blonde poker forum

On Wednesday night I was invited by a mate to play poker in a pub in Battersea. Low stakes stuff (Dealer's Choice, £20 buy-in, 10p/20p blinds). As I was due to be in London on Thursday morning for a meeting anyway, I thought 'why not?' and travelled down.

Upon arriving at the pub, we're taken upstairs to a function room where me, my mate, and 2 of his mates from the London Poker Group, sit down at the empty table.

The seating was thus:
1. Me
2. Rob
3. Jonnell
4. Chriss
5. Mateyboy1
6. Mateyboy2

The first four hands are chosen to be Hold'em, and I'm up to £35. Hand 5 and it's Mateyboy1's turn to deal and he chooses 5-Card Draw.

I get dealt:  Kc Kh Ks  4c 2d

Mateyboy2 who has been knocking back the whisky at a rate of knots, shouts over "oy! barmaid, another double whisky"... Whilst saying this he leans back in his chair, but holds his hand with the cards in towards the table, meaning I see 3 of the cards in his hand.

They are:  Js Jh Jd

The betting round takes place, with mateyboy2 betting £2, me raising to £8 and everyone on the table calling.

Mateyboy2 decides to change two cards (keeping the trip jacks I assume). I change 2 cards and get dealt:  Kd Aspades

Mmmmmm.. Quads, nice :)

The other 4 players change 1 or 2 cards each. The the next round of betting starts.
Mateyboy2 checks. I check my Quads. Rob to my left chucks in £10. Jonnell calls him. Chris folds, and Mateyboy1 folds.

Mateyboy2 calls. I raise to £20, Chris says "all-in", Jonnell says "call", Mateyboy 2 says "call", and I say "all-in" (I have everyone but Mateyboy2 covered by about a tenner). Mateyboy 2 dwells for a while, then calls.

Now comes the showdown.

Rob:  Ac Qc Jc Tc 9c
Jonnell:  8c 8d 8h 9h 9d
Me:  Kc Kh Ks Kd Aspades
Mateyboy2:  8s 9s Ts Js Qs

WTF?!

I then say to Mateyboy2 "that can't be possible. I saw your hand pre-flop and you held 3 Jacks, and only changed two cards. You can't end up from that with a straight flush..."

Mateyboy2 replies "are you accusing me of cheating?"

I say "Yes, I guess I am."

However, then Rob says to me "it actually is possible if he was holding, say, 9s Ts Js Jh Jd and decided to chuck Jh Jd".

No matter how unlikely I imagine that scenario to be, I have to concede that it is possible that is what has just happened, and apologise to Mateyboy for calling him a cheat!!

He says "f*** this. I'm not playing with someone who accuses me of cheating. I'm leaving." With that he storms out the room. The guy running the poker night then comes over and collects all Mateyboys chips off the table for him so he can cash in.

Mateyboy1 then gets up and says "I'm leaving too", leaving 4 of us at the table, stunned at what we've just witnessed.

It reminded me a lot of the scene in the film Croupier, when each player round the table has a better hand than the player before . e.g Pair > Two Pairs > Trips > Straight > Flush > Full House > Straight Flush.

Was I had? Or was I (and the 3 other losers) just very unlucky?

What are the odds of a 6 player table with 4 players holding: Flush, Full House, Quads, Straight Flush?

edit: realised I had the two mateyboy's the wrong way round
edit2: had listed the King of Clubs twice...

That sounds like something out of a film - definitely not a freak coincidence is it?

I'm sure someone will give you the odds of you have KKK and him JJJ, and you drawing quads whilst he throws away two cards from his set in the hope he draws two exact cards for his str8 flush.

Where did mateyboy 1 & 2 come from? 

london pub you say ?
upstairs room you say ?
unlicensed premises you say ?
dodgy geezers you say ?
drunk stooge  you say ?

what bit of this are you surprised about ?
the only surprise is that you only got skanked for 30 quid.

Mateyboy1 sounded scottish, though I don't know where he was from. Don't know where Mateyboy2 was from either. We only played 5 hands together, so there wasn't much time for small talk...

Was it 'their' game?

Lol, good point :) I don't make a habit of playing poker in pubs. This was a one-off due to having to be in London for a business meeting anyway.

sounds like it.

 rotflmfao rotflmfao

No, the game was run by another guy (the guy who collected all the chips from the table at the end). I forget his name. There were 2 other full tables playing too. The two guys who joined our table walked in and sat down straight after we had sat down.

I think the fact that there were 2 Kc in the pack would be a clue that things weren't kosher.......

Doh, I couldn't remember the exact hands of Rob and Jonnell, but knew that Rob either had a King or Ace high flush (not sure which suit), and Jonnell had a full house with both cards not being picture cards.

Have edited my post above. I also remember that Rob told me he was drawing to an open ended straight flush, and took just 1 card.

lol, how bad is that.

Ace high flush, full boat, and quads against a straight flush at 5 card draw.

You got proper fiddled.

I would have been giggling like a schoolgirl at his indignance at the cheating accusation. Then the concession that he may not have been and the apology, I wouldn't have been able to stop myself laughing. This is why no-one takes me round the pubs in Battersea, I'd get everyone stabbed.

 ;tightend; for saying "Skanked"

I haven't heard that one for ages...:D

lol, definitely skanked mate.

If it happened on the internet and someone said rigged i would post up something about random number generators being audited, but live there's no doubt this was fixed as this s**t doesn't happen live unless the game is bent or they're filming rounders II.

Like Laz said though, at least you got out pretty cheap!

Sounds like Sofa King was dealing.  Seriously good card tricks from the Big fella.

yeah I would ask him to teach me how to deal like that..he could keep my 30£

Sofa showed us one trick.  Told me to pick any hand.  So I went for a full house, eights over sevens.  He pulls out the cards, places them in the pack at random positions, shuffles the cards, has others cut them, etc.

Then deals the cards to 5 of us, retrieves all the cards as a 'mis-deal' (I'm sure this is when it 'happens') and then after a quick shuffle deals them out again.  His hand?  88877.  Very clever.

I bet he wishes it was self-dealt at the weekend.  888KK v KKK88 was a nasty one - especially with the K coming on the river!

Browsing the internet just now, I found a couple of pics of the very guys who sat at my table!!

Mateyboy1:
(http://www.bbc.co.uk/bbcthree/images/programmes/real_hustle/paul.jpg)

Mateyboy2:
(http://www.bbc.co.uk/bbcthree/images/programmes/real_hustle/alexis.jpg)

So which pub was this?  I live fairly near Battersea.

 i was going to say it could have been the guys from The Real Hustle

 they done this trick with The Boatmans , Ross got AA , the hustler had QQ

 A Q 2 flop , money goes in , river Q

 but the key is , in that particular Hustle he ordered a drink , and as the girl gave him his drink she passed him the fiddled deck

 either you know who they are and your making this up , or the TV guys have been a bit naughty

No, it's neither of those...
The story above is a true story - though, not the whole story. I wanted to see what people thought of the hand distribution before I revealed 'The Prestige'... which is....

After Mateyboy stormed off, and we are sat discussing how we'd been skanked, a bloke comes up to us and says "Can you 4 come round the corner for a second?"

We walk round the corner, and find 3 TV cameras pointing at us. "You've just been on The Real Hustle" they say.

"Wooahhhh!" we say, "Awesome" etc. It's going to be shown on BBC3 in April apparently.

They did film 2 versions of the scam. One with another group directly before us. They apparently didn't accuse the shill of cheating and suspected nothing was amiss(!), whereas I did suspect and accuse. I'm not sure which version they will show - hopefully both, though they may edit out my cheating comment, so that it looks like we were unaware we were scammed.

Who knows? I did say in the interview at the end that I fell for the scam "hook, line and sinker". Not sure why I said that? Perhpas that fact it was filmed in a bar with a tab (that they ended up picking up) had something to do with it ;)

Mango, you can come to my Home Game any time you want......Bring plenty of money, eh?

lol, thanks tikay ;)

To answer the earlier "what pub?" question. It was a pub called S2 just off Battersea Bridge.

They don't normally host poker games there, as that would probably be a bit illegal ;)

The whole thing was set up for the sake of The Real Hustle.

They showed us the location of the hidden cameras after the filming. 3 were in speakers around the edges of the room we were in, and one stuck to the ceiling next to the fan. The ceiling camera wasn't exactly subtle, though I didn't look at he ceiling at any point in the 5 hands. Sometimes when I'm thinking to call or fold, I look up to the heavens. Good job for them, I didn't this time ;)

At the end of the game, the other two tables (that were full of players) stood up and did a round of applause. They were all actors hired for the occasion, as was the barmaid. Sneaky eh?

hmmm a program like that?...they'll show the unsuspecting punter every time.

will get this in quick before the missus signs up- the bird off it has done some very "interesting" pictures in the past. Simply google Jessica Jane Clement.

Aye, I checked The Real Hustle website afterwards. American Playboy apparently :)

She wasn't at this scam unfortunately.

never heard of her..she looks like your average page3 totty though.

she's the eye candy distraction on the real hustle.

ive seen this done many times been involved in the games ( playing ) a few times, i went threw it once with one of the dealers they showed me how they did it and how to spot it,

the first trick is they ask for a change of cards with the button in the spot they require i.e there friend in the small blind, with the cards allready in order they bring them to the table shemmy them and cut them, of cause both times leaveing the top 20-25 cards in situ u have to watch carefully, and they get the table to cut them and cut them back again before they deal,

the 2nd one is well known nowadays the dealer deals the cards as normal, finds an ace and after that its easy the ace just gets put on the top or bottom of the pack and shemmy'd and shuffled and cut to the top,

there was 3-4 pepole in my local got life time bans after months of us telling the management what was going on how it was going on and who was doing it, but it still took them months to catch them

i.e if u ever play private games away from house delt games, the button should allways cut the cards, and the cards when changed should be display'd in order on the table before the game starts and watch the pack 1 trick is when they pick them up to they face towards or away from the dealer if they are towards they are normally sorting the top cards into an order

Sounds like a hand from one of the following books (can't remember which one but I'd guess at the latter) 'Swimming with the Devilfish', 'Total Poker, David Spanier'.

Bumpage.. This episode is going to be shown tomorrow night (Thursday 29th March) at 10.30pm on BBC3.

If they show my bit uncut it should be pretty funny ;)

Why - do people think you're Jewish?

lol :D :D :D

Didn't you even consider the possibility that he had you beat? Royal Flushes are uncommon but not impossible.  ;scarymoment; :dontask:

Andrew,

You are going to be the death of me. Sides are splitting.

Geo

Take a look higher up in the thread, where it says the guy showed me his 3 Jacks, and I ended up with 4 Kings.

If he'd beaten me with a Royal Flush I'd have probably punched him, not least because this would have meant 5 kings were in the deck! ;)

;)
I'm surprised they went to all that trouble for so little money!
ps. saw 'The Real Con' for the first time last week, well impressed.

watched this, quite funny....

one thing though - they said that matey boy left the table with £1500 ???

TV Star or not, he wouldnt have been playing much poker with broken fingers.

not the big guy though, i have heard about him - he is well scary...trust me...

Just watched it, your face was classic Matt  rotflmfao

 rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao


This program is the biggest load of shit ever!

I've got pals that have put a lot of time and effort into fraud, these pricks just degrade the proffession.

Will they repeat this??

Every other week, on every other shit cable channel for the next ten years untill the programs: "bruno brooks on benefit fraud" and "the hamiltons go busking" are made to replace it.

LOL :D

Hi Suzanne. Long time no see - see you at BB4 hopefully :)

Got to say I thoroughly enjoyed being on that programme, and was happy they showed our group get hustled rather than the group before or after us (they film each scam 2 or 3 times and show the best results apparently).

Funny that they said the pot was £1200+ when infact we'd all bought in for £20 max each lol (the pot was actually around £120) :D Don't believe all you see on TV I guess! :)

boltpp - it's mainstream popular entertainment (obv.), but the guys really are very talented at what they do. Okay, the hustle they did on us was a tad obvious, but the deck stacking, switching, and subsequent shuffling without messing up the previous stacking was all top class I'd say. The only thing that made it obvious to me that it was fixed was that the hand distribution made the PokerStars river card look random (joke ;))... That and the bloke too obviously showed me his trip Jacks - as in almost nudged me to make sure I saw his hand...

Blast missed it. I actually think I caught a bit of this show where a guy scams a free meal by tricking someone at the next table.
Let me know when on again as would love to see the poker con.

 :D :D


 4h  Kh Nutzzzz

Aye, that was the one. It's repeated about 4 times in the week, so no excuse to miss it lol ;)

:D  I guess it would look a bit crap, if they had told the truth and acted like highwaymen outside over the price of a dinner for two without wine ;)

I saw it and found it funny, I loved the way you backed down and quickly admitted it was possible he swapped 2 jacks :D 

Lol, I thought he was going to deck me, and I didn't fancy it over a £120 pot. I didn't back down half as quickly as it looked like I did on the telly though - there is quite a bit cut out there - timing reasons maybe (?)

They nearly always stitch you up on these shows.

When I got done on balls of steel, they tried to make me look like a skirt chasing alcoholic chain smoker.

Like I say they nearly always stitch you up.  ;whistle;

Didn't know you were on Balls of Steel.
I did a pilot show for Balls of Steel with Alex Zane, just glad it was never shown.  ::)

If they didn't show it it's probably because you didn't make too  much of a tit of yourself so well done !

The one time you were probably glad not to make a tv appearance  ;applause;

You were still robbed of a guaranteed shag, major slowroll.

What character got you?  Is there a clip?   I love BOS, well worth looking at the 'annoying devil' clips on youtube....

You can see it on 4 on demand but i haven't managed to find it on youtube (grrrr)

He got done in the man trap, most amusing.

Trapped by a man?  ;whistle;

Mine was a false game show, trouble was I just laughed through it and they really wanted a grumpy reaction.

What's the link to watch this? I don't know where to find 4 on Demand... Is there a torrent for this instead?.. Thanks.

Mine wasn't shown, but would love to see the Jungle cat one./ someone must know how to torrent it (what ever that means)?

For those that missed it and wanted to see it, my episode is repeated tonight at 8.30pm on BBC3...

I seem to be laughing my head off throughout the whole scam (couldn't take it seriously at all, and was pretty drunk lol), and also pulled loads of strange faces lol.

Superb tv ready and waiting.

Classic.
 rotflmfao

i did think afterwards as to whether the showing the Jacks made much difference with
 Kd Kc Kh Ks Ac
Wouldn't you have called any bet? Just seemed an over elaborate way of doing it.  :dontask:

It appears to me that most television is not actually what it seems.

My missus was sitting watching some guff about selling houses abroad (I think it was on after the program about buying houses abroad), and it showed all these "couples" who were prospective buyers, My attention was drawn to one guy who looked familair, and my brain started working overtime - and then I remembered seeing him on an episode of "come dine with me" (C4), in which he had claimed to be gay, not 12 months ago - yet here he was arm in arm with his wife thinking about buying some italian farmhouse.

its obvious he was an actor of some sort, and the whole program was a scam.....

Aye, I'd call any bet there. Him changing 2 cards means he'd have to have got an approximate 1500-1 shot of hitting the two he needed to get that straight flush..  Though I obviously thought at the time he had one of three hands: Trip Jacks, Jacks Full, or Quad Jacks.

I also thought giving me KKKK with an Ace kicker was silly lol. If they had to give me 4 Kings, then why not give me a 2 or 3 kicker. It's not like I'm not going to call whatever the bet is...

Perhaps the KKKK with an Ace kicker was a back up in-case I didn't see him flash his Jacks at me. That way I know the only hand that can possibly beat me is the runner, runner straight flush (i.e. I can't put him on quad Aces)....

This is it.

YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Xk5ZbAPzNY

Its not 'most' television....its 'ALL' television.

I worked for the company that produced 'this is your life', among other programs....it always made me laugh how 'suprised' they look when they got approached with the 'red book'......even though I had seem them in the staff canteen a week or two previous having their ego's stroked ny the producers....lol

A mate of mine was aksed to go on property ladder as an estate agent...his girlfriend was asked to pose as a 'potential buyer'.... ::) - i think the only thing non-fake about that program is sarah beenies ****

thats quite a memory you've got there if you can remember the sexuality of actors appearing in crappy documentaries over a 12 month period ;)

My favourite is super nanny, where they get the kids to misbehave for the cameras by promising them ice cream, and then snatching it away at the last moment.

Hey Tony, after watching you in the Omaha side game on Weds night at DTD, can I come please, pretty please lol

lol, I bumped into Compo who told me he'd seen this on the forums. Wonder who'd bumped it...

btw, the clip posted above is really out of sync for some reason. I uploaded my copy to youtube a while ago (which is perfectly in sync)...

YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7isa-VcsDDI

Edit: Damn, I used to code HTML for a living lol, and I can't work out these youtube tags!

Edit again: Aha, sorted :)

lol brilliant!