|
Title: Colonic questions Post by: Dingdell on March 19, 2009, 11:50:48 AM OK - I am half heartedly writing this as I know I will get some stupid answers - but as we have been so helpful for sofaking I was hoping you could do the same for me.
I am putting together a download for the colonic procedure, to include the following so far - it's a work in progress. It's meant to include everything and more you need to know about colonics, and related subjects. Intro – warning – there will be information about poo in these pages! This is in easily understandable written English with pictures – no dull text books here! Why colonics? To include history of colonics, what people have said about the benefits, testimonials Am I ok to have a colonic - contraindications. How the body works The Bristol scale - (how to identify poo types), what colours of poo mean. What you could do before and after having a colonic to enhance the benefits The procedure - to include ease of insertion, what happens during and immediately afterwards. Q&A Will it hurt Is there an embarassing smell? Will I loose weight? Do you have IBS? Will it help with bloating Colonics and candida - what it is, how to check if you have it. What else can I do to help with cleansing Why laxatives don't really help if you're constipated How to choose a good therapist - what you should ask before choosing your therapist Societies/association/charity links - such as IBS association, bowel cancer charities etc etc if there is anything else that springs to mind please let me know. As non colonic people there may be something you would want to know that I haven't thought of. Thanks. Title: Re: Colonic questions Post by: cia260895 on March 19, 2009, 12:02:57 PM You missed the most important question for hetro males.....
Is it gay for blokes to have things inserted up their bums? ;bumwiggle; Title: Re: Colonic questions Post by: tikay on March 19, 2009, 12:33:16 PM Will I loose weight?
It's "lose" Tracey. Maybe include a cost guide? ("How much will it cost?", or "Is it Expensive?" sorta thing). Title: Re: Colonic questions Post by: DaveShoelace on March 19, 2009, 12:43:06 PM Hi ya'll
My girlfriend was REALLY ill towards the end of last year, serious stomach pain and the runs. Thanks to Tracey she got loads of advice and did a course of colonics and it did the business for her. It took a few sessions to see the benefit but after about 4 weeks she hasnt had any stomach pains or other symptoms since, it improved her complexion, she lost some weight (she is pretty slim anyway but it gave her a cool toned stomach for a bit) and generally seemed to have much more energy for a while. So there, cheque is in the post I assume Tracey? Title: Re: Colonic questions Post by: biscuit898 on March 19, 2009, 01:09:41 PM what do use, for example i have heard of people using coffee (or even alcohol). What is the temperature of the liquid? How is the liquid drained? What position will i be in?
Title: Re: Colonic questions Post by: Dingdell on March 19, 2009, 01:52:09 PM what do use, for example i have heard of people using coffee (or even alcohol). What is the temperature of the liquid? How is the liquid drained? What position will i be in? that's brilliant - just the sort of thing i was thinking of - more of that please - and thank you DS for your kindwords! Title: Re: Colonic questions Post by: kinboshi on March 19, 2009, 05:24:15 PM Does it make good radio?
Title: Re: Colonic questions Post by: Colchester Kev on March 20, 2009, 02:20:37 AM You missed the most important question for hetro males..... Is it gay for blokes to have things inserted up their bums? ;bumwiggle; !!! Title: Re: Colonic questions Post by: thetank on March 20, 2009, 02:39:55 AM If I were getting the procedure, I'd be wondering about what sort of qualification a person needs to carry this out and/or how much experience they have in the field.
Title: Re: Colonic questions Post by: kinboshi on March 20, 2009, 10:47:22 AM If I were getting the procedure, I'd be wondering about what sort of qualification a person needs to carry this out and/or how much experience they have in the field. It's not experience in the field you need to be worried about. Title: Re: Colonic questions Post by: RED-DOG on March 20, 2009, 10:56:09 AM If I were getting the procedure, I'd be wondering about what sort of qualification a person needs to carry this out and/or how much experience they have in the field. I have no qualifications, but with my background, I have loads of experience of pooing in fields. Title: Re: Colonic questions Post by: cia260895 on March 20, 2009, 12:11:36 PM YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k1ZBJxdhL3A
have fun xx Title: Re: Colonic questions Post by: trafficjam on March 20, 2009, 03:40:53 PM YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k1ZBJxdhL3A have fun xx lol don't think I will send my hubby he has enough wind cannot imagine what he would be like after that! Title: Re: Colonic questions Post by: Tractor on March 20, 2009, 03:59:46 PM colonic questions..Last poster Trafficjam
Made me LOL anyway. Title: Re: Colonic questions Post by: trafficjam on March 20, 2009, 04:30:45 PM Years ago most people had an enema before an operation or before giving birth and I believe they used soapy water. You had to hold this soapy water in for as long as you can and it was quite embarrassing if you let go before the nurse brought the bucket for you!
I would like to know what is the maximum volume of water used and is it just water or other solution used. I would also like to know if the insertion used (before the tube is attached) is discarded after treatment as I would be very wary of infection. Title: Re: Colonic questions Post by: Colchester Kev on March 20, 2009, 04:39:33 PM Please pack it in .... at least until after the 24th April ffs.
Title: Re: Colonic questions Post by: tikay on March 20, 2009, 05:10:15 PM Please pack it in .... at least until after the 24th April ffs. Oh she plans to. ON the 24th. Title: Re: Colonic questions Post by: Simon Galloway on March 20, 2009, 07:36:13 PM "How long can I expect to shit rusty water for after the procedure?"
Title: Re: Colonic questions Post by: Bongo on March 20, 2009, 07:40:20 PM Not one for the guide but... How did you get into the occupation?
Title: Re: Colonic questions Post by: Colchester Kev on March 20, 2009, 07:52:47 PM FFS !!!
http://blondepoker.com/forum/index.php?topic=40356.0 Like im not nervous enough ....... behave !! Title: Re: Colonic questions Post by: Indestructable on March 20, 2009, 08:14:15 PM What are the risks, and I don't mean can it go down as well as up?
Title: Re: Colonic questions Post by: Kev B on March 21, 2009, 09:21:35 AM Do you get coffee/tea and bickies after?
Title: Re: Colonic questions Post by: The_nun on March 21, 2009, 09:27:09 AM Does it dribble out for hours after?
Title: Re: Colonic questions Post by: madasahatstand on March 21, 2009, 09:27:26 AM I have what might be a daft question. Do you have to move your bowel before the irrigation to get the best out of it? Does Kev get an enema before the flush or is it all the same procedure? I'm sure he wouldn't mind the 2 part procedure.
Also, how are you planning to get some audio or visuals for us? ;) Title: Re: Colonic questions Post by: madasahatstand on March 21, 2009, 09:28:34 AM Title: Re: Colonic questions Post by: Colchester Kev on March 21, 2009, 09:29:58 AM (http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_tCcjI6S-GTw/SKBxraCYrNI/AAAAAAAAAFk/urXEeHbCcvM/s400/sad+cartoon.jpg)
Title: Re: Colonic questions Post by: kinboshi on March 21, 2009, 09:42:45 AM As Kev is full of shit, do you expect there to be any snags or complications? Will it affect his voice?
Title: Re: Colonic questions Post by: Colchester Kev on March 21, 2009, 10:26:25 AM As Kev is full of shit, do you expect there to be any snags or complications? Will it affect his voice? Trace has made plans for April 24th (http://www.itsforhire.co.uk/skips.jpg) Title: Re: Colonic questions Post by: kinboshi on March 21, 2009, 10:42:05 AM (http://www.english-heritage.org.uk/upload/img_400/NMR23439_22_WhatleyQuarry.jpg)
Landfill site is selected and currently being excavated... Title: Re: Colonic questions Post by: MANTIS01 on March 21, 2009, 04:52:36 PM Is it safe to sit on a bar stool after the procedure?
Title: Re: Colonic questions Post by: technolog on March 22, 2009, 05:15:21 PM If there happened to be a mains water pressure surge at the time of the procedure, do you think it would be survivable?
Title: Re: Colonic questions Post by: kinboshi on March 22, 2009, 07:09:23 PM If there happened to be a mains water pressure surge at the time of the procedure, do you think it would be survivable? What you got in mind Jack? Title: Re: Colonic questions Post by: technolog on March 22, 2009, 09:19:55 PM I honestly wasn't thinking like that, just thinking of Kev's safety ldo
But since you mention it, I do have a Karcher and a couple of jubilee clips... Title: Re: Colonic questions Post by: The-Crow on March 23, 2009, 02:35:48 AM Ok, its Friday afternoon and I am driving home from Luton and I put on BBC 3 counties radio to hear them say
" And now we go to a colonic clinic in Milton Keynes where we are about to hear a live colonic carried out on our reporter Tim." Sure enough our Tracey came" on air" Live and talked us through the first radio colonic. The reporter says " I've heard people really swear by this treatment", How much fluid will you use on me ? Tracey says " As its your first time I will use only 2 tanks of cleanser" "How much is that " says Tim "About 20 gallons" says Tracey " Now take a deep breath in and when you exhale I will insert the speculum" I had to stop driving and pull over as it was bringing tears to my eyes, bet it did Tim too Great radio Tracey, have you had many enquiries from new customers ? Title: Re: Colonic questions Post by: cia260895 on March 23, 2009, 09:12:35 AM Ok, its Friday afternoon and I am driving home from Luton and I put on BBC 3 counties radio to hear them say " And now we go to a colonic clinic in Milton Keynes where we are about to hear a live colonic carried out on our reporter Tim." Sure enough our Tracey came" on air" Live and talked us through the first radio colonic. The reporter says " I've heard people really swear by this treatment", How much fluid will you use on me ? Tracey says " As its your first time I will use only 2 tanks of cleanser" "How much is that " says Tim "About 20 gallons" says Tracey " Now take a deep breath in and when you exhale I will insert the speculum" I had to stop driving and pull over as it was bringing tears to my eyes, bet it did Tim too Great radio Tracey, have you had many enquiries from new customers ? We really should move with the times 90l is the rough equivant Just more than the average bath holds Title: Re: Colonic questions Post by: kinboshi on March 23, 2009, 10:27:50 AM Ok, its Friday afternoon and I am driving home from Luton and I put on BBC 3 counties radio to hear them say " And now we go to a colonic clinic in Milton Keynes where we are about to hear a live colonic carried out on our reporter Tim." Sure enough our Tracey came" on air" Live and talked us through the first radio colonic. The reporter says " I've heard people really swear by this treatment", How much fluid will you use on me ? Tracey says " As its your first time I will use only 2 tanks of cleanser" "How much is that " says Tim "About 20 gallons" says Tracey " Now take a deep breath in and when you exhale I will insert the speculum" I had to stop driving and pull over as it was bringing tears to my eyes, bet it did Tim too Great radio Tracey, have you had many enquiries from new customers ? We really should move with the times 90l is the rough equivant Just more than the average bath holds ...and the same amount Dewi and The Duke drink in an evening. Title: Re: Colonic questions Post by: Laxie on March 23, 2009, 10:50:05 AM Ok, its Friday afternoon and I am driving home from Luton and I put on BBC 3 counties radio to hear them say " And now we go to a colonic clinic in Milton Keynes where we are about to hear a live colonic carried out on our reporter Tim." Sure enough our Tracey came" on air" Live and talked us through the first radio colonic. The reporter says " I've heard people really swear by this treatment", How much fluid will you use on me ? Tracey says " As its your first time I will use only 2 tanks of cleanser" "How much is that " says Tim "About 20 gallons" says Tracey " Now take a deep breath in and when you exhale I will insert the speculum" I had to stop driving and pull over as it was bringing tears to my eyes, bet it did Tim too Great radio Tracey, have you had many enquiries from new customers ? We really should move with the times 90l is the rough equivant Just more than the average bath holds ...and the same amount Dewi and The Duke drink in an evening. Not a very nice thing to say. They drink LOTS more than that! Title: Re: Colonic questions Post by: Dingdell on March 23, 2009, 10:51:21 AM Water goes in from a holding tank so it's not affected by mains pressure, it goes into the body purely form gravity - and before you ask - no I cannot raise the tank to get the pressure up!
Title: Re: Colonic questions Post by: kinboshi on March 23, 2009, 11:04:20 AM Water goes in from a holding tank so it's not affected by mains pressure, it goes into the body purely form gravity - and before you ask - no I cannot raise the tank to get the pressure up! You can use a narrower gauge hose and nozzle though. Title: Re: Colonic questions Post by: AndrewT on March 23, 2009, 11:25:25 AM Water goes in from a holding tank so it's not affected by mains pressure, it goes into the body purely form gravity - and before you ask - no I cannot raise the tank to get the pressure up! You can use a narrower gauge hose and nozzle though. Or give the tank a squeeze. Title: Re: Colonic questions Post by: cia260895 on March 23, 2009, 11:36:07 AM Water goes in from a holding tank so it's not affected by mains pressure, it goes into the body purely form gravity - and before you ask - no I cannot raise the tank to get the pressure up! get Kev to lay on the floor for slight increase in added pressure Title: Re: Colonic questions Post by: technolog on March 23, 2009, 12:50:38 PM Thump his belly when he's 'full'.
Title: Re: Colonic questions Post by: Dingdell on March 23, 2009, 12:59:10 PM Thump his belly when he's 'full'. Oh I'll be doing that - it helps dislodge stuff that needs to come out.... Title: Re: Colonic questions Post by: MANTIS01 on March 23, 2009, 01:17:18 PM Would it be possible to add a bit of Fairy liquid to the water tank? And would that make Kev blow little bubbles during the farting bit?
Title: Re: Colonic questions Post by: kinboshi on March 23, 2009, 01:31:08 PM Thump his belly when he's 'full'. Oh I'll be doing that - it helps dislodge stuff that needs to come out.... There's a lot of stuff that needs to come out... Title: Re: Colonic questions Post by: StuartHopkin on March 23, 2009, 08:16:54 PM You missed the most important question for hetro males..... Is it gay for blokes to have things inserted up their bums? ;bumwiggle; Obviously will depend if Kev enjoys it? Title: Re: Colonic questions Post by: cia260895 on March 23, 2009, 09:05:56 PM Thump his belly when he's 'full'. Oh I'll be doing that - it helps dislodge stuff that needs to come out.... There's a lot of stuff that needs to come out... depends how much talking he does before hand |