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Community Forums => The Lounge => Topic started by: RioRodent on March 02, 2012, 07:21:31 PM



Title: New Golf Book
Post by: RioRodent on March 02, 2012, 07:21:31 PM
You may not know it, but I have been very busy over the last couple of year’s putting my thoughts and ideas together into a book. I am very proud of the results and, in order to market the publication, I am asking friends and family to assist.

The book is on golf and I believe it gives the reader valuable playing tips and insider information that I have gained through my years of experience.

The book is only £4.95 and can be ordered by simply replying to this email with the appropriate credit card info.


Highlights include:

Chapter 1 - How to Properly Line Up Your Fourth Putt

Chapter 2 - How to Hit a Maxfli from the Rough When You Just Hit a Titleist from the Tee

Chapter 3 - How to Avoid the Water When You Lie 8 in a Bunker

Chapter 4 - How to Get More Distance off the Shank

Chapter 5 - When to Give the Marshall the Finger

Chapter 6 - Using Your Shadow on the Greens to Maximize Earnings

Chapter 7 - When to Implement Handicap Management

Chapter 8 - Proper Excuses for Drinking Beer Before 9:00 a.m.

Chapter 9 - How to Find That Ball That Everyone Else Saw Go in the Water

Chapter 10- How to Relax When You Are Hitting Three off the Tee

Chapter 11- When to Suggest Major Swing Corrections to Your Opponent

Chapter 12- When to Re-grip Your Ball Retriever



The book also includes the latest GOLF TERMS



A Paris Hilton - an expensive hole

A Diegio Maradonna - a very nasty 5 footer

A Salman Rushdie - an impossible read

A Rio Ferdinand - Lipped out

A Rock Hudson - thought it was straight, but it wasn't

A Cuban - needs one more revolution

An Adolf Hitler - two shots in the bunker

A Yasser Arafat - ugly and in the sand

A Kate Winslett - a bit fat but otherwise perfect

A Kate Moss - bit thin

A Gerry Adams - playing a Provisional

A Rodney King - over-clubbed

An O. J. Simpson - got away with it

A Princess Grace - should have taken a driver

A Princess Di - shouldn't have taken a driver

A Ladyboy - looks like an easy hole but all is not what it seems

A condom - safe but didn't feel real good

A circus tent - a BIG top

An Anna Kournikova - looks great, but unlikely to get a result

A Vinnie Jones - nasty kick when you're not expecting it

A Ryanair - flies well but lands a long way from the target



Title: Re: New Golf Book
Post by: bobby1 on March 02, 2012, 07:25:33 PM
lol.

Can I suggest

A Paula Radcliffe, just runs forever.
A Sally Gunnell, an ugly little runner.


Title: Re: New Golf Book
Post by: sweet potata! on March 02, 2012, 07:28:52 PM
A Diegio Maradonna - a very nasty 5 footer


Should be Dennis Wise!


Title: Re: New Golf Book
Post by: leethefish on March 02, 2012, 07:30:15 PM
(http://www.sherv.net/cm/emo/laughing/hearty-laugh.gif) (http://www.sherv.net/hearty.laugh-emoticon-1336.html)


Title: Re: New Golf Book
Post by: marcro on March 02, 2012, 07:39:16 PM
Also for a putt that stops just short - A Cuban - one more revolution. 


Title: Re: New Golf Book
Post by: ManuelsMum on March 02, 2012, 08:11:30 PM
lol.

Can I suggest

A Paula Radcliffe, just runs forever, possible unexpected water hazard
A Sally Gunnell, an ugly little runner.
:D


Title: Re: New Golf Book
Post by: ACE2M on March 03, 2012, 09:30:46 AM
lol.

Can I suggest

A Paula Radcliffe, just runs forever.
A Sally Gunnell, an ugly little runner.

A Sally Gunnel, Ugly but a good runner.


Title: Re: New Golf Book
Post by: JK on March 03, 2012, 10:08:37 AM
Love it lol. Heard some of the phrases on the course, but the chapters one is just classic