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I’m not much of a one for fancy restaurants, I can’t afford them, but now and then over the years, even I have enjoyed some excellent meals amid some remarkable surroundings.
I wouldn’t want to give you the impression that these meals are part of some glamorous or exotic life style; nothing could be further from the truth. Almost everything I do is done on a shoestring budget, but I will admit to being extraordinarily lucky to find myself in the right place at the right time.

I once had kofta, (a kind of kebab) with fresh salad and an enormous pot of proper English tea while sitting under a little parasol on the deck of a ship floating down the Nile. The river was about half a mile wide at this point. Native fishermen in beautiful traditional boats called felucca cruised slowly back and forth, their white sails, like the wings of the following ibis, were filled by the first stirrings of the early evening breeze. The far shore was a narrow sliver of sand against a dense tangle of green. A man watered his cattle, and naked children played, their cries and laughter carrying plainly across the water. You could have gone back in time for thousands of years, and that scene would have been exactly the same, I thought it was magical   

There is a very small settlement somewhere in the American mid west called Annadarko. I had bacon, eggs, Canadian sausage, hash browns, pancakes with syrup and fresh coffee in a diner there one morning. Two grizzled old cowboys in dungarees and Stetsons conversed loudly: “Elmer, did your dawg ever tackle a bear?” “Nope” “Well mine did…Nah he’s all swelled up”.
I fell into conversation with these old guys, they told me I was Annadarko’s first ever tourist.

I had chicken and rice in Thailand. It was cooked by a girl who lived in a packing case.
I met her when she tugged at my sleeve to attract my attention, at first I thought she was a prostitute or a beggar, but as it turned out she was trying to return a 500 baht note that I had accidentally dropped. She worked as a waitress. What little money she earned was sent home to her village to help support her infant son and her parents. I was so impressed that she had returned the money that I told her that she could keep it, in return she cooked me the meal. We ate sitting cross-legged on the floor, overshadowed by the vast opulence of the magnificent kings palace, we spoke not a word of each other’s language, but we smiled and pointed. When we had finished, we bowed formally and parted. I will never see her again, but I will remember her always.

If you stand at the base of the great pyramid of Giza and look in one direction, you will see nothing but dessert. Thousands of square miles of nothing but rock and sand. Look in the other direction and you will, believe it or not, see a Kentucky Fried Chicken shop.
I stayed in a modest hotel in Cairo. On my first night there a guide sold Mrs Red and I a ticket which entitled us to join his tour the following day. The tour was excellent, but then he was showing us one of the Seven Wonders of the World, he didn’t have to work very hard.
Just as we were being rounded up in preparation for our return to the hotel, an Arab taxi driver sidled up to me and whispered, “Let me bring you out again tomorrow, I’ll show you something most visitors never see” Of course I asked a lot of questions and haggled over the price, but to cut a long story short, I ended up making a very good friend who became our private chauffer for the rest of our stay, at a cost of about £10 per day.
I can’t remember what time he collected us the following morning, but it was still dark when we arrived the pyramids. Our driver parked his ancient taxi by the side of the KFC and, although it was closed to the public at this time of the morning, when he knocked on the door it swung open and he beckoned us inside. We were shown to a table by the window, and a waiter brought hot coffee in small cups, and a bottle of Coke with two straws.
Dawn broke. Sunrise over the pyramids cannot be described, and I won’t try here. I can only say that for half an hour or so neither of us spoke a word, we were totally and utterly transfixed.
When we spilled out onto the pavement a little while later, the heat, dust and noise brought us back to reality like a slap in the face. I looked across at Mrs Red, was it a dream? Her breathless expression told me that it wasn’t.

I’ve had Schnitzel and apple strudel in the Donauturm, a revolving restaurant atop a huge tower in Vienna, had lunch with The Duke of Devonshire at Chatsworth house, and tea with the Queen at Buckingham palace, but yesterday, I think, surpasses them all.


I rode my bike to Binley woods in Burbage, a distance of about four miles. When I arrived I made my way, as I’m prone to do, down one of the less well-travelled paths to where I knew there was a secluded clearing.
I have never been there in the spring, but I have to say I was totally astonished by the breathtaking beauty of the place. It was just like a scene from a child’s storybook. The trees were laden with blossom, and the ground was a sea of wild flowers. Bees hummed, butterflies flitted, and birds, which perched in plain sight and seemed not to fear me, sang for all they were worth.
I sat on a fallen log with my flask and a cheese and onion sandwich from my bag and I swear to you now, no one ever had a more enjoyable meal or ate in more wonderful surroundings.

I tried to photograph it with my phone camera, but it doesn’t do it justice.   

Tom, promise us you'll never stop writing these stories for us.

Each to his own I suppose, the bees would have ruined it for me. bzzzz

Excellent stuff though. So many mentalists on blonde, it's good that we have the odd sentimentalist too.  :)up

 ;applause; ;tightend; :goodpost:

Some great stories, fantastically written to keep the interest of every semi-intelligent person reading it.

Plus lots of mention of food, to keep Kev interested.

I can vouch for the pyramids whilst I never got a private sunrise show I did have pizza at sunset (theres a pizza hut the level above the KFC) and was truley breathtaking... the scenery not the pizza which was average... If i can find the pic ill post it its one of my favs of my holiday snaps.

LOL ...  Was a great tale indeed.  I need KFC now though !!

Ta muchly Tom!

Another fantastic read Tom.

Excellent read Red-Dog, I can relate to alot of that with my parents now living in Cairo. The whole looking around one of the 7 wonders of the ancient world and seeing a KFC/Pizza Hut in the background is surreal. If anyone goes to Giza its well worth going to the Mena House Hotel and having lunch on their terrace a bit more classy than KFC (which is disgusting in Egypt).

Red-Dog, your a class act sir  ;hattip;

 :)up

Most enjoyable read sir. 

A great read superbly written, i wish i could write half as eloquently.

Gossebumps !

Love the way you write , makes it so easy to picture the scene .

After a dissapointing day, of which we were supposed to be having Reece for a few days but got that awful call from Stacey that he was ill yet again, we ended up at the hossy, just getting home, he is fine now.
Tom, this post has has given me such a relaxed and calm feeling, by allowing me to picture myself in that field and unwind.I could almost taste the freshness of the air and hear the sounds you were hearing.  . Thanks ..x

Great stuff. I was slightly disappointed with the above as, in keeping with the food theme of the post, i was hoping you'd discovered an untouched area of egypt composed primarily of angel delight.

Super read though, dog. Thanks.  :)up

Top stuff once again Mr Red.

I don't know about others but your posts have a way of making me go back and think about all the cool stuff I've done and really appreciate the good times that they were.

Thanks.

That's what it's all about boldie. Theres an old saying that goes

Money can't buy back your youth when your old
or a friend when your lonely
or a love thats grown cold.

Well it can't buy memories either, you have to horde them like precious jewels.

Don't forget to take them out occasionally though, admire them, share them with your friends. As time passes you will find they grow ever more beautiful.

Wow! I'm a sentimental old fart, but that was a bit soppy, even for me.

Maybe you should send an email to jobs@hallmark.com.

I can do better than them, ever other word they use rhymes with "Too"

Precisely, which is why I'd much rather buy a Red-Dog card than the pish they have now.

That's what the kids are after these days, and the kids are the ones spending.

I miss you too,

I really doo

Lets kiss & coo,

My lovely Soo

There. Will that, err, doo?

Cheque in the post

My ode is subject to Copyright, by the way. I wrote it myself.

You get so much detail into your stories Tom, I always feel like I'm walking a few feet behind you.  That is quite a gift.

I had a good curry in the East End of London once.




LoL....Good post

You promised me you wouldnt kiss and tell  ;smackedbottom;

Fantastic read as always Red x

I have always envyed people who enjoy food, I must have dull taste buds coz most things to me taste ...well dull i guess.

I have 4 food episodes in my life that I can recall.

The 1st was my first serious (heart fluttering) boyfriend when i was 16ish. He decided to take me out for a meal on my birthday. I had bought this ridiculous dress that was supposed to make me look glamorous and hi heels that I couldnt walk in and my attempt to enhanced my already stunning good looks with make up turned me into something out of a horror movie.

I was brought up on eggs + chips, fish fingers + chips, mince n tatties and haggis n neeps etc so when presented with the menu I thought I would choose something sophisticated and decided on spaghetti bolognese coz it sounded posh.

As soon as I saw the plate I knew I had boobed. My attempts to casually suck the spaghetti into my mouth ended up with tomato whiplash marks all over my face and an exboyfriend rolling on the floor laughing.

The second was about 10 years ago when my mothers boyfriend made me a sandwich and told me to shut my eyes and taste....it was the most delicious sandwich I ever ate...he wouldnt tell me what was in it but I know there was cheese, corned beef and marmite ( i hate marmite) and something else...never did find out what else and hes dead now so i never will.

My third memory is when I worked in London and this guy that I had liked for AGES finally asked me out. We went for a couple of drinks and then went to a posh restaurant in the West End. I dont remember what I had but he had something with prawns and it was a lovely meal. 3 hours later he is doubled up in pain in a nightclub somewhere and we spend the next 8 hours in A+E.

My 4th memory is when I lived in Spain. I love the Spanish way of life, everything is so laid back and manana never comes. First priority is kids and family same as anywhere and second is FOOD and boy do they enjoy eating. I could tell you about many memorable meals I had in Spain but 1 will always stick in my mind.

It was the end of summer meal/piss up for the British workers in Calella, Costa Brava and we were all going to a restaurant up in the mountains. We drove higher and higher and when we got there the view was spectacular. The restaurant had a veranda that looked over the scenery and it was truly stunning.

We all had the "dish" that the restaurant was famous for and I can honestly say it was the best meal I have ever had. I didnt actually know at the time what I was eating but I found out after that the main course was wild boar (which we could hear screeching not far away) and wild mushrooms that were the size of saucers and were picked daily in a sauce that was out of this world.

One day I would like to go back there but I probably wont.....it would spoil the memory.

 :goodpost: Suz


Well, she is getting on a bit.