blonde poker forum

A bizarre turn of events sees me packing my bag tonight for a few days in Moscow, which I understand is in Russia.

I got a phone call middle of last week "would you like to come to Moscow, we are opening a big new Casino, & are having a nice comp to celebrate, with a really big comp to follow in January or February. It (this week's comp) will be filmed for TV, proper job, 8 cameras, plus hole card cameras for everyone throughout".

Err, No, I replied, I'm very busy, but thank you.

"We will pay your air fare".

Well, I'm quite busy, I responded.

"And your Hotel".

Well, I AM a bit busy.....

"And half your entry fee to a $3,000 comp".

Err, I reply, well I'm not THAT busy.........

"And we will put a limousine at your disposal throughhout, with a driver, & pick you up from & take you back to the airport".

Actually, now I think about it, I'm not doing much.......

So, a few frantic days sorting it all out. No requirement to wear anyone else's branded apparel, so I might as well wear blonde gear for a TV comp that's gonna be sold worldwide, apparently. Free advertising!

The Visa was the problem, but two visits today to the Russian Embassy in London sorted that out, & I fly out at 1.30pm on Wednesday, on Aeroflot, the world's safest airline......

Now it gets even more surreal. There are 4 of us going, & I gather it's a Team Event. The name of our team? "TEAM GB"....... Eat your heart out Thewy & Flushy.

Top names, too, 4 of the UK's very finest. Ted Giddens, Pat Keane, Andy Rolf, & me. The cream of UK Poker, eh?

And the guy in the Russian Embassy Visa Department gave me some travel advice. "In Russia, my friend, always use a condom". "What, for poker?" I responded? "No, for sex. And that includes with women"........

Whatever next?

Assuming internet access is available at the Hotel Ukraina, I'll keep you posted.

His Supreme Blondeness is giving it the "no man who achieved so little got away with so much" routine. He ain't wrong.

Wow Tony

Have a great time

It's like life style of the super rich and Famous.

Regards

M
 

Take bog roll.

What, instead of a condom? How's that work then?

Team event eh ?

Does that mean not knocking your team-mates out of the tourney ?

as well as darling :)

I used to work on a USAF base and the russians came in to do the nuclear disarming inspections, we used to barter them for family packs of Andrex, they couldn't get enough of the stuff.

So I am assuming the home grown stuff is harsh on the botty.

I am only looking out for your best interests :)

Oh and don't lick the lamposts.

Caviare for bog roll

Sweet !

No, I think we all pretend to be Greek.

Seriously, I don't really know the format. But there are 8 teams of 4 I believe, playing two "Day Ones" with the Final in Friday. I was supposed to fly out with the rest of the boys today (Tuesday) but I could not make it, as I had Poker 425 to record, so I gotta fly out alone, & it's been "organised" that I play in the second Day One, on Thursday. And hopefully, in the Final on Friday. Stranger things have happened. Not muich, mind.

Well Heid's words of warning reminded me. When the Visa guy at the Embassy saw what Hotel I was staying at (you have to give them all that sort of info) he said "oh dear, that's one of the old "Soviet-style" hotels. Not sure what that means.....

I can't wait to see the pics :)

I only have your botty at heart Mr Kay :)

Not the Hotel Lubianka by any chance  :o

Hotel Ukraina.

Just a slight whooosh.

The Lubianka was where the old Soviets used to hold (torture) their political prisoners.  :blonde:

A BIG whoosh for me there there Karabiner. Soviet History is not exactly my strong point, though I do know Soviet is somewhere in Russia.

Have a great time, you sure do get about a bit for someone of your years.  ;)

WHAT?

oh and don't answer your door in the middle of the night :D

In fact bung the fella/lady at the end of the corridor to NOT allow people to your room

When I grow up I want to be tikay

Mind you, "The adventures of the 'ol fella - part 47" thats only one every two years

If you want my advice (knowing a lot of people that worked there), if you are travelling in a limo, hire at least 2 armed minders.
Those Lada estates are sitting ducks!! :)up

You rotten lot - he's gonna be needing the loo roll lots before he even gets there!  lmao

Have a great time Tikay - you lucky old so and so.

Trace
xxx

Have a great time. Look forward to the report. When are you back?

lol - no man who has achieved so little has blagged so much! - Tony Kendall (IP) International Playboy.

The russian guy I work with here tells me this is difficult to explain, but it will be plainly obvious once you walk into the lobby :D

He know the hotel and he tells me, built in the 1930s. Will be clean, tidy, everything in it is place. Totally safe, but get ready to enjoy the sound of latex gloves being pulled on, slapping against the skin. No entry to the hotel after 11pm (Soviet rule, possibly still applied in any such hotel). Ready at all times to show your identification. If you leave the hotel, take your passport ready to show the uniformed officer....I mean doorperson on your return, otherwise you may not get back in.

Also I'm advised that during the night at the hotel you will recieve numerous phone calls from girls with high prices but do not come with any recommendations.

Alll in all, prepare to enjoy the full "soviet experience".

We have ways of making you talk....

Tony Kendall OBE (old bleached ed)

Here's some useful Russian phrases

zdravstviutye krasivye schenchiny  hello beautiful womans

tus -ace

trefy bubny chervi piki - clubs diamonds hearts spades

vasmyorka/chetvyorka - 8/4 or tus tus to you

If the text that Dave read out is anything to go by, my post above is pretty much bang on the money :D

Yep - had to laugh.... 2 hours in the airport at immigration, 1 3/4 hours at the reception in the hotel  :D

Well I've never thought about it before, but that hair must look a bit dodgy to the immigration guys  /:-|

The 'ol fella here, just clocking in, not much time, but I'll give you the lowdown later.

Mikky was RIGHT about the Hotel........

I was WRONG about "Team Event", it's a normal jobbie, & I've just played my heat, with a certain Krill Gerasimov to my immediate left.

The whole trip has been jaw-droppingly good, & there's a terrific Festival here in January, which I imagine all the top Europeans will wanna attend. I'm so glad I came, but I'll give you the score later.

Oh, & we went out last night - well, early ths morning - to a place called "Night Flight". NOT an Art Museum, or a place to book airline tickets. VERY interesting, my first experience of such a, well, "emporium". Sadly, one of our ships is missing in action, but that's all I'm saying for now......

PS - It's bloody cold here, & there's no seaside.

OK, the Final heat of the day (the last of 4) is about to start, & guess who's in the commentary booth. It's not all swanning about, you know......

night flight the club/restaurant?

Err,  yes, the "club/restaurant. You know it flushy?

PS - I was a GOOD BOY. Promise. But WHAT a place!

Tony,

When you get the chance can you put up the details of the January festival in Moscow up on Blonde?

It's not some kind of dogdy S&M strip club is it tikay?

LOL yeah Tikay i have been.

Food is about as good as you get in Moscow.

For those of you wondering, its a nightclub, but not a russian one. It's like a european nightclub, therefore attracts tourists and those who have lived abroad. Basically people with more money, so i will let you guess what kind of women it attracts......

Rich ones? :blonde:

The same ones that phone you up during the night to ask if you need good time good price?

Do they accept Andrex soft tissue in trade ?

As I know that Tikay was advised to stock up before he left.  ;sex;

Funny enough, Heid got it right, the toilet paper in the Hotel Ukraina is what we used to know as "Bronco" or "Izal". Anyone remember that stuff?

No comment on Night Flight, but I was offered some "tender loving" for €300. I was not interested. My cats do it for free.

OK, the 4th & Final heat has just finished, & it featured, amongst others, Evgeny Kafelnikov, the ex tennis player. Commentators were Ted Giddens & yours truly, & there's a bit of chemistry between me & him. Let's just say the commentary was a bit different!.

OK, I'm hungry, I've been playing or commentating for 10 hours straight, we are 3 hours ahead here, it's 11.45 here.

A meal is booked, hopefully NOT at Night Flight, where, I'm bound to admit, there are some interesting sights. I've got a big day tomorrow (Friday), plus I wanna write up a blonde Trip Report. There's also talk of a nice lolttle "private comp" here with the owner of the Shangri-La Casino. Needs must as the devil drives.

By the way, our missing ship trurned up.

Funnily enough!!?? Oi!

I hope you listened and took some of the cozy stuff Mr Kay :)

Not the sort of thing you should be admitting on an open forum