fall is to put your arms forward outstretched so that they will help lower the speed of the rest of your body hitting the ground regardless of whether you are carrying anything or not.

also in this instance your brain also knows the reaction of Mrs Red when you arrive home with pie, chips and gravy smothered all over your shirt ;)

(another reason why it pays to have long arms!! :D)

I hope not - I want our love to last for ever   :kiss:

I went to a posh school. Did me no good whatsoever but there you go

I was in the Combined cadet force, and we were having the CCF's big annual parade in front of visiting forces bigwigs.


Part of this was for all of us, a few hundred 14-18 year olds to do a big march past and we'd been practicing for weeks


So there were all, all dolled up, shiny shoes, berets on and the music starts

Off we go

EYES RIGHT as we walk past Colonel Blyth-Smithers-Farquarson at which point I stumble, push into the lad in front of me and half the parade stumbles like a pack of dominos falling.

They let us start again. I was put at the front!!




 

How old were you - did you have short trousers on? I want to really relish picturing this scene.  ;D

Something else is bothering me now, which of the following do you think is true?

1: The world is full of pretty girls who smile at me.

2: I'm imagining it.

Number 1

most pretty girls smile when they come face to face with a famous tv celebrity........

I was 17. long trousers, flat stomach. No, really.

Red, its 2. Trust me. It is for me anyway, unless I'm paying.

Answers:

1. The world is full of pretty girls who smile at ME.

2 You're imagining it  

 ;D

Oi - Monkeyboy - another relative?

The forum needs pictures.

Tight being 17 or tight paying? ;D

My brother Tracy and I were once running through an abattoir when he stepped on a discarded kidney. He skidded along on one leg, arms outstretched, for about 40 yards before coming to a sharp bend. He was unable to negotiate this corner at high speed and ended up colliding with a huge mountain of steaming tripe.

We both tried to do it again but it was a one off.

No piccies available.

RED, Hinckley seems to have a high proportion of stunning women..there was the pink dress lady a while back too that you, ahem, tangled with

What do you put this down to?

no - but i had a choice in pictures of the "tv star red-dog" at my disposal and knowing that you were logged into the forum i thought you'd enjoy that one more ;)

That's what I was getting at in my earlier post. Is the world really filled with beautiful, smiley women or am I just going senile and inventing them?

Perhaps I'm just easily stunned?

Its not invented, you just have a wider appreciation of beauty than the more narrow basis you looked at it when you were younger.

perhaps you notice them more because you spend your time walking in and out of ladies toilets? ;)

Any news on the pie !!

The world is filled with beautiful, smiley women,

They smile because they are beautiful, or they are beautiful because they smile?

I managed to recover more than half of it from between the cobbles. Thank god that poodle was a slow eater.

That's a great point! Option 2 for me every time.

that's definetly an option 2.

and yes there are plenty of beautifull women out there...Amazing how often it is actually not the women who consider themselves to be beautifull though

Is that a compliment to Mrs Red or are you in a heap of trouble?

its a compliment of course

Possibly expressed incorrectly, but I am not a wordsmith

Mrs Red was slightly more narrow when we were younger.

the not many things that make your day more than a random beutiful lady smiling at you for no particular reason.

I always invent a reason.

Now if you'd have had the telly remote control in the other hand you could have pressed "pause"  ::)

And if I'd had that poodle in my other hand I could have pressed "Paws"

I imagine that even if your hands were unladen with pastry products, you would still hold your arms outsrteched.

Once the brain thinks it's falling, the instinct is to stick your limbs in the way so that it is them that takes the brunt of the fall, and not your head or central organs.

You may break an arm, but if you landed on your head, you would not likely be able to get up and continue running from (or fighting) any predator that casused you to trip.

Just a hypothesis.

But why can't you at least throw the object away?

I've held on to horse tethers while the fleeing horse has dragged me through swamps, nettles, thistles etc, I even hung onto a 6/4 sheet of plywood as the wind blew me accross two lanes of speeding traffic. Why can't you just let go?

coupled with tanks theory it could be hanging on to your defensive weapon

Have you ever tried to hit an hypothesis with a horse?

Or that your muscles tense up, ready to better recieve the oncoming shock of the fall and bound back up again.

A side effect of your limb muscles tensing, I suppose would be your grip being locked in.

Neigh

That cracked me up!  ;hattip; rotflmfao rotflmfao

Pure class!

what took you so long?!?!?!? ;)

Back in the day before i passed my driving test i used to get to work on those peasant carriers, one day we got of the bus in Birmingham city centre and we had to walk thru the market area (for those who know, get off at the Cabin pub and walk thru to where Adams is).
Anyway they had just repaved the market area and used the wrong paves (slippery when wet, but they didn't know yet), in front of me was this huge black geezer, i mean enormous, it had been raining and he slipped on the paves, went about 10 feet into the air and landed with a sickening thump, briefcase split open, papers all over the place.
Needless to say i nearly p***ed myself with laughter because it was a real comedy moment only for him to turn and stare straight at me, i absolutely s**t myself and was a bout to turn and run when he just smiled sheepishly, grabbed his stuff and hurried off.
I think that was my most embarrassing moment, i felt really bad afterwards.