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Poker Forums => The Rail => Topic started by: snoopy1239 on February 02, 2007, 07:41:20 PM

Title: Favourite Simpsons' Lines
Post by: snoopy1239 on February 02, 2007, 07:41:20 PM

Watching it just now and the following made me laugh...

Bart (to cop): Wow, can I see your club?
Cop (sarcastically): It's called a Ba-ton, son.
Bart: What do you do with it?
Cop: We club people.

:D

Care to share your faves?

Title: Re: Favourite Simpsons' Lines
Post by: Canuck on February 02, 2007, 07:58:41 PM

Women should stick to girlie sports like oil wrestling, foxy boxing and such and such

Title: Re: Favourite Simpsons' Lines
Post by: snoopy1239 on February 02, 2007, 08:54:40 PM

On the same episode...

Bart: Comparing Nelson's sick note with his recent test paper, you'll noticed his 'd's are elongated in the same way.
Skinner: Forgery!!!.... So he didn't have leprosy...

;sark;

Title: Re: Favourite Simpsons' Lines
Post by: Martu on February 02, 2007, 11:05:12 PM

If I may offer a few candidates:

Lisa: Oedipus is the one who killed his father and married his mother
Homer: Arrrgh! Who paid for THAT wedding?

Homer: Alcohol the cause of and solution to all of life's problems

Homer: Trying is the first step towards failure

Moe: Yeah, so last night I was closing up the bar, when some young punk comes in and tries to stick me up. Well, it coulda been a real ugly situation, but I managed to shoot him in the spine. Yeah, I guess the next place he robs better have a ramp! Ha ha!

Title: Re: Favourite Simpsons' Lines
Post by: I, Zimbra on February 02, 2007, 11:44:56 PM

After Lisa asks why he always eats donuts at work and never eats anything healthy like fruit, Homer's response:

Homer (pointing to a donut): This one's got purple stuff inside. Purple's a fruit...

Title: Re: Favourite Simpsons' Lines
Post by: RED-DOG on February 03, 2007, 12:07:11 AM

Prison guard to Homer

"No listening, you hear?"

Title: Re: Favourite Simpsons' Lines
Post by: booder on February 03, 2007, 12:13:10 AM

my favourite..............whats on the other channels ?

Title: Re: Favourite Simpsons' Lines
Post by: The Baron on February 03, 2007, 12:38:37 AM

All of my favourite lines are from Ralph Wiggum or Grandpa Simpson.

My all time favourite (this week) is when Ralph Wiggum plants an Ice Cream on his forehead and then says:

"I'm a unitard!"

Title: Re: Favourite Simpsons' Lines
Post by: doubleup on February 03, 2007, 12:46:07 AM

Anyone who's woken up the morning after a severe dent in the bankroll has got to appreciate Homer waking up in the garden and saying "Ah the two seconds of bliss before I remember the reason why I'm sleeping in the garden"

Title: Re: Favourite Simpsons' Lines
Post by: Zebediah on February 03, 2007, 01:02:56 AM

Far far too many, this thread could beat the numbers game.

Title: Re: Favourite Simpsons' Lines
Post by: snoopy1239 on February 03, 2007, 01:08:54 AM

Quote from: doubleup on February 03, 2007, 12:46:07 AM

Waking up without my shirt is normally the givaway

Title: Re: Favourite Simpsons' Lines
Post by: RED-DOG on February 03, 2007, 01:17:09 AM

Hello operator? Gimme the number for 911

Title: Re: Favourite Simpsons' Lines
Post by: JungleCat03 on February 03, 2007, 01:32:40 AM

Homer: Why do you mock me, O Lord?
Marge: Homer, that's not God. That's just a waffle that Bart tossed up
there.
[Marge knocks the waffle into Homer's hands]
Homer: I know I shouldn't eat thee, but -- [bites]

Mmm, sacrilicious.

Title: Re: Favourite Simpsons' Lines
Post by: Zebediah on February 03, 2007, 01:39:48 AM

Probably not 100% accurate...

"This park is so perfect nothing can possibli go wrong"

Title: Re: Favourite Simpsons' Lines
Post by: RED-DOG on February 03, 2007, 01:42:27 AM

Ned Flanders to Bart and Lisa: "Hello neglectarino's"

Title: Re: Favourite Simpsons' Lines
Post by: JungleCat03 on February 03, 2007, 01:43:48 AM

Whenever I feel like I'm about to go into a bigoted rant about americans being crass or ignorant, I always remind myself that any country that came up with something as brilliant and witty as The Simpsons has got to have some endearing qualities.

Title: Re: Favourite Simpsons' Lines
Post by: Zebediah on February 03, 2007, 01:46:47 AM

Quote from: JungleCat03 on February 03, 2007, 01:43:48 AM

You are generally about to rant about southern republicans.
The states across the US are like the countries across europe, I found new yorkers very similar to us.
Apparantly Seattle is very leftie for eg (pretty sure Mitch said it was Seattle).

Title: Re: Favourite Simpsons' Lines
Post by: tikay on February 03, 2007, 01:47:41 AM

Quote from: JungleCat03 on February 03, 2007, 01:43:48 AM

Yes, you are so right. Ameicans, who don't "do" humour, come up with THE greatest fictional TV Prog ever.

Title: Re: Favourite Simpsons' Lines
Post by: Swordpoker on February 03, 2007, 01:53:14 AM

Quote from: tikay on February 03, 2007, 01:47:41 AM

Quote from: JungleCat03 on February 03, 2007, 01:43:48 AM

Yes, you are so right. Ameicans, who don't "do" humour, come up with THE greatest fictional TV Prog ever.

To be fair, it was AN American that came up with The Simpsons. There are always exceptions to the norm ;)

Title: Re: Favourite Simpsons' Lines
Post by: JungleCat03 on February 03, 2007, 02:03:45 AM

Quote from: tikay on February 03, 2007, 01:47:41 AM

Quote from: JungleCat03 on February 03, 2007, 01:43:48 AM

Yes, you are so right. Ameicans, who don't "do" humour, come up with THE greatest fictional TV Prog ever.

I think you're right there...

Visual comedy, cutting sarcasm, subtle cultural and political commentary, base humour, some very clever spoofs, one liners.....it's even got time for some genuinely touching moments. The simpsons really has it all!

Bart writing on blackboard at the start

My suspension was not "mutual"

Homer: I think Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills. Everyone says they have to work a lot harder when I'm around.

Title: Re: Favourite Simpsons' Lines
Post by: TightPaulFolds on February 03, 2007, 02:14:00 AM

Marge : There's a man here who says he can help you.
Homer : Is it Batman?
Marge : He's a scientist.
Homer : Batman's a scientist.
Marge : It's not Batman!

"'Bonjourrrrr, you cheese-eatin' surrender monkeys!" Groundsman Willie

Homer:

Marge, I'm going to miss you so much. And it's not just the sex! It's also the food preparation.

You couldn't fool your mother on the foolingest day of your life if you had an electrified fooling machine.

I saw this movie about a bus that had to SPEED around a city, keeping its SPEED over fifty, and if its SPEED dropped, it would explode! I think it was called "The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down."

I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me, Superman!

Apu (after being shot): Ah! the searing kiss of hot lead, how I missed you! I mean, I think I'm dying!

Comic Book Guy: Human contact, the final frontier

Lionel Hutz: Well, he's kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace "accidentally" with "repeatedly," and replace "dog" with "son."

Title: Re: Favourite Simpsons' Lines
Post by: snoopy1239 on February 03, 2007, 02:16:48 AM

Started on the Tracey Ulman show though, she's English isn't she? ;carlocitrone;

Title: Re: Favourite Simpsons' Lines
Post by: thetank on February 03, 2007, 02:32:28 AM

The voice actors do a tremendous job too, their comic timing has mucho to do with the shows success.

I like Milhouse's confession to Lisa that the report he did from Baghdad was all made up, it was actually from Basra.

Title: Re: Favourite Simpsons' Lines
Post by: ifm on February 03, 2007, 02:41:08 AM

Homer: When I first heard that Marge was joining the police academy, I thought it would be fun and zany, like that movie Spaceballs. But instead it was dark and disturbing. Like that movie -- Police Academy.

Title: Re: Favourite Simpsons' Lines
Post by: Tragic on February 03, 2007, 02:48:41 AM

Homer: If he's so smart, how come he's dead?

Homer: Driving over these wooden bridges is like driving through peoples houses.
Dude: That was my house you idiot!
Homer: (in a loud whisper) Oh i'm sorry, let's exchange insurance information, I have none.

In the Marijuana episode, homer rings the door bell:

Marge: Homer where have you been??
Homer: Woah, Marge, one question at a time!
*Runs inside*
Homer: WE HAVE A KITCHEN???!!

Title: Re: Favourite Simpsons' Lines
Post by: ifm on February 03, 2007, 02:49:05 AM

Quote from: JungleCat03 on February 03, 2007, 02:03:45 AM

Bart writing on blackboard at the start

My suspension was not "mutual"

Love the fact the opening sequence changes every episode, does my head in when i miss them.

Title: Re: Favourite Simpsons' Lines
Post by: ItsMrAlex2u on February 03, 2007, 07:59:57 AM

Job done

http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/The_Simpsons

Title: Re: Favourite Simpsons' Lines
Post by: KingPoker on February 03, 2007, 01:27:42 PM

I used to love the Simpsons, thought it was the funniest cartoon in the world but since discovering this new one i could never ever go back to laughing at the simpsons like i did.

FAMILY GUY IS THE FUNNIEST PROGRAMME EVER MADE. ABOUT 1000X BETTER THAN THE SIMPSON
(with American Dad) close behind. Seth MacFarlane is a genius!
the trouble with the simpsons is that in the end it is still meant for children- family guy is only shown after 9m! Adults only!

Title: Re: Favourite Simpsons' Lines
Post by: Royal Flush on February 03, 2007, 01:30:06 PM

Captain Lance Murdoch: It's always nice to see young people taking an interest in danger. Now, son, a lot of people are going to be telling you you're crazy, and maybe they're right. But I want to tell you three things. Bones heal. Chicks dig scars. And the United States of America has the best doctor to daredevil ratio in the world.

Title: Re: Favourite Simpsons' Lines
Post by: Ginger on February 03, 2007, 01:33:50 PM

Quote from: KingPoker on February 03, 2007, 01:27:42 PM

Have to agree, since being introduced to Family guy and American Dad it's taken the shine off the Simpsons, if you haven't tried it yet....what are you waiting for?!

Title: Re: Favourite Simpsons' Lines
Post by: KingPoker on February 03, 2007, 01:37:04 PM

Link to family guy episodes:-

http://cartoons.peekvid.com/s2473/

Title: Re: Favourite Simpsons' Lines
Post by: boldie on February 03, 2007, 04:23:52 PM

Homer to Bart "Remember Son, if a job's hard to do..it's not worth doing" (Classic)

Title: Re: Favourite Simpsons' Lines
Post by: ifm on February 03, 2007, 04:38:42 PM

Isn't Matt Groenig responsible for family guy and the other one?
Also futurama which i love.

Title: Re: Favourite Simpsons' Lines
Post by: KingPoker on February 03, 2007, 04:44:02 PM

He's responsible for futurame and simpsons.

Its seth macfarlane who created Family Guy and American Dad.

Title: Re: Favourite Simpsons' Lines
Post by: fidget on February 03, 2007, 04:44:49 PM

montgomery burns
"A spoonful of slurry will cure what ails you"

Title: Re: Favourite Simpsons' Lines
Post by: KingPoker on February 03, 2007, 05:01:16 PM

If you look at these links and dont find them funnier than the simpsons then there is summat seriously wrong with you!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iSL6co5xhu8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rdw8HnZs6XQ&mode=related&search=
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7JJg4rcKRPk&NR
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WJrvwRFi2Sg&mode=related&search=
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C4d7PUsFr2M

The 5th one is my favourite but the last link is my favourite!
F****** Brilliant!

Title: Re: Favourite Simpsons' Lines
Post by: sweet potata! on February 03, 2007, 05:24:43 PM

Quote from: KingPoker on February 03, 2007, 01:27:42 PM

SLANDEROUS !!!! , did u ever see the episode of southpark where they take the p of family guy ?? about the way its just different cut scenes , that have nothing to do with the actual plot

Title: Re: Favourite Simpsons' Lines
Post by: KingPoker on February 03, 2007, 05:28:31 PM

Thats exactly the point tho. Just how random and different it is. South park shouldnt take the piss out of anything. How that pile of sh*t gets on tv is anyones guess!

Title: Re: Favourite Simpsons' Lines
Post by: Djinn on February 03, 2007, 06:35:46 PM

Quote from: fidget on February 03, 2007, 04:44:49 PM

montgomery burns
"A spoonful of slurry will cure what ails you"

He's my favourite character, no doubt. I like his "See my vest" song to the tune of Beauty and the Beast's 'Be Our Guest' about all the non-PC animal clothes he has ("See my loafers, former gophers...")

And he talks like 1900s aristocrat: at the petrol station: "Fill her up with petroleum distillate. And re-vulcanise my tires!"

Title: Re: Favourite Simpsons' Lines
Post by: ariston on February 03, 2007, 06:53:14 PM

Never ever insult South Park, quite possible the funniest thing every made. Stone and Parker are 2 of the funniest guys alive and I can only imagine what their weekly dealers bill is while they write some of the stuff. Although the Simpsons is one of my favourite shows and I love Family Guy as well I defy anyone to watch Team America and not hurt themselves lauhing.

Title: Re: Favourite Simpsons' Lines
Post by: The Baron on February 03, 2007, 07:06:42 PM

Quote from: Djinn on February 03, 2007, 06:35:46 PM

Quote from: fidget on February 03, 2007, 04:44:49 PM

montgomery burns
"A spoonful of slurry will cure what ails you"

Yes Jen! Golden!

Title: Re: Favourite Simpsons' Lines
Post by: Royal Flush on February 03, 2007, 07:07:13 PM

Quote from: ariston on February 03, 2007, 06:53:14 PM

Hey Terrorist, terrorise this!

Title: Re: Favourite Simpsons' Lines
Post by: ariston on February 03, 2007, 07:09:01 PM

akalakalakakalaka

Title: Re: Favourite Simpsons' Lines
Post by: The Baron on February 03, 2007, 07:10:02 PM

Quote from: Royal Flush on February 03, 2007, 07:07:13 PM

Quote from: ariston on February 03, 2007, 06:53:14 PM

Hey Terrorist, terrorise this!

Durka durka!

Possibly the funniest film ever. Along with the opening 20 minutes of the South Park movie.

Title: Re: Favourite Simpsons' Lines
Post by: barhell on February 03, 2007, 07:12:00 PM

Quote from: The Baron on February 03, 2007, 07:10:02 PM

Quote from: Royal Flush on February 03, 2007, 07:07:13 PM

Quote from: ariston on February 03, 2007, 06:53:14 PM

Hey Terrorist, terrorise this!

Durka durka!

Possibly the funniest film ever. Along with the opening 20 minutes of the South Park movie.

Must agree that the south park movie just didn't work, to long so it just got tedious.
Team America was class.

Title: Re: Favourite Simpsons' Lines
Post by: Simon Galloway on February 03, 2007, 07:25:45 PM

The best gambling ones are:

1. "Hello Vegas ... gimme a hundred bucks on red ... Doh ! OK I'll send you a cheque"

2. Bart to Lisa: "you got the brains and talent to go as far as you want, no matter what anyone says. And when you do, I'll be right there to borrow money"

3. Moe (I thik?) has gone skint laying the Harlem Globetrotters.... "Awww c'mon, now they are using a freaking ladder."

Title: Re: Favourite Simpsons' Lines
Post by: mex on February 03, 2007, 09:42:55 PM

Ralf wiggum "me failing english? thats unpossible"

Have to agree this last season of the simpsons has been so poor, just rehashes of earlier episodes.

Family guy is funny in a different way, i like the fact that it doesn't have a morality check like on the simpsons
Peter generally doesn't give a crap. "oh crip he's a crapple'

Title: Re: Favourite Simpsons' Lines
Post by: KingPoker on February 03, 2007, 11:49:04 PM

Quote from: ariston on February 03, 2007, 06:53:14 PM

hey, lets go back to my office for the debriefing.....aaaannnddddd cocktails!

Title: Re: Favourite Simpsons' Lines
Post by: ariston on February 04, 2007, 12:40:24 AM

Think the only thing as funny as Team America was Borat this year. That was another one that genuinely had me laughing all the way throughout.

Title: Re: Favourite Simpsons' Lines
Post by: temp0r on February 04, 2007, 05:03:39 AM

Nuclear Regulatory Commission agent: I'm still not sure how he caused the meltdown. There wasn't any nuclear material in the truck!!
Mr. Burns: Oh, very well, it's time for your bribe. Now, you can either have the washer and dryer where the lovely Smithers is standing, or you can trade it all in for what's in this box.
Nuclear Regulatory Commission agent: The box! The box!

Title: Re: Favourite Simpsons' Lines
Post by: TightPaulFolds on February 04, 2007, 03:50:36 PM

roflmao

i'm torn between simpsons and Family guy, some of the latter is hilarious.
Never got south park really

Title: Re: Favourite Simpsons' Lines
Post by: Spencer on February 06, 2007, 02:39:54 PM

Homer "no tv and no beer make Homer something something"
Marge "go crazy"
Homer "dont mind if i do.. rarrarraablibliablababli...blehblooblehblooblehbloo..hamamama.."

Title: Re: Favourite Simpsons' Lines
Post by: mex on February 07, 2007, 12:17:35 AM

Kodos the alien 'Your vast intellect is no match for our puny weapons'

Title: Re: Favourite Simpsons' Lines
Post by: JungleCat03 on February 07, 2007, 02:16:10 AM

Kang [running for President]: Abortions for all! [crowd boos]

Very well, Abortions for none! [crowd boos]

Abortions for some, miniature American flags for the others! [crowd cheers]

Title: Re: Favourite Simpsons' Lines
Post by: matt674 on February 07, 2007, 10:43:29 AM

Quote from: Simon Galloway on February 03, 2007, 07:25:45 PM

3. Moe (I thik?) has gone skint laying the Harlem Globetrotters.... "Awww c'mon, now they are using a freaking ladder."

Krusty the clown trying to get out of a hole with his gambling debt to "the mob"

Title: Re: Favourite Simpsons' Lines
Post by: 77dave on February 07, 2007, 12:58:23 PM

Bart walks into the $ shop

picks up a niknak asks the shop lady "how much is this?

lady replies a dollar

bart picks up another item and asks how much she replies a dollar bart picks up 10 more items and asks each time how much

finally the lady has had enough and shouts at bart its the dollar store everything costs a dollar

bart puts $1 on the side and picks up as much as he can and walks out