blonde poker forum

Thought i'd post a small extract from my blog about my exploits at the cyber felt today. Sorry about the bad language but i thought it was kinda funny in reflection..... :-)

My lappy has been proper pissing me off recently. Twice i have had to shut down a session early because the fucker keeps freezing so i have to dig my housemate Scotchays crappy laptop out and by then i have kinda lost my rhythm. I also got stung by a fkin wasp today whilst in the midst of 9 tarbling which didn't help. I heard the little fucker buzzing behind my ear hole so i went to flick it away and the bloody thing stung me on the finger which tilted me up a bit so i went after the bastard with an old poker magazine. I was at 3 final tarbs at the time as well and there's me flapping around the living room trying to twat the little bitch whist the lappy was bleeping away. I swotted the little fucker but it was one of those swipes where you know you connected but you also know that its still probably half alive. After swiping it i couldn't see where it went so i returned to the lappy anxiously awaiting its return. Two minutes later i see the little bastard crawling up my shorts. I shit myself but eventually squashed the mother fucker. However, i didn't completely kill him off and he was still wriggling around on my window sill, but he was completely immobilised so i left him there. I wanted the bastard to die a slow and painful death for stinging me, bit twisted i know lol. I think i have been stung about 20 times in my life, i seem the attract the fucking things. I once stood on a wasp nest when i was a nipper and got done all over my legs. I fucking hate wasps!

Taken from www.amatay.blogspot.com ;-)

lolol, i h8 them too.

I always have window open through the night when playing online late & often the fkers come in, its ridic. Once 2 came in at same time!

I just grab the laptop, leave my room, shut the door and wait 2 hours. Usually its gone by then.


Few months ago though, there was 1 in my bed when i was going to bed! Jones and Brent didnt believe me until they saw it. Brent then got tennis racket out and smacked the sh** outa it though. :)

juuuune, the wasp in subway in luton shit me up pretty bad lol.

o ye, that was com. I was gettin it ripped outa the above incidents, but Jones was the ultimate girl in Luton.

greaze

I foooking hate them i used to drive a 7.5 tonne truck and one flew in the window while im on a dual carrageway, I freaked and slammed the anchors on and jumped out the truck whilst it was still slightly moving almost straight into an oncoming car. Dont know which i was more afraid of but probably the wasp.
I hate them  ;grr;

Not your best work Amatay, nothing like the 'p*ssing all over your laptop incident'

If you don't provoke or react to wasps they won't sting you except in very extreme circumstances.

Stop flicking them, hitting them and waving your arms around like a loony and you'll be fine.

Oh and vinegar or another acid will help ease the pain of the sting as it's an alkaline.  Bee stings are acidic, so you need to use an alkaline to negate them.

1 time at work a guy was letting a wasp crawl about on his finger saying "they don,t sting you for no reason" it sure did,nt lol.

and another time while having a smoke outside work a wasp starts flying about my head, i try and swat it away but it,s having none of it and would,nt leave me alone, so i make the 20 yard journey to the door,while the wasps still having a pop at me,all the girls in the canteen pissing themselfs as i walk past the window arms waving around like a loon,then when i get inside i turn round and the feckers on the window pane on the outside staring right at me,as if to say get your arse back out here i,ve not finished with you yet lol.

[X] V.funny
[X] Cheap plug

:P

There was a wasp on the bus today. With my rolled up copy of Flatland I took the fucker out with precision thwacking.

No applause coz we're British but I knew all the passengers viewed me as their saviour and I rode out the remaining 3 fare stages as the king of smugtown.

I got home and realised my book was all bent and smeared with dead wasp. That's the human cost but a man has to do what a man has to do.

Its tough to replicate that master piece mate.

YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=owTmJrtD7g8

My only regret is that I didn't have a bag full of Kit Kats to hand out after the killing was done.

They would have sung songs about me for generations.

I also hate Wasps

particularly Laurence effin Dallaglio

I am most calm around wasps mainly because if I get stung it results in an allergic reaction to wasp venom called anaphylaxis. It ain't nice and it ain't pretty to have to give me the kiss of life. Epipen in the pocket prevents some poor misfortune having to do that.

Keep a spare epipen or two knocking around, just in case please.