blonde poker forum

why are all the "in the well's" in BOB?

do they automatically go in, one is only 4 pages long ffs, cheapens BOB imo.

I love BOB.

Mr Bolt, many thanks for offering to do the well this week...


So, your best poker moment please?

And your fave meal?

they know the deal, when i get my t-shirt.

please please let's all club in a quid to get bolty a shirt. I have lots of questions.

thanks for doing this bolt

apples or cats, what is best?

biggest cab fare you've ever done a runner from?

ideal home game line up, 9 handed game, chicks only

when did you last wear a hat that wasn't a cap?

whats Annette like in the sack?

Nice one bolty.

Who'd win in a fight, a blind polar bear or a blind hippopotamus?

Which young offenders institution is the best - Feltham, Reading or Warren Hill.  Why?

How would you play AK UTG with 21 bb?

So, your best poker moment please?

I was playing HU with my mates dad, he was getting tired, i shoved with A10 he had k4, he said: "i'm getting tired and pissed off, have you got an ace, just tell me, if you havent i'll call", i said i hadnt so he called, when he saw the cards he said i'd cheated and went to shuffle the cards, we debated it for about 5 mins, i said if he shuffled the cards i'd go mental, he shuffled them so i threw my beer at him and smashed up the table, it was a good night.

And your fave meal?

stake sandwich, i usually buy a nice piece of rump to sort out with peas onions and potatoes but i can never be arsed and just usually chuck it in a sandwich.

And Larry the Lobster didn't make the cut.

Me and Stu were dev'd.

apples or cats, what is best?

cat in an apple tree obv

biggest cab fare you've ever done a runner from?

i was in erith(you remember the nightclub T's?) and it was just me and my pal and there was a little ruck but my mates head came open and some bird took him to hospital when i wasnt looking and he had my wallet so i flagged down some random guy that happend to be a cab and he drove me back to woolwich, he was a really nice guy and he told me where he worked but i couldnt remember the next day so i couldnt pay him back, if ever you get a cab in se london ask the guy if it was him, it was about 10 years ago but i'd like to repay him.

ideal home game line up, 9 handed game, chicks only

charlotte church
britney spears
countdown bird
SMG
this fit bird i saw in the street the other day
3 random uglier ones for when i get knocked back by the others

when did you last wear a hat that wasn't a cap?

I balance dvd's on my head when i'm bored if that counts?

sigh, youve ruined the whole thread now, tighty will be mad, never get BOB now!!!!!

of course. proper classy disco that one. my sister burnt down a cafe just up the road by the market, not the best idea as she lived above it

Who'd win in a fight, a blind polar bear or a blind hippopotamus?

probably a hippo as long as it doesnt have any other disabilities, dont let me pick hippo then i find out it's a diabetic later

Which young offenders institution is the best - Feltham, Reading or Warren Hill.  Why?

feltham, the prison cameras get steamed up in the showers so the screws cant see anything and you can bash up anyone you dont like(thats what i heard anyway)

How would you play AK UTG with 21 bb?

playing live I shove it all in and flip em then say: "piss on that you mugs" my thinking being aa or kk is calling, 1/2 the racing hands are, hands i'm crushing probably arnt so it doesnt really make a difference if everyone knows what ive got.

sorry...are they your real teeth?

Could be worse, I remember at one point Tikay wanted to add a thread where people had just cut and pasted song lyrics that they liked.

actually no, ive got two implants from when someone hit me with what i think was a rounders bat when i was 17

Were you ever into robbing houses for real or is that all just a running gag?

Favourite website for internet pornography?

What's the record for the most number of DVDs you've had balancing on your head? Do you take them out of the box first?

If you weren't a poker player, what would you be doing?

If you didn't have an ASBO, what would you be doing?

lol!!! i hope that's a level!!!!

like most people i got up to mischief when i was a younger but robbing someones house is about as low a thing as you could do

if you know it's low why do you do it?

can you get me a 32" plasma?

Yeah, but we can do some pretty stupid stuff when we're young.

Was a daft question tbh, because if the answer was yes, it's a bit too personal a question for a light hearted poker forum.

Favourite website for internet pornography?

i stick to the 10 min freeview on the adult channel

What's the record for the most number of DVDs you've had balancing on your head? Do you take them out of the box first?

think ive done about 8 but if i really tried i reckon i could double that, i dont take them out the box because then i'd have to put tham back and what with big brother being on and a sexy bird that lives across from me who i'm spying on i dont have the time.

If you weren't a poker player, what would you be doing?

I havnt played for a living for about 5-6 months now, been a tricky year and i'm working with my mate who runs a screeding company at the moment untill i get going again but it's stop start work so it's a bit frustrating and difficult to get anything going, where i played poker for so long i havnt worked since mid 2004 and i wouldnt really want to do anything ive done before, especially after playing poker for so long, going into an office from 9-5 would kill me(saying that working as a labourer isnt much better but its easier to reconcile with yourself thats its just temporary whereas if i were to take up an office job or something i was doing before it would be like giving up on getting back doing the poker thing and i'm nowhere near doing that) so i suppose the answer to the question is fuck knows!!! :D

Why have you never been to a blonde bash?

If Carlsberg made in the wells............

park bench, can of tennants.

the asbo is destroying society, people miss having cans thrown at them and the stench of urine when theyre walking through the park even if they dont admit it, it gives the place character

the scottish folk are gonna jump me for calling andy murray a tosser

baseball cap or hoodie when going to the mall?

wtf is a mall?

He's foreign, he meant shopping centre.  He's one of those immigrant people, had to pass a bloody hard test to stay here.

PFFFFFFFFFFT @test..if you can hold on to a truck you can get into this country :)

ah o.k

depends which shop you're going to rob

lets say you want the giant tea cup from clinton cards, deffo hoodie, but say for instance you want a nice scarf from river island, try getting anywhere near the place with a hoodie on, has to be a cap, (the more industrious shoplifter will have stolen said cap from JD's some time earlier)

is the centre of woolwich now an alcohol control zone?

fixed that for ya

real answer pls

whats your favourite website/forum for religious chat ?


if you had to give up one would it be stella or brandy?

yep

[  ] woolwich is the new greenwich

I should go, it's not that i cant be arsed but something always seems to come up 

whats your favourite website/forum for religious chat ?

Ive only been on one and boldie got me banned because they got suspicious when he kept mispelling "religion"

if you had to give up one would it be stella or brandy?

jeez i cannot answer, i really cant think, if i was pushed i'd say i'd give up brandy, there are times when i just couldnt drink another drop and get a bit fed up with drinking spirits but stellas always go down nice no matter what, obv brandys just different class but if it's for the rest of my life i'd go safe and keep stella.

whatever. you won't go unless it's in London because you're scared you'll get a nosebleed. Come to Leeds - you can get the same train as me as long as we don't have to sit together.

If you could choose the next 3 blondeites to go in the well, who would you pick, and why?

Are you ever going to add another post to the 1000 word poker story thread?

What's your favourite fast-food establishment?

Oh yeah, sorry about that...wanna go back there and say it's your second coming?

If you could choose the next 3 blondeites to go in the well, who would you pick, and why?

has tank done a well yet? i would ask endless ridiculous questions knowing he was obliged to answer :D
andrewT for the same reason
the spammer that put all the viagra girls pics up the other morning, his insight(pictoral and written) could be invaluable

Are you ever going to add another post to the 1000 word poker story thread?

I told you two years ago it's a work in progress, stop stiffling my creativity!!!!

What's your favourite fast-food establishment?

pizza hut is in a different league!!!!!

i got banned also

 ;tightend;

oh yeah i think CIA got banned as well

fucking boldie!!!!

would you rather buy a shop and then sell people milkshakes and yoghurts and sweets

or

buy a ride and charge people £2.50 a go to go on it?

Is this like a really deep next level philosophical question where whatever i answer gives you an insight into my character and you can read my soul for life?


Is the ride like the merry-go-round from the sting where it's also a brothel because if so that's my choice, if not i have to assume the shop has got a top shelf section and go for that

Are you jealous of BH's incred hair?..and how far would you go to get hair like his?

If i hold him down will you scalp him?

ldo..within a second

Which cruel person decided to call the favourite drink of the homeless  “Tennants” ?

if you had to life ban one of em who would it be out of nitboshi and boldie

what do you mean "had to"...shouldn't that read "could"?

your drug of choice hypothetically speaking for:-

A 2 day bender at some muddy music festival that only plays heavy D+B

A posh night out with some "classy" ladies in manchester city centre

Your prematch psychup before 10 rounds with that old hard bloke from snatch

it's so close but i have to say boldie if only to see the look on his face when he tried to log into the forum and it read: "dear boldie, please fuck off, that'll teach you for starting your own forum".

1) I should say pills really but if money wasnt a problem coke, never got into pills really, i watched the leah betts documentary when i was a school and it shit me up, despite everyone else doing pills i'd always do speed or coke when we used to go out raving, i think i was 20 or 21 when i took my first pill and have only ever taken a handfull in my life, i seem to remember(wrongly) from the documentary that she died of dehydration(i dont think it was heavily mentioned that she died from water retention) so the times ive done a pill ive gulped down bottle after bottle of water like a prick thinking she died of dehydration because of a government documentary about E's that was supposed to shit you up so you dont touch them instead of just giving you the info so you can be safe, i think it was on here a couple of years ago when we were having the drug debate i  found out about the water retention thing.

2)again coke(speed would NOT be your drug of choice for this situation) ::)

3) hatrick! :D

I should add i dont really do the drug thing that much these days, have never done hard stuff like crack or heroin

do you exist?

the only 2 people to have met you are tikay and he tends to forget stuff and get confused so it could've been anyone he met and claw who lies (she was telling people it was snowing earlier today)

Which would you prefer an eyebrow all the way around your face (that you can't shave) or no ears (you can still hear and wont fall over)?

Which would you prefer no elbows or no knees?

Pls provide reasons behind your answers.

PS

Thank you for doing this. 

BoB

And P.

This is the greatest question anyone has ever asked.

Thank you.  Its so tough! 

He means Tantrum, but he's probs forgot her name.

I've met bolt twice. I think this is a world record.

P was my secret name for Tantrum/Paulina. Can't believe you forgot that!

Poo. yes I do now. It's pronounced 'pehr', yeah? I didn't know how it was spelt.

With more and more women getting breast implants, do you reckon in 20 or 30 years time there will be a lot of grannies going round with a cracking set of personalities?

Whats your actual name?

Don't tell him Mark!

(http://www.tvscoop.tv/_39183011_dadsarmy_270.jpg)

Deserves love.

Bolt,

Have you ever been a DJ?

Your favourite holiday destination?

Books, what do you recommend?

Finally, Ostrogoth or Visigoth?

favourite poster on blonde? Favourite threads?

The lead on my mouse has just got trapped under my dog's stumpy little tail.

There is a high possibility that it has been in direct contact with his scruffy little brown balloon knot.

The lead is black so I can't see any offending stains but do you think I should give it a wipe just in case?

Thanks for doing this.

wtf? you still use a wired mouse?

How else can I scratch Ronnie's arse?

that's a much better question. over to you bolt

Bolt, do you even play poker?

Hype or Micky Finn?

Goldie or Roni Size?

Stevie Hyper or Fearless?

Awol @ SW1 Club or Roast @ United Nations?

Solid or Green?

Bucket or Bong?

Could dark Rum be the new Brandy?

Will you come to Fabric for one last night?

Do you believe you ever will get a T-Shirt?

Have you ever tried to guess a password and got it right - if so what was it?

BoB Please.

Is it true you once had a fight with a baby Deer, to the death, with a straw from McDonalds and when you lost you you had a fight with Death and beat him with your belly button fluff??

Ive been thinking about this question, my original answer made too many assumptions i think, under what circumstances have i met these "posh birds"?

Is it a sort of situation where i'm running good, come out the casino, throwing my dough about in the v.i.p area of some club and arranged to take these girls out the next day? if so i'd have to say no drugs, i'd want to be on my best behavour and if i use the wrong fork then i want it to be because i'm useless outside of a Mcdonalds not because i'm off my nut, or is it a situation where ive just bubble from a comp, cant be bothered going out to pull a bird so have picked up the yellow pages in which case i'd go with my original answer.

Simple Question from me Bolt.

Do you like Nando's?

TIA

would you rather be a badger or a fox?

Which would you prefer an eyebrow all the way around your face (that you can't shave) or no ears (you can still hear and wont fall over)?

I'm gonna say the eyebrow, i wouldve picked the ears if it did affect my balance because randomly falling down would be great and i think i could get 6 disabilty giros a month for that.

Which would you prefer no elbows or no knees?

hhhhhmmmmm, i'd say knees because if you're talking about kneecaps i'm sure that could knock me up something out for me at the hospital, like little metal tea coasters with hinges on, but if ive got no elbows then does that mean ive got no arms? ;carlocitrone;  that would be 20 giros a month but whats the point if you cant crack one off to emmerdale

jeeeez, dont post that sort of stuff on here, all sorts of disturbing images are coming into my head trying to answer the question!!!!

please feel free to post pics of sexy female russian tennis players to compensate though :)up

Would you go Big Brother? If so, how do you think you would do?

claire's bubbled it up now but i wouldve come out with some great that was like "something, something the third" and it wouldve had initials and probably had Dr at the start

Have you ever been a DJ?

nah, i was in a club once and remember the leather flying bomber jackets that weighed about a tone everyone used to wear, i asked the dj to chuck it behind him and threw it at him from about 10 feet, it landed on his decks and broke one of the switches, the tunes shut down and everyone boo'd me ;D

Your favourite holiday destination?

I'm a bit of a boring bod when it comes to holidays, spain etc, like claire said dificult to get me out of london, for me theres london then theres the rest of the world!!! i'd like to go to egypt though and go on all the tours and visit all the historical sites, i got into egyptoligy a while back and got loads of books from the library and just smashed through them all, i just love everything about the idea of ancient egypt(i could tell you what dynasty and kingdom any given Pharaoh is from throughout a period of 3000 years) ::) maybe SE Aisia and central america also.

Books, what do you recommend?

i know it's probably a bit of a cliche to say oscar wilde as every tosser who thinks he knows anything about words seems to pick him but everything he wrote was really just amazing, i got his complete works once from the library and read the lot, the short stories, poems and the plays, it's all just great and cant be topped


Finally, Ostrogoth or Visigoth?

Visigoths, didnt take no shit!!!!

jungle cats barred blondes house was just soooooooooooooo funny, i remember pmsl everytime he wrote a new instalment.

favorite poster probably tank, when he's on form no one can get near him

pfft, no.

If i was playing a serious session and the dog shat on my sky+ remote id just just chuck an empty pizza hut box over it and  put up with watching itv4 for the next couple of days untill it started to smell at which time i'd scopp the box, remote, and everything in the sorrounding area up and chuck it in next doors garden then ring sky to tell them there crummy remote broke when i accidently chucked it at fern cotton.

lol wtf do you think i'm doing here?

Have you never read my insigtfull strategy on crushing $0.01/0.02 on PHA? if you had you would never even ask that question

describe the top three best days of your life so far.

what was your most embarrasing moment?

are you going to come to the blonde bash or what?

1) mickey finn(my cousin knows him)

2) roni size

3) hyper d, r.i.p

4) AWOL, i had the record bag ::)

5) all that stuff mashes me up, anything that's a sort of downer i dont seem to take to well so at a push i'd say solid.

6) when i was 15 we used to do buckets, OMG!!!! i remember going home when i was nearly 15 and it felt like my head was going to float off and i was laying on my bed and my dad came in and i told him i thought i was dying and told him what i'd done, he was trying to be sympathetic and got me a flannel to put on my head but i was freaking out and really thought i was going to die, i kept feeling like i was going to float off the bed or my chest was going to expload, when my dad had firmly established that i hadnt taken anything else he just thought it was kinda funny and i think he thought that it had taught me it's own lesson, everytime i did something once my dad was always cool about it, jusy have a chat, let me know that it's not the right thing but he understands i'm growing up and will get up to things but if i done something 2 or 3 times, big trouble!!!!!

7)never, brandy ftw

8)i'd love to but you know what i'm like :D

9)I'd like to think theres a t-shirt on the horizon somewhere, at this point i'd take a plain primark t-shirt with BLONDE written on the fronty by kev with a betting shop pen

10)never, if that had ever happend you and everyone else would have heard about it several times over already, it's a drem of mine

i know it's en vogue but i do not ;hide;

loooooooooool, fox obv  ;)

it was a wimpy straw and the turn out with death was probably a draw, he tells his mates he won, i tell mine i won.

(it wasnt belly button fluff it was the stuff between your toes, that part of the story always gets told wrong)

looooool.

Best well ever, cheers tighty.

describe the top three best days of your life so far.

hhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmm, i'd like to say something really meaningful, like the land mark occasions in my life, big turning points but theyre supposed to be great so it feels like cheating, let me think of something different,

1)when i was 15 i'd left school(i was right on the age boarder for my year so i'd done my g.c.s.e's but still had a couple of months to go until i was 16) i used to go out with this girl that thought i was older than i was, she was gorgeous, 17 and worked as a hair dresser(she thought i was 18 lol) anyway we used to chat all the time on the phone and i remember this one day, i was home and my pal and i had been to golf all morning, it was probably june and the weather was great, we'd had a great morning and i'd come home about 3pm, i spent an hour or so talking on the phone to her and we had call waiting and my dad phoned to say he'd just bought a new stereo and t.v from dixons, can i meet him outside to bring the stuff in, i told her i had to go but i was going to see her later, we set all the gear up(my dads like that, he'll just decide we need an upgrade and go out and get it, no fucking around just go and get it done)he'd bought the album morning glory and we had it blasting out and i remember the sun was coming in the living room and we were just chilling, it was a cool day, me and my pal went and stayed the night at my birds gaff, we were drinking vodka orange in her garden until late, the whole day just reminds me of everything i loved about growing up.

2) the huge family Christmas dinners we used to have at my nans gaff, mustve been 20+ of us and it just used to be awesome, another memory where when you're actually there you're taking it for granted and its not really one of the most momentous of greatest days/memories but the collection of Christmas's at my nans gaff with the whole family together is something i really miss, after the big dinner all my uncles dad and cousins would play cards and smoke cigars and the women would chat and drink in the kitchen and me and my younger cousins would play with our toys, then i'd charge the blokes £1 a go to take messages to the kitchen if they needed another drink or something and i'd always leave with pockets full of pound coins ;D

3)when i was just 18 and came out of catford dogs with £6k in my pocket after spinning it up from £300!!

what was your most embarrassing moment?

erm, o.k, this is actually attached to the first answer, the girl(hairdresser) broke up with me because i was supposed to meet her and we'd got our wires crossed and me and my pals had gone all the Way there and i was really pissed off and went mental at her(i was drunk) but i was really horrible to her over the phone, also her old boyfriend came out of jail and i think she wanted to get back with him and i think it was a combo of this(and me being a prick on other occasions) that meant she'd just had enough, anyway i phoned her up pissed out my nut and told her i was only 15 and i hope she felt like a mug, when i realised what i'd done i belled her mate the next day to say i was just trying to make her feel bad, anyway i was still a bit loved up with this girl and wanted to get back with her, i kept in touch with her pal thinking that was the key to getting back with her and her pal did say that they both didnt believe i was 15 and that they thought i'd just said it to make her feel bad.
anyway me and my pals went out Friday night and one of my pals had also broken up with his bird, i'll be honest we used to have a lot of rucks but this night it was definitely going to go off, we were just on a mad one, we got into a fight with about 5 blokes in a kebab and one of them stabbed me in the head.

i had to go to hospital and have loads of stitches and wasn't in a great way, so Monday comes round and i phone my ex's mate and tell her whats happend and we're chatting and it looks like i might be getting an invite to a party my ex is throwing, she's telling my that she sort of misses me and through the week tells me she's worried about what happend to me, so i have to go and have my stitches out, two of my pals and my ex's mate come with me, were chatting and from the more she's telling me the more it looks like my ex is missing me, everything going well and the four of us are standing at the desk, this is how it goes:

"hello, how can i help you"?

me: "yeah i'm here to have my stitches out"

"o.k whats your name"?

*i give her my name*

"and your address"?

*i give her my address*

"and your D.O.B"

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

[ ] was really fun in our corner of the waiting room after that!!!! ;D


3)looks like an "or what" this time, sorry claire ;hide;

^ good post.

nah, no chance, i hate all that stuff, although i do watch BB,(just for the valuing in trading on betfair throughout though obv)!! ::)

how old are you Mr Bolt?

28

Brilliant responses bolt! Vwp

Don't know about brilliant..his "28" answer shows that he just can't be bothered with it no more IMO. He just didn't put any effort into that.

Which leads me to my next question;

Morning, noon or night?

Morning, noon or night?

talking about best time to post on blonde?

i'll say early morning when you are tucked up in your bed with your donald duck pyjamas dreaming about pricewise  ;D

I do like my Donald Duck Jim-Jams :)

when i was about 9-10 i had a t-shirt with micheal jacksons bad album printed on the front, it was my greatest possession, on the day i had P.E at school i chucked it and my shorts in a shopping bag as i couldnt find my own bag, my dad was rushing me to get out of the house because we'd spent 10 mins looking for my bag and was running late, when we got to the end of the street my dad gave me the bag of rubbish that he'd taken out and told me to chuck it in the bin(yes you can see where this is going) the funny thing was though it was about a 15 min walk to school and it wasnt untill about 2/3 of the way there that i looked down and noticed a teabag sticking out of the top of the bag that i realised what i'd done, i remember walking for another 5 mins before i got the bottle to tell my dad what had happend :D

I really wanted Spiderman jimjams but.....MrsB won't let me have any :(

GREAT answer - that'd be a terrific theme for a Thread. "best 3 days of your/my life".

Who will star as Bolt PP in the film about your life story when you die?

^^haha, awesome story...

If i die young and pacino's still about i reckon he'd give it a good crack.......

"kev you fuck, what the fuck do i have to do to get a fucking t-shirt you fucking fuck, wooooha"!!!!

I was thinking more along the lines of Joe Pesci as in Goodfellas

Bloke who played Robbie in eastenders needs a break - be perfect IMO ;)

Kebab in a pitta or naan?

FYP

I used to go into the local kebab when i had a hangover and get pita bread with melted cheese in it and nothing else, they used to look at me like i was nuts, the old guy standing there with the pita in his hand with a bemused look on his face not knowing what to do kept asking if i wanted chips or meat or sauce in it, he was so disgusted when he finally handed it over like he just didnt know what the world was coming to and when i asked him how much he looked like he wanted to kill me, he mumbled to himself and came up with 25p!

What's the funniest thing you've said on the forum?
If you had to be stuck in one year for the rest of your life what year would you pick?
Would you rather give Andy Murray a hand job or live with Bea from Big Brother for the rest of your life?
When balancing DVD's on your head do you ever think "this isn't as good as when i did it with Stella cans"?

nah they didnt ban me, I had some wieird looking bint pm me saying "oh hello and welcome to our special place" I hiked away from it then

darts or pool?

if you could slap a super hero with a wet fish and get away with it who would it be?


merc or bmw?

Stella 4%. Work of genius or work of the Devil?
On hearing Stella Artois was changing from 5.2% (off trade) and 5.1% (on trade) to 5% everywhere how did you feel?
If i offered you a beer and you said "Yes, Stella please" and they didn't have Stella would you be happy if i returned with Super Bock as a replacement? If not what would you have accepted?

Best well questions ever

I'll stop then, i'll be honest that is the best i cold have come up with.

that's brilliant. every time someone new signs up to blonde I'm going to send them a pm with that exact wording. it's a double whammy as it'll freak them out and they aren't allowed to reply

is there a way of sending text with an accent? I'd like to send the first one as kenneth williams and the second as vincent price

What's the funniest thing you've said on the forum?

I'll be at the bash

If you had to be stuck in one year for the rest of your life what year would you pick?

96/97, maybe even early 98, some sort of combo of the 3 ideally

Would you rather give Andy Murray a hand job or live with Bea from Big Brother for the rest of your life?

wow, tricky one, is murrays gorgeous bird at least there doing a strip show or giving me a handjob or something? it would help. i'll say living with bea under the pretense we were going to spend the rest of our lives together then i'd kick her to death in the first hour

When balancing DVD's on your head do you ever think "this isn't as good as when i did it with Stella cans"?

dvds are better, you can use more and get bored with just one stella, then when you want to drink the stella the games over but with the dvds you can chuck the disc in but keep the box on your head, the fun just goes on and on that way

darts or pool?

pool, when i was about 18 and there were loads of us sitting round my mates gaff and i was pretending to throw a dart and some girls leg and i kept doing it and eventually she said: "go on then just do it, you wouldnt dare" so i did and it stuck in her leg and it started pouring blood when she took it out then her mum came up later and threw an umberella at me :)

if you could slap a super hero with a wet fish and get away with it who would it be?

the guy in the weelchair from x men, god he pissed me off in the film, i'd slap that fish right round his head then tip his weelchair over.

merc or bmw


merc ftw

Stella 4%. Work of genius or work of the Devil?

20% less drunk over the course of the night, think of it in terms of alcoholic equity, over the course of a year can anyone afford to be that less drunk? you drink 4 of those in anticipation of the jeremy kyle afternoon marathon and you're just not going to be drunk enough, you're probably gonna have to watch loose women instead.

On hearing Stella Artois was changing from 5.2% (off trade) and 5.1% (on trade) to 5% everywhere how did you feel?

i was in a nice little country pub when i first heard, there was this old lady serving and she happend to mention it as she handed over the pint, i said: "you absoloute slag".

If i offered you a beer and you said "Yes, Stella please" and they didn't have Stella would you be happy if i returned with Super Bock as a replacement? If not what would you have accepted?


I find a nice bit of aftershave does the trick, nothing too fancy like ck or gucci though, a bit of old spice and i'm good

You have just mugged an 11 year old and had it away on your toes ... your haul is as follows.

a 6 inch ruler
a small bottle of tipex
an eraser shaped like a dinosaur
13 pence in coppers


You have legged it to the shopping centre and are going up to the car park in the lifts to examine your haul, and work out how much you could get if you punt the stuff out at lunchtime outside the gates of Chavsville junior school, when the lift opens and in walks Davina McCall.... shortly after Davina gets in the lift, it gets stuck and you are left alone with her .... You know that you have 5 minutes before the lift will start working.


My question to you is this.... Using only the stuff you nicked off the 11 year old, how would you kill Davina ?

exact demonination of the coppers please?

4x2p coins
5x1p coins

can i not just strangle her to death then go back and kick the shit out of the kid for having such crap stuff, 11 year olds these days have ipods, mp3's mobile and sorts of other shit and i get the one whos parents shop at Lidl's.

1) measure my knob with the ruler

2) coat the dinosaur with tipex then offer it to her as a sweet

3) when she refuses because its clearly a dinosaur covered with tippex headbut her

4) stamp on her head until death

(i'm keeping the coins)

Liam or Noel?

Ibiza or Amsterdam?

Top 3 pornstars

Sports fan Bolty?

Top 3 sports?

Top 3 sports stars?

Worst sport?

Liam or Noel?

Noel, all the songs that noel sang were by far the best and when he sang the ones that liam originally sang he made them different class

Ibiza or Amsterdam?

Amsterdam, Ibiza days are gone for me :(

pulp fiction or resovoir dogs?

hhhhhhhmmmmmm ;carlocitrone;

Ive never really had a favorite tbh and i cant think of any names, i'm just not that fussy when it comes to sexy girls getting their bits out on the box, it's all good :D


feel free to post reminders for me though!!

Top 3 sports?

Athletics is probably my favorite sport, ive never really thought about it but i just love the athletics, even with all the problems it's having i cant get enough of it, greyhound racing is probably second or third, not because i'm a punter but i could hapilly watch a top class greyhound card without having a bet, it works as a spectator sport for me, i'm loathed to say footbal because unless ive had a bet modern day football is too technical and boring.

Top 3 sports stars?

1)Isinbayava(the russian pole vault bird) she's blinding and no matter how much she keeps smashing it she just seems to love the sport more and more
2)Hatton, great value
3)T. Henry, the best player ive seen in the premiership, too cool in front of goal, i liked the way he conducted himself


Worst sport?

never got into cricket

easy one seen as how pulp fiction is the greatest film ever made and reservoir dogs is one of the most overrated of all time

FYP

Would you prefer to spend the day with the film director M. Night Shyamalan, or the night with snooker player Ryan Day?

Breast or thigh?

what activities would we be doing?

breast, i touched one once

Playing snooker with M. Night Shyamalan, or directing a film with Ryan Day...

Snooker match fixing inquiry - Guilty or not guilty?


Who is the father of Heavy Heva's baby?

seen as how Day cant play snooker or make films i'll say Shyamalan (i know you're welsh and good at snooker and know your sports stuff and are therefore probably his brother or something) ::)

Snooker match fixing inquiry - Guilty or not guilty?

100% they were at it but good luck to them, he wont get guilty, nothing will come of it, unless youve got the guy on tape admitting it all the rest is circumstantial, i love it when the bookmakers get turned over like that, it was just so silly how it happened though

Who is the father of Heavy Heva's baby?

slim simon?

If you went on Who want's to be a millionaire, which 5 blondes would you chose as your 'phone a friend' and why?

Bainn, Tarrant would shit himself

kinboshi, ive been on this forum nearly 4 years and he's never been wrong about anything

Barry Neville, seems to be up on international politics and immigration

Mantis, would be com trying to get an answer out of him in 30 seconds

Tikay, just to upstage tarrant

LMAO. Brilliant. So gutted i couldn't make it last week now. Have to meet up soon.

the mantis comment is class. I lol'd out loud

that, and the bary neville one too, still am chuckling.

24 or Lost

Jack Bauer or Jack Shephard

Kim or Kate

Wine gums or Fruit pastilles

Vegas or Anywhere

BOB and gl in your persuit of a t-shirt  

24 or Lost

never got into either, watched the first few episodes of the first series of lost but have never even watched one episode of 24

Jack Bauer or Jack Shephard

I have however learned that jack bauer is the greatest :D

Kim or Kate

kim

Wine gums or Fruit pastilles

fruit pastilles but strangely i just opened a packet of wine gums about 1/2 hour ago and destroyed them


Vegas or Anywhere

vegas obv

Your life is so toasty that you have 7 series of 24 to watch mbsfn,if you watch the 1st episode that'll be enough to take over your life for a while,dares you  ;D

+1 funny

Did you ever think your well would go this well?

Would you prefer this to go in BoB or be forever left open for random questions to be asked?

nh. But at least you know you'd be getting the correct answer. I mean, it may not necessarily tally with the one Tarrant's got, but it would still be right. Anyway, I'm sure a reasonable case could be made for all four options.

Did you ever think your well would go this well?

no, but when it comes to working out if a dog with a knife in it's mouth could kill two cats covered in barbed wire theres no one better(it's the cats)

Would you prefer this to go in BoB or be forever left open for random questions to be asked?

there will come a time when you'll have to work out for yourself if a Horse could trample to death a sedated Rhino(it couldnt)

Good thread Bolt, glad you agreed to do this edition of In The Well.

Where do you see yourself in 2, 5 and 12 years time?

Court, Jail, Parole hearing.

Obv

lol m8 i havent got a clue, i'm quite proud though at having gone through most of my life without having a clue what i'm doing

something in the region of what flushy said probably, 1 time parole result pls!! ;goodluck;

Are you psyched about the Dorian Grey film coming out?

The bird is, she's a big Oscar Wilde fan. Not read it myself but my book group is doing it for October so will have a read of it soon.

You win the lottery (call it 4mil) what do you do with the money?

sigh, i remember when the league of extraordinary gentlemen came out and he was like an action hero that went around with a sword dodging bullets and killing folk all over the gaff, it was so bad.

Ive seen the adverts and i'm reasonably sure it's not what oscar wilde had in mind, and thats alright because you'd want it to have a bit of the hollywood treatment but i think the idea of what he couldve been in the book has enchanted Hollywood over the years but theyve never got it right in carrying the character forward, i might be wrong but it looks like it might be terrible.

the book is great, not the best story in the world and dorian gray isnt the best character in it(lord henry) but it's a masterclass in how to write a novel, get it read, you'll love it :)up

I would give a lot of it away, then i'd go to vegas to play live cash with whats left, i'd sort myself out a solid foundation though, house car etc but i'd probs give 2.5mil away, spend 700k sorting myself then bop vegas.

I'd book all my friends and family into the dorchester for a few days as well.

Why would you give so much away?

Who would you give it to?

I'd give the lot to my dad if i could but he wouldnt take it, i'd give him and my uncle a mil each then i'd share out 500k between family and friends, my dad, uncle and i are so close i'd probably just split it 3 ways tbh, i'd rather take like 1.2 mil for myself then let them sort out the divvy up with the rest of the family(all my other aunts, uncles cousins nieces and nephews)

ah ok i thought u meant charities

Bolt, lets say for example I was treating the mrs to a pizza hut tonight, what would be your meal of choice?

now youve bumped the thread it will never get BoB ::)

tighty did say i could have a choice, this thread in BoB, a t-shirt or a new thread with a link to a betfair interview with gupreet nagi, i regret it now but i went with the last one, i never heard of the guy but i got excited at having options.

I'm very unadventurous when it comes to pizza hut, i like a deep pan Hawaiian, extra cheese no ham, the cheese and pizza are just so great any other crap on it spoils it for me.

I like the garlic bread supreme and chicken wings for starters, also get a salad bowl but what i do is just fill it up to the top with croutons(sp) and put some salad potatoes in(not for the potatoes cant stand them but the cream stuff the come in) mixes very well with the croutons and that does it for me.

I dont really have a desert because ive probably had 5 or 6 beers by then and cant be arsed but i remember they had the icecream factory when i was in school and you could refill it as many times as you wanted for a fixed price so i went in on my own so as not to arouse suspicion then my friends slowly filtered in and we just destroyed the ice cream factory, mustve had 10 servings, the manager came over and i'm telling him im the only one eating and these are just my guests and everyones covered in ice cream looking at him

Do you understand this question ?

do you understand this question?.....................................

A 'snooker' table (measuring 8 metres by 4m) with 4 'pockets' (measuring 0.5m and placed at diagonal slants in all 4 corners) contains 10 balls (each with a diameter of 0.25m) placed at the following coords:

2m,1m...(white ball)
...and red balls...
1m,5m... 2m,5m... 3m,5m
1m,6m... 2m,6m... 3m,6m
1m,7m... 2m,7m... 3m,7m


The white ball is then shot at a particular angle from 0 to 360 degrees (0 being north, and going clockwise).
Just to make it clear, a ball is 'potted' if at least half of the ball is in area of the 'pocket'

Assuming the balls travel indefinitely (i.e. no loss of energy via friction, air resistance or collisions), answer the following:

What exact angle/s should you choose to ensure that all the balls are potted the quickest?

They angle of the dangle

Sylvester Stallone or Arnold Schwarzenegger

Why isn't this well in BoB yet?

Schwarzenegger obv, predator is like the second greatest film of all time

sort them out for me please boldie, i'll bash tighty round the head with an encyclopedia and you crush his head with a dictionary when he's down

Live threads don't go into BoB. 

Same as t-shirts going to bolty.

bollox, it was dead for a week, promises were made ::)

So you're saying that; If someone bumps this thread every week it'll never go into BoB and Bolty will never get the recognition he deserves?


Ohno!

whoever posts next on this thread is gay

*posting on behalf of Derren Brown

Fave non-alcoholic drink?

Calpol
Mcdonalds milkshake
American cream soda

Never had an Oreo Shake at TinselTown then?

nah, i heard the food isnt that great there but the oreo milkshakes are the business yeah?

Spot on. Food ordinary at best, milkshakes are the stone colds. Open 24hrs too.

Sorry for being a pesant but who or what is BoB?

Great thread btw.

(http://www.exposay.com/celebrity-photos/bob-hoskins-2006-bfi-london-film-festival-hollywoodland-premiere-o9j60m.jpg)

BoB = Best of Blonde

It's a board on the forum where the best threads are moved to for future generations.

After six months they are put into a locked time capsule in Kew, and buried six feet down.

The words are transcribed into Sanskrit and Braille, just in case post-apocalypse a blind Sanskrit speaking alien should happen upon them.

But you have to wait 6 months for that.  Good luck finding a spare 6 months.   rotflmfao

Seeing as I've just messed up the wait again, maybe you can answer this one question - What other item would you like to include in the time capsule Tighty's mentioned and why?

I'll bet he says 'kinboshi'

i was going to say a bomb that goes off when you open it but a bomb strapped to kinboshi is of course the correct answer

bolt - t-shirt opportunity:

http://blondepoker.com/forum/index.php?topic=41800.540

This thread is epic.

FFS give the guy a t shirt.

[  ] OK

I'm scared if i ever got one i wouldnt know what to do with it

Wear it to the bash?

you could use it for mopping up after unfortunate accidents.

I dont care how wrecked i am I'll never spill a beer in my life, never have never will, sacrilege!!

Don't think she was referring to the beer.

oh yeah ive pissed myself plenty of times but who can be bothered cleaning that up, just gonna happen again the next day

Fair point.  Just make sure you're aiming down so you don't mess up the shirt.

;whistle;

Could 2 budgies kill a parrot?

lol. brain ache x2

probely best well ever imo   

where can I find information on emp bomb building?

Great thread, BoB imo

just thread through, pretty good read, keep up the good work

Bolt, if you could be a shrewdie for a day which one would you be and why?

Why is this thread on the wrong board? Get it moved mods.

chiprich obv,  2010 is gonna be his year!

What's happened to Benji and Linux?

update on their shrewdie status pls

Bolty for mod, then he can move the thread himself.

you want me to answer that?

(are you drunk this moning)?

Nah but now ur a mod move it to the shrewdies thread where I meant to post it pls. Thanks Bolt.

Has bolt started a pm campaign?

how did you guess?

A little gutted, I thought I was special.  :'(

This thread for BoB btw

Just wondering;

Just how cute a creature would you strangle to get your hands on a blonde T-shirt?

Kittens? Puppies? Those cute new tiny parrots they discovered whilst next to the vulcano?

those fake parrots that are really budgies? they were crap, i'd kill them anyway, i reckon i could swallow one of those whole.

puppies and kittens would be pretty low but i do really want the t-shirt, if it had my name sewn into it and stuff then yeah i'd probably drown a couple of kittens

qould you go as far as killing the Andrex puppy?..Bearing in mind that you would never be able to wipe your bottom in any sort of comfort again?

p.s. the T-shirt would have your name in glitter on it.

can i not just set fire to a couple of the duracell bunnies?

nah, too dangerous..them feckers burn forever. (not that I've tried obv)

Thread starterd going downhill from p16 onwards

yep, the well's run it's course, time to move it.

I think red dog's getting right on that

What is the reason for not putting it into BoB yet?

Can a mod confirm pls

cant go in BOB as he lied eary doors

just unforgivable that since that post he has gone onto to answer numerous questions

If this doesn't go in best of blonde, the whole damn thing is a farce.

if this doesn't get moved soon I'm going to boycott bob

in fact could we please have a star rating system for threads so I can avoid reading all the good ones, I'm going to stick to those ranked 3/5 and below in future

It can't be moved while it's still live

Let's hope it doesn't keep on getting bumped

I could start bumping all the threads in BoB and make them 'live' again which means they'll have to be moved back out.

Can you just leave it with us please?

Not a great deal of point in orchestrating PMs running into double figures to mods on one night. Sure was a great use of limited time for us. We get the point.

Thanks

ban bolt imo problem solved.

Obv this would go into BoB first though.

Does BoB stand for "Bust our Balls" ??

It stands for breathe out boys!

Chillll winstaaans

^that

bump just to be safe

anti - bump

sigh. tighty's gonna ban us all now you've bumped it

One more person bumps the thread this one gets it.................

(http://www.savingourpets.com/images/iStock_kitten.jpg)

(http://internationalrugbynews.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2008/10/mr-bump.jpg)

If the next post is a picture of a dead ginger kitten this has to go into best of blonde; it will no longer simply be a matter of popular opinion but a categorical imperative.

cats are only good for eating

(http://farm1.static.flickr.com/3/6159372_b3fb60b396.jpg?v=0)

turns out the cat was just having a nap ::)  


(http://www.mooseyscountrygarden.com/cats-dogs/ginger-cat-path.jpg)

No shirt for you

Shirt for bolt not sure if it'll fit  http://www.zazzle.co.uk/cat_killer_funny_dog_shirt-155113185974129048 (http://www.zazzle.co.uk/cat_killer_funny_dog_shirt-155113185974129048)

£23 for a little dog t-shirt!!!!!

how much for a blonde t-shirt with graham taylor's turnip shape head but Bainn's face printed on with the slogan: "DO I NOT LIKE CHIP DUMPING"!!

[  ] kitten
[  ] dead
[ x ] ginger

Good enough imo

I dead find an image of said dead kitten in ginger but for the sake of bolt's bob chances(and my posting privilege's) went for above image.

that one looks worse imo, not like i drowned it or fed it poisen or something humane but it looks like i swung it round the room and battered the shit out of it

|I kinda kneed an answerto this. if you cross reference with pms yo will see how important it is