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Title: How stupid are birds/wildlife in general? Post by: Dingdell on May 05, 2009, 06:21:39 PM Just seen a pair of birds trying to mate balanced on a telephone line. WTF? Surely the roof top, fence, bush would be easier?
Is this the equivalent of humans trying to have sex on a hammock? Title: Re: How stupid are birds/wildlife in general? Post by: Robert HM on May 05, 2009, 06:23:13 PM Just seen a pair of birds trying to mate balanced on a telephone line. WTF? Surely the roof top, fence, bush would be easier? Is this the equivalent of humans trying to have sex on a hammock? Nah it's the chandelier version of birdy sex. You voyeur! Title: Re: How stupid are birds/wildlife in general? Post by: pokerfan on May 05, 2009, 06:39:00 PM On holiday in Cuba the bird is eating a banana when she turns round and says to me "oo it tastes just like the ones we get at home"
Title: Re: How stupid are birds/wildlife in general? Post by: Nakor on May 05, 2009, 06:52:44 PM Coming home from Ibiza the Bird turns to me says "what are clouds made from?".
The bloke in the seat in front spat Beer all over his Bird. Title: Re: How stupid are birds/wildlife in general? Post by: gatso on May 05, 2009, 07:04:41 PM watching tv and the bird says "does boxing hurt?"
Title: Re: How stupid are birds/wildlife in general? Post by: Claw75 on May 05, 2009, 07:06:03 PM sigh - what have you done now Trace!?!?!?
Title: Re: How stupid are birds/wildlife in general? Post by: pokerfan on May 05, 2009, 07:18:09 PM Another one from last week,
me: ill just ring my sister bird: no point shes gone to Alton Towers me: oh right bird: yeah its one of the twins birthday Title: Re: How stupid are birds/wildlife in general? Post by: HOLDorFOLD on May 05, 2009, 09:10:54 PM Another one from last week, me: ill just ring my sister bird: no point shes gone to Alton Towers me: oh right bird: yeah its one of the twins birthday rotflmfao (Although it has been know for one twin to be born on one day and the other on the next (or even a few days later) ;) :P) Title: Re: How stupid are birds/wildlife in general? Post by: KarmaDope on May 05, 2009, 10:09:05 PM The bird at the time (my ex), who has an A Level in Maths I should add, turned to me one day and said:
"What's 5% of 100??" Title: Re: How stupid are birds/wildlife in general? Post by: cia260895 on May 05, 2009, 10:20:44 PM I was with this bird once when a documentry about flamingoes came on,
she said why do they always stand on 1 leg? i replied calmly "well if they lifted the other 1 they would fall over" 10 seconds later She replied "oh i always wondered that" Title: Re: How stupid are birds/wildlife in general? Post by: paulhouk03 on May 07, 2009, 11:04:11 AM I was with this bird once when a documentry about flamingoes came on, she said why do they always stand on 1 leg? i replied calmly "well if they lifted the other 1 they would fall over" 10 seconds later She replied "oh i always wondered that" i didnt know birds could talk Title: Re: How stupid are birds/wildlife in general? Post by: MKKfish on May 07, 2009, 11:12:44 AM I was with this bird once when a documentry about flamingoes came on, she said why do they always stand on 1 leg? i replied calmly "well if they lifted the other 1 they would fall over" 10 seconds later She replied "oh i always wondered that" i didnt know birds could talk It's permissable if all the washing and ironing is done. Title: Re: How stupid are birds/wildlife in general? Post by: EvilPie on May 07, 2009, 01:38:51 PM Watching wildlife on tele and there were some meerkats doing their standing up looking around thing.
The ex asked "why do they stand up like that". I said it: "so that they can keep an eye out for eagles and things. It's a predator / prey type thing" The reply..... "I never knew that meerkats ate eagles" Title: Re: How stupid are birds/wildlife in general? Post by: gatso on May 07, 2009, 01:44:26 PM Watching wildlife on tele and there were some meerkats doing their standing up looking around thing. The ex asked "why do they stand up like that". I said it: "so that they can keep an eye out for eagles and things. It's a predator / prey type thing" The reply..... "I never knew that meerkats ate eagles" winner Title: Re: How stupid are birds/wildlife in general? Post by: biscuit898 on May 16, 2009, 03:04:58 PM Watching wildlife on tele and there were some meerkats doing their standing up looking around thing. The ex asked "why do they stand up like that". I said it: "so that they can keep an eye out for eagles and things. It's a predator / prey type thing" The reply..... "I never knew that meerkats ate eagles" thats hilarious! Title: Re: How stupid are birds/wildlife in general? Post by: Maxriddles on July 27, 2009, 10:25:34 PM Watched Grand Torino on DVD tonight, when I took the disc out my wife asked if I'd rewound it.
Title: Re: How stupid are birds/wildlife in general? Post by: The-Crow on July 28, 2009, 03:03:51 AM Hey Meercats stand up , so they don't get splashed , of course
Simples Title: Re: How stupid are birds/wildlife in general? Post by: Amatay on July 28, 2009, 03:13:36 AM Watching wildlife on tele and there were some meerkats doing their standing up looking around thing. The ex asked "why do they stand up like that". I said it: "so that they can keep an eye out for eagles and things. It's a predator / prey type thing" The reply..... "I never knew that meerkats ate eagles" winner +1 ahahhahaa Title: Re: How stupid are birds/wildlife in general? Post by: pokerfan on October 31, 2011, 09:31:42 PM Im in the shower when the power trips out so i shout out to the bird to check downstairs to see if its all off, 30 seconds later she shouts back up, "all the lights are out but the laptops still on"
Title: Re: How stupid are birds/wildlife in general? Post by: ScottMGee on October 31, 2011, 10:03:39 PM Quote "all the lights are out but the laptops still on" standard Title: Re: How stupid are birds/wildlife in general? Post by: bhoywonder on November 01, 2011, 02:41:46 PM Im in the shower when the power trips out so i shout out to the bird to check downstairs to see if its all off, 30 seconds later she shouts back up, "all the lights are out but the laptops still on" Lol Title: Re: How stupid are birds/wildlife in general? Post by: Leatherman on November 02, 2011, 09:20:15 PM Went to chester zoo last year with the family and as were walking past the Zebra's i notice some wild rabbits in the field and the mrs then says "Ooh look rabbits, why would they put rabbits in with the Zebra's" :-)
Title: Re: How stupid are birds/wildlife in general? Post by: pokerfan on December 16, 2013, 05:45:24 PM After seeing an advert about Lions etc being endangered,
Me, why don't we adopt a big cat, £3 a month. Bird, where are we going to keep it. Title: Re: How stupid are birds/wildlife in general? Post by: millidonk on December 16, 2013, 06:12:34 PM After seeing an advert about Lions etc being endangered, Me, why don't we adopt a big cat, £3 a month. Bird, where are we going to keep it. Balla. Title: Re: How stupid are birds/wildlife in general? Post by: gouty on December 16, 2013, 06:42:09 PM Christmas Day trivial pursuit family game.
I read from card: "in which film did Kirk Douglas star as a slave turned gladiator"? My Mrs replies: "Asparagus". Title: Re: How stupid are birds/wildlife in general? Post by: BorntoBubble on December 16, 2013, 08:59:33 PM Playing a standard game of guess all the states in America game
Ex-Bird: It begins with M and is a type of Soup Flat-Mate (with no hesistation): Minnesota Rest of the room were just in shock (https://www.google.co.uk/maps/vt/data=VLHX1wd2Cgu8wR6jwyh-km8JBWAkEzU4,aCBnhye-Qdsm2EGlV0bAX5ED4dVP4cxGhs8gjyneeM9l-qQ9WPvwM-xbQYzoJHUC5WA8JVO_ziGYu0Otc3G2SIFymJ4LFc6giFWbu9PdpOYMYlgxOxVKbRqH4ElaorFIpafCoxxt-SIqWTeVfy78wSzFJPteXxf4LEMr9X8kfySKDErvqlQFjC17_si-S4MixYqkNvA) (https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTe8a2HEKMEc_iKw3EMDYl14Am4ODO0JhPeebKJFkXYDG7gH8PAVVFeFa5P) Title: Re: How stupid are birds/wildlife in general? Post by: Doobs on December 16, 2013, 09:53:46 PM Playing a standard game of guess all the states in America game Ex-Bird: It begins with M and is a type of Soup Flat-Mate (with no hesistation): Minnesota Rest of the room were just in shock (https://www.google.co.uk/maps/vt/data=VLHX1wd2Cgu8wR6jwyh-km8JBWAkEzU4,aCBnhye-Qdsm2EGlV0bAX5ED4dVP4cxGhs8gjyneeM9l-qQ9WPvwM-xbQYzoJHUC5WA8JVO_ziGYu0Otc3G2SIFymJ4LFc6giFWbu9PdpOYMYlgxOxVKbRqH4ElaorFIpafCoxxt-SIqWTeVfy78wSzFJPteXxf4LEMr9X8kfySKDErvqlQFjC17_si-S4MixYqkNvA) (https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTe8a2HEKMEc_iKw3EMDYl14Am4ODO0JhPeebKJFkXYDG7gH8PAVVFeFa5P) Is there a correct answer? Title: Re: How stupid are birds/wildlife in general? Post by: youthnkzR on December 19, 2013, 06:52:41 PM Playing a standard game of guess all the states in America game Ex-Bird: It begins with M and is a type of Soup Flat-Mate (with no hesistation): Minnesota Rest of the room were just in shock (https://www.google.co.uk/maps/vt/data=VLHX1wd2Cgu8wR6jwyh-km8JBWAkEzU4,aCBnhye-Qdsm2EGlV0bAX5ED4dVP4cxGhs8gjyneeM9l-qQ9WPvwM-xbQYzoJHUC5WA8JVO_ziGYu0Otc3G2SIFymJ4LFc6giFWbu9PdpOYMYlgxOxVKbRqH4ElaorFIpafCoxxt-SIqWTeVfy78wSzFJPteXxf4LEMr9X8kfySKDErvqlQFjC17_si-S4MixYqkNvA) (https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTe8a2HEKMEc_iKw3EMDYl14Am4ODO0JhPeebKJFkXYDG7gH8PAVVFeFa5P) Think I should introduce Naomi Callum? Title: Re: How stupid are birds/wildlife in general? Post by: NoCardDSC on December 19, 2013, 10:58:49 PM :pop:
Title: Re: How stupid are birds/wildlife in general? Post by: youthnkzR on December 24, 2013, 10:20:01 PM A serious conversation I had with my girlfriend after a trip to McDonalds only 2 days ago in the courtesy car I'm driving at the minute (we'd had a tiff just before and are pretty pissed off with each other):
*Naomi puts her coke into a square ash tray / change pot or whatever it's there for which is very shallow and would 100% not hold the drink if we sped up / went round a corner* Me: 'Don't put that there, put it in the cup holder' Naomi (angrily): 'It is a cup holder!' Me: 'Its deffo not' Naomi (more angrily): 'It is for fuck sake' Me (getting wound up): 'Are you f**king stupid? Cup holders are round and actually hold your drink' Naomi (even more angrily): 'It is f**king round! Its a cup holder duhh' *Look of astonishment from me* Naomi (still fuming): 'FFS what now?!' Me (still bemused): 'Are you really that dumb? That's a square' Naomi (really fuming and deadpan): 'Well I obviously got my shape wrong'. *Silence which fades into another argument further down the road* P.S. We're not always like this hahaha (but she really is that daft). Title: Re: How stupid are birds/wildlife in general? Post by: teamonkey on December 26, 2013, 12:05:41 PM A serious conversation I had with my girlfriend after a trip to McDonalds only 2 days ago in the courtesy car I'm driving at the minute (we'd had a tiff just before and are pretty pissed off with each other): *Naomi puts her coke into a square ash tray / change pot or whatever it's there for which is very shallow and would 100% not hold the drink if we sped up / went round a corner* Me: 'Don't put that there, put it in the cup holder' Naomi (angrily): 'It is a cup holder!' Me: 'Its deffo not' Naomi (more angrily): 'It is for fuck sake' Me (getting wound up): 'Are you f**king stupid? Cup holders are round and actually hold your drink' Naomi (even more angrily): 'It is f**king round! Its a cup holder duhh' *Look of astonishment from me* Naomi (still fuming): 'FFS what now?!' Me (still bemused): 'Are you really that dumb? That's a square' Naomi (really fuming and deadpan): 'Well I obviously got my shape wrong'. *Silence which fades into another argument further down the road* P.S. We're not always like this hahaha (but she really is that daft). she must be outstanding at other things if this is a daily occurrence!!!!! Title: Re: How stupid are birds/wildlife in general? Post by: youthnkzR on December 26, 2013, 01:35:56 PM She's a laugh a minute mate!
Title: Re: How stupid are birds/wildlife in general? Post by: willrobrobu on January 09, 2014, 04:12:16 PM stupid birds
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=07_4e6fNJ9Q Title: Re: How stupid are birds/wildlife in general? Post by: youthnkzR on January 19, 2014, 01:57:21 PM 'You shouldn't have your laptop on the bed anyway. It causes carbon monoxide. It could kill
You'. No way... |