Title: O/T its Christmas so cracker jokes are allowed Post by: suzanne on December 18, 2005, 02:52:33 AM > > After Quasimodo's death, the bishop of the
Cathedral of Notre Dame > > sent word through the streets of Paris that a new bell ringer was needed. > > > > The bishop decided that he would conduct the interviews personally > > and went up into the belfry to begin the screening process. > > > > After observing several applicants demonstrate their skills, he had > > decided to call it a day. > > Just then, an armless man approached him and announced that he > > wanted to apply for the bell ringer's job. > > > > The bishop was incredulous. "You have no arms!" > > > > "No matter," said the man. "Observe!" And he began striking the > > bells with his face, producing a beautiful melody on the carillon. > > > > The Bishop was astounded & cried out you are marvellous the jobs > > yours. > > > > But suddenly, rushing forward to strike a bell again the armless man > > tripped and plunged headlong out of the belfry window to his death > > in the street below. > > > > The stunned bishop rushed down to be at his side. > > > > When he reached the street, a crowd had gathered around the fallen > > figure, drawn by the beautiful music they had heard only moments > > before. > > > > As they silently parted to let the bishop through, one of them > > asked,...... "Bishop, who was this > > man?". > > > > I don't know his name," the bishop sadly replied, > > > > > > (scroll down) > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > "but his face rings a bell" > > > > WAIT! WAIT! There's more .. . . > > > > > > > > The following day, despite the sadness that weighed heavily on his > > heart due to the unfortunate death of the armless campanologist, the > > bishop continued his interviews for the bell ringer of Notre Dame. > > > > The first man to approach him said, > > "Your Excellency, I am the brother of the poor armless wretch that fell > > to his death from this very belfry yesterday. I pray that you honour > > his life by allowing me to replace him in this duty." > > > > The bishop agreed to give the man an audition, and, as the armlessman's > > brother stooped to pick up a mallet to strike the first bell, he > > groaned, clutched at his chest, twirled around, and died on the spot. > > > > Two monks, hearing the bishop's cries of grief at this second > > tragedy, rushed up the stairs to his side. > > > > "What has happened? Who is this man?" the first monk asked > > breathlessly. > > > > "I don't know his name," sighed the distraught bishop, but..." > > > > > > ( . . . Wait for it . . .. ) > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > ( . . . It's worth it, honest . . .) > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > He's a dead ringer for his brother. > > > > Boom, Boom......!!!! Title: Re: O/S its Christmas so cracker jokes are allowed Post by: sharpy on December 18, 2005, 02:59:57 AM I'm tired and I'm drunk but that made me chuckle :D :D :D :D anymore??? Title: Re: O/T its Christmas so cracker jokes are allowed Post by: suzanne on December 18, 2005, 03:02:57 AM HEHEHE someone in my frame of mind
Title: Re: O/T its Christmas so cracker jokes are allowed Post by: suzanne on December 18, 2005, 03:06:02 AM Ive got loads more but how to find em is a problem...hold on brb
Title: Re: O/T its Christmas so cracker jokes are allowed Post by: Robert HM on December 18, 2005, 03:09:23 AM My breathe is bated
Title: Re: O/T its Christmas so cracker jokes are allowed Post by: suzanne on December 18, 2005, 03:11:00 AM Ok my fave which will send you to bed chuckling
http://www.badtree.com/Stand_Up_Comedy.php?FN=Stephen_Lynch_-_Super_Hero.wmv http://www.badtree.com/Stand_Up_Comedy.php?FN=Stephen_Lynch_-_Why_Mommy_Left_Us.wmv Title: Re: O/T its Christmas so cracker jokes are allowed Post by: suzanne on December 18, 2005, 03:12:45 AM and i know the one for you Robert...just gotta find it
Title: Re: O/T its Christmas so cracker jokes are allowed Post by: Robert HM on December 18, 2005, 03:15:45 AM classics
Title: Re: O/T its Christmas so cracker jokes are allowed Post by: suzanne on December 18, 2005, 03:23:28 AM yep i have got to get this guys dvd he is ace
Title: Re: O/T its Christmas so cracker jokes are allowed Post by: sharpy on December 18, 2005, 03:24:26 AM That's it.. . .. I'm off to bed before I have an accident :D :D cheers suzanne Title: Re: O/T its Christmas so cracker jokes are allowed Post by: suzanne on December 18, 2005, 03:26:26 AM night sharpy :-*
Title: Re: O/T its Christmas so cracker jokes are allowed Post by: ifm on December 18, 2005, 11:07:13 AM The second half was brilliant!!
I just deleted Steven Lynch's DVD, very funny fella. |