blonde poker forum

In accordance with similar threads, thought I might start this one:

Mine's a little different, but it still makes me laugh today

"Where were the Germans, but frankly, who cares??"

Courtesy of Mr Barry Davies commentating on an England vs Germany hockey match ( I THINK it was 1988 Seoul Olympics)

Brian Moore to Kevin Keegan, Will Batty miss Kevin? No Brian he wont.................................Batty missed.....

snooker



for those watching in black and white,the pink ball is next to the brown



or something like that

'Its up for grabs now......' Brian Moore as Michael Thomas went thru in the last minute against Liverpol to win the title.

The whole last furlong comm from the 1981 Grand National when Aldaniti and Bob Champion came from their death beds to win from Spartan Missile ridden by a 54 year old amateur John Thorne.

Cricket

The batsman is HOLDING the bowler s  WILLIE

Weightlifting:

Pat Glenn, commentating on a female weightlifter -  "This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria, I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!"


geo

Athletics

"Juantorena opens his legs and shows his class."

Coleman balls.......

That's the fastest time ever run - but it's not as fast as the world record.
Don't tell those coming in the final result of that fantastic match, but let's just have another look at Italy's winning goal.
For those of you watching who do not have television sets, live commentary is on Radio 2.
This is a truly international field, no Britons involved.
Both of the Villa scorers - Withe and Mortimer - were born in Liverpool as was the Villa manager Ron Saunders who was born in Birkenhead.
He's 31 this year - last year he was 30.
He won the bronze medal in the 1976 Olympics so he's used to being out in front.
We estimate, and this isn't an estimation, that Greta Waltz is 80 seconds behind.
Linford Christie's got a habit of pulling it out when it matters most.
The late start is due to the time.
He's got his hands on his knees and holds his head in despair.
He's even smaller in real life than he is on the track.
This could be a repeat of what will happen in the European games next week.
It's a battle with himself and with the ticking fingers of the clock.
Here are some names to look forward to - perhaps in the future.
In the Moscow Olympics Lasse Viren came in fifth and ran a champions race.
He just can't believe what's not happening to him.
One of the great unknown champions because very little is known about him.
There'll be only one winner now - in every sense.
He is accelerating all the time. The last lap was run in 64 seconds and the one before that in 62.
The big Cuban opened his legs and showed his class.
(At the velodrome) The front wheel crosses the fininsh line, closely followed by the back wheel.

"Youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu beautyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy"

Andy 'bluenose' Gray becomes a Red:

YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9qFD6yn8sTg

http://www.bbc.co.uk/fivelive/sport/bestcommentary/day2.shtml

Love the first two here

Not normally an Alan Green fan but his rowing commentary was superb

the Agnew/Johnston corpsing on air, which I listened to at the time, was hilarious too

Will have to listen to them later.


Is that the one where he finishes saying "if you're not standing, stand up.." - quality.


That is brilliant.  Every time I hear that I can't stop laughing.  So contagious.  In fact I'm grinning now remembering it ;D

"whatever you are doing now, stop" or something similar

When he was 32 alexander of macedon wept salt tears because he had no more worlds to conquer........

...........  eric bristow's only 27.


courtesy of the king sid waddell

Sid is a genius.

Off to find some more of his marvels.

Found some:

    “Bristow reasons . . . Bristow quickens ... Aaah, Bristow.”

    “Jockey Wilson . . . What an athlete.”

    “That was like throwing three pickled onions into a thimble!”

    “He's about as predictable as a Wasp on speed”

    “Look at the man go, its like trying to stop a waterbuffalo with a pea-shooter”

    “The atmosphere is so tense, if Elvis walked in with a portion of chips, you could hear the vinegar sizzle on them”

    “Big Cliff Lazarenko's idea of exercise is sitting in a room with the windows open taking the lid off something cool and fizzy.”

    “It's like trying to pin down a kangaroo on a trampoline”

    “Well as giraffes say, you don't get no leaves unless you stick your neck out”

    “His eyes are bulging like the belly of a hungry ch.affinch”

    “That's the greatest comeback since Lazarus.”

    “It's the nearest thing to public execution this side of Saudi Arabia.”

    “His physiognomy is that of a weeping Madonna.”

    “He's as cool as a prized marrow!”

    “Under that heart of stone beat muscles of pure flint.”

    “He looks about as happy as a penguin in a microwave.”

    “The pendulum swinging back and forth like a metronome”

    “His face is sagging with tension.”

    “The fans now, with their eyes pierced on the dart board.”

    “He's been burning the midnight oil at both ends.”

    “That's like giving Dracula the keys to the blood bank”

    “As they say at the DHSS, we're getting the full benefit here.”

    “He is as slick as minestrone soup”

    “There hasn't been this much excitement since the Romans fed the Christians to the Lions.”

    “The players are under so much duress, it's like duressic park out there!”

    “This lad has more checkouts than Tescos.”

    “John Lowe is striding out like Alexander the Great conquering the Persians”

    “When I see Steve Davis I see two letters... C S... Cue Sorceror”

    “By the time of the final on Sunday he should be fit to burst!”

    “There's only one word for that - magic darts!”

    “Keith Deller's not just an underdog, he's an underpuppy!”

    “I don't know what he's had for breakfast but Taylor knocked the Snap, Crackle and Pop outta Bristow”

    “Even Hypotenuse would have trouble working out these angles”

    “Steve Beaton - The adonis of darts, what poise, what elegance - a true roman gladiator with plenty of hair wax.”

    “If you're round your auntie's tonight, tell her to stop making the cookie's and come thru to the living room and watch these two amazing athletes beat the proverbial house out of each other”

    “When Alexander of Macedonia was 33, he cried salt tears because there were no more worlds to conquer..... Bristow's only 27.”

    “Eat your heart out Harold Pinter, we've got drama with a capital D in Essex.”

    “If we'd had Phil Taylor at Hastings against the Normans, they'd have gone home.”

    “He's playing out of his pie crust.”

    “They won't just have to play outta their skin to beat Phil Taylor. They'll have to play outta their essence!”

    “Darts players are probably a lot fitter than most footballers in overall body strength.”

    “There's no one quicker than these two tungsten tossers... ”

    “Look at him as he takes his stance, like he has been sculptured, whereas Bobby George is like the Hunchback of Notre Dame.”

    “He's playing like Robin Hood in the Nottingham super league”

    “Phil Taylor's got the consistency of a planet ... and he's in a darts orbit!”

    “The atmosphere is a cross between the Munich Beer Festival and the Coliseum when the Christians were on the menu.”

    “Jockey Wilson, he comes from the valleys and he's chuffing like a choo-choo train!”

    “He's like D'Artagnan at the scissor factory.”

    “Steve Beaton, he's not Adonis, he's THE donis”

I cannot believe my Geordie eyes!!!

taken from the greatest greyhound thread


"oh my god he got up"

I was listening to Test Match Special 4 or 5 years ago,Johnathon Agnew and Graeme Fowler were in the Commentry box.They were talking about an England player who was making his debut and his 'England Player Number' that the players where just below the England badge on their shirts. Fowler said it was certainly a number the said player would never forget,Agnew then asked Fowler what his number was,and of course....he got it wrong!! lol.

"If Bradford stay up, I'll get my head shaved".

Rodney Marsh.
They did, and he did - on the pitch in front of the fans.

Sid is a genius.