blonde poker forum

Got it via e-mail,

'As per an ubber secret internal memorandum from John S. Leazy, Vice President for New Development to Tom "Get it Done Now" Bossman, CEO of TAJ, Inc.:

We apologize that "The Bad Beat Promotion" has not come on line as yet. As you may be remember from our conversation on April 1, 2005, the goal of the "Bad Beat Promotion" was two fold: (1) the mask the launching of the "RGN Shufflematic" at each table and (2) provide a high profile balance to flurry of bad beat that will occur when the "Counter Online Poker Rake Generation" system is launched.

We are still working out the bugs in the "live" RNG that will guarentee coordinated, flush potential flops with multiple flopped sets for one in every two hands played that is guarenteed to lead to multiway capped pots. This will enable us to compete on an equal footing with the "online poker sites". It will also ensure that there are an increasing number pot building "bad beat" potential hands to increase the rake and balance the cost of the Bad Beat Jackpot.

We have successfully developed the prototype "RNG Shufflematic" (known from this point on as "the card shuffler" that is hooked into the Casino Mainframe. The mainframe runs a version of "poker tracker" that monitors the play at each table and uses this to program an appropriate shuffle sequence into the "Shufflematic" to ensure maximum "rake potential". The current system does not account for unexpected folds of JT s or 33 by "calling stations" or "loose Aggressive" players at table. Therefore, we working with "the Psychic Network" to develop an insta-read system that will read the mood of each player and input the data into our program. You can think of these as Poker Mood Rings which will be imbedded in each seat. There are technical issues with mood determination of wiggling, restless players since at least 30 seconds of contact is required for accurate mood determination.

If instituted correctly market projections are that revenues will increase by 5 to 10% within a month. There is a potential backlash from "tight passive" players that wait for three hours for the magic AA or KK only to see it fall on the river to a runner runner runner flush for someone holding 75 s from the bb after flopping AK7. This is likely to lead to the "tighties" leaving in a huff with claims of faulty "RNG" and never returning. However, since revenue generation is tied into pots played and size of the pot, they are just taking up space that would be better used by loose aggressive players (known as Money Machines). Therefore, eventual projections are for 20 to 30% increase in revenues as makeup of players shifts to a looser gambling style.

Thank you for your patience,
John S. Leazy

Please destroy this document upon reading

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i dont get it, obviously it is meant to be funny but why send it to people!

fkin bent

It is not funny, this is serious bussiness proposal... RNG Shufflematic is the newest product that you can buy in the shops ...

Im gonna have to give up poker then as im one of the tight players who is taken up space from the money machines!!!

I hope you burnt your computer after reading the email as it says "Destroy" not delete so fire is the only answer surely. Am just popping out for some petrol now myself..,..

Careful tantrum - may I call you tant? - there are some on here who will believe that stuff.......

Of course you can call me tant...

Finally the proof we've been waiting for.

I knew I wasn't just pisch at poker, it had to be rigged.

Was that dated 1/4/07 by any chance ? :dontask:

I agree with Tank, I knew the truth was out there somewhere.  Thanks for sharing Tantrum.

It's the future. 

Fortunately, the dealer at Stoke last night was using a newly developed pack of cards that incorporates a minature micro-processor that creates the same results for live play.

lol  ;iagree;



 4h  Kh Nutzzzz

 rotflmfao

That is simply not acceptable to me.

I am not prepared to share tan. We intend to be homogonous.

you'll be calling her 't' soon :D  I hope you are both very happy in your state of mahogany

Steady on, we have yet to reach "ta". One can't rush these things. Homogony is forvever.

I thought it was just new years eve!