blonde poker forum

Who's read the new book. Seeing as I failed to win a copy, is it worth the money? The snoopster seems to like it http://www.blondepoker.com/index.php?q=node/12627, but he is easily pleased.

dont give up all hope yet Rob, I still have 3 copies left to give away ...

Eck, Sharpy & Claw have all won one ...


I tell ya what, best Limerick on this thread that includes the words "BLONDE"  "BOOK"  "COLCHESTER"  gets a copy .... closing date is Thursday 11th at midnight.

YOU MUST INCLUDE ALL 3 WORDS


There is only 1 judge ... ME !! 

so keep em (semi) clean ... and may the best poet win :)

there was a fish from colchester
who couldnt spell book or manchester

In the poker world known as Blonde
It's fishes are easily conned
by Colchester Kev
whilst he lays in his bed
chosing who gets the book or gets bonked

An early favourite :)

There was a poker player called hellmuth
Who Kev thought was uncouth
But all of his chips he up and took
He said he read it in a Blonde book
Now kevs moved from Colchester to Portsmouth

There once was a man named Colchester Slim
Used to be fat, had a quadruple chin
Read a book about diets
Damn near caused a riot
With all the sexy young Blondes trying to cop hold of him.

Blondie had a little lamb
she kept it in a Booket
and then one day
that lamb got away
Colchester Kev said he was gonna  **** it..

Opps, what happened to that word.?? LOL

LOLOLOL loving your work, keep em coming.

There once was a Kev in polyester
Who read a poker book in siemester
He didn't read very well
And his face had a tell
And now he's a blonde in Colchester

there was a blonde girl called sally
who met colchester kev down an alley
they bumped into each other, with quite the shudder,
and sally probed sharp as a blade, where are you going, stop too-ing and frowing
she gave him quite the look, nothing me dear, i dont mean to be queer but im reading rick's magic poker book!


p.s one entry only duke

A policeman from Colchester junction
Whose penis had long ceased to function
Fooled his blonde wife
For the rest of her life
Booking her at night with a truncheon

hey i'm on a roll ---

Kev the Blonde Pirate (the story relates)
Pranced round Colchester on roller skates.
He fell on his cutlass
which rendered him nutless
and virtually useless to book on dates.

Im almost tempted to pen my own entry LOL

There was a fat bloke from Colchester
Who did impressions of a dodgy court jester
A persuasive young blonde
Of whom he'd become fond
Booked him into a stick insects body as a tester.

 ;karabiner;

There's a blonde-haired Colchester cutie
Books could be written of her beauty
I want to impress her
So I can undress her
And nosh all night long on her bootie.

Just to divert away from the game momentarily, I was just wondering if anyone else has read Ghosts at the Table and whether or not you shared my thoughts. I would be interested your thoughts.

Colchester Kev was quite dense.
So blonde and devoid of all sense.
He read in some book
How a sausage is to cook
Then went to piss on an electric fence

(Ignore the other two, this is my entry) :)

there was a fat kid who was blonde
who wrote a book about james bond
in it ,it said,your to fat you silly twat
so a diet he took
cause he couldn't get a fcuk
and he looked a bit like festa
but really it was kev from colchester

bum bum.

There was a young bearded dog
Whose mind was often a fog
In a thread full of rhymes
He said "reviewing this book is mine!"
but his question failed to leave the blondes agog

Though on waking up, our colchester blonde,
can resemble something from a pond
A quick shower shave and s**t
and he looks like brad pitt
Or that spy from the book, Mr Bond

This is gonna be a tough one to judge, but i am loving the creative combined numptiness Genius of you all, keep em coming :)

colchester kev, had a book to purvey
yet in fact there were three in this blonde giveaway
but when flushie enquired
the offer expired
as kev said " i'm simply not..................................in possesion of those books anymore".

Colchester was pimping a book
The blondites all wanted a look
So they each penned a verse
But (pardon the curse)
I didn't, I don't give a fuck!

LOL quality .... gonna be a tough one to judge methinks !!

There once was a chap from Colchester,
called Kev, and the girls from Blonde he did pester,
they handed a petition into Tikay,
requesting that from the females he is kept away,
but he'll be let off if at BB5 he dresses as a jester.

11 out of 10.

 rotflmfao

There was a young blonde from Colchester
Who's norks Kiv tried to sequester
He said 'I don't give a fook
Who gets the book
As long as I get to molest her'.

Colchesters so sad to say
Its big fish he has gone away
He's gone with a blonde
to the back and beyond
and a book thats named after Tikay

colchester knew a blonde lady who was rude
one day they went swimming in the lake
a man in a punt
stuck his pole in the water
and said don't swim here till you give me a book

a book called ghosts at the table
colchester would read it if able
but although a blonde saint???
educated he aint
so he'll donate his copy to the poet most unstable

    There was a blonde book reader named Lou
    who said as colchester withdrew--
    "Now rudders  is quicker,
    And thicker, and slicker,
    And two inches longer than you

Keep em coming, closing date is Tonight at MIDNIGHT.

There was once a book by Des Wilson
The Colchester boy in his wisdom
Tried to give some away
To a Blonde named Tikay
And now he plays poker like a Goodun

disqualified, i have never been good at poker !

LOL...  You misread it...

stil disqualified, tikay is WORSE than me ..... !

lmao..class.

I must admit, its up there at the top of the short list....  Only thing is if Bolty wins i will have to post it ... And I was rather hoping that the winer would be at the bash, cos im too tight to pay postage ;)

Sitting alone in Colchester
He was on the bookshelf, left to Fester
Now having moved South
With a blonde in Portsmouth
He has lots of sailors to pester.

Colchester Kev and a dyslexic whore named Yvette
Thought they'd sell some books on the net.
But gash, ckus and ckuf
Made her role sound so rough
That Blonde qurees are all she can get

Blonde, Book, Colchester.

1/3 aint bad i spose ;)

bugger forgot that


I've edited!

Colchester Kev inspected his willie,
He said "This thing's so short it's just silly.
It's blonde and becoming so small
Very soon I won't find it at all
And the book says I won't be Kev, I'll be Kelly".

                            
                          There was a young man named Kevin, who claims, he flew down from heaven,

                   He landed in Colchester, of all places, you should have seen the look on the kebab workers faces.

                ''Bonus'' they cried, sacred books, blondes and money, young Kevin said ''Oi Mustaq, that aint funny''

                 So he gave up kebabs and tried poker, but they had the last laugh, cos there he's more of a joker...

LOL...


lim·er·ick      /ˈlɪmərɪk/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[lim-er-ik] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation

–noun a kind of humorous verse of five lines, in which the first, second, and fifth lines rhyme with each other, and the third and fourth lines, which are shorter, form a rhymed couplet. 
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Origin: 1895–1900; after Limerick; allegedly from social gatherings where the group sang “Will you come up to Limerick?” after each set of verses, extemporized in turn by the members of the party]

Colchester kev, lives in his bed
Moderates Blonde from dusk til dawn
Has endevours with the Levers often see him DOOKED
In fact his adventures are so damned good
He should get the pen and write a book


:)

ps if i win, robert can have the book:)

lol mad..how is that a limeric?

at least i tried.............................

LOL I thought the same for some earlier posts also...  Thats why I posted the meaning of the word limerick.. LOL

its nearly decision time ... and if they have the 3 selected words included, they go in for selection.

even Vinnies ;)

woo hooo, im in the running, limerick or not:) lolol

How about a haiku?


    A book the reward
    As Colchester was left
    A blonde he stayed

thought the first one was shit so deff wont be buying the 2nd

Swimming with the devilfish?

Call that a Limerick ???

rotflmfao

ell, who won?

You have to give it to tank, kinboshi and bolt.

Before the result is announced, I must first start by saying Kinmuggy will never win anything that I judge (unless its a comp to find the biggest fish on blonde)

Too be honest this is too tough to just give one book away... so I am giving 3 away.

The Winners Are

bolt

colchester kev, had a book to purvey
yet in fact there were three in this blonde giveaway
but when flushie enquired
the offer expired
as kev said " i'm simply not..................................in possesion of those books anymore".

Red Dog

Colchester was pimping a book
The blondites all wanted a look
So they each penned a verse
But (pardon the curse)
I didn't, I don't give a fuck!

The_Duke

Multiple entries ... All of them pants, but he gets one for effort LOL

Great effort everyone, gave me a good chuckle, Red & Duke will get theirs at the bash, bolt if you PM me your address mate I will send the book out to you ... then pass the addy on to the bailiffs ;)

On-line Limerick contests are rigged.....

 ;ashamed;

 rotflmfao

;grr;

Boo, hiss, boo...     **trudges off to play.com to buy a copy**

lmao

Can I have my thread back now?

fix hes havin an affair with all of them

It's a great read, Robert. Well worth the money.

Saw this in borders last weekend, but not paying their prices, £12.59 on amazon, is this the cheapest i'll find it for?