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OK, I am in Moscow as guests of the Shangri La Casino, along with 3 others from the UK, & they gave us, amongst other things, THIS little gift.

I  was quite intrigued, I like surprise packages. I'd never have guessed it's contents in a month of Sundays, though in a way, it was pretty obvious.

I've taken a few pics of it in various states of undress. The gift, that is.

Can YOU guess what it is?

Here's the first pic. When I get 10 replies, I'll show you the next pic, to see if that helps.

Oh, & the mobile phone is just there to give it scale.



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By the way, I'm just looking for a little fun here - let's have some fun with this, some witty replies. The winner is the best reply, not the correct reply.

broken down submarine? (could be a big phone)

The key to Eva Herzigova's room.................

 :blonde:

...........and there had better be more pictures coming :-) :-) :-)

Kim Philby's long lost little black book of double agents

a giant magnifying glass to stop tikay 'mis-reading' his hole cards...

A Box slightly bigger than a mobile phone   :hello:

And as many condoms that can fit inside the box along with the key.

"Poker for geriatric dummies" by A Bluffer?

A glass container shaped like a playing card filled with vodka to use as a card protector...hick :D

is it a box version of those russian doll things... (sorry being thick - don't know what thery're called). the ones where there's a smaller and smaller doll inside....

a little red book

Soft toilet roll?

A new pair of reading glasses for you.

Is it Boris Yeltsin's liver?

a dead parrot?

Ok, thats the first batch of replies, only one person got even remotely close, & I've got 3  :redcard: :redcard: :redcard: to issue.

Here's pic # 2. There may be a delay in posting pics 3, 54 & 5, as I've gotta go & do some work now, but I'll be back.....

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AK47

A colostomy bag?

a red dead parrot?

Some new Dentures?

matryoshka?

a pile relief cushion?

Elephant ?

You lot are getting a bit cheeky.......

I'm watching, I'll have anyone else who gives it the geriatric angle.

Viagra Pills

Red ones hopefully

a key to the disabled toliet?

Blow up doll for the over 70's......special feature.....tells you where to stick everything in case you've forgot

half a pound of mincemeat, a rubber glove and 2 cushions.

Oi! This is not supposed to be a knock tikay thread. And I'm disappointed in that Harry D fella. Who does he think he is - more to the  point, does he know who I am? Damn newbies come on here getting all clever.

A bible.

And if you can't blow it up properly - so it's saggy & wrinkly too ;)

Yak glue remover?

 :redcard: :redcard: :redcard: :redcard: :redcard:

Enough!

OK, here's picture 3......

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ROFLMAO, I just pee'd myself  :D

Ali

Caviar?

looks like a boxed pack of KEMS with all the Jacks and fours thoughtfully taken out and replaced with extra aces

It's one of those farmyard animal in a bag noise machine thingy's

You press the button (if you know where to find it ;)) and it makes a noise like a cow/sheep/pig etc

Ali

Careful Ali - that's a bit near to home in my case.

So I heard ;)

Ali

A top of the range Russian IPod

(http://www.piczs.com/is.php?i=18014&img=ist2_381296_ret.jpg)

Is it a copy of a book by Putin? or collected essays of Gorbachev or something? or life and times in Moscow?

the red pages (known as the yellow pages in this country)

Russian Orthodox Bible - with limited edition potato

Or

Prime Russian Bog Roll

vodka

"How to win at Texas Holdem....for 5 bucks"

i'm so excited :dd: :dd:

How could I be so stupid....sincerest apologies.

It's the key to Eva's grandmothers room.

lol.

another free copy.

Как Выиграть На Texas Hold'Em - Все, котор Вы Знать By UKPoker


Bugger, the Ant beat me too it - but only because I had to find a translator ;)

did you go to all the trouble of finding a translation. what a star

MI5 report on Dublin subversives....

OK, here's the next pic. Oh, wait a mo, I've been called to the commentary booth. I'll be back in a few hours.

Serves the lot of you right for being so horrible to me.

its a russian suppository....twice the size for twice the thrill

don't you mean last of the summer wine is on

The Russians have done their research - it's a video of the journey on the Trans-Siberian Railway.

(and a bottle of Sanatogen ;) - couldn't not have some cheek in the reply).

Faberge Egg, Cracked obviously

Yogi

Come on Tikay, I going out for a pint in a minute

put us out of our misery then!!!

yeah, i'm off out too in a while...............cantankerous springs to mind :D :tikay:

All will be revealed by the time I return from work.

No Fair.

Yogi.

I think it's a flask

Have a great time TK

ACES

christ almighty, this thread and "deal or no deal" on the telly is killing me!!!!!!!

i got it

its your toupee

And if not a toupee then its Hair dye to get some color back in your hair.

водка - is what it will say on the bottle

too late he has already been 2 of the flock did go missing in action

Is it a very large women who has the ability to fit in very small packages!

(http://www.acidmouse.com/gall/albums/userpics/10001/25.jpg)

Its Official , Blondites are sad lonely people!!!

We are getting excited at Tikays version of a russian striptease!

Tikay has been a while since last post.

Was it a bomb???

Ok my final guess is this for when Tik is lonely on trips away.

(http://www.acidmouse.com/gall/albums/userpics/10001/39-arm.jpg)

PMSL where you get these from? :D

I think it is a supersized box of Imodium with maybe a a few Anusol Suppositories.

I do hope he packed some Andrex!

Tikays future x wifes gun collection 8)

what ever it is , i hope  you enjoy it Tikay  ;) :-* ;) :-*

Still think it was a bomb!!! Where's he gone?

Son was far too intelligent and said it was a phone charger!!

I do hope you dont leave your woman waiting with baited breath like this Tikay  ???
Ihave nothing better to do than keep looking on here to find out whats in the box , imagine what i'm like at christmas   ~:

Sorry for the delay. It serves you right for being so beastly to me.

OK, here's pic  4.

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And in the next pic, I will reveal all. Steady now girls.

lol... none the wiser here

Posh cards ?

A selection of scents, perhaps they were trying to tell you something.

Posh Vodka ???

it has got to be TATU'S new video
its the only way they can get it out of the country by smuggling it out via a pensioners baggage
thinking they will never look in it incase they see the used clostomay bag's

the first one was about schoolgirl <<<<<FRIENDS>>>>>
god nows what this one is about

good luck at customs Tikay and dont worry about the rubber gloves they dont use them there   :D

duck, its a gun 8) :blonde:

It's a pocket Clygester

Is it talcolm powder?

DIY Penis Enlargement Kit ??

ouch dont even want to think what the russians use for that

Cigar

So you know the disguised package they come in then?

A box.

;D ;D

The DIY penis enlarger - Glasnost at it's most unenviable :)

(it doesn't say which bit it enlarges)

Chip set for begginers?

It's a miniature Russian travelling Chess set!

20 Benson & Hedges

Now where's he gone?

It's a flight ticket supplied by the KGB to........anywhere TK wants.....as long as he agrees to leave the babushkas in peace.

aaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh, i don't believe he still hasn't said!!!!!!!!!!!!!
such a tease

it's not they dolls that all fit inside each other and do nothing apart from ....
fit inside each other  :D

Bad pun time

Just as well he keeps us waiting as..........fools russian where angels fear to tread

Worse pun time

What could fit in that box?

Perhaps a Smolensk.

One last one before I go to bed

I'm not too bothered.
If we never find out then Soviet.

I've been at work for 11 and a half hours and he hasn't revealed what it is yet??

C'mon man. The world waits with baited breath.

Yogi

How sad am I? After brushing me teeth and donning me jimjams I couldn't get to sleep without getting out of bed, turning the computer back on and posting this one final final pun.......




















But now I really Moscow to bed.

Groan!

A picture of me obviously  :blonde:   :cheers:

Ok Ok just let me believe it for a short while - I'm happy in this place

Tracey 

it's a device used for keeping idiots in suspense

It was a devious russian hypodermic thingy.........It now cotain TIKEY's ashes

babushka actually means grandmother....appropriate word? mmmm

It looks like it may have been a bugging device to keep track of their winnings.

What still no reveal????


Someone RED CARD that man!!!

I would but i turned my emoties off.

Eureka!

A Get Out Of Jail Free Card

an invitation to Crazy Ivans Cell ?

I wonder if Tikay knew how much of a Russian surprise he was in for when he started this thread?

 :redcard: :redcard: :redcard: :redcard: :redcard: :redcard: :redcard: :redcard: :redcard: :redcard: :redcard: :redcard: :redcard: :redcard:

PMSL - shame i dont have my emoties on - I haven't the foggiest idea what all of that means

One hopes the hotel thought ahead and it's actually a get out of jail free card.

Is it the Evidence??

is it a family sized pack of vaseline? :D :D

a fresh pair of fancy russian boxer shorts. the russian officials felt it was only fair as tikkay was phsl at the competition and didnt have a change with him

Hopefully a file

WHATS THE ANSWER??????

It's a saturday night and I should be doing other things.......COME ON!"!!!  ???

Tikay, set the bloody lappie up quick, my chinese take away coming in next 10 mins, I need my appetite back!!!

I needed inspiration - that's it - a chinese  :D

Thanks

I KNOW THE ANSWER

but i aint telling

May I suggest a Yuk Sung, followed by Char Sui and Mushrooms with egg fried rice.

By the time I will be tucking into it I hope I will be out of my misery!!!

Firiing up the lappie right now.......

Gonna be an anti-climax after all the excitement, but I've LOVED this thread, may do more of the same sort of thing.

Soorry about the delay, some OTHER things hppened last night, which prevented me getting on my lappie.

To make up for the delay, I'll post a few other pics for you shortly, too.

Then again, I suppose I could keep you all waiting for a few more days.....

I'm sure it's an elephant   :tikay:

To Adam goes the award for closest answer. To almost everyone else for the most inventive answer. To whoever said "A Get out of Jail Free Card" the most prophetic answer.

And more Red Cards than enough.

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WTF!!!!! Are those playing cards????? For Giants!!!

TUT

Yup - all that for a deck of cards!

Some more interesting pics to follow.

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Prawn cracker anyone?

Heres some of the sights I saw in Moscow......

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can i

Do those come in a box?

This dealer was really good at her job.

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I do believe i said " posh cards"  i think you will find Mr Tikay  8)

Looking at the lovely ladies , no wonder you want to go back in January  :3some:

Ahh, Charmaine is CORRECT. We have a winner.

Here's a Valet who was also good at her job.

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Do we get a blond cap for guessing correct ???  :blonde:  :)up  0:-)

OK Charmaine, that's a deal. And free entry to the next blonde Crypto tourney.

And another....

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One more....

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dam' could of sworn it was an elephant :tikay:

Woohooooooo !!!! at last i win something  :D :D

Tikay .. were there no males there ,,,

Yeah the casino looks magnificent Tikay !

 ::)

Lol Nun , its a mans world  >:(

Charmaine, well the first prize was intended to be a wonderbra, but I gather you don't need one.

The Nun wants a male? A hunky one? OK, here's Ted Giddens during his heat.

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thanks ...I do belive i have just turned ...

I was just gonna say.. I think that's burst a few bubbles :)

all out war declared on tk!

Careful Ed, careful........ ;)

that is the best photo i have seen of ted since john lesley was seen pulling up judys top

maybe this time i'll let you off tk-------just until alzheimers takes total control. :-*
   really enjoyed being last few days and catcha soon.   ,
    glad your feeling better iron catcha soon too.

Ted, it was GREAT, big thanks to you, Ronnie & Pat for making me feel so comfortable. And that Ronnie, does he have some stories to tell, or WHAT?

A wonderful memory, & nothing can change that, airport problems or not.

BUT DID ANYONE PLAY A BIG HAND W/  7c 4s????????????????????????

those ladies made me go find a smiley named kiv :kiv:

stuff the pictue of Giddens asleep...give me a full size versaion of his avatar...now...with him cropped out :kiv: :kiv: :kiv: :kiv:

OMG that pic has just ruined the sweet dreams I used to have.


Maureen - hold that turning door open, I'm coming with you...   lol

Gawd help me when Ted Giddens does Poker 425 next.........

Poor man looks shattered

Can't think why........

Can i use my imagination ? ;)

New Competition.

What comes in packs of three?

Triplets?

PMSL   -  Nice one Heid!

Did anything prevent those lovely ladies getting on your lappie ;)

from the pictures you sure you were in a casino ? 8)

Anything so stop those men looking at their cards is ok by me  8)
At one game I played a player folded his BB because he was staring at the busty valet - I asked her to walk around again - and again - and again.....

one of my colleagues went on a russian visit connected to work. he was asked if he liked the women in attendance and was then 'offerred' one of the female delegates.
he politely refused and hoped to himself this was not the expectation on the russiams return visit to scotland. there does appear to be lots of ladies sitting around and not working which is very unusual for a casino i would think

mad

Im just off to Russia, anyone else coming  :dd: :dd: :dd: :dd: :dd: :dd: :dd:

see ya there, just dont go crazy, save some for the rest of us 8)

I am MORE than happy with what I have thanks  8)

Yup i have to agree with M3 , them there ladies dont do nothing for me and i'm more than happy with my bloke  ;sex; ;sex; ;sex; ;sex;

I havent forgot i won prizes  , Mr TK want my address to send my luverly cap to ???

As for the Poker Game  , i dont think i will be able to play , unless its under M3 name ???

I still haven't been asked for my addy yet either, I assume we'll get them at the blonde bash??

Hi, this is Pat Keane. This is my first visit to Blonde - I just wanted to say a big up to TK he was great in Moscow. Many thanks for your kind words ....... I have spoken to the organisers and they are looking at wiring the funds that were "lifted" from us by customs in Moscow! I will keep you posted. All said and done, it was a great tourney, my first televised event as a player and I got very lucky. Great trophy, great people but most of all great company, thanks TK, Ted and Ronnie :blonde:

Welcome Pat  :hello: and very well done in Russia  ;applause; ;applause; ;applause; ;applause;

Hi......... nice to be a part of this great forum.

Welcome .. and Enjoy..x

Thanks. Hi Everyone :hello: :hello: :hello: :hello: :hello:

Oh yes . and by the way Sharkman.. Thanks from all of us for taking care of the Ole fella over there .. we were all quite concerned him flying so far at this time of his life..

Understandibly so.... he is soooooooooooooo old! What a great guy though ... he was a rock (or something like that!). >:?

Welcome Pat. Glad you made it to the forum. 

Do you mean fossil???


OK, I'll do it myself.........   :redcard: :redcard: :redcard: :redcard:

OMG!  I don't believe she did that!   pmfsl

i dont think tikkay is old.........age is relative. you get some really old 30 year olds and some really young 90 year olds. i should know, my gran is in her late 80s and still got it!!

The truth is he is so old he cant read his cards, tie his own shoes, or dress him self ( have you looked at his read sport coat?) , other than that his looks like my 16 year old cousin 8) :D ??? ;D :) O0 ~: >:? :3some: :cheers: :tikay:

nasty

Very true, tikay was also quite spritely at that age

tikay has still got it, but nobody wants it