blonde poker forum

Im laying 2/1 up to max liability of £200.

The deal is i have one of dingdells 'bottom cleans' on the maximum pressure level, for a minimum of 45 mins. Photo evidence can be supplied.

If i cant bear it and drop out, you get 2 x your stake. Money can be escrowed.

Place your bets..

a) have you checked this with Tracey?
b) as I understand it, the maximum pressure is really not very high
c) we do not want to see a photo of your arse
d) nice use of escrowed

lol gl mate.

a) yah
b) the pressure can be adjusted AFAIK
c) I have a cracking arse
d) is escrowed a word? or do i have to say the money can be in ESCROW or whatever. I'm not sure if you are taking the piss or not!

a) OK
b) maybe we can persuade her to do that thing with a hose where you pinch it to block the flow then let go and let it all woosh out
c) I'll take your word for it
d) I wasn't taking the piss - a nice word used correctly.

Damn i feel quite proud of my vocabulary now.  Price is just the opening market rate. Subject to fluctuation.

What you trying to do, not sure i understand. Keep it in for 45 minutes after filling up so to speak ??

No. I just have to sustain a 45 minute high powered arse hosing pretty much.

BTW. Am looking to do a prob bet similar to J-man bellagio hotel room soon.

Let me know if there is any interest in betting please.

You mean you want to make money out of something you enjoy doing?

I think we'd need some info from the Hose Queen herself on what sort of power these things achieve before striking any bets.

thinly veiled  i know what escrowed means post imo

(http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/44260000/jpg/_44260108_firemen_getty416.jpg)

Tracey takes delivery of her new high-powered hose at the weekend...

 :)up  good luck you may need it lol

I agree with Andrew.  It sounds like quite a pleasurable experience to me :)  In fact, I might start a similar thread to get a free colonic  :D :)up

wanting paying to take it up the bum .... have you tried Flushy ?

A 45 minute Flushy!

 ;shame;

I will put my £1 up against anyones £500. I will let flushy nail me for 45 mins. Kinda need the money...

Who had June 9th in the 'Sunday8pm turns gay for pay' sweepstake?

SHIP IT !!!

I knew my not so subtle post would prompt him ... pay up chaps :D

Still laughing. Quality mate :)

If you're that desperate for money I think you'd do quite well as a rent boy/gigolo :)

Gay or Straight?

I have a pretty good service history for both..

both.  I reckon older women would love you!

can we get a time check on the sweepstake please as i had the 8th of june

 ;hide; tell me when this is over lol

Oh yes  ;kev;  Following a quick grope (from me I hasten to add) at the BB I can confirm he has abs to die for and a tight little tushy....

However as to the prop bet - the pressure can't be continual and can't be too high or it will puncture the bowel. Sorry...

I suggest if a colonic is involved you add public humiliation such as videoing it and put it on utube with a request for a new boyfriend. Anyone any other suggestions as to how to make it worth a prop bet?

Lets do this - everyone chip in - gogogogogo

This is a super easy bet, you might be up for it and so might flushy but 45 minutes?!

 ;nana;

does the 45 minutes include foreplay?

I have no interest in this bet, but it would be interesting to get an over/under wager going on how much weight he loses immediatley after. Correct me if Im wrong Tracey, but dont most people lose like half a stone after their first colonic?

Failing that, I spose we could all have a 'who can do the biggest shit' competition or the classic 'who can piss the highest' wager

Gigalo FTMFW,

 rotflmfao

If only!! Often people stay the same as any 'matter'lost during the treatment is balanced by the weight of water absorbed. Most people are dehydrated - I'm looking at almost all of you as I say this - so during the treatment water is absorbed via the mucosal layers within the bowel into the body. We all run our bodies like cars without oil - in other words very badly. Cars without much oil will start to rattle and thats' what we all do - rattle as we become more and more dehydrated.

Symptoms of dehydration in the body include tiredness, bloating, either too hard or runny poo (long but logical explanation for that one!), excessive gas, IBS type symptoms, headaches, skin problems etc etc.

Water should be drunk slowly and room temp to help rehydrate. Cold water or more than half a large glass of water per half hour will not hydrate the body - so for all water gulpers out there slow down!!

For those of you looking to loose weight this summer start chewing your food properly. Food should be of a weetabix consistency before you swallow and don't drink fluids while eating as this dilutes the stomach acisity so it doesn't process food as efficiently.

Here endeth the lesson!

And will someone please give Ben a job so he doesn't have to take Flushy?? TY.

i thought flushy was taking ben...

Can you explain why cold water or lots of it doesn't work?

And thanks for spoiling my potential bet winner - I was going to take the under on the weight loss no matter what the line because of the dehydration thing...

Come up with something then Blondes. I already have some private action for this bet...

Would also like to hear some (achievable) prop bets that others would like me to perform.

Arsejuice cocktail?

Cold water makes tissue in the body tighten so it's less likely to absorb as well. Example - if you got a chicken breast and skinned it and washed it under cold water the tissue would go harder and it shrinks slightly, do the same under room temp water and the chicken meat stays softer. So warm water entering the stomach means tissue stays soft and more absorption takes place.

Volume of water.... The tummy isn't that big and if you 'flood' it the stomach can't process it properly - the body needs time for all processes - and you will just pee it out. Someone who pees a lot and it's clear rather than coloured is likely to be dehydrated because the water isn't staying the body long enought to flush toxins out. If you feel bloated after drinking water you are drinking it too quickly and possibly too cold.

Birds of prey - often after eating need to perch for hours after eating to allow the food to be processed - which is why they do a lot of sitting around!

NO NO NO NO NO

It's a bit complicated to explain Andrew, but it's all about something called "right spinning cells".  They spin the wrong way if you drink too much, eat Sausage Rolls, have too many late nights, or don't wear a vest. I'm surprised you were not aware of that.

That's very interesting - I do drink a lot of water, but it is ice cold. Room temp water is a bit bleeuurrgh though.

That explains it - I've been drinking my water anti-clockwise. No wonder it's not working.

Yup, you got it in one. In the Southern Hemisphere, of course, it's exactly the opposite.

If one eat's one's packed launch at room temperature, is it healthier?

I'm willing to put up funds for Ben to be arse-pumped full of fizzy drinks for 45 minutes. soda stream ftw.

Wait while snap ol lad & I'll tell thee messen.

I think this sounds pretty good

Behave.

Then you are totally warped. The bowel is one of the most absorbative areas of the body, hence why many countries administer medicines through pessaries in the bowel.

Putting gassy substances in the bowel could prove fatal - seriously - for many reasons - but one being there is a chance that the gasses can enter the bloodstream and cause all sorts of problems. DONT DO IT.

ARMAGEDDON !!

so how much water do you need to drink to become hydrated?  & does guinness do the same job?

how much can I stake you Ben?

Thats not very nice :(

Do you still get hamsters from the same pet shop?

 :D listen to the expert though.

think again, don't play with your bottom.

Very often it's difficult to rehydrate properly as the cells have protected themselves with a mucus layer to prevent them drying out any further. This also means it's difficult for matter inside the cells to get out easily leading to stagnation within the body. Obv this doesn't happen completely otherwise you would be dead!!

There is no alsolute answer Dewi because everyones levels of hydration. cellular mass, eating habits and health history is different. We should all be drinking 2 litres of plain water a day. But drinking too much can also be dangerous as you can flush essential salts from the body. This can be fatal - marathon runners who do not take in salts in the right levels but have loads of water during a race for example.

 Christ I am going to start drinking water now at work, leave it on the window until warmish and sip it like tea!

the trouble with health and nutrition is that one expert can say one thing and another expert will say the complete opposite often after reading the same research papers, which leads to confusion in non experts like myself.

http://www.snopes.com/medical/myths/8glasses.asp (http://www.snopes.com/medical/myths/8glasses.asp)

I drink 4 to 5 pints of water every day.  Minimum.  Straight from the tap and takes about an hour per pint to drink them down.  Can't stand sodas, not a big fan of coffee or tea either.  Only other thing I'll drink is a glass of juice in the morning (not taking into account a night out, obv).  How much trouble am I getting meself into?

for potentially £100 profit punctured bowel in the minimum he should expect IMHO

You grabbed his tummy and he told you that the braking system on his car was dangerously defective?

Trace, please difine 'plain water'

I thought the whole idea of this treatment was so that Ben wouldn't be leaving any skidmarks.

Not flavoured, non fizzy ideally.

Why not fizzy? I love fizzy water :(

and why not flavoured?

and why not Coca Cola?

And how many is too many?!

me too, getting healthy sucks

Fizzy is ok but doesn't absorb as well - and all those bubbles make you gassy...one thing most if my clients are trying to avoid.

True discussion with client

Client "I am really bloated and always gassy"

Me "Do you think the 2 litres of coke you are drinking on a night time has anything to do with it?"

Client "No. I'm wondering if I'm intollerant to a food and it makes me bloat..."   dear God....


The body wants it pure - so when it's flavoured it has to extract the flavour before it can let it run around in the body and be absorbed.
Do you really want the cells that are 'working' you running on orange squash? Plain water ftw!!