blonde poker forum

right the football pitch and the referee are booked.
the address is below and is approx 5 min drive from the casino and the days inn hotel and right next to the premier travel inn.

vauxhall recreation club
gypsy lane
luton

we will be playing on prozone 1 pitch which is right at the front and can be seen from the car park.

all 3 teams to be there for 11am sharp

11.15am  sheep shaggers v northern monkeys

11.35am  southern softies v northern monkeys

11.55am sheep shaggers v southern softies

12.15pm northern monkeys v sheep shaggers

12.35pm northern monkeys v southern softies

12.55pm southern softies v sheep shaggers

football concludes by 1.15pm plenty time to wash/shower before casino opens at 2pm. full changing room/showers and bar facilities available.

all matches 18 minutes a time with no half time.
3 points for a win 1 for a draw and 0 for a defeat.

southerners to wear green/gold
northerners to wear white or blue depends what they decide
welsh to wear red

cost is £36 per team to be paid to me by team captain prior to the tournament beginning. team captains are liable to this amount if theres a no show by his team.

cost includes pitch hire, referee and balls.

match rules

NO BOOTS of any sort moulded/studs or blades.trainers, astro trainers or carpet slippers only please

no slide tackles
each team will consist of 6 players on the pitch at a time and must include one goalkeeper
goalkeepers must remain in there areas at all times
no players to enter the area.
a player entering his own area conceeds a penalty.
a player entering his opponents area conceeds possession to the opposing goalkeeper.
the ball is allowed over head height.
goalkeepers must not kick the ball out of the area they must throw the ball out underarm, if  its deemed he hasnt by the referee then its a retake.
substitutes can roll on and roll off the pitch at any time during the game but the ball must be dead when this happens.

please all play the game in the spirit it is meant, please not another walsall im getting to old lol.

the referees decision is final in all matters!

GAME ON!

Ship it to the softies

Good work fella!

nice one belly.

I'll be there for the legs ;)

How did you know my nickname?

Psychic.

Norrrrrrrrr.

No breaks, unlike the other teams, we'll hhave to use our squad to the fullest.

And Blue?? All i have is Leeds and England shirts, all of which are White, Red or Yellow. So sick. Ill have to buy like a Rangers shirt or summat.

But, im only messing, looks good, thanks for organising it ITB. Should be great fun.

Our skipper ChipRich to collect int he £36.

FYP.

You get as many breaks as every other team... Stop making excuses already!

Just had a look on routeplanner and aa website and there isn't a gypsy lane in luton...apparently?

I really think im guna pay the £36 quid!

We dont need breaks Brent, we'll win easssssy!

i think you will find the southern softies dont get a break between matches either.

the draw favoured the sheep shaggers but lets be honest they need it !  rotflmfao

yes there is........

match rules added to the original post.

any questions regards riules here please

can i play?

 :redcard:

how did vegas go did you get red carded when you tried the poker?

Went Great, I managed to play in one casino so just stuck to that one if i wanted a game. Didnt play much poker at all tbh!

Not too happy about the rule on playing the game in the spirit that is meant!

Either means im gong to have to play nice or im going to have to start practising diving like the pros!

Cant wait to play, been a year since i last played with a round ball, well ones that arent connected to my body anyway.

no

your not nice

i bet your just scared of getting beat

kick out the scott cause he is too good

Try Gipsy Lane with an 'i' not a 'y'.

Is it just a round robin league then, and whoever tops the league at the end wins?

Makes the last match a 2nd/3rd play-off then doesn't it... ;whistle;

That'll get you a break alright!!! >:(

zomg. Better make it Birmingham then. Saw some old shirts for £7 in sports soccer yest.

No Brum shirts or Rangers shirts in the Northern team please.

We don't want to look daft.  Well, more daft than usual.

Everton it is then

If you want a fight... ;nemesis;

Blue Real Madrid shirt ok?

Yeah, fine. As long as you don't spend all day in front of the mirror and actually bother playing.

Why would i do that?!?

Like all the Galaticos like Beckham and Raul, Guti, Sergio Ramos do obv.

Ohhh i see

Nah i wont be doing that, ill just be running circles round everyone like Robinho :D

Careful no-one decides they're Gravesen ;)

Gotta catch me first

Ive got a blue everton shirt of you want it, also got the away strip this season, like the grey!

thought was with a Y but i may be wrong.

will call them over the weekend and find out the postcode itl b easier for everyone.

no cos u aint got a team cos all the rest of the jocks are pussies!

everyone happy with the rules?

substitution in the southern softies team due to smithys non attendance at the bash nolyitb will take his place

again, pieces of the conspiracy theory are coming together

You got no problems there... NolyITB is ginger and doesnt look like a footballer.

dont u think if he was any good he d of been in the squad to start with lol

Thats exactly what i mean, you are infiltrating other teams to sabotage their chances, oh well as long as its not my team lol!

Edit- and yes very happy with rules, great job organising everything!  ;applause;

ANNOUNCEMENT!

Tikay has dropped out of the football sadly. But, don't fear, for team England Southern Softies will go on. We have looked at the transfer market - And found a bargain, at the cost of only 2 pies..................



Please note, he would like to make it clear that he is a member of the Squad, not necessarily the Team!

i hear hes a penalty specialist !

Does the venue have WiFi?  ;hide;

Kev!

rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao

does the 5 aside have wifi so i can keep an eye on the first 20/20 games

I am like a kicker in American footy, bring me on for pens and free kicks .... especially against the mining monkeys ... sod the goal, im aiming for their nuts !!!

johny gould not playing? i heard he was a scottish international and played for a small team called celtic

team shirts were collected today for team england southern softies.

we will be wearing green and gold as opposed to white so if england north want to wear white thats fine by me.

Excellent.  We're in white. :)up

Nah, we'll be ok in Blue now thanks.

Having attempted to play five a side last night, I would just like to apologize in advance for all my bad mistimed tackles this coming Saturday.
It will be nothing personal just my ageing body attempting a tackle I would have made easily a few years ago.
I will even be kind enough to assist you off the floor after I have clattered you.

Best of luck to you if you clatter into Kev and try and assit him off the floor...

AH, forgot he was playing, shall have to get my teammates to assist if the fat lad starts rolling around as by backs not that strong, he'll probably give me another hernia.

Bugger there's a referee.

Whats the astroturf like? Is it waterbased? Or will a sliding tackle result in a lack of skin on my leg?

its quite a good surface but that reminds me i need to add a rule no slide tackles!

you wont be on your own though mate with the late tackles ive haardly kicked a ball since bb3

 :o :o :o :o :o

Are we allowed to kick the ball?  :dontask:

i knew there was a rule he forgot to tell you

only the southern softies can kick the ball

but seeing as 90% of them are in there first flush of youth and play for premiership youth teams in there past you guys have been iveyed

 :o :o :o

You wont get to have the ball long enough to kick it mug ... best bring your own ball if you have a desire to actually kick one.

Can we not go the opposite way and enforce a rule stating each player must perform at least 10 slide tackles a match.

rotflmfao

At least I'll be able to see the ball when it's at my feet!!

 rotflmfao

With my eyes, I can see the fkin thing wherever it is and whatever way im facing !!!

Just had Glenn Roeder on the phone asking after you.  He needs someone to play alongside Bramble...

LOL we would make a great pairing, I can see everything and he cant see naff all !!!!

Is it Astroturf or synthetic grass?

Wouldn't mind knowing this either

Only have blades anyway,your allowed to use them on both at most places, just wondered if this place doesn't allow them or anything?

thanx

Just read further down, Its Astro right

Blades ok?

synthetic grass i think

blades mite not be a good idea, just in case id bring astros or trainers

why thank you ironside stating that tighty lightbreeze and myself along with kev are in our first flush of youth

blades prob not... just astro trainers would do...

Played on synthetic grass plenty of times with blades, they not allowed there? u sure?

didnt say they not allowed just bring other footwear just in case.

not played there for a while and cant really remember.

look which team has got the proffesionals ironside lol

Ohh ok, i see.

I know what u meant, cheers. Just wondered if anyone actually knew or not. Ill see what i can do

Pros....where?? lol

only 2 of the southerners squad play footie on a weekly basis, 1 11 aside 1 five aside. the rest of us have not kicked a ball in anger since bb3

About 0 of our team do, Kin and Jones probably cant even kick a ball

I Used to play everyday, 2 to 3 times a day, havent played for 2 years though, pretty crushing!

blades/moulds wont be a problem on synthetic grass. ill be wearing moulds

lol, what happened at Walsall

Who has to kick the ball?  I'll be kicking other players...and not just the opposition.

;D

It got a tad tasty when the walsall dealers trotted out all kitted up like pros .... safe to say there were a few tackles flying in and it all got a bit competitive ....fkin good to watch though ;)

long story mate, lets ust say one team took it rather more serious than the other two and a couple of the matches became very competative and extremely heated and at times down right filthy  rotflmfao

 rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao


I like Kev's version best

oh and i got sent off

so do i lol. its prob more accurate!

easy for him he werent playing in it and have to deal with it !

of course we still came out on top  ;D

right please see opening thread with updated info on footwear etc.

due to a pm sent to me which i agree with i have decided that in the interest of safety only trainers, astro trainers or carpet slippers can be worn to play in.

NO BOOTS of any sort moulded/studs or blades.

please could all captain inform their players of this decision

thanks

Im sure its going to go just fine mate, you have done a great job organising it so thanks for that.

there will be a beer at the bar waiting for you. as long as you dont beat us

thats saves u the price of a beer dan

i am telling you they have 2 players that are still on the books of a league side and one player who although 40+ was on the books of a priemship side

you guys have been iveyed

tell me more mate.

 rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao

kev what premiership side were u with??

ignore him dan hes in cloud cuckoo land.

stirring it up cos the rest of his jock compatriats were slaughtered 26-5 at bb2 on there home turf. 26-5 doesnt mean we are good, stevie wonder woulda beat the shower scotland put out that day single handedly!

iron give it a rest, theres a few hills in luton im gonna push you down otherwise ! :D

"...ARE YOU BRAMBLE IN DISGUISE?  ARE YOU BRAMBLE IN DISGUISE?"

Ah well who cares we have got our captain Kingpoker. Hes the best footballer to come out of Wales for 50 years.

Saying that I havent seen him on here for a few days, I hope the Itb crew havent kidnapped him.

I had more fun playing in it than you did watching!! :D

Moulds are designed for this sort of surface. Moulds are also in no way dangerous either. Blades i agree with as  the soles are made from plastic. Moulds are made from rubber, which is the same stuff they use in synthetic grass.

This is what ill be wearing, harmless....

You were the 1 clattering into my bollocks!

Exactly why i had more fun! That was a brilliant challenge! :D

a member of your team pm'ed me with reservations about boots. i agreed with him that its best no boots at all.

surely you've got trainers or carpet slippers u can wear???

whos the softie?

Must be a Southerner? Ill exclude Ben, that means Chippe i think. Pffffft.

i got trainers, but they designed for running..play in them and ill fuck my ankles up.

ill bring them on the day, if its too much of a prob i wont bother playing, not like im going to being doing any jackie chan tackles on anyone! lol

Is that an all in declaration?? Coz i dont think blackmail can be used to make someone fold.

put yer dummy back in! apparently your the northerners best player so please dont drop out as dont want them having any excuses.

moulds were not designed for that surface they designed for hard summer grass. moulds were invented long before astroturf and artificial grass....nice try. astro trainers were designed for artificial surfaces.

come on horneris sort your players out! (by the way it was kinboshi lol)

i duno rooks i bet u could get tighty to fold at the mo with a little blackmail  rotflmfao

Kin yer such a Girl!!!!!

Ben has a bit of a right to complain because on that surface you can always wear that sort of boot, but if theyr not allowed, theyr not allowed, he should just play in trainers.

Appreciate your organisation of it, so dont wana be a cock about it.

we can check with the venue on the day if they say u can wear em its fine by me.if they say no then you cannot.

its suppose to be a friendly game guys, well as friendly as can be! just dont want anyone injured.


i smell another walsall on the horizon... rotflmfao

nah, tis just banter. Everyone will get along fine, lol.

I assume the slide tackle rule dosent apply when referring to pie eating goalkeepers?

I came out of walsall with a 4th leg and a broken toe, and we still won! lol.. I hope it doesnt turn into that again..

kevs on pitch our keeper is tighty and although a little robust hes not in kevs league at pie eating.!

2

you were as much to blame as any of em  rotflmfao

you tried playing football with trainers on a arti-pitch? babmbi on ice would have more stability than me lol.

Dummy no, genuine concern for my ankles yes!

the rubber studs are approxiamately 1/2 centimetre longer than those of a pair of astroturfs. Mine have word down a fair bit so theres probably millimetres between the difference :)

god i cant wait to put several hatricks past you belly brothers and Kivin

Ankles, yawn...

And yes have played with trainers on that surface and perfectly fine. Ankles in tact.

 rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao

Was it 6/5 you had us at?

You wont be yawning when im lying on the ground having torn my ankle ligaments.

add 3 more goals to the list

lol itl be funny seeing a fat guy scoreso many goals against your team lol

tbf i probably would be yawning ....

yep lol kevs a free kick and penalty specialist.

but you got to get past me first, and i wont let that happen. apologies for how one-sided this tournament will be. GG

you may live to regret that comment..unless you were joking

yep unlucky.. least you can say you turned up and tried to stop us.

chilavert?

I yawn alot, what can i say..

one man dont make a team im afraid, and as good as you may be you have alot of duffers alongside you.


just watch and learn as the fat guy comes on scores then subs himself off again lol

You? Shieldsy? Kev? Or Lightbreeze?

the boys will do good. Im paying them goal and assist fees

yep a team of fatties how embaressings it gona be for the northerners lol

2 days to buy some shinpads rookie

better leave your wallet at the hotel you wont need it we have the cat in goal

Am i buying them for you? Dont you want ankle pads too?

make that cricket pads and a hockey vest

hmmm. Richard and Ben (Sunday) are amazing , me and LeKnave are very average, unsure about the others.

Looking forward to my pass and assist bonuses tho

only if we lift the cup horny

why do i need these?

[/quote]
yep a team of fatties how embaressings it gona be for the northerners lol
[/quote]

Tbf, im carrying a lot of excess weight after a year of playing poker and never moving, and ChipRich isnt as slim as he used to be.

2 days. that is all. gg.

side note - nevermind

yawn.

I lost 2 toenails, and all respect i had left....

It was just a suggestion about the boots thing.  I'm happy to go with the majority.  I can do as much damage in bare feet as I can in boots, so whatever.  If it's an artificial pitch that can take a stud, then they're OK.  If it's a normal astro pitch then they certainly aren't made to take a stud (in fact many places ban them as they deck the surface and it needs relaying years before it was meant to) - hence the creation of astro trainers.

As to if I'm any good?  No, but I can run a lot.  I'll be better than Horneris though.  I know this, because I'm just better than him.

Obviously no-one can weat studs on it, we were just wondering about moulds and plastic blades.

Ill bring both anyway

Horneris has a good shot on him to be fair, anyway we shudnt be comparing each other within our own teams

All we need to think about is how easy its guna be to get past their defence...if thats what you can call it,lol!

first off all tighty usd to play in goal for a preimiership outfit plus the fact if lies on his side he fills the goal how do you gu expect to score?

ben calm down if you get yourself injuried before the HU you will be in the crapper

Included in what I said about destroying standard astro-turf.

Ohh ok, fair do's, didnt know if you meant boots with proper metal studs

We'll pwn in whatever we wear though, cant wait, should be good

I cant run for shit, but hey!

You can be our Jan Molby then.  I'll be our Lilly Savage...

moulds dont destroy astroturf. Blades will, moulds are designed for hard surfaces.

Jan Molby!

Ill be running round more than him to be fair, playing the free roll hopefully

Moulds might be designed for hard surfaces, but many astro-turf pitches aren't designed to be played on with moulds.  There are a lot that are, but you'll be surprised how many are not intended for use with them.

That wasn't my point originally anyway - and it was only a suggestion.  If you'll play better in them, go ahead!  Just make sure you kick Rookie with them...

sooooooooooo looking forward to the footy :)

FYP

LOL

Look at all the pros debating about which footwear to use.

I just got an old pair of trainers out the cupboard and put them in my bag. Are they moulded, are they blades, are they F*%k they havent even got a grip on the bottom.

moulded or blades kev??

Im going for hob nailed mate ...... did you know Saturday is the official "twat a Miner" day ?

By the way, i aint even packed any shorts or tracky bottoms, so i will be coming on in me jeans and me hob nails .... fk all this pansy footwear and worrying about my ligaments or ankles .... these kids have been watching the overpaid nancy boys on match of the day too often. ;)

thats more like it.


Ur gonna get so creamed kev, im 85% sure u wont make it to the tourny @ 4pm.

im 100% sure tbf

Shinpads are for girls.

What are they?

Got your lovely pink set ready for the weekend then?

How did he know about them Brent?

No idea, i was planning on hiding them under my socks.

Haha, i think Kin wants a pair

Hes so jealous

As stated above.  I won't be wearing any. 

ok you 3 and kingpoker get a room

obv didnt look above Kin, sorry

Me neither

You want some, don't ya.... :-*

not if you were the last person left alive in the world and i had lost the use of my arms

Playing hard to get sweetie?

;D

what did i do???  :dontask: