blonde poker forum

On a forum day where we all seem to be discussing literature, science, philosophy, religion and all that pretentious bollox, I thought it might be good to have a thread where we all boast about how dumb we can be, for a bit of balance.

So I pose the question to the masses, what's the dumbest thing you did all week?

pushed with jacks on 8 high flop knowing he had a set......................... ;frustrated;

try and win a boss media MTT while always going in with the best hand.

For me, it was probably turning up to a party, stone cold sober, not one drip of alcohol had passed my lips for days before (so I can't use being tit-faced as an excuse.)

Arriving a little late, I was keen to get started with the frivolities. To this end, after saying hello to the host, I wasted no time heading off to the kitchen area. I had to find a bottle opener to get at my 3for£10 ASDA plonk.
I located one of unfamiliar design, it would not have been too difficult to work it out (it's a corkscrew afterall, not a friggin puzzle) but for the sake of introducing myself more than anything else, I asked some random lady if she knew how to operate it.

I was assured it was dead easy, given a few mechanical pointers, and I moved to begin the cork popping process.

It was rather annoying when I couldn't get it to work straight away, and as two long minutes passed, my frustration level grew. Despite of all the information I'd gathered on this appliances machinations, I was having still having difficulty. In asking for help in the first place I had violated the man code, doing so again would be unthinkable.

In a room full of strangers, I was kinda keen to get it open before my fumblings were noticed and remarked upon. They say first impressions count, and an inability to operate a 99 pence bit of cutlery would surely not cast a favourable one.

Was not to be though, the lady, of whom I had originally asked for help, turned to me during a lull in her conversation and asked how I was getting on. All man pride may have been vanquished at this point, and if not, then a moment later when she took it off me to see if she could manage any better.......






































It was a screwcap.   :blonde:

 rotflmfao ;noflopshomer;

I was dumb enough to believe the Luton G-Casino's published start time for Saturday night's £20 freezeout (after all, they've had three weeks since the April schedule was pubished to correct any errors or post an erratum notice on their website).

I thought it wouldn't hurt if I fastened a crocodile clip to my ear.

assuming the friend i was stalking must have left his cover postion at paintball on saturday....

thus allowing him to unload about 30 paintballs into me at close range whilst i carreered wildly towards what i thought was a vacant position.

it hurts very much today.

Fold KK pre-flop to Colclough on Day 2 of the Manchester GUKPT.

Played in the 300 event at Manchester last night when not in the right frame of mind, new i should withdrawn, just wanted to chill instead.

Pokerwise I have about 26 hand histories that all contain contenders.
Real-lifewise
Monday: didn't quit my job to follow my dreams and do something more fulfilling
Tuesday: didn't quit my job to follow my dreams and do something more fulfilling
Wednesday: didn't quit my job to follow my dreams and do something more fulfilling
Thursday: didn't quit my job to follow my dreams and do something more fulfilling
Friday: didn't quit my job to follow my dreams and do something more fulfilling
Saturday:Spent 25 minutes trying to figure out why my mouse wasn't working until I figured out I'd accidentally plugged it into the network socket. 

 I read 34 pages of forum posts about two guys arguing about paying a tiddley winks debt because one of the players winked when he should have tiddled. 

Or something like that, either way it's 2 hours I will never see again.

woke up

Pokerwise - I played - nuff said!

In general it would be going for a leak last night when i got home in a drunken state having celebrated the mighty Celtic loose the league but not noticing the lid was down on the can!  oops  Good job i never had socks on.

went to Bingo

I repeat, I went to Bingo

Dumbest thing ive done all decade is give Tighty my email address !!!

GET BACK TO WORK!

Oh silly me, delete the word Back...just get to work!

Were you on the pull?

No, he had to go, he has seen you play poker like it was bingo and is doing research for changing his game for the bash :D

gave up on all that sort of stuff ages ago Kybosh.


it will make for an entertaining post though, when I get round to it. Like another world.

Which means that even though it was the dumbest thing he did all week he actually enjoyed it!! ;D

He might be saying the dumbest thing he did was not go sooner?

:dontask:

I had no idea you were that desperate - I just hope she was worth it. I once read a book about octagenerian sex, there are things you can do with a zimmer you may nor have considered yet.......I'll see if I can find the book for you. x

why would someone buy a book 60 years before they planned on using it?  :dontask:

about to delete today's posts off this thread.....

It was entirely research related I can assure you.

(http://www.yappari.co.uk/wp-content/images/blonde/gfy.gif)

I was only trying to style my game on yours...:(

I'm saving myself, i thought by then I'd be ready.

So what you going to do for the next 59 years?

She will play all loose until the end game when she turns all tight, aggressive

You know it doesn't take a lot to get me to think about changing my mind.......you, me, BB4 - I can see it all now.  :kiss:  As Mr Richard Herring is unavailable I will be looking  ;whistle;

Only because you told me that's how you liked it. Was I wrong?

I would be flattered but then i remembered the title of the thread :'(

;)

Good point!  ;slavedriver;

 got into a conversation with my girlfriends best friend about relationships  ;sleep;  ;tracet;  ;grr;  ;tk;  :dontask:  ;whistle;

  ;nana;  ;snoopy'sguns;  >:?  ;shame;  ;frustrated;  ;bumwiggle;  ;oopsy;  ;noflopshomer;   :blonde:  ;dewi;  ;busted;

  ;booboo;  ;boltpp;  ;stickaforkinme;

Tried to overtake a scooter on a bend...

...We're both still alive!

Leave my dissertation this late!!!!

 ;grr; ;frustrated; ;grr; ;frustrated; ;grr; ;frustrated; ;grr; ;frustrated; ;grr; ;frustrated; ;grr; ;frustrated; ;grr; ;frustrated; ;grr; ;frustrated; ;grr; ;frustrated;

Put hair serum on my face instead of moisturiser, yes thats wrinkle cream to those of you in the know!!!

I've just sent my nephew a 5th birthday card when it's actually his 4th birthday.  I bought the card on Sunday, so why did his correct age suddenly occur to me 5 seconds after I posted it?

My Girlfriend bought some facemask stuff for the first time this weekend and she came out of the shower whilst wearing it (she has no shame even though we're not going to be married for another two weeks and I could still get out).

I pointed out that she hadn't covered her whole face and that she was supposed to use all the stuff. She replied "I squeezed every last bit out of it there isn't any more"

My immediate (and stupid reply) was; It's because you have a big face.

not smart

il second that

One that I do regularly (to this day).

When I am mentally occupied walking about, if I come up to a glass door that has "PULL" wriiten on the other side.
I will actually stand and repeatedly attempt to pull the door open on the other side, even though I am looking at "LLUP" (sort of).

ah yes...

The fact that you are still breathing is a miracle! On behalf of all women everywhere I award you the bat!  ;nemesis;

I lost $200 calling a river bet with 5s on an AA773 board.  Yes I coudnt even beat the board.  Thatll teach me to play 7 tables at 1am!

Gonna find it hard to beat that!!!

Sat down at a £500 min PLO table just after being knocked out of the GPT.

technically you can beat the board and still beat 44 43 42 and 32 :)

and 22 :)

yup

 ;booboo;

:blonde:

;busted;

It's usually you catching me out, I was due. ;D

The dumbest thing i did all week was get caught out by Rod Paradise 4 days before the next Blonde Bash!!

<------------- slithers back into tree house to write 100 lines "reread posts before hitting the post button"

lol

Just finishing the packing this morning for trip to BB4 and am ironing a couple of items:

Geo to wife - "you got anything you need pressed?"
wife - "just these jeans and T-shirt"

Geo then proceeds to pull T-shirt over curved end of iron board and begins pressing:

Wife - "I hate it when people do T-shirts that way - it stretches them"
Geo - " I agree with the tight T-shirts, but this is one of the baggy one's"


Wife - "That is one of my tight ones!!"

OOps....exit stage left and on to airport, think Luton's the safest place for me this weekend.

See you there

Geo

Boldie,

if you're not going to Luton, i'll pick up the bat for you and use it on myself until I pass it on.

Geo

lol you can have it Geo...I think you deserve it more than me mate...ouch!

Went to Bath. bought 10 kg of caburys white buttons, and 10 Kgs of chocolate buttons.

Ate a Mexican meal.

Went to new bar in local town, drunk 5 pints.
Went home changed shirt went back out watched LFC v Blue meanies.
Drunk 3 pints.
Moved pub drunk another pint.
Walked home (i assume i cant remember?)


switch on Xbox360, then unplugged it and put it under the sofa?(wtf)

went to bed, missus prods me to stop me snoring. I shoot out of bed bang my head, go down stairs to sleep.
wake up at 6 am and puke allover living room floor, rather  than use mop i massage into floor with newspaper.



what a great night

Went to Butlins with my mum, 2 sisters and 11 kids....say no more.

got incredibly drunk 6 hours before attending the final day and assessment on a course in manchester....was watching the man U game and got caught up in the atmosphere

at least that was my excuse

flew back from my trip away on business.

Plane 1 1/2 hours late.

Lost my airport carpark ticket (-£20)

flat battery [i am idiot - left lights on]  (had to call AA) {+45 mins}

Missed Liverpool v Chelsea game

& Liverpool lost.

At least the day ended well!

To be part of heads up team and being called as last to play for team tanked up with Vodka and Sambuca shots!!!   ;oopsy; ;booboo; :blonde: ;scarymoment;

What i didnt wear under my dress !!  ;angel;

I priced him in . . . .

i fell asleep....

LOL

I dressed "casual" for the quiz....

rotflmfao

If its any consolation mystic monkey sends his regards - he says he's never been as comfortable for those five minutes he went missing off the table!! :D

lucky monkey ;)

COOL!!! I was worried he would be scared for life !

Took a cardigan someone had left on the plane and hunted them down at baggage reclaim.

Turned out to be a musky blanket.

Understatement  rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao ( you have your own unique fashion sense Del  :) )

Ahhhhh, but it was a lovely gesture  :)

got involved in a slanging match with a rocky balboa type firmeman (with similar intellect to him as well)

And had the sound of Kev in your ears as you left the hotel......

"With a bit of effort you'd make a good tramp!"

rotflmfao

Managed to be the 1st person to bust out of  BB4 .......... ;oopsy;  ;ashamed;

Sat to the left of Rookie and Skalie.

Don't put yourself down like that Ariston  :D

ooops ... opened a new thread with this one, although it fits in here perfectly ...

Signed into a 525+30 Turbo SitNGo instead of a $16 one ... went out 4th ... blew hard earned winnings of two months

Nasty! I feel that pain

that does sound pretty harsh

Over celebrated my win in HU against a man who folded A4 vs red lipstick. The win was sweet, the morning after not so.

Helping red lipstick celebrate the victory of K2o by drinking copious amounts of champagne, getting so drunk that the next morning i decided to go home instead of playing at the Sportsman tonight (the main reason for being there in the first place!)