blonde poker forum

Excerpts from a Dog's Diary

    * 8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
    * 9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
    * 9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
    * 10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
    * 12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
    * 1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
    * 3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
    * 5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
    * 7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
    * 8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
    * 11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Excerpts from a Cat's Diary

Day 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.

In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow --but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.

The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now . . .

 rotflmfao

Let's not pretend cats are more intelligent than dogs and have anything except the thought of 'food' and 'sleep' going through their brains.

classic

Superb - Angell (my CAT) loved it.

Keep chasing those sticks like a servile moron labouring under the misapprehension that wagging your tail and biting the postman means your owner sees you as more than just a mobile burglar alarm that runs off pedigree chum.

Dog's rule.

I have always had dogs and cats.  Overall,  I would definitely say dogs are far smarter than cats.  However,  I once had a cat called Stoichkov, he was named after the footballer Hristo Stoichkov.  He was such an intelligent cat and had amazing problem solving abilities, he also had a evil look and often sat staring at people without so much as a blink for hours.  We always joked he would have made a great cat for a James Bond baddy. My Aunt had to feed him once while I was in Hospital, when she came to see me later that day she said that Stoichkov gave her the creeps  :D .

 One morning he never appeared for breakfast and I never heard from him again.  I can't believe he was hit by a car as he was far too intelligent to go near the road. My theory is that he had to get out of the UK fast after the mouse Police were getting tired of his massive bird / mouse kill tally,  he is probably down in South America now running million dollar drug deals or involved with some other kind of crime in Eastern Europe,

Did some one say fetch a stick( my favourite thing).

Damn Straight they do!