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On my things to do list from my wife today is go to the Doctors. She has highlighted 2 things that need sorting out.

1. Snoring- Over the passed couple of years it has got worse and worse. It is that loud that she is having trouble getting to sleep before me and she claims that i often stop breathing for long periods (in before anyone says not long enough).

2. Taking a dump- Everytime i eat anything i need to go for a dump within about ten minutes and sometimes half way through a meal.  This has been the case for about 5 years since i returned from a visit ti a mate in the Gambia. Me being me i just assumed it was  a neat party trick.

Would anyone else be overly concerned?

Lol Herbie.  Ahrt

A finger in the bum will probably cure both of them.

Sounds like a staking thread is required!

Just go ffs and it's ridiculous not to go for any problem however embarrassing it may seem if it's causing concern.

Neither of those problems seem to be anything that I can see any reason to be wary of asking about anyway so I don't get it?

Waits for Flushy to announce 'rest'.

how does your snoring mean she is having trouble getting to sleep before you? do you snore whilst awake?

Yeah that's one of my concerns as well as the possibility of a video camera.
Will end up going coz the wife says I have to

Explained it a bit wrong. She likes to read a book in bed so if I fall asleep before her then the problems start. Tried going to bed an hour after her but I like to end the day with a bit of a cuddle so now I will watch skygo with my headphones on or do blonde whilst she spoons me

But not if you're eating in bed :)

Buy a bigger house with spare room and ensuite + incontinence pads.
Or just go to the docs you muppet.
:)

Your obv right. On it tomorrow.

I have the same problem with snoring, most nights i sleep downstairs and go up when shes solid asleep.

The other issue, if its going str8 through you the food runny u should see doc, might be the same thing that a certain man utd footballer got just milder version.

I'd only be concerned if you started doing both at the same time.

Yeah did not want to post about the runny but it is.  Seems so stupid leaving it for years but it never bothered me.

Get in and get it fixed Herbie!!

<3 the Herbie

It is hilarious that you are prepared to tell an entire community of your problem but not go and have a quiet chat with the doctor

Maybe this is just your way of forcing yourself to go, if so good, get gone!

Get Dingdell to rinse out your shitter.

then have a colonic...

Normally the doc will give anti-biotics or anti spasmodics (or both) to start then tell you to come back in a week/2 weeks if the symptoms have not improved. They are not normally too concerned unless you are seeing blood in your poo. Please be aware that the anti spasmodics are (obv) designed to stop the spasms you are having - but you do need the peristalsis movement in the bowel to move poo round the sytem and mix it all up to make proper poo - so ideally you don't want to be on these for too long.

The problem is that the anti spasmodics may stop you rushing to the loo but it doesn't tell you why it is happening so be insistent that you want to know why.

They may also ask for blood tests to check for infection - do ask specifically to be tested for Giardia as this is a common infection from travelling but is also passed along via animals.

If it does come to it and you need a colonoscopy it's unlikely that they will suggest that first off, they will normally try other means before booking you in for the camera. If you are really nervous about it ask for a mild sedation but, although it feels wierd, it doesn't really hurt. You just feel like your bowel is full of air.

Lastly, in my experience, the first diagnosis will often be IBS or food intolerances. Even if he does try to suggest this I recommend you push for the blood tests to check for infection. I have 6 doctors who refer their patients to me because they know they haven't got IBS, they need info and guidance and the doc hasn't got the time or resources to help the patient with the detail they need.

Once you've been to see the doc feel free to contact me if you need further info.  Can't help with the snoring though ;-)

Nice....sigh.

5 years and you've never don anything about the shitting thing?!?

And I thought I was scared of going to the docs!

Thanks for the advice all noted.

The problem has never bothered me in the slightest I have no pain and if it was not for the wife I would still just be carrying on as normal

For the poo stuff, do what Tracey says.

fr the snoring try this

(http://www.cimg.in/images/2010/05/18/36/5309539_20100517131_large.jpg)

My wife says it helps with my snoring

Also, with the snoring:

Do you find that you wake up feeling tired after what would seem to be ample sleep? if so, you should tell the doctor about the breaks in your breathing

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sleep_apnea

u knew it was coming.. might as well be me  :)

the longer i sleep the more tired i feel usually but from the recordings the wife has made i could well have sleep apnea.

It is a bit crazy that i cant or dont want to visit the doctor but am willing to share this with a public forum. might get my head tested while i'm there.

Jason get to the docs and sort it out!!

The sleep and snoring i can sort of help you out a bit ......

 I had/have problems with a sleep disorder i was a patient at the Leicester royal infirmary for about 18 months! at the sleep clinic.

two problems i had

a, snoring
b, tired all the time

i finished with the clinic last year after my snoring all but stoped and i was not as tired......after i lost the almost 2 stone whilst training for the 3 peaks last year.
coincidence ....
no the  doc told me right from the start lose weight and it will help

i also used/use nasal strips     

i dont snore half as much now....having lost some weight again!

 ;bump;

What did doc say ?

Appointment Friday 23rd. Told em it was not an emergency and this was the first available. Time

I have a snoring problem and I grind my teeth when I sleep at times

 Also about a month ago I woke up shouting from my dream. :s

did you shout all in?

Sounds like your fairly normal Jason
Snoring is down to weight or drinking
Put new food in 1 end old food comes out the other doesn't sound wrong to me I'm the same
And if it's not coming out quick enough ten pints of tetley gets it going pretty quickly

Fold more like

Or 2 4  21 neighbours

Just got back in. Very nice female doctor listened to my chest and took my blood pressure.

Gotta have some blood tests, heart monitor and a physical and return back for results April 4th.

In the mean time I have to keep a diary on everything, take a prescribe tablet (for IBS I think) and go through a load of sheets on snoring. All points to being old, unfit  and over weight to me.

On the bright side she says she will have to stick her hand up my bum next time. I do hope she meant just a finger :(

(https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-DkO0ztz1kfI/T2UZGIDEt5I/AAAAAAAAWsw/x__PmfPZN90/s640/040.JPG)

(http://media.comicvine.com/uploads/0/6955/805274-cockknocker1ll_super.jpg)

Lol

Prescient.

Personally, I think you should ignore the situation a bit longer. Most people are going along fine til they go to the doctor. Then he finds something wrong with them that they never knew they had and didn't bother them til he told them about it.

Yeah I like the above comment.  It's a bit like going to the dentist. The only time I seem to get any toothache is just after they have had a poke around in there.

Just been for an ECG scan which came back fine and clear. Am a bit suprised because my heart was racing. the nurse was quite fit and I could see her bra through a gap in the buttons when she lent over to cliometrics up.

Another thing I've noticed since I turned 40 is that I assume all women that are obv way out of my league must fancy me. Is this standard behaviour too.

Another thing I've noticed since I turned 40 is that I assume all women that are obv way out of my league must fancy me. Is this standard behaviour too.

Yup and the more ale you have the better looking you think you are lol

Lol. Just forgot to include I ain't taken any of the IBS tablets yet. Wife's getting a bit frustrated with me.

I'm definitely in the 'ignore it' camp.

Nobody ever dies until they actually go to hospital to find out if something's wrong.

if you happy with the squirts after you eat food then no need to worry :P

Just got in from the school run / playing at the park. Gotta remember some sunglasses tomorrow. Think some of the ugly mums have turned into milfs now the sun is shining.

 :D

(https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-DkO0ztz1kfI/T2UZGIDEt5I/AAAAAAAAWsw/x__PmfPZN90/s640/040.JPG)

Right so far ECG was fine and nothing wrong with the blood tests other than 1 of em showed a high level of something in my liver that may be something and nothing but they are gonna have another look.

As for the finger examination I never actually realised she had done it and was over in seconds. All seemed ok but she has given me some tablets for IBS from the first appointment. She seemed a bit upset that I had not started taking em so must do that.

I hate taking pills especially when I feel fine.

Return in 1 month

Don't tell your wife that you didn't notice the "finger examination", you don't want her coming up with the wrong idea lol

Her biggest pleasure would be watching me get the Marcelus Wallace Pulp Fiction treatment. :(

FYP

Lol you ain't wrong there

Careful - you'll be getting called Stefan Postma if you don't watch out  :o

Lol. Had to google him tho

RE: the snoring/stopping breathing, you 100% have sleep apnoea. Had to deal with it myself for a bit and the solutions (as I think mentioned) were either 1) lose chub if you need to or 2) wear this stupid air mask thing.

I seriously suggest going for option 1 if you can, the mask is horrible :(

Yes it is apnea although I gotta go for some tests.

Enjoy that! It basically all involves sleeping with a bunch of odd wires/devices dangling off you  ;)