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I have 2 autistic kids.

My 12 year old son has aspergers and his main problems are mostly related to making friends/depression/feeling worthless and just hating life in general. He sees every day as being worse than the next and actually cries when he has a good day. He moved to secondary school this year and hates it which I knew he would. He is very intelligent and is top of his class in most subjects but he absolutely hates school and although hes only 12 and im assuming he wouldnt know how..he wants to die. I know it sounds horrible but I think he probably will one day when he finds out how to do it.

My daughter is 10 and in her last year at Junior school, she is more severely effected. When she was 4 year old I pushed to get her into a very good autistic unit here in Bath but she was refused (its common knowledge that the more you can donate the better chance you have of getting in). I was advised that she would get full support in a mainstream school and she would be fine. I agreed to this providing that later down the line they wouldnt take her out of mainstream..guess what!!
They are now saying that she might be better in a special school.
She has disliked a male member of staff ever since he joined the junior school but now he teaches her year group and she is kicking off big time. They had me sign a letter agreeing to my daughter being escorted everwhere in building so no accusations could be made against him which I agreed to..the poor guy has done no wrong and hes really nice but I sense a feeling of panic and they want her out.
Shes was dragged into the building kicking and screaming on Thursday and yesterday she was in such a state I didnt take her to school.

So its crunch time...what do i do?

Keep forcing her (and no we cant get to the bottom of why she dislikes this bloke) to go to school and then hopefully go to secondary with all her friends..or..agree to her going to a special school which to be honest I think she should have been going to in the first place but how is that going to effect her after being in mainstream for so long.

On Monday I will be phoning round the local schools but I dont see much hope..shes such a handful and maybe im being paranoid but ive got a feeling they will all be full up.

I want to keep her in this school and hopefully ride out the storm but I have no idea where we stand...can they kick her out?

What criteria do they need to get rid of her?

I would appreciate any comments or advise coz I just dont know what to do.

Are there no helplines or advice centres available that can assist in these kind of situations or is autism a neglected condition in this country?

This type of post suddenly brings us all back into the "real world" and makes us realise there is more to life than our pocket aces getting outdrawn.

I have no experience of autism therefore no advice to give, but I just wanted you to know Suzanne my thoughts are with you, I am of the impression you are a strong lady and will fight every inch of the way to get is what is best for your daughter.

Hopefully some of the other members will be more helpful, this message is just for moral support.

Good Luck.

That's pretty much what I'd have said, sorry I can't offer anything but moral support.

Is a week or so off likely to help?  I have no idea I'm afraid. 

Hi Suzanne,

I've got nothing useful to add either I'm afraid, just wanted to give you a hug (((Suzanne))) and say I hope you get something sorted out that's best for you and your family.  Are there any internet forums for parents of autistic children you could ask advice from?

Hi Suzanne

I dont know if your kids are in treatment or you are getting professional support for yourself? The support for yourself is crucial and generally comes in the form of awareness building and family therapy. This is to give you a better understanding of the condition the kids have and also to understand how dynamics between people in the family and at school can affect the condition. The also equip you with the skills to cope.
Without knowing your details Id suggest you go to your local authority and ask them to come and assess your situation and see what help they can offer. Under the law you are entitled to an assessment and supports. Helping the kids socialise is key and might help his negative thoughts about life. Ask about day respite for the kids and it would also give you a break and help them socialise outside school and home.
The local authority should be able to assess whether a mainstream school is best for your girl. If the current school is distressing her then she cant stay. You need to consider whether this focus on a teacher will be present at another school. I dont know if its part of your girls condition but if it is, this obviously will need to be taken into consideration when you decide.  You can demand a second opinion about the special needs school if you are feeling tis might be better. Its a fine line between making sure your girl grows up and has a normal as possible life but also gets the right supports. If mainstream school is not doing that for her, then you've every right to demand a second opinion on the other school.
Finally, you are a remarkable woman to cope on a daily basis. The kids condition is highly challenging and sometimes you need a break away. Its easy to get caught up feeling the pressure on a day to day basis. We are only human and we all have snapping points. The key for you is to make sure you dont operate all the time at snapping point and coping will be easier. The kids will pick it up and the stress may exaserbate their behaviours. Again Im generalising but I do hope you get some help for you if you do anything xxx

I used to teach autistic/aspergers kids at a local college that looked after students with learning difficulites like this. I found it crucial that they were in a safe environment where everyone knew the problems surrounding their learning process. I would say getting them into a specialised school/college is key, often we took alot of pressure from the parents and knew how to handle situations that might occur,

I still talk to a few of my old asperger's students, one I must say is an maths genius he had the memory of a computer! but he was always obsessed with morris chesnut (an actor) and buses! :)

gl whatever happens.

Big Hugs

I think as a mum you always know whats best deep inside.  When Kendra had problems in mainstream school, I was forever backward and forward because a particular teacher felt threatened by her.   Different illness but it sounds like same lack of understanding.  The hosp ital  arranged for the local education authority advisor and key teachers from the school to attend a meeting, a medical person from Kendras team went to the school and discussIed her illness with them.  It didnt solve everything but it helped Kendra finish her education in mainstream school. 

I have a very supportive mum and I think its vital that you get support and time out too.

My Love and thoughts are with you.

I think Mad and Acid gave sound advice Suzanne , maybe having a look around the special needs schools with your daughter will put you both more at ease .

Goodluck Suzanne  :)

To be honest I think im on the verge of a mini breakdown and its all just got too much and I really appreciate the support.

My mum broke her arm a couple of weeks ago and has difficulties going to the loo/cooking/getting dressed etc and has been very down , my internet is playing up and my 19 yr old son cant play on his warcraft games so he is giving me grief.

My daughter is just crying non stop and my 12 year old hides under the duvet and rocks back and forth to block out the noise...I tried getting under there with him but he didnt appreciate it LOL.

I have tried in the past to get professional help from social workers etc but by the time you have worked your way to the top of the list they have changed the criteria and you are back at the bottom. We have been down the family therapy road and got nowhere, 2 kids on the autistic spectrum who totally clash and have no idea of the needs of each other, but now and again there is a magical moment when they click and hug each other and somehow those few precious minutes give me hope because if they can communicate with each other then they can with others.

The next week is going to be decisive, an emergency meeting has been called on Thursday to decide what and where my daughter will continue her education, my concerns are that I am basically tired/so tired/very very tired and dont know if I have the strength to fight for her anymore. She wants to go to a different school but has no idea what is in store.

My younger son I know is clinically depressed, they were reluctant to diagnose him when I tried to get help for him at 9 yrs old but I will push again, I didnt want him on drugs that young anyway but I cant do nothing. I worry more about him than my daughter TBH.

Tough times and its nice to have somewhere to air my concerns..my mates deserted me long ago when it got "embarrassing" at my kids kicking off in public.

I dont think I have ever felt so low as I do right now and I just hope for my kids sake I pull myself together.

You're among friends Suz, just let it out.

Strength is a funny thing, somehow, no matter how tough things get, you always find just enough.

Hi Suz

I wish i was closer to you just to give you those few hours of rest when you really need it.

I have two friends both with children with aspergers, the boy is 11 and has extreme difficulty in portraying his feelings across so everything he does has a violent aspect to it - he hits to get attention, hits to show he is excited etc.   For some reason he has also taken an extreme waryness to a male member of her social circle - this has come out of the blue, he has never been like this towards one specific person before and like you she cannot find a reason why.

My other friend has a daughter with aspergers, her case does not seem as severe at the moment but she is only 3 and they have been told it could get more severe as she grows older (is this true do you know??? Its really depressing my friend). 

Both of them are members of an online support community which they find invaluable, you are most prob aware of all the support groups but I'll ask them for the one they use the most often and let you know.

For both of my friends, neither have any hereditry of Autism or aspers.

Keep strong Chicka xx

I was going to just let this thread die as I posted it on an evening when I was feeling very down but after the supportive comments I thought I should update.

Internet connection is now sorted so oldest son isnt giving me grief.

Mum is still upset, I think this fall has her worried about her future, shes only 67 but her eyesight/hearing/coordination has all deteriated quite rapidly in the last couple of years and shes worried about getting shipped to "Shady Pines"

I havent done anything about my 12yr old son yet coz my daughter has been kicking off big time.

This week she went to school on Monday, refused to go on Tuesday so had a day off, Wednesday it took me 2 hours but eventually got her there, Thursday morning I phoned the school up saying "Thats it ..im taking her out" Within an hour I have a special needs co-ordinator on the phone saying I must attend the meeting to discuss which school she can go to.
I went to the meeting that was arranged and there was a woman there from the special needs school that I have already said i do NOT want her going to.
They asked me if I want her to leave the school and I said NO because I know changing her to a different school now..in her last year of Juniors would be disasterous but if I cant get her to school then I have to think about other options.

They have now arranged a "hit squad" of specialists to observe her. Meanwhile I should visit other schools and they have so helpfully arranging appointments for me next week to go visit these schools and not to worry about transport (as these schools are quite far away) because a staff member will go/drive me there...bloody efficient work all in the space of a few hours.

Its almost comical that I spent months/years of fighting the system to try and get her into a special school when she was an infant and was rejected at every attempt. NOW within 24hrs she is being offered a place because a teacher is involved and alarm bells are ringing.

They want her out and they are suggesting that the Secondary School she want to go to (her 2 friends are going there) will not be "ideal"

I have/she been stitched up like a kipper.

My advice to any parents with autistic/asperger kids is you have to fight the system HARD and dont give up..I backed down in the end and agreed to my daughter going into to mainstream school because I wanted her to be "normal".....worst mistake I ever made.

Mitch PM on the way

my thoughts and goodwill are with you suz


you are undoubtedly a very strong lady,and are dealing with a LOT at the moment....

hope things go well,sooner rather than later for you and yours

keep us updated

chin up and all that ( cliche i know )

An update.

The specialists were called in and my daughter is still attending her mainstream junior school but only from 9am -12 (when I can get her there). This will keep the school attendance records to a minimum when she has an "off" day.
She is being encouraged to attend by being allowed to take her favorite toys into school and the first 30 mins  and can "play"..........what a total load of BOLLO**KS!!!
The school doesnt want to let her go coz shes on a full statement but CUMMON..shes is going into Secondary school next year and they are treating her like a bloody INFANT.

Ive asked if she can go to another mainstream school and been told NO

So what are the options...NONE

I cant transfer her to another junior school, its in the cards they are going to say she cant go to mainstream secondary SO time to go to battle.........I dont even know where to start!!

 I have decided shes not going back after christmas ... kick up loud and strong and see where I stand..im raising 4xBB ;-)

hi ya havent had the time to go over the whole thrread yet, but my youngest is autistic and he go's to a specialist school .yes the battle is a very hard and long 1 that u have to fight all the way and the weight of it does bear down on you and you feel like that everyone is against you,but when you do reach the end its a huge relief,dont despair you are not alone and you probably know that the http://www.nas.org.uk/ is a great source of help and info,and his paediatrician should be of assistance as well,from what i know the level of assistance cvaries greatly depending on which area you live in i have heard some horror stories regarding parents trying there best for the kids and feeling just like we all did at some stage

I think you lot have probably heard enough of me moaning and im sorry.

Blonde gives me somewhere to voice what im feeling and it makes me feel better getting it off my chest.

I realise a poker forum is not where I should be doing this but I know a lot of you guys and have met you at previous bashes and i speak to loads of you via PMs

Its actually surprising how many... just on Blonde alone have autistic children and the different results all around the country.

Bath unfortunatly has many rich and affluent people who are only too willing to donate heavily at the xmas fair, my daughter is nearly 11 now and I as was told when she was 3 yrs old to "save up" or shes got no chance.

Yesterday was the school talent show...my daughter had planned for this for the last 3 months..she practised every move and had her song and dance routine word perfect...she dreams of being the next Britney (i now understand how complete muppets go pop idol thinking they are stars) trouble is she has come 1st, 2nd, 1st in the last 3 comps but parents are not allowed to watch!!!!

Anyway...the school headmistress..in her years of knowledge and teaching decided that Megan should not be allowed to take part in the talent contest..because I had kept her off school the previous day..she had been up practically all night coughing and i had decided to take her to the docs, she also had swimming that day which is not good, I am going to get shit for weeks/even months coz i am the worst mother in the world,.I have decided she is not going back after christmas so any advice would be appreciated.

Actually forget the advice coz I know I have only 1 option.

3 Bedroom semi in a nice area of Bath, neighbours are ace. Looking for a similar councel house swap, anywhere considered.

Again the postcode lottery comes into force... hey just a thought why not emigrate to eastern Europe take there nationality then become an immigrant here and hey presto all the care u needed will be available.......

This place is just round the corner from me Suz, i'm sure you are aware of it. No idea what the story is with council houses im afraid but some incredibly soft home games on offer  :D

(http://tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:xu-QUbfx0PswtM:http://www.autism-in-scotland.org.uk/services/images/NewStruan_web_000.jpg)

http://www.autism-in-scotland.org.uk/index.shtml

Best Wishes

James

Im feeling sort of calm tonight as school has now broken up for Christmas and I now have 3 whole weeks that I dont have to dread waking up and going through the same old shit.

On a different note..because of all that has been going on I have been unable to do xmas shopping, i have put my annual request into argos home delivery 3 times now and as usual half of it is out of stock each time but im still missing a few vital presents...ie 1 sister, 3 nieces, 1 brother in law (the one that i might go to jail for...so fook him) and i have no idea what i have and havent got for my own kids and to be honest............i dont CARE!! because I know they dont. Megan has given me a list a mile long and no matter what I get it wont be enough, Adrians list is 3/4 console games and they will all frustate him and send him into tantrums coz he cant do them.

Anyway...after much though I think I have come up with a solution.

If my sister and I swap houses via the council (but dont actually move) she will then not be in the school catchment area by address..im looking into it but it could be a way out :-)

Hi Suz,

Can't offer any advice as I have no expertise whatsoever in these areas at all but just wanted to post to show you some support.

Must be a nightmare at times for you but there are plenty of your friends on here who you can talk to and will listen plus offer advice where they can, myself included.

"I think you lot have probably heard enough of me moaning and im sorry."

Please, no need to ever think this, as people care and are interested plus, more importantly,  if it helps you by posting then let it out!

One thing I thought was it seemed very harsh that Megan was banned from the talent contest.  You'd think that having found something involving school that made her want to attend they would encourage it!

Anyway best of luck on potential way out and try to enjoy some of your three week respite!

Take care, Keith

I agree with Keith Suz - don't ever feel bad about posting.  Yes some people on here might think it's not suitable for a poker forum, but then they don't have to read every post.

I also think the decision re the talent show was out of order.

Hope you have as stress free a Christmas and New Year as you possibly can.

xxxx

Seems very harsh not to let your little girl join in the talent contest , poor little thing must be heartbroken after all the rehearsing she had done , shame on the head.

Always post when you feel you need to get it off your chest Suz , always here to listen and you have phone numbers if you need feedback or someone else to swear about the school .

You now have three weeks breathing space , take some time out from all the stress you are under and enjoy Christmas and the New Year .

Take care

xx

Hi Suzanne,

Just seen this thread.

I really don't have any advice to give - I've never had kids - but hang in there. I know you will.

Blonde Poker is predominately a Poker Forum.

But more then that, its a Community Forum where everybody can come and talk about all things in general, thats why we have the LOUNGE now so we can chat about things OTHER than poker.

It helps to get things off your chest, so please Suzanne

KEEP POSTING

Suzanne,

Best of luck to you and yours, you must be doing something right to get this far.

A few observations:

I personally think you are very brave to post this stuff on here and from what I have read these people are top bananas and will offer you advice when they can and support otherwise.

I know two families that have kids like yours, one very affluent the other single parent, council stuff (please don't take offence anyone cos I'm council stuff myself). Now both are absolutely lovely and their kids went to the same school and their 'special' kids go to the same special school, they are collected by taxi in the morning, they are all doing great and the kids are fantastic.

So what am I trying to say? Not sure but I think it's that you should be proud of what you have done so far and you should push ahead with badgering the local authority to get the very best that they can offer your kids.


Very best of luck to you.

Its amazing how just 2 days away from the stress can change your outlook. Ive just read through this thread and I sounded like a woman possessed LOL

I think it was a VERY bad idea not to let her join the talent show as we are now back to square one and shes saying she doesnt want to go back.

In fairness the idea of her going only half a day was to encourage her back into the classroom and also as I said to keep the absentee records to a minimum which seemed a reasonable (tho i didnt like it) idea. The 30 mins play and being allowed to take her toys to school DID work as she went to school 4 days in a row but shes not going to make the grades she needs to get into mainstream secondary if shes only going to school a couple of hours a day and not learning is she!!

I think my problem is that I feel I gave up too easily in the early years.

Adrian was 3 years old when he started seeing specialists I put it down to jealousy as there is only 18 months between the two of them. He completely shut down at the age of 2 and he either completely ignored everyone or he lashed out. It was also obvious from a very early age that he was highly intelligent, he knew his alphabet and numbers before he could talk, he played a vtech game and knew all the letters and numbers at 15 months (I used to watch Countdown every evening and he was glued to it) When he went to preschool playgroup I was told he would be taught his letters and numbers up to 10..they were gobsmacked when I wrote down a 5 figure number and asked Adrian what it was LOL

Anyway..during these assessment I noticed that the paediatrician was also watching Megan who was sat in a corner with some toys. My main worry at that time was Adrian but I had also noticed that Megan who was a lively chatty wee thing and had started talking quite early was now NOT talking at all. I had also put this down to the fact that everytime she said anything Adrian attacked her. I literally could not go for a pee and leave them both in the same room at that time, she was a permenant fixture on my hip. I didnt see the signs at that time but the paediatrician did and it was spotted at a very early age.

She was diagnosed at 4 year old and funnily enough Adrian never has been given the official stamp.

I wanted initially for her to go to the same infant school as her brother but unfortunately the headmistress's window looked onto the nursery playround and she saw Megan at her best..attacking a 3 month old baby in its buggy coz it smiled at her...that kind of sealed it. She called me into her office 2 weeks before the school broke up for summer (she was supposed to be joining in Sept) and told me im very sorry but she cant come here. WHY I asked as I pulled her down off the bookcase with 2 ripped posters in her hand LOL

Those days were much worse than now so im sure I will get through this.

I met a woman at a local support group when Megan was younger, her son was autistic and a computer whizz kid at 12 years old. A friend of hers wanted someone to set up a web page to promote a new business and was happy to pay if the kid was up to it.
They both went to stay with him for a weekend and the bloke was delighted with his work. They left on the Sunday but his mum didnt have the cash on her to pay for the taxi so they went to the station and he sat in the taxi while she looked for a cashpoint. Unknown to her he was very angry that he hadnt been paid for his work (he thought) and panicked a bit at being left in the taxi.
They got home safely but within a week this kid had run his credit cards up to £600,000  ;gobsmacked;

Thanks to all of you who have PMd and given you support.......its more appreciated than you will ever know x

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Curious-Incident-Dog-Night-time-Adult/dp/0099450259..well worth reading.

Also...I wasnt going to mention this but my son was given the MMR at 2 yrs old and the age was lowered to 15 months when my daughter had hers. I believe the MMR is why my kids are autistic but given the same choices again I would still go down the same road. I dont know what the odds are but i just got unlucky :-(

 Re: Any advice appreciated
« Reply #28 on: Today at 05:13:56 am »   

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Quote from: Acidmouse on November 10, 2007, 10:24:35 am
I used to teach autistic/aspergers kids at a local college that looked after students with learning difficulites like this. I found it crucial that they were in a safe environment where everyone knew the problems surrounding their learning process. I would say getting them into a specialised school/college is key, often we took alot of pressure from the parents and knew how to handle situations that might occur,

I still talk to a few of my old asperger's students, one I must say is an maths genius he had the memory of a computer! but he was always obsessed with morris chesnut (an actor) and buses!

gl whatever happens.





I met a woman at a local support group when Megan was younger, her son was autistic and a computer whizz kid at 12 years old. A friend of hers wanted someone to set up a web page to promote a new business and was happy to pay if the kid was up to it.
They both went to stay with him for a weekend and the bloke was delighted with his work. They left on the Sunday but his mum didnt have the cash on her to pay for the taxi so they went to the station and he sat in the taxi while she looked for a cashpoint. Unknown to her he was very angry that he hadnt been paid for his work (he thought) and panicked a bit at being left in the taxi.
They got home safely but within a week this kid had run his credit cards up to £600,000 

Thanks to all of you who have PMd and given you support.......its more appreciated than you will ever know x

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Curious-Incident-Dog-Night-time-Adult/dp/0099450259..well worth reading.

Also...I wasnt going to mention this but my son was given the MMR at 2 yrs old and the age was lowered to 15 months when my daughter had hers. I believe the MMR is why my kids are autistic but given the same choices again I would still go down the same road. I dont know what the odds are but i just got unlucky :-(

You werent unlucky hun i initially thought why me why not someone else but its just how the cookie crumbles and now i cannot imagine thomas as being (typical/normal) although i dont like to think him as abnormal but when he ran into the mountain of crereal in asda 1 day then lay in the middle of the pile kicking and screaming at the top of his voice because i wouldnt re stack them for him to do it again i did think something wasnt quite right lol but i wouldnt change him for the world and as a parent as much as it grates on you and wears you down you'll always be there for them and thats what counts... and at the end of the day who knows best MUM xx good luck hun ps i read the book years ago and still do now what a tops read,,also try reading Kevin it puts what weve gone through into perspective (ill post writers name later if you want?)

Suzanne, I don't do Christmas, or the cards & pressies nonsense, but I'll be thinking of you over Christmas, & I do so hope it's a pleasant & peaceful time for you all.

Absolutely right.  :goodpost:

Thanks Tony ..I hope you have a quiet and profitable xmas too xx

CIA do you mean this one?

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Need-Talk-About-Kevin-Paperback/dp/1852424672/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1198307616&sr=8-1

Coz if it is im not sure I want to go there :-(

I laughed at the description of your son diving head first into a cereal mountain  rotflmfao but im sure it wasnt funny at the time.

I have many stories I could tell and I only wish I could have done a blog back then..it would be really interesting to read back on it now. I didnt keep a diary either as I really didnt have the time which is a shame.

A couple of scary moments that come to mind...when she was about 3 we were staying in a caravan park and the leisure centre had a wacky warehouse type place, not sure what happened but she was right in the middle and just flew at this poor kid and was kickin the livin daylights out of him..he was double the size of her too and im sure the sight of me struggling to get though small holes and climb rope ladders must have looked hysterical..i got stuck between two foam cones on poles and had to be pulled out by some bigger kids :-(

She bit a guys hand so badly he was bleeding when he only tried to help her when she fell.

I think the worse/most stressful time was again when she was 3/4 years old. Since living in Spain when I was younger I made a point of going back at least once a year so the kids were used to flying from an early age. Even tho I split up from my ex when she was a baby I invited him along so he could have some quality time with them.. but we had fallen out big time and he wasnt invited on this or any other trip after that so there was just me, the 3 kids and my mum...the holiday was doomed from the start.
We got to the airport and discovered my mum had left her passport at home..only option was for her to get a taxi home and back and the driver to put his foot to the floor along some very narrow twisting roads, it was doubtful he would make it but it was worth a go. Luckily there was some really big England football match on at the time and the roads were deserted so he made it back in time ...just!!!
We were rushed onto the plane at the last minute and I could see as we walked up the aisle that the air hostess was unfolding the seats by the emergency exit for us as the plane was jam packed with no spare seats.
"Quick" she said as the plane was already moving."Please sit down and fasten your seat belts"..as soon as I saw the seats I knew she wouldnt sit..there was a slight gap between the back and the seat base..only maybe a centimetre but light was shining through it and one look at Megan told me all I needed to know. "Look after Adrian" I said to my mum (who was already very stressed) but she knew by my tone there was a problem.
I tossed my bag on the ailse chair but she had already seen it, i took my coat off and placed it on her seat saying "Quick..put your belt on" but I knew she wasnt going to sit down.
I quickly explained to the hostess that she was autistic and could she please bring me a child harness as sitting on my knee was the only option..by this time we are on the bloody runway ready to take off.
NO they insisted, if she was not sat in her own seat they would have to turn the plane back..shes been screaming her tits off the whole time BTW..the whole fookin plane is watching now and im getting daggers from everyone..i swear I could have happily went to jail for murder.
So I agreed that she was going to be forced into her chair..it took me, 1 steward and 2 stewardess to physically pin her down into the chair as the plane was gathering speed down the runway, we got her in and i clung like a limpet to her seatbelt buckle and the staff RAN to their seats as the plane took off.
She screamed like a devil possessed for most of the journey and the whole thing was highly embarrassing..but what I was surprised at was that after explaining that the seat was the problem to the hostess..she then went round the other passengers asking if someone would swap..and nobody would!!!
Bugger them..i was used to the screaming LOL

Next installment of the holiday from hell to follow ..

Suzanne, keep pouring it out, especially if it helps. It certainly helps many of us to realise how lucky we are - you deserve a Ladyship, you truly do. That flight must have been absolute hell for you, but you coped, & you are still coping. For that, much respect, because I don't think many of us could.

Keep writing, I think it helps.

Yes that is the book it is a bit of a tough read,

I remember when Thomas was 3 and we took him to Disney for a week (family wedding) the flight over there was fine as it was late at night and he slept most of the way.Mind you his body clock was all over the place and what with the excitement of Disney and the wedding it self(attended by mickey and Minnie) he screamed throughout the ceremony because he couldn't stand with Mickey.then at the reception he knocked over an ornamental fish ($1550) ouch,plenty more tantrums later we decided to get to the airport early to check luggage in and they asked us if we would consider flying early but we would have to fly to JFK new York and change for B A club class to London.
They also offered $1000 each to go that way,result i said we'll take it(ex-wife said not a good idea) and if i wanted to do it i would have to look after thomas.OK i says no probs easy money + club class to London all was well until we touched down at JFK WOW the mother of all kick offs wasn't going to leave plane kicking and screaming as i held him while he lashed out at all that was around with every one staring and commenting (oh how i loved the disapproval looks and comments) all through the airport and in the club lounge he was a mare BA were telling us if he doesn't calm down we would b refused entry to the plane like he understood that Lil,they were really bad USA side any way we got onto the plane Remember we were in club class)and all 4 of us were seated apart i told the stewardess about thomas and she said there was nothing she could do until everyone had boarded.Thomas' seat was next to a businessman reading the FT I Just looked at him and said sorry she wont move us yet.Thomas sat in seat OK but when i went to get into my seat he created merry hell. i think every call button was pressed within 10 secs lol they quickly moved us then but 2 and 2 which meant i got thomas all 2 myself.eventually he settled down enough for then to start taxi onto runway,as we got onto runway i was looking out of window as we gathered speed i turned to point something to thomas and he was gone he had slipped his harness off and scarpered stewardess chased him down aisle he slipped through the curtain and went up to 1st class shouting and screaming i was told to stay seated they eventually struggled back with him and we managed to get him strapped in.the rest of the journey was just 1 long tantrum longest flight for me and all on board,

Was it worth it mmmmmmmm just lol

AHHH your missus knew best then ;-) A to B with the least complicatitions possible and to hell with the cost..just not worth it... tho $1000 each is a hefty sum.

I was going to tell you all about the various problems that happened during that holiday which included her chasing a bouncing ball into the middle of the swimming pool fully clothed and sinking to the bottom. Im so glad no one had a camara to take a snap of me jumping in and push her to the side with my tits hanging out of my top  ;ashamed;
She kicked off everytime we went to the restaurant to the stage after 3 days we ate out for the rest of the holiday. Interestingly though..I spoke to her a few years later when we found a way to communicate and I think it was a fishing display on the wall with seaweed/lobsters/crabs etc that scared her.

We met LOADS of the people who were on that plane in Salou during that holiday,they all knew who Megan was LOL and all of them said..dont worry about the trip back....easier said than done!!!

To cut a long story short...the plane home was delayed by about 8 hours, it was blatantly obvious that the staff had been pre-warned, im sure they were ready to kick us off at the first sign of trouble but she was as good as gold :-)

We arrived in Bristol about 6am and I was seriously stressed because it had been a long night and I was desperate for a ciggie, I also needed to get some ££s to pay for the taxi home, so my mum went to book a taxi as I stood in the cash machine line...next thing all hell broke loose.. Megan had kicked this boy, he kicked her back and she just flew at him (he was about 11/12)..his mother is screaming at me telling me to get my demented child under control and I swear I tried to reason with her..I really did..I explained she was autistic and apologised but she followed me outside to the taxi rank shouting and screaming that my daughter should be locked up..my mother was loading the bags into the taxi and i told the kids to get in, I apologized once more then walked towards the taxi.
Next thing I am flying backwards..she picked the wrong day to pick a fight is all I can say.

I didnt get that ciggie till 45 mins later when i got home.

Anyway enough of the doom and gloom......its all in the past and its CHRISTMAS!!

Next year I hope will be better but meanwhile I will find out how to set up a blog site :-)

yah too true itssssssssssssssssssssss christmas and just think hun no one else post boring threads about normal childrens lifes lol thomas escaped from challengers (have you heard about them?) the other week some boy laughed at him so he scaled the fence and toodleed off home  all on his own lol

so for all the kids HAPPY XMAS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thought I would give this an update.

I dont want to go into detail as to what happened after Christmas but a brief summary is that I demanded that she either be transfered to another school or the teacher that she didnt like be kept away from her.

The school agreed to a trial period when Megan would not cross paths with this teacher (poor bloke) and it WORKED..she was back to her old self after a few weeks and all was calm. After the month trial it was suggested that with some expert help he should be re-introduced into her classroom. She was forewarned that he would be teaching the class for the last 30 mins of the day. As the time got closer she went into complete panic and FINALLY they could see that she wasnt just playing up..she turned pure white to the stage she nearly pass out.

Anyway..to cut a long story short.

The damage had been already done, the local mainstream school she wants to go to where her friends go has "concerns" and dont feel they can give her what she needs (what a crock).

So she is now going to a special school..how cruel to let her think and believe she was "normal" and then take all that away.

Funny thing is...I insisted on her going to this school just outside of Bath which specialises in autistic kids and was told by other parents who have battled long and hard that there was "no chance" of me getting her in there as the waiting list was huge. I found out today (yesterday) that she is in.

I should be pleased but I have this nagging feeling that she should have been there from the start.

Its hard to put into words what living with autistic children is like, as a parent you bond and connect and see the world as they do because you have to!! If you dont ...there is nothing left.

Its a sad lonely world they live in.

Sorry to hear things didn't work out quite as you wanted, but hopefully it'll be onwards and upwards for your daughter once she starts the new school x

Suzanne

Well done for sticking with it and even though the kids world might by lonely at times, you are there to brighten in up each day. Keep the faith :) xx

 ;iagree;

And when they are all fast asleep there all the same...awwww bless em