blonde poker forum

Many would think that when you undertake a major overseas trip a great deal of planning might be called for, something akin to Operation Overlord maybe.

However when talking about your average Luton G casino regular, half arsed and last minute are terms that are firm early runners.

And so the great Vegas expediton begins.

To be honest two weeks ago a trip to vegas couldnt be further from my mind, I was enjoying my 2 nights a week homage to the G and a little bit of dancing on Pokerstars when a few of the regulars started talking about their annual pigrimage to The Poker Players Promised Land...Las Vegas.

The usual chit chat was abound, where they were staying what comps they fancied..maybe a stab at a Turkey Shoot ( Sorry WSOP Bracelet Event ) and then it began to gather momentum...Blondes and Lutonians began to enroll en masse and finally my good mate Celtic declared he was going and why don't I come..'it'll be a laff..he said

Then it struck me ....thats not a bad idea..i could do with a break..and what better than an insane 10 Day Poker Fest in Sin City....Sod the 72 Virgins.. U have to blow up a plane not get on one to get that gig.....shoot me now and sign me up!!!

However one small problem reared its ugly head..after running good and ramping my Bankroll up to £ 18K by early March I had wisely decided to invest a good chunk of it into one of my business.After much careful accounting I managed to use it all and some extra just for good measure.. and the Poker pot was empty..April was lean but May was good and a mix of live and internet saw 0 turn into £2700. Great I thought I'll just ramp that up a bit more and freeroll my way to vegas..Ah! such plans are beautiful when they are this simple.

However a strange thing happened..it was spooky..as soon as I actually tried to make money I managed to ramp it down to about £1500.Time to look towards the business I had so wisely invested in and to my surprise I was actually owed a severe lump by a multitude of different clients.

I'm there i proudly announce to Celtic...Unfortunatley owed money and getting money seem to be 2 different universes and 5 days before im due to go no buggers paid me....oh and I discover my Passports a year out of date...You see I don't get away much and the last time I flew I had to marry someone to get the ticket....

However a quick drive up to sunny Peterborough and its scarily efficent Passport office ( I was in there 10 minutes ) saw me pay a mere £114 for a get yer new passport in 4 hours jobbie..I didnt fancy idling 4 hours of my life away in Peterborough ( Im sure its very nice..)  so I got them to post it to me.
As an aside the poor couple in front of me were getting passports for their children as well as themselves..' has the 13 year old signed the form? ' asked Mrs Efficent behind the desk...a puzzled shake of the head from both parents, 'oh she has to sign it..you can go through but it will be rejected'..

Bloody Hell !! I hope they didnt come far...mind you if that was me id say she was sitting in the car outside and dutifully return with one 13 Year olds signature...and if necessary a suitably bribed live one.

Anyway, finally after many frantic phone calls and some cobblers about our year end accounting enough money dribbled in on the Friday to cover the trip.

A quick phone call to Richard Branson ( his  a personal friend you know )  saw me allocated one of their finest economy seats at the back behind Latrine number 4, Lucky I'm a short arse cos leg room is an upgrade and for some strange reason Celtic gets my food allocation ??

And so..we are set..Im going to Las Vegas with a bunch of degenerate gamblers ( My Mum has already warned me of the pitfalls of such a place..well cmon im not 40 till next year for Gods sake and Mother knows best..u think im joking !!! ) who have all been before, to break my cherry under the dazzling lights,dancing girls etc..and at Tightend and Tikays behest I may well bore you with mine and my compadres adventures as we attempt to stick it up the Yanks Gawd Bless em'

Early reports from our scouts on the frontline  ( Thats Chompy to me and you ) declare the level of play in the deep stack tourneys at the Venetian and Caesars etc.. are idiotic allin blood baths with much a whooping and a hollering from the locals..

God I hope not ..I hate that when some Cock pulls a 2 outer on you and starts running round like a demented Red Indian after discovering his first in the scalp line at Little Big Horn.. I may have to calmly ask them what colour straw they would like to eat their dinner through whilst recovering in the local emergency room...
Dont worry i'll be okay i'll be very English about it, sit there  and say nothing more than ' nice hand ' and then bitch about it to my mates for the next 7 Years..

So ok...Tuesday morning Gatwick is where The Jolly Boys Outing begins..wish us luck and smoke me a kipper  !! Photo's and big words to follow...

Have a good one, and lots of pictures.

Good luck Dean, have a blast.

Was talking to someone at luton on Friday who mentioned there was a load of you going tuesday.  Good luck to you all. 

Stu

Good luck m8. Last minte planning ftw

Cheers Everyone..Will prob be at Luton tonight for some last minute ramping..all donations welcome

good luck ya big fish. hope you enjoy it!!!

Thanks m8 U 2......Lets Av IT !!!

Have a great time boys.......enjoy ;letsparty;......and make some money ;slavedriver;


 ;goodluck; ;goodluck; ;goodluck;

Awesome stuff, have a great time and look forward to the updates :)

After an intro like that, I'm looking forward to the rest.

Me too.

Good luck in Vegas  ;mexicanwave;

Great thread...and of course knowing all the characters involved does make for a fascinating read.....I think with all the regulars out of town I might just take a visit to the G. It will be like that specials AKA song....Ghostown

Have a great trip

Thanks again everyone...

Finalled Luton last night but no money as got out drawn AK v AJ...sigh   ;frustrated;  Played really well made one horrible call that i didnt need to make as was controlling table and was one of the chip leaders from mid race...just shows cant make any mistakes in no limit...but i leave these shores in good spirits and form and hope to bring back half a pound of prime smoky back..

Special mention for Tightend  Richard Prew who I believe chopped it last night who played a beautiful controlled game from start to finish..not one mis step all evening...Well Done Sir   ;tightend;

OK more to follow when we touch down in the desert....... watch this space

Have a great time.

If all your entires are as well written as the OP I look forward to reading them. Best of luck and have fun!

i write them for him boldie, but don't tell anyone mate. oh have you seen this? http://blondepoker.com/forum/index.php?topic=34171.0  ;)

Vegas diaries? Zzzzzz, boring, all of them, without fail imo
See you tomorrow Dulux, the bad-beat cortex of your brain will have exploded by the weekend, come prepared

Well here we go.........

Travel went well nice and smooth although Virgin a bit tight in the food department imo...Celtic got through 2 pillows before he was full up.

Breezed through customs trying not to do or say anything silly as the Americans seem to give anyone wearing the semblence of a uniform av ery big gun holstered to their waist.

I personally find it distressing watching very large very old ladies swaggering along bearing firearms.

As well as giving everyone the low down on poker adventures etc..as a Vegas Virgin im going to try and give others who have not been an idea of what its like.

Ok first of all....its bloody hot..102 today...christ on a bike !!!  its like opening the door to a furnace and poking your head in..and the heats very dry.

Ok Vegas????

WOW !!! Everything is American BIG plus some and the hotels are awesome.The Venetian is something to behold very elegant and oppulent.They had 13 check in staff for Gods sake !!!! No Welcome Break Malarky here matey.

Ive also now realised why Americans are so big...We had dinner at one of the Ventian restaurents..Burger and chips..They must have kiiled a small herd for each burger...the size of these things elief and left me and Celtic absolutely stuffed 2 overflowing and we have small metal trophies for eating.

We then planned our first assault on the americans....The Venetian card room is something to behold and so well run its scary.

Me Celtic and chompy decided to try the 8pm comp same structure as Luton Friday 5k 30 min clock....I barely made it to the 2nd level..being clever with top pair top top kicker into a flopped 2 pair and then trying to push some woman who looked like the fat one out of witches of eastwick off a flopped set with an up and downer that didnt come.....

Then Dave 'Muppet Colton ' said to play the 2 5 cash as they were soft..wot he didnt say was that no one folds in the 2 5 cash game.1st hard lesson DO NOT BLUFF THESE PEOPLE... I could not get anyone to fold anything and quickly got ironed out for $400 and my tail tucked firmly.

Had a breather and chompy advised locking up shop and waiting for hands.  so one reload later and we are in the mix again and blow me I dig myself out of a hole and run it back up to level.

Had now been up for over 24 hours + long haul flight..thoughts began to turn to bed but the game was so ripe i thought id stay just a little bit longer....just long enough to get im a non beleiveritis  and make a horrible call against a flop set...The guy might have well wrote on the table in front of me in Pink Felt tip what he had it was that obvious..and then an up and downer that duly came in on the turn versus a flopped nut straight...so all in all a bad first day but its the first deepstack Venetian tmmr  so maybe better hunting there.

As an aside Chompy and Celtic still in 8pm comp 3 tables out so good luck to them

Try the Planet Hollywood buffett.

Thread is useless without norkage pics imo.  ;slavedriver;

No surprise there then

lol pics on way

Hope you win big guys x

Come on Dulux, get updating...

ok ok this is my first time in Vegas u know...

Right 1st deepstack tourney of our trip...12K starting 40 minute clock  !  wonderful stuff wot more could you ask for..
settled in nicely playing well even though i had a surfer dude next to me wearing a baseball cap with ship it ! written on it...well it was the most elegant piece of his attire as it looked like hed just fallen off his surfboard..

To be fair he wasnt a bad player and after a couple of hours he and i were the the two chip leaders of the table on about 22k...id made a couple of nice plays especially a pair of sixes against surfer dude who obv didnt want to go against me deep...but i sold the idea of a turned flush and took him off the best hand.

As you would expect in a field of some 340 runners i come 5000 miles and still end up on the same table as Celtic.

What follows may not be for people of a nervous disposition as we are about to impart some of the most horrendous poker play ever witnessed.

First Celtic got rearended by a woman who for some reason check called out of position with A 10 on a queen high board and then turned and rivered an ace and ten.

Then we saw a old american guy move allin for 16k more into a 2k pot.....yes i did say 16k into 2k with middle set muttering something about a flush draw...it was so funny u had to scrape mine and celtics chin off the cloth.

But then the most quality piece of play...to raise and a reraise old man river calls with A Q and the on a K Q 5 flop calls a check re raise allin from 2 other players for 15k !!!! OMG  and he still looked a little disappointed he was behind...priceless

I also saw with the blinds at 200-400 a woman call off 16k to an allin reraise with AQ ?? I mean cmon people this is a 2 day tournament and she was in for like 700 chips.

Ah well each to their own...anyway i managed to lose a lump by making a monumental 3rd raise straight into a pair of aces and then had surfer boy crack my kings with J 8 o/s when he four flushed ...sigh..but allin all was happy with the way i played and on to the next one.

Day2 saw the same comp and similar runners..  Celtic and I fell out of bed at tourney start time after a heavy night on the cash...we both got ironed out by a man who could not miss..when  i tell u this guy had 3 lots of quads and took a pair of aces willingly into 7 man limped pot and still won u know its not ur night.

So Celtic and I arrive at the Comp Hellmuth like l8 and settle in.I was sat next to a girl from the Uk called Donna who said she used to help run the gutshot..nice girl and n ot a bad player...Trouble is I was so wrecked i couldnt actually see the cards properly and had 2 have a red bull and 2 coffees b4 i could focus..fortunatly i played 2 hands in 2 hours and had a reputation of Gibralta  which allowed me to make some slick moves including a 3rd raise with 4 high.

Once again I get up 2 about 22k and get moved to a table with some heavy stacks and decent players.My chips dwindle down to about 12k as im constantly reraised or moved in . Finally I get some lunatic american straight out of American Chopper go to war with A10 v my AK....inevitably he draws out on me and im left with 575 chips with the blinds 400 800 100 ante....Now that my friends is a sticky spot..

Queue the music and Steve Mqueen jumping over barbed wire......I must admit I was pissed off with American chopper..it was such an awful move and I was steaming..and announced to the table ' I was allin with the Ump blind '  .My American opponents all looked suitably puzzled as ' ump ' is obviousley not in their vocabualry...only Donna who had moved tables with me understood and was wetting herself down the other end of the table.

Any way 3 times i moved in blind and all 3 times i drew out once with 6 3 o/s v A Q......after that i moved allin 4 times in a row and no one dare call me..god this was easy..y didnt i just do this before...

Finally I slow down and discover I have over 12K.Was this about to b the comebacks of all comebacks..??? Sadly not i dribbled a bit and then pushed into donna's 8 8 with the mighty K 4 ...but it wasnt good to on an 8 2 2 flop.

So today we move over to Caesars Palace for the $330 deepstack...12.5K and a 50 minute clock.

Ok some more vegas insights......Caesars Palace is bloody massive !

It has a shopping mall inside it the size of Lakeside  !!!..Its crazy and vast, sprinkled with massive monuments to ancient Rome every hundred yards and never ending avenues spidering off in to the distance full of shops selling things with no price tags on...thats when u know u cant afford it..I even see Caesar himself at one point with full Roman guard shouting 'Hail Caesar! ' moving through the casino.

You got to hand it to the yanks..G Casino Luton will never seem the same again.

Also worth a mention are the casino waitresses and their attire.It would seem the waitress jobs are very sought after and lucrative with some girls reported to make a 100K a year..however the waitresses have a very strong union and the casinos cannot sack a waitress if her figure and looks start to go...now people the outfits are best described as skimpy at best and a lot of the girls in the Venetian ( as it is a relatively new casino ) are young pretty girls with legs in the sky somewhere...however going over to Caesars the difference can be seen as the casino is much older and still carry waitresses from a day gone by...oh dear i kid u not they had one woman there must have been 60 if she was a day in a white mini skirt right at the breakfast line her face painted like a shanty down hooker..it was frightening...nearly as scary as the one with the figure of a roly poly..best estimates was she was 18 stone...once again in a white mini skirt and jacket squawking  'anyone for beverages, cocktails,club sandwiches '.......it was enough to make u not eat again...

.

Anyway Caesars deepstack..get off to another good start and my table has one good young player with chips but his half way round the table and i have 4 weak passive players to my left just waiting to be taken advantage of.

Also on my table are grandpa and grandma Jo from middle America.She was so funny she played 3 hands in 3 hours...2 allins and a massive reraise.Talk about tight...but the most unsettling thing about her was she was wearing a hat that said ' Hilton Head ' on it...I just hoped it wasnt her hotel job description . Anyway my passive little lambs were soon gobbled up before i had much chance to pillage and were replaced with big stacks handled by mean hombres..I then went totally card dead..made 2 minor moves and was completely crushed by the turn by a table bully.....chips dwindled and antes rose and I was forced allin twice when folded to me..( once blind ) just to try and survive.

Finally I got moved to a much softer table and the rampage began starting with calling an allin from a guy who resembled the dali Lama...and was surprised to find my K 6 in such good shape against his shortie push with 10 J.Anyhow my rivered house was slight overkill and so the rampage began with blinds and antes rising I began moving allin again and soon had avrage 30K chips...

We reached dinner break with about 120 left from a starting field of 633 ( apparently the 2nd biggest field ever to start at Caesars ) and I decided to go back to the Venetian for my shades as things were getting serious and there was 50 K on the line and I was sure from previous in the day I was giving off a tell.

During the dinner break I discovered 2 things..how to get lost in Caeasars for the aforementioned 20 minutes and the great new game in Vegas...its called crossing Las Vegas Boulevard or 'The Strip ' as its more commonly known.

This main road through Las Vegas is 10 lanes wide and i paced it roughly  145 feet wide....now you begin crossing the road when the little light of a hand appears and criss crossing traffic stops...so off i set ahead of the pack across the street ..im not even half way across when a big red sign on the other side of the street starts flashing manically and counting down from 15 telling me how many seconds I have left to live...

Bloody Hell !!!!  im fairly light on my toes and im leading and i virtually have to double my speed to get across in time..pity the laggers...it was like a bizarre game of frogger...

Any way back to the comp and i finally bust in 90th AK v the Rockets...10and a half hours and still 25 shy of the money...now thats tough..who said this poker was easy...Anyway back tmmr for another shot...u gotta love Vegas.

Breaking news our very own Chompy just returned from the Rio distraught as he busted out of the 2K WSOP Event in 22nd as he got raped in a pot that would have given him the chip lead and a real shot..unlucky m8...his luck was really out as none of the rest of us wanted to join him to drown his sorrows in the bum of the nearest lapdancer..now thats really kicking a man when his down..

Unlucky Graeme keep plugging away...

Hello mum, this is not true, it was the others that wanted to hit the strip club and I refused...

Nice try Chompy but no ones gonna believe a Poker Player

Celtic after being felted American Style

Pictures of the Bed & Breakfast we found to rest our weary heads

more pics

View from our broom cupboard

Minor Norkage for the boys spotted at Caesars Palace Pussy Cat Dolls Bar...

The very best of luck to you all and have a great time :) 

Hows the jetlag?

Ok so back in the saddle after over ten hours yesterday, with another deep stacker at Caesars Palace.
531 Runners this time with over 40K to the winner.

This sort of structure and comps are Poker Nirvana but I tell you now are incredible slogs.

Anyway another ten hours ensued once again going deep in to the final 100 missing the money once again...sigh

My starting table was perfect..I was in seat 5 and had an assortment of Americans so stereo type its was scary. We mainly had the ' if i raise boy i gotta hand ' and i'll only bet when I hit something ' brigade mixed in with a woman who wheneever she had a hand bet it so big u truly believed she was afraid of it...as an aside a lot of americans have serious trouble with their bet sizes. You know when they have the nuts as they bet way more than the pot as the guy who rivered a gutshot on me prooved by betting 3k into 1800.I did ask him if he had called the turn with a gutshot b4 i paid him off with top 2 but hey u gotta ask.

I also had the obligatory flush chaser who i heavy betted trip aces against and who never hit thankfully..think the cocncept of pot odds r lost on these guys.

My only real competition was another english guy and between us we ruled the table until he made a monumental mis step with a flush draw against uncle Sam who had a bigger flush draw that duly came.

So I duly ran my stack up to 22k just playing against my opponents general weak play....usual limp fold brigade and post flop miss fold to a bit of pressure...im sure these guys think there playing poker but in this day and age they r dinosaurs and me and the other brit were getting away with murder.

We then got broke which was bad news as I thought i could run up a decent stack at this table .Got moved 2 the left of a big stack owned by a yank who did not stop talking..although to b fair he was resonable entertainment...anyway most of the table was fairly passive except for one guy at the other end who just kept limp calling raises...position meant nothing to this guy and ace rag and gut shots rocked his world..he was truly awful and truly dangerous but he began ironing himself out and i mangaged to hold station around 25k.

Another table move and this time real bad news...directly to the right of the chip leader...young internet boy had 225 K when average was 20K...god knows how he got those...it was truly scary to see this overwhelming wall of chips sitting next to me ...a clear sign my leash was on truly tight especially as this guy wanted to play every other pot.

Once again i went card dead and with antes and blinds rising and monster stack next door I dribbled away.3 times i tried raising with semi marginals and 3 times i got moved in by rock woman from Loooois annnna...I tell u the only time she played a hand was to move in on one of my raises..a truly frustrating experience.

once again i got into move in mode and finally had a big allin with AQ that hit and i was up to 50 k.....

Fell back a bit after a multiway pot that the joe hanchem lookalike round the back wasnt giving up so i didnt fancy pushing my 2nd pair.

Then in the sb action was folded to me and i had A 2 .....facing mr monster stack who had by now managed to waste half of his stack i decided to move in and put the descion on him...with 25k to call to win 32k he thought KQ was a good call and he duly spiked a king on the flop and we were out once again 20 places from a cash.I h8 this call..he never had odds and could never consider he was ahead...but hey just an example of the minefield that is modern tournament poker

Played a bit of cash tonight but no good so tmmr is rest day..the 2 long days at Caesars has taken its toll and it a bit of sun worshipping is on the menu with multiple trips to the pool.

Back in the fray in the evening still looking for a score....The sheer scale of the fields rather than the quality of the players is making this a tough trip...but we soldier on

Quality blog guys.

Dom

Keep it coming boys really enjoying it!!!
Now go and win some cash

Sunday as the lord decreed was sunbathing day ( thats right isnt it...thou shall not play poker thou shalt sit by pool in 105 degree heat ) sure that was in the bible...anyway i duly obeyed and i and celtic didnt rise from our room until 2pm after a night talking poker and other rubbish with a well oiled Domnic..chompys pal and 5th place finisher at the wsope.Domnic great guy and loves nothing more than to talk poker .So we had a few beers and watched the venetian hooker sqaud eject a heavily tattooed black lady with very little on from the building.It was hilarious as she insisted she was waiting for someone at 5 am in a nearly deserted casino floor.

Anyway after some drinks and dips into the pool it was shave and shower for the venetian nightly $180 comp.
Was eager to get back on the horse as desperate for a result..unfortunatly was too eager and played about as bad as i ever have and was out early doors.

Sat on the cash and finally mangaged to clock up a score mainly to a big set over set coup and an interesting hand with 2 germans...oooer missus.

On my cash table were 2 germans straight of a delayed flight and playing 36 hours + with no sleep.One was in every pot and raising all the time..fortunatly he was to my direct right and i stayed out of his way unless i had a hand as he was very aggressive.His m8 was much more cautious and they were def soft playing each other whenever they got heads up.

Any way Mr Panzer commander limps under the gun and i come along with 10 J a nice cash game hand. His m8 jacks it up to $10 and it folds back to matey who says nothing draws his original call back and just drops a $100 bill over the line.

The dealer announces a call and matey is about to invade Poland and causes an almighty cafuffle and the floor is called.After much discussion and threats to get the tank from the carpark the german is forced to flat call and the action is back to me....i have a little think..its obv heinrich has pulled the old limp re raise with aces and over raised so much as to send a clear signal to his m8 whats happening... now it was going to cost me $10 to stay in this pot and see a flop..if i hit hard i could win half of Germanys national earnings...i decide 2 go for it...

The flop is a miracle K Q 9 and my mind is double checking ive flopped the proverbials...so i slip it to the first one and he makes a big bet which is duly flat called by his m8....here i made a mistake and my mind was panicking i was going to let these 2 get away..there was a pos flush draw i think 2 hearts and maybe my thoughts were that tight german had KQ or qj suited anyway i repopped them there and then and wasted a getting more on the turn..anyway both fold..heinreich done his doo das as he fold aces and then carries out an inquisition in german with his m8 who actually had AK...damm

Anyway finally got up with about $300 profit and managed to go and win a sattellite into the next days $540 deepstack.

So back into the deepstack stuff at the Venetian and 15K chips 40 minute clock...I tell u gonna miss these comps beautiful structure.

Anyway once again went deep..didnt hardly have any cards and was duly ducking and diving until i finally found a pair of kings that tripped up on the flop and managed to get the big stack at the table to pay me off for a big double with KQ...they love KQ here...

From there I went on a tear with antes and blinds now at steal / profit margins plus catching a young lady stop and going into my flopped top pair top kicker i ramped up to 90k with average about 36k...

The 340 odd starters were down to about 120 and i was looking good. I then suffered a couple of setbacks first reshoving a purported button steal when he had a hand...lol..and then reraising a mad russian for his tourney life and another 25k in chips with 99..he decides AQ is a good exit hand and duly makes the call...fantastic !!!  the words 'what to u think u were beating ' were on my lips but AQ out here is akin to aces but there u go.

The obligatory Queen hits and im down to 25K as we go into the dinner break.

At the restart blinds are 1500-3000 with a 500 ante .Thats 9.5k in the pot b4 we start and im in shove mode as i need to rebuild to at least avg which is 65k...i pull the trigger once with 10 9 suited no callers...then i almost go again v another shortie allin with A 9 spades..it looked pretty but this guy had been pretty tight although i had made 2-1 call v him earlier with 2 live ones and caught him with his pants down with K 8..which held...


But gut instinct told me not to and he showed kings..phew...shoved again with KJ suited and got looked up the big stack for 30K..he tables 10 10 and im happy to go racing...im not too sure y im happy cos at the mo i seem to finish 2nd in races..but light at the end of the tunnel a miracle jack on the flop...but the gods r oh so cruel with a 10 on the turn...bugger..another deep finish outside the money and the Sicilian crashes and burns in 70th.

I then walk straight over and buy into the night tourney which is 20 minutes old with almost a hundred runners and sit down next to....Celtic who has decided tonight is the night he fancies messing about with 2 portugese guys on the table.
I ramp up chips early doors catching a young girl at the other end in full shades and i pod regalia bluffing badly...and then taking one of the potugal boys off a hand.

Unfortunatley Chompy then comes and sits at our table and celtic goes into full banter mode and my tilt switch flips...Celtic goes out finally but im in ramapage mode and catch a young lad continuing when he missed with a flush draw check raise re shove....he lays down like a lamb and i pull the same move building chips v one of the portugese lads.but he hasnt missed and goes no where with his flopped top pair top kicker.  I miss my draw and im off with the hump and go and console myself with the biggest dirtiest burger the Venetian can offer..and my god was it big..am not eating for 2 days..no need to.

So tmmr another 540 looms and we are looking to crack these babies..didnt win a single race yesterday..if i can win a few of those we could go close fingers crossed...

As an aside my lower back is killing me from all the 10-12 hour days at the felt and some mad guy at our first table offered to pay for a table massage for every player at our table..i duly accepted.
This slip of a girlhad hands of iron and I wanted to cry out in agony as she dug her elbow into some region of my shoulder..i even passed a big hand pre flop because of the agony she was inflicting...i dont know whether she thought i was a big lad and could take her vietnamese torture routine but blimey oh riley she was a monster !!!

Anyway fair play to her my back did feel better and i managed not to cry at the table so on we march and some bloody money !!!!!  I hope.

another excellent report.........more please

We want more!

Just got back from todays 540 which was a big disaapointment. Ramped up to 22k early doors mainly thanks to someone reraising me too much and me snapping him off with the nut draw.

I open raise with A 8 Diamonds from the middle of the pack ( table is soft and slow ) tightish matey next to me flat calls and i pick up another one round the back...flop is    Td  9d 3c... not bad and first to act lead at it with a nice three qtr bet of 1400...suddenly tightish matey next door comes over the top of 6k !!  wow !...other guy gets out of the way and i think mateys not hugely strong..i discount aces or kings as this boy would def reraise pre flop.  so that left queens jacks or pos A 10 or if his really cheeky kq diamonds.....the big overaise smells weak and i shove the lot back up him another 8k on top.....he looks visibily distressed and i know his not calling.  He meekly asks if i would do that move with a draw...

me sir? no ur in trouble.....he duly folds jacks and im up and running..then just before the 2nd break i run into trouble.

theres a standard raise and a call from the button whose as busy as hell and been at it from the gun.  im in the bb with 67 o/s...its 400 to call 1500 and i see a flop...flop 5 8 10 rainbow...lovely i lead at it looking to take it now but pick up mr button..fair enough a 2nd bullett or hitting my hand might still win this coup...the turn is a 9 and strightens me out.

i slip it to him but he checks back....rivers a blank 3 and i decide to do my own betting he then reraises me !!! omg please dont tell me this guy called a pot bet on the turn with a gut shot???  oh yes he did and urs truly pays him off whilst asking if he has QJ...of course i have he smiles flipping them over....yuck!

From there im down to 8k blinds rise antes kick in i go card dead and get moved to uber tough table..eevery hand is raise and reraise.....i go trigger shy with AQ to a raise and re raise shove  and dwindle away until im forced to shove with the mighty K 3 and get looked up by 4 4 so hey ho shopping and sunbathing for me this afternoon and tonights tourney to see if i can yet redeem the trip.......

Good luck this evening mate

Brilliant write up mate. Hope you enjoyed the trip, was great to meet you guys. See you on the circuit soon.

Dom

Ok  so here we go hold tight for certain points of the following are not for the poker squeamish...

Evening $180 and we have our usual mix of characters old man America, internet shades boy and middle age mum from some god awful backwater that still drink from ditches...
Anyway I decide im going to play tight and not get involved or bluff the unbluffable..i.e any one remotely American.I dont play a hand for 2 rounds and pick up 8 8 in the middle unraised...I jack it up to 350 ( Blinds 50-100 ) and big up internet boy in the SB and the BB...flop is 9 3 2 rainbow and quick, as a flash internet boy shoves his remaining 1700 into the pot...its an over bet and so fast the felt has burn marks...BB folds and im looking at internet boy who looks like his trapped his doo da in his zip.

Im just totally confused ..it looks like a big ace panic shove or 5 5 6 6?  the flop is good for 88 but what the hell is going on here...anyway i duly call and wonder boy flips over 9 10 o/s....sigh...another great pre flop call out of position and then shove when u hit a piece.Ok i think thats fine ive still got half a stack.Then this old guy goes on a raising rampage 4times in a row and nobody standing up to him.his stereo typical american any ace and on his 5th raise i find A J in the SB...ok time to stop this guy..blinds are still 50-100 and he keeps jacking it up 500...i make it 1500 to go and the 1200 behind it is following no matter what. I suppose i shouldnt be surprised when he instacalls and the flop comes 632 rainbow..thats good enough for me and i move in on him...he instacalls..christ! dont tell me i found him with a hand..yep he flips over the mighty A 6 o/s and my jaw drops.. Was it my imagination but had he really called a big re raise from a guy who had played 2 hands with A 6 o/s  ??  MY night was at an end and wylie coyote thinks his a genius.

At this point my Poker in Las Vegas is at an end tmmr is wednesday and we fly home Thursday so no point in playing the deepstacker tmmr..Ive had a bellyful so shopping and sun tmmr for me...........or so i thought ...Celtic drags me to the satellite tables and convinces me to have one more shot..ok just for old times sake.
I duly win said satellite and were off to the races tmmr....

Wednesday dawns and I check my email...I have an email from my solicitor regarding my ongoing and messy divorce.She informs me my ex wife still wants more court action and its going to cost me £9,000 in costs.....Ding super fecking tilt i'm rampaging round the room waking a confused Celtic with a barrage of expletives that would break a bleep machines heart.

Im still steaming when we sit down for the deep stacker and im going out with all guns blazing and im going to take a few dodgy card playing yanks with me...im in every pot and catch a guy playing a set of Jacks slowly and my Q 9 hearts flushes up on the river and he cant let go...

Then I have a hand you dont need when steaming..Old Tight American guy raises in late position and I know his gotta a hand but im on the button with 6 7 o/s and im going to outplay this sucker no matter what.

The flop comes A J 3 rainbow and he meekly checks it to me...thats a green light and i fire out a big bet..and he calls....ok...the turn is a blank and he checks again..another shell from me....he flats calls..now even in my clouded mind alarm bells are ringing as aces or AK become probable holdings for this guy.
The rivers another Jack and he checks again..now i know its not good play on the info i have received but the devil is within me and another howitzer flys across the felt..the old guy sighs..this is either a slow roll or finally the salvo has suceeded...he then calls and my 7 high is dust..nice hand sir i announce you got me..and i'm keen to see the monster..

He turns overs K K.........fucking HELL!!!! I almost go into orbit..did this guy flat call 3 shells on an Ace high flop with KK...I start ranting at the table about what it would take you people to lay a fucking hand down..it was so funny...the old boy just sat there impassivley as I vented....needless to say this guy wasn't going deep although some lunatic tried to bluff him 3 hands later after seeing this crazyiness.

Anyway im now im on supertilt and i limp mid pack with 10 7 clubs...the guy next to me is gibralter incarnate and raises..he picks up one of the blinds and its back on me...im out of postion with a raggy connector to a rock..so of course i call..the flop is 9 7 3 two clubs...perfecto..i check to the rock who leads at it. SB jumps out of the way and I stick it to the rock with a big reraise....he instantly moves in and I know what his got..unfortunatly for him 14 outs and a head of steam means his getting called...K K is the hand and i club up immediatly for 35K....
I make no apologies and my anger subsides as I suddenly realise i actually have a stack.

I move tables and am one of the big stacks and I begin to focus..i chip up to nearly 50 k and im flying.

Unfortunatley accidents are always just around the corner in no limit and I played a big pot with a youngster floating him on the flop not taking my chance to take the pot to a weak check and letting him hit his card before paying him off..i then had 10 10 when some looney moved in with A 8..Ace at the door..8 8 v AK..king on the turn and finally 9 9 finding aces waiting for me and quick as that it was over..

My final bash was that night but wasnt in the mood by now and my AK found KK waiting....however i did manage to witness possibly the worst call ever..Greasy quiffy American limps under the gun..BB raises quiffy reraises and quick as a flash BB moves in for the Farm, surrounding buildings and 3 acres of prime pasture...Quiffy thinks although i think this is an exaggeration for a couple of seconds and calls...wow i think aces and kings..had to be to call the third raise mega push...BB duly turns over KK...oh oh i think here comes the early limper with aces..yep there was one ace..here it comes an off suit 6 !!!!!!!

Are u Kidding ME!!!!!!  Was this guy on some kind psychotic mental health drug??  did he just call a third reraise allin with A 6 o/s ???

The Ace in the door was sick..I was too busy vomiting to see the Kings not trip up...The guy with the Kings was visibly in shock and I had seen it all.....LOL

And that my friends was that...mucho poker played some of it excellent and some very deep finishes..but no mullah...which was very disappointing as deep stack suits me down to the ground but not winning any races and Americans who clearly have no idea what they are doing done for me but I have enjoyed every single minute and I leave these hallowed shores with battle scars aplenty and new and wonderful stories of characters and play that would make your hair curl....
So I will wrap up on the Poker front with some pictures and summary to follow....

Mr Garfield Smiling

photoshop obv

Venetian card room in full swing

I was def there

Been great reading.

Tx.

ya, agreed, really enjoyed this one

Well after we wrapped up the poker playing myself and Celtic accompanied by the ever cheerful Mr Garfield decided it was time to visit a few other casinos.

We started with the Bellagio and bobbys room which turned out to be a bit of a disappointment as it was a tiny room behind some glass..there were no poker faces present unless you count Mark Telscher ( which we dont obv ) but the room was rammed.Next stop the Rio ...2am 2 tourneys running and the last hand of the 1500 omaha rebuy...Eric Seidel ,Barney Boatman Marc Goodwin all present...Wow!   Then a guy breezed past me with 2 minders...looked familiar...oh yeah Joe Hachem  ;tightend; .... We moverd to other rooms..one really big filled almost to capacity..this was a satellite room where we found Mick Mcool and most of the Hit squad in attendance....Blimey real Poker players at last....It was all very impressive but we wandered back home trying not to encounter too many hookers.
As an aside as you walk along the strip you are constantly pestered by small Puerto Ricons handing out business cards for hookers..whilst wearing t shirts that said
' Girls delivered to your door in 30 minutes '  Wow...I wonder if you get them free if they dont arrive on time.

And so it was time for home, nearly missed the flight, was last to board and they called me by name..how embarassing. Nice smooth flight, even less to eat than on the way out..well better than fuel tax i suppose..and dear old blighty...im all pookered out and i dont thinkl ill see a card for a week as i recover from the front lines.

In summary..Vegas is an amazing place..dont think i could live there as going down to a card room at 6.30 am and find 9 ring cash games in full flow is a little surreal..but it truly is a place that nevers sleeps..its blooming hot full of equal proportions of the beautiful and the ugly and everything is larger than life.

Go if you can..as the poker is great but remember..most americans are truly awful players and you cannot bluff them..no doubt the jolly boys will return hopefully sooner rather than later and as i close news is reaching me that Mr Garfield has taken down a big score in the region of 47K..so well done that man and mucho nippage is in the post.....

Good job you didn't catch him leaving Blue Man Group imo