blonde poker forum

This was going to be a poker post, but Ive been playing poker for the last 11 hours and now I can't seem to summon up enough enthusiasm to write about it. It would have made a decent story, as far as poker stories go. I started by playing 3 tables of £2/4, at one point (somewhere in the first hour) I was over £500 up. When I cashed out over 6 hours later, I had managed to parley my + £500 into - £79, terrific.

Then I played the Laddies $15k. After busting someones AK with my AQ, and someone else's KK with my QQ, I finally got a taste of my own medicine when I was KO'ed in third place with A4 v my AQ. It was a hugely entertaining final table, it lasted over one and a half hours. I should really elaborate, but as I said, I can't bring myself to do it. What I really want to write about is Mike Thomas and owl droppings.

First of all, let me tell you about Mike. Mike is the local wildlife expert, hugely knowledgable and enthusiastic, he seems to spend his entire life walking the footpaths and lanes around the village. To accompany Mike on a walk is an absolute joy, it's like taking a stroll with your own private David Attenborough. He is constantly pointing out things that I haven't noticed, a damsel fly, a badger set, a hobby hawking on the breeze. All the while he keeps up a running commentairy, explaining about this creatures habitat, that birds mating call, the practical uses for a particular herb or flower.

It is my ambition to point out to him something that he hasn't already seen, or to tell him something that he doesn't already know. I have to admit though, the chances of me doing so are are pretty slim.

As a boy, Mike had desperately wanted to work with animals. He was not particular what kind of work it was, as long as he could be outdoors among the animals, wild or domestic, he would be content. Mike's father however,had other ideas. He was an engineer, and he insisted that Mike become an engineer too. Being a dutiful son, Mike did as he was told and became an engineer, he remained an engineer until his retirement. He never lost his passion though, he nursed it all through the long years until he finally had his freedom

Today, I was on the roof putting some flashband (it's like broad adhesive lead tape) on a joint that I suspected was allowing water ingress when I noticed something that made me think of Mike. There, nestling snugly against the fascia board, was a small pile of owl droppings. "Pellets" I think they call them. I knew for a fact that Mike had been on the lookout for some, apparently they examine them under a microscope and get all kinds of information about the owl's eating habits and the diversity and availability of it's prey.

Anyway, Mike had been unable to find any, and now I had.Cushty! I could do him a favour and get one over on him at the same time, I would just walk up to him and present them to him nonchalantly and say "Oh by the way, here are those owl pellets you've been looking for.

Of course, I couldn't be absolutely sure that they were owl pellets, but they looked about the right size and they certainly contained lots of fur and small bones, I broke one open to see inside and the were really quite fascinating in cross section.

I dropped them from the roof on to the lawn and quickly finished applying the flashband. Imagine how gutted I was when upon reaching the ground, I didn't find my owl pellets, I found a small Yorkshire terrier, licking her chops and looking up at me expectantly. Bugger!

Hi Red-Dog m8, as a fellow naturalist owl "pellets" as such are actually the coughed up indigestible parts of the owls diet, bones and fur etc. Interestingly, they cough these up through the mouth rather than crap em out. I imagine because a mouse bone going through ur shitter could be painful.

What a great Post Tom, as usual, & bless Kizzy!

Wow! That's interesting Alex. I thought the rain washed most of the excrement off them.

I wonder how the owl's innards decide what goes one way and what goes the other?

BTW- Is "ur shitter" a technical term?

It is here   ::)

 ;ashamed; rotflmfao

Mrs Dingdell: "Hi honey, I'm home."
Mr Dingdell:  "Hi gorgeous, how was work."
Mrs Digdell: "Bit of a shitter really, like yesterday, and the day before..."
Mr Dingdell:  "That's nice dear."
Mrs Dingdell:  "Told a client where to stick it today."
Mr Dingdell:  "Did he just bend over and take it?"
Mrs Dingdell:  "Yes, I just bent him over and cleaned him out, which reminds me, off to the casino later..."