blonde poker forum

I've tried blog blogging (as opposed to blonde blogging) before, but lose interest after a couple of posts when I can't see the point. This time, I do have a purpose, as a padawan writer, it's like my morning exercise. I'm trying to make a wee 200-400 word addition every day.


Just for you, I'll pop it up here for about a month or so.

Just a warning for anyone wanting to read though, it really has got almost nothing to do with poker...

Day 1 - Accidental shoplifting.

I'll save people from the long version of why I'm here. Basically, I'm doing a correspondence course in creative writing, and it's encouraged me to keep a blog, so here I am with the first post.

I'm told that a writer needs to "organize their time very well."
In my experience this is code for, "there's a shit heap of work involoved," but hopefully it's something I'm going to enjoy.

I'm keen to do well, so am adopting pretty much everything that is encouraged at this stage. Keeping a cuttings file from the daily papers, looking up words I don't know and being more organized in general.

One of the other things it wants me to do is keep a notebook in my pocket at all times, so it's handy to jot down any ideas that come into my head. I was looking in Woolworths yesterday for something that might fit the bill.

The smallest notebook they had was bound in hard card. Before I spent 50p of my hard earned cash, I wanted to see if it would be a comfortable size. Without much thought, I took it from the shelf and placed it in my pocket.

That was probably not the best idea in the world, a staff member in the same aisle saw what I was doing and went to get the security guard. Thankfully I evaded arrest, and am free to do more stupid things tomorrow.

Day 1 Results : +$0 (+$0 total)
ROI : 0% (after 0 tournaments)

Day 2 - The joy of poo

At this point, I'd like to introduce you to my wife Coco (not her real name) and my daughter Molly, who is nearly two months old.

Until this week, Molly had been blessed with a plethora of dirty nappies. Coco fell ill last week, and the resultant dehydration had been passed onto Molly through her milk. Since then, a bout of constipation has had us all a little concerned.

The books tell you this kind of thing is normal, but as first time parents, you can't help but worry a little. You can tell when your wee girl is uncomfortable, and we were all rather on edge for three or four days, waiting for the movement. In my defence, I was 900% more relaxed about it than the missus.

When the poo finally came today, the excitement and celebration was perhaps a little out of proportion to the actual event. Sadly I missed it, being at work, but I got a call on the mobile, and was sure to pass on the happy news to all my colleagues. It's ok, they're already used to expecting the odd "boring dad" story.

My theory is that Molly was just holding it in for as long as possible to wind up her parents. Not much to do when you're a wee baby, so you have to take the craic where you can.
Just in case this hypothesis is incorrect, I've started to force feed Coco diluting juice to keep both Mother and Baby properly lubed up from now on.

Day 2 Results : +$0 (+$0 total)
ROI : 0% (after 0 tournaments)

Day 3 - Card Jungle

Yesterday was official, get rid of the Christmas decorations day, when room has to be found in the attic for all the dancing ladies and leaping lords. For us here in Stenhousemuir, it marks an unusual occurence. The first time in about a year we've had no greetings cards sitting on top of the television.

Coco's side of the family are definately predisposed to the sending of cards at the slightest provocation. Last year we've had a constant stream....

- "Happy Birthday" for the missus.
- "Congratulations on passing your driving test" again, for the missus.
- "Congratulations on getting pregnant" I didn't even know they did these.
- "Congratulations on your engagement"
- "Happy Birthday" for me this time.
- "Congratulations on your new job" to acknowlede the relinquishing of my status as professional poker bum.
- "Congratulations on your new home"
- "Congratulations on your wedding day"
- "It's a girl!.....congratulations"
and then of course the obligatory
- "Merry Christmas"

A busy year it has certainly been. Now we have a couple of weeks before the birthday cards for Coco start rolling in, and it starts all over again.
Who knows how crazy it will be on top of the television in 2008?

Day 3 Results : +$0 (+$0 total)
ROI : 0% (after 0 tournaments)

Day 4 - Team game, of two halves.

I'm currently working as an assistant manager (or ass man if you prefer) at Burger King. It's a job I don't particularly enjoy at the moment. There's no real team dynamic, people don't care if something goes wrong, so long as it's not seen as being their fault. Communication problems and mistakes are frequent, the emphasis is placed on bickering as to who messed up, rather than fixing what went wrong. I'm slowly trying to change this way of thinking, but it is an uphill struggle.

I read in the papers this morning that the first Monday back to work in January is not only the buisiest day for divorce lawyers, as people decide to split over the festive period, but also the time of year when most people leave their jobs looking for something new. Oh well, thought I, absolutely no point in looking for a new job just now, I'll stick at the burgers and chips as there will be too much competition for all the decent roles.

Sharing this with my Coco in the car, she put a positive spin on it for me. If everyone is leaving their jobs, that means there will be loads of vacancies. There's no harm in trying.

I always thought I was the optimist in our marriage. I'm usually the one who tries to work out how something can be achieved, when Coco has already written it off. I'm also usually the one who tries to get on with people that have already been deemed bad eggs by the missus.

Today I was shown that that this is not always the case. My wife is flexible enough to be the positve one when I'm feeling negative. So while it may not feel like a team at the office, I'm thankful that it still does at home.


Day 4 Results : -$0 (-$0 total)
ROI : 0% (after 0 tournaments)

the best stuff you've written thusfar Tank. I shall be looking forward to reading this every morning..even before TK's diary :)

nice read thomas, keep um comin.

Always knew you were an ass man.

LOL Here's my read with my morning cuppa for the next month!

:iagree:  Good to hear from you again Tank, great posts :)

Best wishes to you and the family

+EV

nice one Tank.  Good move doing the creative writing course - I've always enjoyed reading your stuff and if there's any justice it'll be your writing that'll be raking in the dough in the future xx

aaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrr

n1 Thomas.

think you'll have plenty of fans for this one, no sure why but there's something about your writing style that sucks people in.

gg wp

wot!?!?!?!
























No comma? (yet)

 ;D :)up 8)

Looks good from here.

I'm working tomorrow morning rather early. Whenever this happens, I'll get the days entry up the night before instead.

I would hate to think of Tightend's biscuits going soggy as he waits for me to post.

Day 5 - All roads lead to Leeds

It was my first day off for a while, and I used it as an oppurtunity to whore myself (along with the old vitae statistics) around the local recruitment agencies.
My current gig isn't a complete misery, but if I can find something with more traditional Monday to Friday, nine to five, shift patterns then all the better for both my family and my social life. The prospect of an office job, where you can do as you please every single weekend, is one that makes my mouth water.

Whether I get a new job or not, the plan for how I spend one weekend in May is to remain unchanged. The Kaiser Chiefs are playing a massive hometown gig, at Elland Road football stadium. I love the Kaiser Chiefs, and I quite like The Enemy too (who are playing in support.)
A few old pals from my hometown are going to make the journey down to Leeds with me, and I'm looking forward to it all while rubbing my hands together with glee.

The icing on the cake is the other support act, my guilty pleasure of 2007, a certain Miss Kate Nash.
Made of Bricks was my borderline boiler album last year. I know I'm not supposed to like that sort of thing, I know I'm not a fourteen year old girl, but nobody told Windows Media Player this, so the software was happy to play it for me as if I were.

There's a certain rawness and imperfection about her lyrics that appeals to me, let me try and explain what I mean by that....
Pretend for a moment that all female singers on the market today are students in a classroom, and all their albums are a particulary tricky bit of maths homework. Kate Nash would be the kid who may not get the best grade, but at least it's obvious that she never got her parents to do it for her.

I'm morbidly curious as to how she'll get on playing in front of a stadium full of people who didn't exactly come to see her. She will either triumph and win my eternal respect, or stink the place up and help me get over this little "chav-pop" phase that I'm going through.

Have to agree on Kate Nash, as it would happen was listening to made of bricks when reading your post!

Hope you enjoy The Kaiser Chiefs gig, off myself as I went to Uni with James so I got my freebies! :)

Day 6 - The evolution of a gambler (part one)

In films and television, if someone takes a punt on a horse, or plays a hand of cards, they will almost certainly be either threatened by loan sharks and/or pawning family heirlooms before the next ad break. They always win their first few bets, and the reason behind their downfall seems cut and dried, the addictive adrenaline rush.

I've met many gamblers in my time around card clubs and casinos, only a very small percentage of them are missing fingers as a result of overdue payments. Gambling issues don't have to be dramatic to cause problems, and the person I'm most qualified to talk about in this regard is myself.

Loads of gamblers use betting systems. While they all tend to follow some variation on a few common themes, the practioner usually believes it is their original idea, that they have found a way to exploit a weakness in the system.
A post on the blonde poker forum today reminded me of how I got started. Somebody was talking about exploring their version of the Martingale system. I tried, alongside others, to waffle a bit of maths and highlight the fallacy behind it all. Maybe the poster will take heed, maybe they won't. I guess everyone has to find their own path in life.

I learned some expensive lessons on my path, which passed through the likes of roulette, fruit machines and video poker. I didn't want to just shrug my shoulders and chalk my losses up to experience. Failure is a tough thing for the psyche to take and a natural defence is to deny and persevere.
Instead of dealing with my mistakes, there was a stubborness within me that I would eventually find a modicum of success down the route through which I had already invested so much. Gambling problems, I believed, required gambling solutions.



I don't want to go over the self imposed word count max of 400 per entry, so part two comes tomorrow.
It's not going to be as depressing, honest.

crickey Tank..6.25 in the morning..couldn't you write a piece that didn't make me wanna top myself? ;)

Liking Kate Nash along with Flushy....


Knew i was right...

Day 7- the evolution of a gambler (part two)

Research led me away from the house games and onto playing poker, where superior play, relative to your opponents, can more than compensate for the house's take. I was actually making money, and it wasn't long before I quit my job and went pro.

Professional poker has been good fun and profitable, but I find myself a few years older with nothing in the bank account to show this, all the modest winnings have been spent as I went along.

Thankfully when the family responsibilites came along and I got a real job, there was no real urge to gamble anymore. I may have originally replaced one addiction with another, but after 3 years it had died completely.

As we move forward, with a view to me getting a permanent career as a teacher, I have the obstacle of studying and supporting the family financially to contend with. Coco will eventually go back to work, but it’s anyone’s guess as to whether we’ll be in a position to start my degree this September, or have to wait till next year.

So that’s why I’m looking for a secondary income at the moment. I thought I’d try once more through poker, and it didn’t work out. This is perhaps for the best, as gambling has been a major excuse for some chronic under-achieving on my part. I was just keen, as before, to not let all the blood sweat and years I’d invested go to waste.

It needn‘t all have been a waste though, I can draw heavily on my experience in my writing. Who knows, if I approach this course with enthusiasm and determination, maybe my time as a professional gambler will prove profitable afterall.



Part of my first assignment is to prepare a piece explaining why I want to be a writer. I will be using a version of this entry.

Yeah, sorry about that.

Normal service will be resumed tomorrow.

Thanks mate..It's my first read :)

I'm enjoying reading these snippets of your life Tank  ;hattip;

Great read Tank really enjoy your stories. Looks like your going the opposite way to me career wise going into teaching, instead of getting out, gl.

same with me, i'm giving up my job next friday and i'm going to give this poker playing lark a go for a while :D

enjoying these greatly thomas. I was once a proffesional fruit machine player/student and it paid for everything, only house edge gambling i've ever won at.

Day 8 - Making broom broom

After 2,156,732 lessons, the world's worst driver is finally ready to book their test. February the 29th is the big day, and not before time. Tomorrow I start work at 6am and have to fork out £16 on a taxi (all the trains and buses are still asleep). I have this shift two or three times a week, so passing my test will save us best part of £200 every month.

Learning to drive was something I never bothered with when I was younger, I just made sure that I lived right next to wherever I needed to be. I started instruction last year, with a view to driving Coco to the hospital when Molly was due. That didn't exactly pan out, as it turns out I'm rather slow at picking up practical skills.

I've been through four different instructors. The first was an elderly gentleman, who politely asked me to find someone else as his heart simply couldn't take it any longer.

The second was a tall drink of piss, who I left waiting outside my door while I was playing the final table of a poker tournament. Very rude of me, but EV is EV, and I wasn't really responding to his tuition anyway.

The third was the chap who taught Coco to drive, and he was fantastic, but only a part-time instructor. After a recent promotion at his day job, he had less and less free time for lessons, so I had to move on.

The latest guy is called Obi-Wan Kenobi, and although he could bore the hind legs off a trainspotter, he's an absolute miracle worker when it comes to teaching idiots like me how to make broom broom. With this guys help, come March, I could be tearing down a road near you!

stay on the west coast!

FYP

GFY

MFI

B&Q

DIY

TYVM

Day 9 - The andrex reflex

I have a theory that during the first few months of a child's life, when they are still very fragile, a father's hand eye co-ordination is temporarily heightened, thus increasing the chance of catching falling babies that may otherwise land on pointy spikes.

Today I fumbled a toilet roll, as can happen to the best of us.

Although it was headed bowlward, an instinctive knee dip and lighting fast flick of the wrist had me wedge it against the seat, and in so doing, keeping it nice and dry.

This has never happened to me before, my only chance of avoiding an ugly fishing incident in the past would occur if the Andrex bounced to the left or the right. Today was different, paternal instincts within me are switching themselves on without my knowledge. It saves me money, it saves the environment, and it saves me getting my fingers covered in piss.

It's all very exciting, although I can't help but wonder if this particular evolutionary advance might have been more practical if it somehow served to reduce my chances of dropping stuff in the first place.


Back to the real world then, and I have not received any e-mails back from the recruitment companies. It looks like I'll have to find a new job the old fashioned way, by getting my finger out and doing it on my own.
Having never been very comfortable with the proposition of selling myself, I dread job hunts. At least there's no pressure of a ticking clock over my shoulders. I can take my time, and hopefully find something half decent.

Luckily he's about as central as it gets.

Great stuff T, keep it up  :)up

Day 10 - Do not disturb

The wife and I usually go to bed around about the same time. She'll be giving Mollypops her final feed while I tinker around downstairs for a bit. By the time I join them, my wee girl has usually just entered the land of nod.

While the child could sleep through a hurricane in a discotheque if needs be, us adults still feel the need to whisper to one another until her slumber is more established.

Whispering, as I'm familiar with it, is a way to convey important information in any sort of environment where too much noise is a bad thing. "Can you please pass me the insulin," would be an example of a legitimate whisper in the cinema.
In a good whisper, the listener should only just hear what is being said, perhaps having to watch the whisperers lips in order to fully understand.

So I was somewhat bemused by the less than essential details being communicated in Coco's fifteen minute whispered monologue last night. What shops she was intending to visit the next day, and the items she might purchase therein.

Pretending to listen is that much harder when, in order to maintain authenticity, you have to make a pretence of really concentrating on both their voice and lip movements. In the end, I gave up on pretending, and had to actually take in what was being said.

This resulted in something even more bizarre than the 15 minute whispered monologue. I was moved to engage the wife in a 20 minute whispered debate on thrifty spending.

 rotflmfao

Day 11 - Ernest Heming's way

This blog is called "fighting with writing" and not "my dull-ass musings on fatherhood" so I suppose it's about time I told you what's going on with regard to pens and pieces of paper.

One of the very first things the course teaches you is a how to keep coming up with creative ideas. I've had problems with this in the past, when I've written articles for blondepoker.com, I found myself completely drying up and not making any new ones for weeks. Ernest Hemingway tells us how to get over this by simply "applying the seat of the pants to the seat of the chair." A very no nonsense approach, that leaves no room for feeling sorry for yourself and citing writer's block.

Claiming that I have nothing to write about, or that I am waiting for inspiration, are notions in which I am no longer allowed to indulge. I've loads of exercises to try if I'm ever struggling and they all make sense. One is to write a little something rough (such as this blog) as a good way to get the brain warmed up in the morning.

That small notepad I acquired from Woolworths is getting full of random notes. I might have to lift another soon. A familiar site in our house is that of a naked man streaming down the hall, he had a good idea in the bath but forgot to bring a pen.
Coco has threatened to throw the thing in a puddle, as I'll often scribble something down in the middle of a conversation, and not tell her what it is. More often than not, the note is not about her, I'm just a man who can't resist a wind-up.

Day 12 - The Col-gate scandal

After years of nagging and the occasional bleeding gum, I agreed to register with the local dentist last month. I'd previously been putting it off indefinitely. I'm a man you see, and that is how we're meant to behave.

Coco mentioned something about free dental treatment being available to me for six months after having a child. As my purse strings are considerably tighter than my testicles, I decided to bite the bullet and get it sorted.

Thankfully for this self destructive procrastinator, the earliest available appointment was safe and far away in the future. March, a date so distant as to not trouble my sleep even once.

I was called today with some apparent "good news." They'd had a cancellation, and I can come in later this week instead.

Bugger!
I was banking on the world being underwater before March. There's much less chance of the necessary chain of cataclysmic weather events occurring before Thursday.

You never know your luck though, so I'll check the internet's meteorological predictions. I know what my prediction is...

(http://daboogiedownbronx.mlblogs.com/da_bronx_bombers/images/mrt_1.gif)

...pain!

I pity the fool who just worked out how to put pictures in his blog.

lol wimpaments

Da iawn Thomas, mwy

Day 13 - My top five thingymebobs.

Nine weeks into my child farming career, here's the top five gadgets I couldn't live without.


5 - Deaf person's alarm clock

I like to wake up early, but if it were via the BEEEEEP of a regular alarm, that might unsettle Mollypops.
This lives under my pillow, and silently shakes me to a state of instant alertness.


4- Vibrating baby chair.

You might love your daughter unconditionally, but sometimes you need to read the paper and have some soup. Whatever the need, you can pop her into the chair, and she is happy as larry with minimal supervision.


3- The baby carrier

You might look a bit of a ninny walking around the town with a baby on your chest, but the daddy-daughter bonding this device facilitates means that you just don't care. The Baby Bjorn model doesn't look as goofy as some do, and it is well worth the money.


2- The changing table.

Kneeling down on the floor ten times a day isn't my idea of fun and it would be hard to remain jovial while swapping nappies. My daughter might pick up on this and grow to dislike changing time.
No danger of this though, as changing her at the table is a piece of piss. You have all the bits you need handy, in the baskets at the side, and there is absolutely no need to bend.


1- The tummy tub

I was originally against the purchase of this...

"We've already got a baby bath, and 25 quid for something that is essentially just a plastic bucket is absolutely daft."

It may well be just a plastic bucket, but I'd spend the money again for the simple reason that Mollypops absolutely loves it.
We had become used to her screaming down the house whenever she had a bath. We would only put parts of her body in the water at a time, and endeavoured to get the whole thing over with as quickly as possible.
In the tub however, the water comes right up to her neck. She enjoys the immersion so much that bath time has become play time. You can't put a price on all those little splashes and smiles.

(I'll put a photo up later today)

Absolutely superb idea to use a non noisy alarm clock.

Here's a picture of the tummy tub

Apparently it's not just a bucket, it's a bucket shaped like a womb.

Day 14 - Just bring it.

So it was 'D day' yesterday, that is the day I had to visit the dentist.

Two ladies interfered with my gnashers for a while as they spoke in code to one another. I lay back on the chair, thinking of England. (That is thinking of England losing to Scotland at rugby.)

The final verdict, I need about a dozen fillings, and am booked in for four half hour appointments over the course of the next month. Quite a lot of work, and the prospect might have bothered me a week ago, but not anymore.

I think I was scared of the dentist's chair because the last time I sat in one, I was practically still a boy. I'm a fully grown hairy bloke now, with a quarter century's worth of trials behind me. I can handle all that comes before me, and I'm certainly not going to be wimpish when it comes to a bit of drilling.

Of course this new found bravado has nothing whatsoever to do with my new dentist being an attractive young Irish girl. Well, maybe just a little.

(http://bp3.blogger.com/_j7j_7E2Sz1k/R5BOKuuHLmI/AAAAAAAAABM/gh-fQT0cZ_E/s1600-h/bewitched.jpg)

Illustrating my blog today, it was a difficult choice between a picture of decayed teeth, or 90's girl band bewitched. I think I made the right call.

pictures of the young Irish assistant much appreciated. :)

You can see through it as well, does that make it a womb with a view?



 ;marks;

Had forgotten about this, but glad I decided to check it out again.  Great read!

Surely the title of this thread is wrong now? You're telling me you still havent played a single sit and go? ;)

you've picked your dentist well. the only reason I ever went to see mine was that she was a hot Irish chick, somehow made the prospect of having someone stick bits of metal in my mouth much better

Wow its a small or just a cooincidental world. My dentist is a young hot irish thing too, she is also my wife's dentist, i told wife i thought she was hot and asked her to pass the message on the next time she goes. Hope the feeling is mutual..

Oh and for the record an irish accent on a girl adds +2 to their score imo.

their 'score'??  go on then, how does this scoring system work?  I am intrigued! ;D

y'know like outta ten..

ie shes a 7/10 etc..

Or the old joke...

"My whole life, I never f**ked a ten, but one night, I f**ked 5 twos."

I hate it when you go to bed with a 10 and they get swapped for a 2 while you sleep.

Day 15 - Walking softly

Amongst new people, I tend to place a higher premium on being liked rather than getting my point of view across, or even defending myself. When there are problems, I don't beleive in passing the buck.

There are always some folks who will take advantage of those with a good nature, and a lot of these folks seem to work in my shop. I take a lot of shit, and haven't given much back. It's common to blame me whenever things go wrong, and it's rare for me to complain.

I'm the only manager there who hasn't worked in Burger-King for years and been brought up through the system. It has taken me a few months to build up a similar level of competence in the hands-on aspects of my job.
I'm there now at last. Being liked was not enough, now I've finally forged a degree of my colleagues respect too.

I have found that being assertive is a skill you need to use or lose. I had lost it, but now that it's back, I'm free to kick some ass and take some names. I might get a new job, but in the meantime I'm going to make damn sure I enjoy this one.

I'm still going to be a nice guy, I always speak to people as human beings and stuff. It's just that now, I'm going to be carrying a big stick to ensure they do the same.

Day 16 - Re-drafting the mad rant

I'm unhappy with the quality of writing in yesterday's post. It is the least coherent piece in the whole blog as far as I'm concerend.

When I read it back last night, even I was unable to follow the reasoning process and I was the person who wrote it. Sentences and paragraphs seemed in no way connected with one another.

As a quick exercise, I'll try to express the same sort of ideas in a couple of short paragraphs. Hopefully, it'll make more sense this time...


At work, I'm becoming more confident and have been super-sizing my assertiveness.

I was previously worried this kind of change would damage relationships that I had built up with my colleagues. Thankfully this is not the case, as it turns out, you can lead and like people at the same time. They respect you a lot more than when you are just trying to be their friend.

It's an ongoing attitude shift, that I still need to work on. The whole shop, especially me, will be much happier when everyone knows who the boss is.



Today is my day off. For a bit of mental and physical exercise, I'm going to climb Wallace's monument. I've never been before, but pass it on the train twice a day.

(http://william-wallace.navajo.cz/william-wallace.jpg)

The physical part will be provided courtesy of the 246 steps.
I have an assignement to write a piece on the atmosphere of somewhere local, so I'll be bringing up a notepad to take care of the mental side of things.

I hope its quiet up there for you or there won't be a lot of mental exercise. It can be like Sauchihall St but it is beautiful and you can get a great view of the Ochils and Glenochil:) You've probably already seen the inside of that anyway! lol

Bye the way, your bucket is not like any womb I've ever seen but the wee one looks as if she's loving it:)

Hey mad, it was ok today thankfully, not too busy.

The Ochil's really are amazing, but I think they're even more impressive when you look at them from sea level, grander somehow.

Day 17 - Monumental

The National Wallace Monument was worth the visit, for the view if nothing else.

(http://i264.photobucket.com/albums/ii177/tigmong/ochilview2.jpg)
(http://i264.photobucket.com/albums/ii177/tigmong/stirlingview3.jpg)

I'm no photographer, I just point a camera at something pretty and press the button. It's something I'd like to learn how to do properly one day, but I'm learning so much other stuff at the moment, it's important I don't get side-tracked.


(http://i264.photobucket.com/albums/ii177/tigmong/monument1.jpg)


At the base of the tower there is a gift shop, where visitors can buy t-shirts that claim "I've climbed the 246 steps." This troubles me for a few reasons.

Firstly, shouldn't they really be selling these things at the top of the tower? I was half tempted to purchase one and then not climb the stairs out of sheer badness.

Secondly, how lazy a life must some people lead? To be so proud of the fact you climbed a couple stairs once, that you feel compelled to wear a message on your clothing detailing this physical feat.

Do they sell t-shirts at the summit of Everest where the slogan reads "I've climbed the 29,035 feet."
If so, that would be acceptable, (but I wouldn't want to be the Sherpa with the gift shop gig.)

I think the hyperlinking problem is because the photos are too large on the blog.

Don't want to shrink them there (especially the landscape pics, as when you click on them they look a well decent size.) I will work out somewhere else to host smaller versions, and thus allowing me to hyperlink to them in blonde posts.

I'm guessing there is a site somewhere that specifically serves this purpose, if anyone could point me in the right direction it would be appreciated.  :)up


edit- tried opening new blog just to host small pictures, didn't work :(

photobucket...and they'll resize them for you too

Laxie gets one kiss as a downpayment...

 :-*

..and another two when I get it sorted

 rotflmfao  No problem.  Give a shout if you still need help working it out.

 :kiss: :kiss:

Enjoyed reading this, you write good.

lol

:D

Day 18 - Sophie-dog

A sad day yesterday, as it emerged that my mother-in-law's dog, Sophie, is to be put down. A cancerous lump has her in a great deal of discomfort, and so it's definately for the best.

Sophie's tail must have wagged an awful lot in 11 years, she was one of the friendliest dogs I've ever met. The wife is particulary upset at the news, only 21 years old herself, she grew up with Sophie in the house.

Another faithful servant is on it's way out, we were told in August that the Daweoo Matiz will not pass another M.O.T. We have had our eyes on a new car for a while now, and to cheer up my Coco, we took a visit to the local showroom yesterday afternoon.

We wanted something cheap to run, but just big enough to fit both the buggy in the boot, and my girth in the front seat. A Vauxhall Corsa with 20,000 miles on the clock fitted the bill, so we settled on that.

I managed to talk up the Daweoo's trade-in value, all the way up to four comics and two baloons!

sounds like you got a deal.. :D

Days 19 and 20

It's been a busy couple of days at work, Molly has been taking a while to settle at night as she's teething, and to catch up on some sleep, I decided to have a big lie-in.
So yesterday, I missed my first days blogging. Somehow, the internet survived.

We're going to sign the papers and pick up the Corsa this afternoon. Coco's birthday is on Saturday, and I need to make it clear to her that this is not her present. She is getting a DVD or something, and the car belongs to me.

The concept of individual ownership in a marriage is not really relevant of course. It's just that the Daweoo was her car, and so she dressed it up in pink "bad girl" seat covers. Making sure this car is classed as "mine" is purely a defensive maneouver. I reserve my right to veto any fluffy accesories.

I'm on holiday next week, and we're going on a jolly up to Aberdeen for a few days. All my side of the family live up there, and it'll be good to see them again.

have fun in Aberdeen Tank...if you don't freeze your nads off.

Nice Work Thomas, but the Ochils are my back garden and you aren't exactly selling them.

(http://www.spanglefish.com/Jennifer-Susan/pictures/DSCN0374.jpg)
(http://www.zeugma.co.uk/graphics/placesvisited/stirling-castle-view2.jpg)
(http://img1.photographersdirect.com/img/13697/wm/pd805757.jpg)

Sorry but very house-proud  :D


BTW is it the BK in Springkerse you are working in?

nice landscape admittedly..the people are pillocks though, right? ;)

Obviously with it being an old port town place is full of Dutch immigrants.....miserable gits every one of them..... ;nanana;

:)

I think one of the best views of them is along the Bellsdyke Road towards Grangemouth, or coming up on them through Skinflats. One of those super-wide panoramic shots where you put together a few photos might work well there.

I think they've photoshopped some green over a few farm buildings on that first picture of yours, it looks less like Scotland and more like the Shire.

The second photo is absolutely superb. The mountain looks immense in the background, with personality almost.

The third is a bit too kitschy cute for my tastes.  ;nana;



I'm not in the Springkerse one, although I work the occasional shift there. I'm in the city centre.

Days 21, 22 and 23 - Widening the net

My wife's birthday yesterday, and I forgot to buy her a present in advance. I did exactly the same last year, and covered by telling her the present was a shopping spree. I didn't think that one through at all, birthday girls can spend quite a lot on shopping sprees.

So I learned by my mistake, and just admitted that it had slipped my mind this time. She knew I was ditzy about remembering dates when she married me, so cannot complain now. I picked her up a DVD and some chocolates while I was on my break at work.


A week on Saturday there is a home game that I was keen to attend. I haven't played any live poker for an absolute age, and was looking forward to some banter with pals. I can no longer go, as it turns out the world of burgers and chips cannot spare me for one evening.

Indeed, I have to work Sunday morning too, with just eight hours between my shifts. I know this is against working time regulations. When I mention this fact, I just get the "everybody has to do it occasionally" line.
When I insist it is illegal, I get the "Fine, I'll just have to cancel my weekend away so I can cover for you" guilt trip. I don't want to be the guy who makes him do that. I also don't want to be the guy who squeals to HR, so I just have to suck it up.

My weeks holiday starts tomorrow, and so I will be able to move the job hunt into a higher gear. I didn't think of this before, but there's no reason I can't commute to either Glasgow or Edinburgh if a position has sensible hours. It's time to widen the net.

Days 24,25 and 26 - Fads are bad

I've fallen out of the, early to bed, early to rise, routine in the last week or so. Consequently, I have not been doing the writing work I should have been (including blog entrys)

The wife is worried that I could just be going through another fad. I get all excited about something for a couple of weeks/months and then lose interest. It's happened before with activities such as gardening, cooking, chess and even poker to an extent.
She always takes the piss out of me for the time I changed a tyre, and then asked her later the same evening what she thought of me becoming a mechanic.

I just find the world very interesting, and am lacking a bit of direction at the moment. Writing, particulary fiction writing, appeals to me because you can immerse yourself into a particular area of interest, and then a completely different one the next week.
I may or may not get the chance to investigate and experience all I want to before I leave this planet, but if I don't I'll only have myself to blame.

I'm determined that this course is not to be a fad. I just need to work on my organisation, something that's not going to happen instantly.
I take inspiration from an interview I recently read with emerging songstress Duffy. Talking about her formative years, she says something along the lines of..

"if I didn't do something every day that somehow furthered my goal of becoming a singer then it made me desperately unhappy"

That's exactly how I want to be, not desperately unhappy, but motivated enough to not let a day go by without doing something constructive.

Day 26 and a half - A little drunk

Wah-hey  ;yippee;

tank imo the best writer blonde has to offer amongst some great writers.

keep it up please  :)up

Sorry folks, you can blame me & Swordpoker - Tank's first real drink since the wee yin was born.

Imagine getting home drunk from a mathematics lecture at Glasgow Uni ;)

Your best work yet my friend :)

In the best tradition of Ernest Hemmingway et al  :)

I did LOL  :D

Day 27 - Simon says

I ventured into Glasgow to attend a lecture by Simon Singh. He's the only person who has ever written a book on Math that topped the UK bestsellers list, and he specialises in presenting science to the layman.
Being one of the aforementioned laypeople, I find this rather groovy. I enjoy the feeling of smugness that comes with understanding something complicated.

I was also using the evening to catch up with a couple of pals. When walking to the lecture, I felt somewhat embarrased when I had to point at a rather impressive looking building and ask one of them "What's that?"
My friend/tourguide informed me it was the University of Glasgow. I lived in this city for a whole year, what a crime that I had previously missed it.
To be fair, the University doesn't sit on any road running between my old flat and a poker venue.

(http://i264.photobucket.com/albums/ii177/tigmong/800px-University_of_Glasgow_view.jpg)

The lecture itself was quite interesting. It was all about probabilities, and how intuition can be misleading.

To give you a taster, I'll try to reproduce one of the things he showed us....

Listen to the following youtube link with your eyes closed. It's a short clip of Led Zepplin's Stairway to Heaven played forwards, and then the same piece played backwards. It's about a minute long, make sure you don't peep until it's over.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zwBdpESvSKM

Did you hear any words?
Listen to the clip again, this time with your eyes open.

The point Simon Singh was trying to make is that the mind often sees or hears something just because you tell it to, we are naturally drawn to finding patterns that perhaps don't really exist. In this case, instead of hearing backwards gobble-de-gook, we hear a satanic message.

He ends with an anecdote of how he improved a Katie Melua lyric. I've found a clip of someone else telling the story.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=21iUUe-W8L4

All this plus free tea and biscuits, well worth the £0.00 admission.

Found a youtube link of Simon Singh doing the Zepellin thing

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0bG7EFhMw8w&feature=related

Day 28 - Fillings

I turned up at the dentist around 3 o'clock for the first of four power tool sessions. I walked there, as it's not too far from my house, but got caught in a snowstorm on the way.

I resembled a yeti when I walked in the door. The dental nurse asked me if I had been caught in that little flourish.
"Yes." I joked, "They'll be no need for the anasthetic today as my jaw is already frozen."

Later on, when I was seated in the chair, the nurse repeated this joke to the dentist. At this point, the wimp within me surfaced and thought it prudent to clarify that I wasn't being serious. I'll take all the gum numbing injections you've got thankyou very much.

I imagine NHS dental professionals don't get much positive feedback or compliments from the people they've just helped. No matter how good they are, it's always going to be a uncomfortable for the patient, and I imagine plenty of people resent their dentists.

At the end of the session, when putting on my jacket, I told them "That was nowhere near as bad as the last time I had fillings, you guys are really good at what you do."

It was not altruism or any sense of fairness that prompted me to say this though, I had another agenda.

With my eye on the next three sessions, I figured there's value in endearing myself to the people holding the drills. If they like me, they might go easy on me, or so my warped logic suggests.

Seeing the pretty Irish lady smile, that was just a bonus.

I read this entire thread last nite and just say enjoying it immensely keep up the good work.

Absolutely love going to my dentist as if the appointmentis at 12.30 rest assured I'm sitting in that chair at 12.30 have never had to wait.Top Bloke as well

Day 29 and 30 - Petulance, a skill I wish I had.

"Shall we just give this to your dad instead."

It seemed logical, but I wasn't sure I wanted to. A picture frame, with a photograph of my daughter in it, that was originally purchased by my wife as a present for my mother.

We wouldn’t be seeing my mother at the weekend any more. After being swung about the road during a snowstorm on Thursday, I decided to call off the Aberdeen trip. The Grampian weather forecast predicted more gale force winds and heavy snowfall were on the cards. It was simply not worth the risk with Mollypops in the back seat.

My parents have recently split after 35 years of marriage, the same week Molly was born in fact. It wasn't a mutual thing, my Dad just found someone else.
I'm an adult, or at least I make a good job of pretending to be. So other than a concern for my mother's well being, the split doesn't affect me in any real way.

I haven't fallen out with my father, and I certainly would never play games that involve denying access to Mollypops if a relative has fallen from favour.

So I was happy to play host to my Dad and his new partner on Sunday morning. I just wasn't sure if I was comfortable giving them the present that was intended for my mother.
My wife doesn’t really get on with my Mum, and when she spontaneously decided to buy her a present the other day, it made me happy.

By the time our visitors knocked on the door, I still hadn't decided what to do.

Upon crossing the threshold, Dad handed me a box of shortbread. Without thinking too much about it, I reached for the bag with the photo and frame, and gave it to him by way of return.

Still don’t think I really wanted to, but now at least I don't have to answer as to why.

Day 31 tomorrow, and so that certainly brings an end to any lunar or calendar definition of the word month.
0 STTs have been played, and although I was hoping to update every day, at least my ROI target of 0.00% has been achieved.

I'll make sure the last entry is more upbeat, don't want to finish the thread on a downer.

Day 31 - Ciao for now.

Alas, the last day of my holidays. Tomorrow I must once again don my whip, leather chaps, and return to the rocky outcropping that overlooks the burger mines.
Also, it's the last day of the simultaneous blonde forum blog, time to flap my wings and leave the nest. I'm sure I'll be back next January, you never know, I might be trying to punt a book by then.

Saying goodbye isn't always the easiest thing in the world. Not for any emotional reason you understand. Even when people are on their deathbeds, I don't believe goodbye is ever goodbye forever.
No, it is the physical mechanics of a farewell that I find to be troublesome. Specifically, that European thing where you kiss people on the cheek. I can never get it right.

My father-in-law's wife insists upon doing it every time we visit. A couple of previous attempts saw her on the wrong side of a headbut, yet she is too polite to desist.

She comes in so fast. Fearful of breaking the poor ladies nose, I no longer aim for kissing her cheek in return. I stay pretty much still, and focus on kissing the air about two feet to the right. It may be cold and reclusive, but a clumsy oaf has to do what a clumsy oaf has to do.

Hopefully I'll be saying goodbye to Burger King soon. I've found what looks like the perfect job for me right now, science technician in the local high school.

Perfect as it's five minutes walk from my house, the hours are great, it brings in a little more money, I have a realistic chance of getting it, and it'll help confirm for me that teaching is what I want to do.

Fingers are crossed, but I'm quite confident. My feeling is that so long as the interviewer doesn't try to kiss my cheek, the job is as good as mine.

I wish you every success Tank..........It has been a riveting good read

nice one tank, enjoyed it.

gl with the new job interview.

All the best!  ;hattip;

Tanks for the stories.

gl with the job tank,

great read.

What he said. Tanks very much indeed. Made my days a bit better them stories did :)

thanks Tank - sorry to see the end of this - hopefully it's not the last Tank thread :)

best of luck with the job xx

More! ;applause; ;applause; More!

Another brilliant read mate. You've got a real talent.

Best of luck with the job!

Thanks for entertaining us and best of luck with the job!   :)

having dropped of the planet with a 15 month old tank i am oh so thankful for teacake in pointing me back here.

great read and from the mind of a guys more grounded than most

cheers Tank, sad to see the thread go but gg, wp and most of all gl