blonde poker forum

In the spirit of blonde I thought I would start this thread whilst I sit here trying not to look down whilst waiting for my cab to take me to A&E..

As blondes we laugh, cry and rail together, so why not share a few of our times when we just want to curl up and disapear because of what we have just done, these can be funny, embarrissing, as personal as you like, sad or even just wierd but they make us who we are.

Ill start,

As I eluded to early I am waiting for a cab to take me to A&E, "what could of happened top the fat one" I hear you cry. Well whilst shaving my privates for the 100 odd time I noticed the batteries on my set of clippers wher running very low, trying to get it all done in one go I carried on. Now as the blades where not running as fast I had to put a little more pressure on them and with the slightest of slips, the blades bit. And they held on, cue the blood, and the screams you would associate with a 8 year old girl, and as the blades chewed further my near swooning. I managed to shut them down before we reached anything to delicate but I am still left with a inch long cut that is quite deep and bleeding like a stuck pig. I think sticthes are needed.

Well hopefully that cheered a few people up and made a few lol, now obver to you. What have you done that can cheer me up?

Well it certainly made me gasp, then obviously LOLOLOL!

Not sure what to say tbh, apart from OUCH xxx

LOL

i once had hair like Trigg's

dont worry it will only be a little prick

Ditto ... I will try and dig out the photos.

Actually my sister has them, i will see if i can get her to scan one and send it over

OMG!!!   rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao  Sorry.  Ouch and all, but  rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao  Hope all goes well and they fix you without much hassle.

id love proof that you or booder actually had any hair, ever. **waits with baited breath***

sigh..

Nice barnet there Colonel  :D

its fkin mickey pierce loooooool

Quality

Plenty of mobile hairdressers in the yellow pages. get someone in to do it for you in future.

Photo shopped from the booder obv. He looks identical there to now (minus the photoshopped hair).

That fella on the right looks a bit of a plank tho

i'll take that as a compliment Rooks,thank you,seeing as the pic was taken 23 years ago

Ditto














It wasn't on my head though....

:D

Ok 3 hours, 2x butterfly stiches and a whole load of sniggering later I am back. they rushed me through A&E either because they took pity on my bleeding old fella or because they didnt want blood on the seats.

I would like to thank the hospital staff for all there hard work, as this is'nt the nicest of injuries for anyone to have to deal with. I would also like to especialy thank the nurse with the gentlest touch and most calming voice in England, Paul I doth my cap to you.

I kid you not they gave me the bloody burly, pissed of geezer to clean me up and sew up my battered bag...This bloke was trying to get into the guiness book of records for scrotum streached the farthest distance im sure.

Well i'm back home now via the pub after being voilated by paul and told to rest my stretched and sliced plums for two weeks.

Funny haircuts are good fellas but I will need more detail to help myself and my torn sack to have the slightest of giggles.

ouch ouch ouch - glad you're all sorted now.

OK - I have an embarrasing one for you.  About 13 years ago, it was a lovely sunny day and I was wearing a short, flared skirt.  Underneath I had on an old pair or greying granny knickers on which the elastic had just about reached it's last legs, so the top of the pants were hanging down not leaving a great deal to the imagination (let's say I was due a grooming).  Went out for a walk at lunchtime past a cafe full of builders who all turned to leer as you do when a 19 year old in a short skirt ambles past.  It was at precisely that moment that a gust of wind lifted the skirt full up :( 

Moral of the story - always wear jeans (or nice undies!)

Thats better, a story to be ashamed about, so 13 yrs ago that would make you ?? now .. sorry .. right come on blondes more storys please.

I could make the longests thread on Blonde about my fuck ups but I will let others carry on first

Kev is a degen, he must have a story for us!!

I have loads ... but not suitable for public view ;)

you gonna post your pics mug ?

spoke to my Sis last night, she is emailing the offensive pic over tonight ... I do however reserve the right to bottle it ;)

wouldnt that womens cream thing do the job?? veet isnt it?? fk that having clippers in the area

That stuff burns sensitive skin though - no way I'd use it there.

Better with a mach 3 and a steady hand.... erm so I heard...

Phat,

you have my sympathies mate. My curent problems are defined in this clip and part of this vid covers your embarrassment at having another man attend to your manhood.

And obv is the most embarrassing thing to happen to me in a while.

p.s. I have so laffed.

Geo.

http://noolmusic.com/videos/billy_connolly_prostate.php

ahahahahhahaha, very funny lol

I lost a testicle up near my shaft today and thought I might have to go the hossie. A minute or two later it dropped back down. Phew. Hope that doesn't happen again.

It's much better to use the women's blades, venus I think they might be called.

Apparently they're much more gentle and less prone to nicking because they're designed for sensitive bird skin rather than rough prickly bloke's faces.

Erm.... So a friend tells me....

Ha Ha that was very good

Billy Connolly. Imo the funniest man on the planet.

Nice clip.

Went to see the Rolling Stones at Maine Road, Manchester in the late eighties and instead of driving back to Stoke on Trent we decided to stop over at my in laws at Hazel grove, Stockport. So concert over and off for a few beers then back to the in laws and bed, which was a blow up thingy in the lounge. Middle of the night the beer gets the better of me and I need to take a leak. Blurry eyed I virtually sleepwalk to the bathroom and do what I have to do. I come out of the bathroom and turn into what would by my bedroom if only I was at home. There I am Starkers trying not once but twice  to get into bed next to my mother in law. Breakfast was a very quiet affair.

 ;ashamed; ;ashamed; ;ashamed;

It was Windy, that was a full keegan !!

Nice 'do'...if yer into that sort of thing.   

See that thing in my hands ... I named it Kinboshi


See that thing on my head ... I didnt name that

Didn't know you have a wooden leg Kev.

Good spot!!!   rotflmfao ;applause;

b
e
a
utiful

How's the ummmmm... 'healing' going?