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I received this

Dear One ,
 
I am Pierre Yao Laurent from Cote d'ivoire. I am an orphan being that I lost my parents during the crises in my country. My father late Françise Laurent was  serving executive chairman of board of the Cocoa exporting board until his death .
 
He was assassinated by the rebels following the political uprising. Before his death he told me  he had Five  million three hundred thousand Usa Dollars  deposited here in Abidjan, Côte d´Ivoire in a private security company .

 
My father told me , the  Five million three hundred thousand us dollars was meant for investment in Europe before his untimely death.  I have all  the documents  including the certificate of deposite of the trunk in the security company which my father handed over to me when he was at the hospital. He instructed me to look for a foreign partner who will help me to receive the trunk box in (his or her) country and also assist me to come over to his country to continue  with my education and also help  me to locate a profitable investment that will be profitable to both of us till  I finish with my education and join him or her in the investment  he might  have established with the money the time I was in school . I do not  know anything concerning business investment at present.
 
I will be more than happy if you accept my request to help me and receive the trunk box which contain the money into your country or any safer place as  the beneficiary and recipient of the trunk on my behalf.Please note that the security company does not know the content of the box.
 
I have plans for investments in your country. This is my reason for contacting  you. Please if you are willing to assist me as an orphan who does not have any family ,  reply back as soon as possible through my private email address : pierreyalau@yahoo.com
 
Thanks.
 
Best Regards,
 
Pierre. 



My reply

Dear Two or may I call you Pierre?
 
How did you know my name was "One"? That's uncanny. Well done, a very bright person you must be
 
Firstly may I say how sorry I am to hear about your parents. It really makes you wake up and smell the coffee when something like that happens.
 
You say you have a trunk box for dispatch to my country. First things first, is this trunk box well made? Will it withstand the rigourous of a long journey across continents? Do you have a contingency plan such as masking tape and araldite in case it gets damaged on the journey?
 
Lets assume you indeed can provide such a re-assurance. I am intrigued by the investment opportunities you suggest. May I suggest an alternative?
 
The Northern Rock Building Society, safe as houses, and they could certainly store your trunk until your investments are ready for seeding.
 
Meanwhile we need to think about your education. What would you like to study? and where? May I suggest you let me know what you wish to do, and I may be able to help. If I may be be so bold you strike me as a sensitive type. I think a HND in Arts and Crafts at Barnfield Sixth form college, Luton might be right up your alley.
 
The UK is now a service economy, and nothing could prepare you better for life in my country than making straw dolls, some painting and maybe if you are really talented some investigation of sticky-backed plastic, as patented on our best known television programme "Blue Peter" which is not Blue, or presented by Peter
 
Anyway, thats enough for now
 
Yours in expectation
 
One




Lets see if I can get further than JC, who had a six email string going I think.

If Pierre can make the cash game in Luton by Friday....I'm there.

You have FAR too much time on your hands.   rotflmfao

 rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao

Is that anyway to treat a poor orphan in his time of grief..........

Lol, I remember about a year ago Shieldsy got some random email from a Russian woman, it was hilarious he would email her with sweet nothings and she back to him, she obviously trying to con - when she said, can you send me money for flights to you, sorta gave it away! Anyway, i think he had her emailing him 3 times a week for about 3 months! I always used to enjoy the updates, she even sent pics! They was nice pmsl!

He replied

2 emails and counting


Dearest One,

     I thank you very much for your reply to my message.I am too happy to read that you have accepted to assist me.I will be informing the director of security company where my consignement is kept about you that you are the one who is taking care of me and also assisting me to retreive my consignement from their place.I wish to join you as soon as you are through with the company here.I hope to forward the contact of the company for you to contact on my behalf.Please send me your telephone number for more details.Have a nice day.
 
Pierre.
 

my reply

Dearest Pierre (or may I call you Pete?)
 
Apologies but I think it is a bit premature to be forwarding my telephone number.We've only just started conversing after all!
 
I am still a bit worried about the trunk that will send the spondoolies over. Any chance of a photograph, of the trunk: not you!
 
Also I am concerned about the Security company. Please re-assure me that they wear smart unifroms and are professional. I once had a summer job as a security guard and spent most of my time either sleeping or watching late night Channel 4 films. Can I expect better from your security company?
 
Finally, our potential arrangement does not involve me taking care of you as such, just to clarify. One can never be too careful, I have my reputation such as it is to think of
 
Regards
 
 
The Chosen One
 

O   M   G!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao

Sacked by Chelsea on Wednesday and having to resort to importing suspect packages by Friday, its a funny old world...........

:D