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"Like many men, Jordan Witham is obsessed with his car. But while most boy racers would draw the line at a wax and polish, his obsession has gone into overdrive.

The 20 year old is in love with his Volkswagen Beetle – and has been having sex with it for four years.

Despite never having kissed a girl before, virgin Jordan has become an experienced lover, covering his car with kisses and caresses before having penetrative sex with the exhaust pipe.

“I don’t fancy people,” says Jordan. “It’s cars that do it for me – I don’t want to marry or have kids.”

Jordan’s mum, Debbie, 53, doesn’t know about her son’s habit but his dad, David, 50, a door installer, does – and amazingly hasn’t tried to put the brakes on his relationship.

Jordan says: “When I told my dad I was sexually attracted to my car, he just said that there are lots of different people out there who are attracted to lots of different things.

“I’m not ready to tell Mum, though. She sees the world in a different way and is always asking me if I’ve found a nice girl.”

Jordan is one of just a handful of extreme car lovers in the world known as mechaphiles, and says his obsession was fuelled as a child.

He says: “I had hundreds of toy cars as a kid and often played in my dad’s Beetle. I used to talk to it, but I didn’t think it was odd as all my mates had imaginary friends.”

After Jordan passed his driving test at 16, he spent his £750 savings on his first car, a 1967 VW Beetle.

Jordan says: “I just knew she was a ‘girl’ car and I named her Ingo. She hadn’t worked in years, but as soon as I saw her, I had to have her.”

It was only while restoring Ingo that Jordan, who has never been attracted to women, realised his feelings were sexual.

“I could feel myself falling in love while I worked on Ingo,” he says. “I once became so aroused, I started rubbing her bodywork and masturbating. It didn’t feel strange, just really exciting.

“After a few minutes, I felt a desire to connect with her further, so I had penetrative sex with the exhaust pipe.”
Jordan began making love to his car a couple of times a week, while his parents were out. He recently moved out of their home to make it easier to carry on his relationship.

“I don’t always have sex with the car,” he explains. “Sometimes I stroke and kiss her bodywork, or rub myself up against her. If I’ve just been driving her, I have to wait for the exhaust pipe to cool down before I have sex. And I always use a condom because of all the dirt and dust inside.”

Jordan, who also masturbates while reading car magazines, has spent over £2,500 refurbishing Ingo. Most of Jordan’s earnings from his job stacking shelves at a supermarket are spent on her.

Now he has spent a further £200 on a “boy” car, a Trans Am he calls Todd, and is experimenting with a “gay” relationship.

Jordan says: “He’s very masculine. When I first bought him, I felt like I was cheating on Ingo, but now we all work well together.

“I have sex with Ingo more than Todd because Todd is kept in the driveway, not in the garage,” he explains. “I have to sneak outside in the middle of the night to have sex with him.”

Unsurprisingly, Jordan from Missouri, USA, describes himself as a bit of a loner – though he has now made friends with another mechaphile over the internet.

Jordan says: “I enjoy my life. If I end up an old man, living on my own with just my cars, I’ll be happy.”

oooooooooooohhhhhh a pun thread :)

I'm good in clutch situations

(http://img529.imageshack.us/img529/6928/boobcarmz5.jpg)

I'm gearing myself up for some good ones.

You'll be wheelie tyred out by the time this lot have geared up for their pun delivery.

I'm going to try and Porsche AndrewT all the way, Audi get so good at puns?

A Princess..??  There are a few that are worth it..!!! LOL

The twat in question

sex with the exhaust pipe, ive heard of a blow job but thats ridicules

all old cars get fooked at one stage.,.,.,

Throws a whole new light on 'Herbie Rides Again'.

that reminds me of the old school playground joke about the Irishman who tried to blow up a bus but burnt his mouth on the exhaust pipe

Its not even a pretty car.

I thought it was a real passion wagon

If everyone had the same taste it would be boring though lol.I guess he likes to give it to her full throttle

We've all had birds like that.

I know a guy at work that is like this, he told me once that he was getting really frisky one night because he knew he was going to get to drive an Audi A3 estate the next day (Big WOWS!) and he spends about 6hrs cleaning his car most weekends. He says some other random crap as well which is rather worrying! I think these people are called mechaphiles or something?

didnt know stallyon worked with you...

There's a programme about this on Five right now.

could half way understand with a veyron

he aint fookin right  ;dingdell; ;dingdell; ;dingdell;

You're being too kind. They're a couple of effin wierdos, Edward seems particularly disturbed.  ;gobsmacked;

Tighty! just searched his name into google and found the article u posted was actually from closer online .... didnt no that was ur type of magazine  ;whistle;

I'm not, I got it from another forum I use (footy one). Honest.

That was disusting. OK they're not hurting anybody (apart from people having to clean Edwards pearl jam off their car in the morning :puke smiley:), but that Edward was seriously a wrongun.