blonde poker forum

So, Saturday arrives and im supposed to be going to DTD as a guest today and playing the £100 on Sunday Jane was coming with me and the weekend was long looked forward to, but as is the way of forward planning, one of the kids was poorly and it looked like we wouldnt make it after all ... we were both a bit miffed, but as always kids come first and there will be plenty of other chances to go ....

But wait ... Jane has an idea, "why dont you take the car and go anyway" ... hmmmmmmmmm why didnt I think of that ( Well I did really, but in situations like this you have to make sure that you arent the one that suggests it ... page 37 of the best selling book "How to get what you want while making your partner think it was their idea" :) )
I Obviously dithered and ummmmed and ahhhed for ages (all for effect you see, cant just jump on the suggestion and agree, far toooooo obvious) .. but after the recommended waiting time i got myself ready and after putting oil in the car and doing all the pre trip checks, i was all loaded and ready for the trip.

Sat Nav loaded with postcode and set to night settings ... and off i went, first stop Petrol station, fill up with fuel and start the journey to Notts ... just over 3 hours says the sat nav ... arrival due for around 11pm.

Music on the stereo and everything is going better than planned, the roads are clear and the weather is damp , miserable and windy, but inside the car I am warm and comfortable and looking forward to meeting up with some pals for the usual banter and entertainment.

Then it all goes horribly wrong, i am on the A43 just past Silverstone and about 2 miles from Junction 15 of the M1 which was (according to Sat Nav, 91 miles from my destination) when all of a sudden and without any warning it feels like the steering wheel has been wrenched from my hands and my life flashes before my eyes as the car goes into mental mode and veers off to the left and up the grass verge of the road ... sliding and spinning up a very steep siding ... im thinking SHIT its gonna flip" ... somehow after some sort of miracle on this steep verge I manage to spin the wheel and slide back down the verge and onto the road, I have no traction and the car is spinning like an ice dancer on crack across the motorway and goes nose first into the central reservation barrier and finally comes to a halt in the outside lane of the duel carriageway ... by this time, instinct takes over and i dont know how or why or what happened next, but i find myself out of the car and on the grass verge smoking a cig and dialling Janes number ... I dont remember getting out of the car and turning o the hazard lights ... I dont remember picking up my cigs and lighter and phone ... It must have been me on auto pilot, I always remember seeing something on telly about getting your fat arse out of a car after an accident and getting off the road to avoid any ensuing pile ups.

Im on the phone ... "Jane, I have crashed the car" ... I am in a bit of shock and after Jane realises I am not hurt she is very calm and starts the ball rolling with sorting out recovery and insurance etc ... I meanwhile phone the police to report my accident as the car is a hazard to traffic and there is no way i am getting back in the fucker, I have escaped with my life and I aint gonna be a hero and try and move the car.

The police arrive in what seems like seconds ... they ask where the driver is , I reply I am the driver ... they look at me as if I am deranged, but it becomes clear that there is no one else in the car and its only then that I notice the state of the car ... It looks like its been on a dirt track, it is covered in mud splatters like a rally car on a swamp stage , and the front drivers side was caved in and all down the drivers side was mangled. I had walked away without a scratch, bruise or bump ... HOW ?? fk knows, but one thing is for sure, I am blessed !! the police couldnt believe how the car had not flipped on the verge ... the driver of the recovery vehicle couldnt believe it either ... and looking back now .. I cant believe i walked away either !!

I am sat in the back of the police car and they explain that as a matter of policy they have to go through the normal procedure and I am breahalysed and questioned about the incident ... my breath test returns a reading of 000 .. as i knew it would, I havent had a drink for ages, and after answering all the usual questions, the car is pushed off the road and onto the hard shoulder so as to clear the road. next thing I know, the police are off, satisfied that there is nothing more for them to do ... no other vehicle involved, no obvious driver error or negligence, no evidence of speeding etc and no damage to the central reservation.

The recovery vehicle is next to arrive ... and thats when I realised that I had REALLY been blessed and had walked away unscathed physically from the accident, it kind of puts things into perspective when something like this happens, screw worrying about money, screw worrying about anything trivial, screw petty differences with people and above all, cherish what you have and enjoy it, cos you just never know when it might all get taken away from you.

I have been a lucky lucky boy in walking away from this .... there has to be some sort of payback for the good luck, there has to be .... oh yes, thats it, its after midnight on a Saturday night, and im in the middle of nowhere with no car and no idea of what the hell i do next ... but thats another story which I will get round to writing a bit later ...

Moral of the story? 

;indestructable;

Read ahead to page 38...ye lads can't pull anything over on us women without it coming back to haunt ya.   ;nemesis; 

Only messing.  Really glad you're ok.   

Wow glad you are ok Kev, as you said in your post its amazing how you managed to come out of it totally unscathed.

Glad you escaped unharmed.

I had a similar escape a few years ago, it puts a bit of perspective between you and thne badbeats!

Bloody hell!  Glad you're OK fella.  Like you said, the car is a lump of metal - you're a much more important lump.

Do you know what happened?  Did a tyre blow out?

you've had a result there, jesus.

You let a little thing like a minor car accident get in the way of poker?

I don't know what to say.

 ;nana;

OK, that that's Kev's version of the accident. The true story is probably more along the lines off there being a little dent in the bumper because he was trying to run over a cat.


Have to say though..one of the best trip reports I've read..except for telling us whether you made it to DTD or not ;)

Very Glad to hear that you are ok.. Someone was looking after you (must be the clean living).

have you found out what went wrong with the car?

Wow!! Glad your alright fella.

Reminds me off a crash I had a few years back when I rolled my car into a field,escaped unscathed but it certainly knocked a few mph off the speed I drive now.

Glad to hear you are ok Kev.

glad you're ok Kev.  Did the AA get you to dtd ok?

That is where all it all came unstuck. I have full RAC cover (the one that takes you to your destination or home ect) however, as it was an accident and not a breakdown they won't get involved. The insurance arranges pick up of only the car as it was undrivable (and always will be LOL) .

Glad to hear your ok kev, sounds like you ran good with the crash!

but the real question is: IF you could've been dropped off at your destination or at home, which would you choose?!?

Pleased to hear that you're unharmed Kev, which seems miraculous in the circumstances.

You run good...

 ;sleep;   =     ;shitfanhit;   =     ;ashamed;    =     ;joestrummer;    =     ;smackedbottom;

didnt fall asleep, was wide awake and fully alert.

were you listening to the spurs game on the radio????

Was Joking...... ;marks;

No, I was listening to fleetwood mac ... could that be a contributory factor LOL

Glad to hear you are in fine fettle.

snoops

Glad you're OK Kev.  A few years ago I was driving a car which suddenly made all the same noises you described.  Next thing I knew, the front nearside wheel flew off it and into the grass verge of the M1.  I was in the middle lane at the time and how no-one got hurt (the wheel just missed another car in the inside lane and would have took someone's head off) was down to pure luck.  Your situation sounds far worse but I can understand how you felt at the time.

Turns out where you crashed is about 20 minutes away from my house!  If I'd have known that at the time I could have got you out of the rain for a bit!

Incredible story which I'm glad your able to tell us.

Stay lucky!

Well, rumours have it they certainly have a better defensive record, tusk tusk......

I am sure Saturday night I saw Chubbs with Air Rifle heading about 91 miles from DtD mumbling about undesirables from down South ;)

Glad you OK Kev, sounds like you run well in 50/50's that matter.
The beauty of DtD is its going nowhere.

blimey!  Glad you're ok Kev

as long as you ok kev thats the main thing, take it easy for a few days m8

Glad your ok Kev  :)

Just admit it Kev, you had enough of driving a pink girlie car lol

Phew, close one Kev. Glad you were OK mate.

Glad your ok Kev, now where can I get a copy of that book ?

The book is available to every man in a relationship, it is found at the back of your mind, under the section marked "lessons learned during a lifetime) ;)

btw Kev..ITB is looking to buy a cheap car..you wouldn't have one you could sell him, do you?

Cheers to everyone for their nice messages etc ..

As promised here is the aftermath story.

Its Now past midnight on a Saturday night and the recovery truck is loading the dead car on the back of the loader ... its not a problem, we have fully comp insurance, i will just get them to take me to Nottingham and they can drop a courtesy car off on Sunday at DTD and i can drive that home and wait for the car to get fixed or written off and then we can go from there ... simple, right ??  .... WRONG !!!

it transpires that if i had broken down, or been involved in an accident with another car, no problem, all the above would be fulfilled. But as it was an accident with no one else involved the policy is .. Fuck off Mr Shepherd, we are gonna transport the car to the nearest drop off garage and its up to you what you do from here ... WHAT !! I have just escaped unscathed from a nasty smash, i am a bit shaken up and in a bit of shock and these morons want to just leave me at the side of a fkin road in the middle of nowhere .. fantastic.

Mr Recovery vehicle driver says that its bollox and will run me into Northampton and he will try and find me a hotel at least ... he gets on to his office and tells them to phone my insurance company and tell them that if they authorise the mileage payments he will take me and the car back to Portsmouth ... the insurance company decline saying that procedure needs to be followed ... thankyou Hastings Direct, you are a shower of shit and we wont be bothering you with any more business after this is all sorted out.

So off we go into Northampton, the nice man from the recovery firm drives me around for ages stopping off at every hotel and guest house that he knows of ... no room at the inn... fk me, its the Christmas nativity play in real life going on here !! ... Meanwhile Jane has been busy trying to find ways to get me home and we find the first train from Northampton to start the trek back to Portsmouth leaves at 06.45 AM ... well its now 1am and im clueless as to what to do now. I have no bags, i just took a change of clothes with me for the Sunday and just had them on the back seat ... but now I have to take all the personal possessions out of the car and carry them all bloody night ... I manage to find a carrier bag, and the nice recovery man finds a box and I empty out the car as best i can ... and laden down with my booty I am stood outside a lock up compound wondering WTF I am going to do until 6.45 when i can get  a train.

Suddenly I have a brain wave ... A casino .. I have my passport with me (needed it to get in DTD) so I can join the Northampton Casino, stay in there until 6am and the onto the train station for the first train out.

Laden down with my bag and box I get to the casino and join up .. ahhhhhh finally, warmth and a chance to get a coffee a sarnie and chill for a few hours before escaping and heading home... all was going well and at 10 to 6 i left casino for the Train station ..... I go to ticket machine at the station and purchase my ticket to Portsmouth ... Itinerary as follows..

Northampton - London Euston
London Euston - Waterloo (tube)
Waterloo - Portsmouth

bit of a ball ache with a big box and a carrier bag, but hey ho... i will be home by lunch time.... WRONG !!!

The 06.45 train now transpired to be a coach due to engineering works on the line ... fkin neverends !!  i board the coach and ask the driver what time we are expected in Euston ... "9.40am " was the reply ... I couldnt help laughing, 3 hours to get from Northampton to London , I could bloody walk quicker !

finally we get to Euston and i struggle off the bus and onto the underground with my baggage, not too bad, a pain free journey and i am at Waterloo... just in time to dash for the 11am train to Portsmouth ... I make it and settle in my seat for the last leg of my journey home, nothing can go wrong now can it, everything will be fne and i will soon be hoe right ? .... WRONG !!

the heavens open and it is pissing down with rain, you cant even see out of the train windows the rain is lashing them that hard ... we get to Guildford and the announcement comes after sitting in Guildford train station for about 5 minutes ... "Due to a fallen tree on the line we are likely to be delayed here for a while, we will let yu know as soon as possible when we get more details"  ... 20 mins later .... "There has been ANOTHER fallen tree on the line and this train will terminate here, please see station staff for further details" .. OH THANK YOU GOD, save me from a car crash and then give me the journey from hell home afterwards..

I get off the train still laden down with my baggage and strop off for a smoke outside the station, I cant be arsed to speak to anyone and I pray that no one speaks to me or i will most likely bite their heads off .... I am listening out for announcements and quite honestly starting to lose the will to live .. I am tired, cold wet and fkin miserable now, and no end to the nightmare in sight..

suddenly about 90 minutes after arriving in Guildford, the announcement comes that the line was clear and in 15 minutes a train will leave for Portsmouth .. HOORAYYYY ... by now every man and his frigging dog has turned up and decided they want to travel to Portsmouth, so the train is jam packed and me and my baggage dont have a seat .. oh marvellous !! I find a space in the lobby by the doors and thats where i stay until the train reaches Portsmouth  ....

I have a nice hot cuppa awaiting me when I get in and a big hug ... amazing how these things kind of wash away all the pain of the previous 24 hours, there is no better medicine than a brew and a hug to make everything alright in the world.

So, that sums it up really.... what have i learnt from this ??

Check your insurance policy with a fine tooth comb, find out exactly what you are entitled to in the event of the same thing happening, oh yeah, CANCEL HASTINGS DIRECT, and remember to throw a brick at the TV next time that annoying little twat comes on, you know.. "JUST GIVE HASTINGS A CALL ... 0800 double 0 ten sixty six"

But most of all at the end of the day, i walked away ... I am telling the tale ... I am thankfull for that, and if the pain of getting home was the price i had to pay, then pay it I did ... ALL'S WELL THAT ENDS WELL.

Motor Insurance companies..... ::)  that sounds horrendous customer service

Hope you rescued The Verve CD..priorities!!!

Sorry for chuckling through the train part of the story, lol what a mood you must have been in!

Message to Ginger: I'm glad Kev's OK.

Message to Kev:  You muppet! Get in car - drive from A to B, it's not that complicated is it?
                         Not. Get in car, drive from A to ?, then go back to A via C, D and E.

And this -

did remind me of a conversation I had with you a while ago where I may have suggested that my former employers weren't the best of bets to have your insurance with.

It's a shame you missed out, hopefully you'll manage to actually make it to DtD next time. :)

The Verve CD is still in the auto changer  ::) can't trust a man to remember the important things...

The saga doesn't end there, it just keeps getting worse. Yesterday when I called to find out about removing the stereo/auto changer from the boot and all the other stuff still left behind they informed me that they didn't actually know where my car was!

Neverends!

I'd call it quits, the pink steering wheel cover should be given a ceremonial burial though

OI, it was my girly car and I will have as much girly pink in it as I want!

Funny though, he did remove the keys from the fluffy pink teddy keyring and pull off the pink seat belt covers before he left, I think he jinxed it!

you should just have been a good girl and go to Sheila's wheels or Diamond or something ;)

What an horrendous ordeal, Kev.  So sorry to hear of all of this  (have had experience of writing a car off on a dual-carriageway at night, in rain, by self, due to other stupid lying, noninsured drivers - but none of it was as traumatic as this accident and subsequent journey home). Tis amazing how quickly one can remove oneself from a damaged car straddling lanes on a busy road.

We are so sorry you didn't make it to DtD (the pair of you) but very relieved that you are safe and uninjured.

Take care all of you.

B&H

Go away for the weekend to play poker.

Dont get to play any poker.

Still come back with a "Bad Beat" story  ;whistle;

Just to say once again, Glad you are ok

Are you at Luton this week Kev for the festival??

How are you getting there??

you asking him for a lift?

Timothy's asked me to pass on a message.  He's thinking of getting a new car and wondered if you'd consider being his crash test dummy...just to be sure the car is safe and all. 

gonna have to miss out matey :(

Glad you're ok. However hurt that I live at junc 15 of the M1 with 3 spare rooms, plus a kettle, and you didn't ask for help! What are blondites for if not to help out????  ;nemesis;

I could have given you a bed for the night, driven you to bedford or kettering to get the other train and you'd have been home for lunch......sigh.

I think i am going to invest in a phone which connect to the internet from anywhere and actually opens the forum up..

Anywhere in the country there will be help... Glad ur ok Kev, a bad beat story indeed, but a new car can be bought !!

I would have done Trace, but I have read your blog .... I didnt want a mention LOL

It seems i run a lot better than you Kev, i nearly had a serious crash on the way back from DTD on Sunday morning. Two cars decided to collide on the M1 right infront of me, the weather was not so great and instead of the car actually responding to any control inputs it decided it was just going to aquaplane instead.....marvellous. Next thing i know i am sliding across the M1 at a 45 degree angle somehow missing the traffic in the other lanes, luckily i got grip just as i hit the hard shoulder and managed to stop the slide just before heading off the motorway. The next problem was the 2 cars heading straight towards me who had crashed into each other, instinct told me to floor it and somehow they managed to go shooting off the motorway just meters behind me. Somehow no-one was hurt and myself and 'the cat' managed to escape unscathed.

Rungoodaments.

Sometimes being a house mouse is a good thing.

Sounds like a nightmare Kev but as you said at least you made the trip home..somebody up there and down here luvs ya.

You too Flushy and Rod..are we sure there was no rival casinos with snipers out there?

I'm glad I took the train to Nottingham on Sat!

Also glad everyone is ok!

LOL - I've got another 2 years to go before we get to today - and unless you are either really naughty or really good at something you won't get a mention.......read it quick though - I've been asked to remove it from the 'public domain'!! Not going to obviously!!!  ;ifm;

Wow, only just read this. Glad you are ok Kev.
 :)up

Different Cat but ty!

I keep trying to copy what you did Kev....

Managed to leave the road today but still somehow did no damage to the car (well nothing major)

My head hurts a bit though! lol bangheadgainstcaraments

Jeez James, be careful. You kids drive way too fast.

If you get hurt, who we gonna be able to mock?

Seriously,. I'm glad you are OK mate.

ffs flushy. Sell the bloody car and go back to using the trains before you start to run bad

Just driven to Milton Keynes and back ... happy to report an incident free trip LOL ... flushy, listen to Uncle tikay, flog the cock extension and buy a hummer xxx

I wasn't actually driving that fast as it happens, just tried to accelerate off a roundabout a bit to quickly in the wet.

Headache gone, car still covered in grass and mud....

Clean it, polish it, sell it.

Then buy a 4x4.

Rear-wheel drive, powerful car, wet roads, you have to drive like a big girl (no offence to big girls). 

None taken

Sorry to hear that. 

Tyres can make a really big difference too.

When I had Yokohamas on my car (factory fit) it was down right scary in the wet!

A day on an airfield with an instructor can be eye opening too.

So can a day on a tandem with a pastry chef