blonde poker forum

ok the 2 word poker story has ran so successfully i have decided to go for the sequel the publishiers want a little less sex and violence in this story if you dont mind


ok i will start of the story


it was a nice sunny winters day when tikay left the wonderful british shore for his adventure on the laddies cruise, little was he to know that it was laddies and not ladies untill he arrived and saw kevin o'connell and mad marty wilson at the bar. He suddenly became

overwhelmed by an intense feeling of euphoria at the turn his life had took since retiring from his managing directorship. Now, the boat moored off the idyllic setting of Antigua he once again combed through his bleached blonde hair and pondered the forthcoming tournament, hoping he could avoid misreads. Yet

He felt as though something was holding him back. “well ill be” he said to himself, as he noticed it was his Nikon 67ZZ3, with high speed prolax reactor, with 16/32 shutter speed, with a delayed exposure, had somehow hooked it’s self to the railings of the ship. And with an almighty

display of intestinal fortitude, he managed to read the user manual for long enough to discover how to unclip the strap, and disentabgle himself. Filled anew with a sense of manly pride, he stopped screaming "help me!", and walked briskly to the "Calypso Lounge", to enjoy a steaming cup of PG Tips - yes he was enjoying the hgh life on this Saga Cruise, at last.

Things were soon to take a turn for the worse. He sat himself down in the comfiest chair in the Calypso lounge and motioned over one of the young waitresses to his table. She wiggled on over, and asked the lonesome Tikay "What'll it be big boy."

A tragic misunderstanding ensued,

Mean while the real poker player that managed to make it past the third hand of the evening were hard at work bluffing, checkraising, and trapping on the tables.

Tikay walks in thirty minutes late and showing off his best Phil hellmuth Jr impression whilst boasting his  Ks 2h always wins a big pot.

He won some chips then returned to the bar.

One author was somewhat disheartened to discover that another had elected not to finish the sentence the first one had started, but instead to ignore it completely and start one of his own. Not to mention he used too many words.

This of course only goes to prove that the standard of State education in Scotland leads much to be desired, as decades of under-investment prove. Never mind, the story continues apace. Back in England Red Dog sat staring at his laptop. Months had passed since his last result and he

often reminices about his boxing glory days when the tash was young and not so thick. NOw that he is a Tv star given some recent footage on channel 425, His show biz career looks to be taking flight with an offer from the younga and the wrestless on its way

He mournfully inspected his overgrown moustache. He was regretting his pledge not to trim his facial hair until he won his next tournament. Now as he looked in the mirror, he realised that he missed the sight of his own cheeky grin. Not that the mouth behind the bristling growth had smiled...

since the last time he sat on Mrs Red's knee and sang harmonies from The Carpenters. The next morning was a crucial one for Robert HM. He was defending the indefensible, but getting paid handsomely for doing so. In the dock sat Colchester Kev, pleading not guilty to  serious charges of

maliciously and nefariously eating vegetables. Vegetables which were in direct contravention of his uite long list of banned foodstuffs in the terms of his rehabilitation bail, as set out by the league of humane treatement of legumes. Head bowed, and a shamed look on his face Kev took inthe panorama of the courtroom,

Almost instantly he burst in to song, singing

 "On a warm summer's evenin' on a train bound for nowhere,
I met up with the gambler; we were both too tired to sleep.
So we took turns a starin' out the window at the darkness
'Til boredom overtook us, and he began to speak.

anyone care to edit from 92 words to 50?

 :kiss: rotflmfao

''OK OK I DID IT''  he screamed "I thought there was meat in there". Much to the discust of RobertHM who was charging a very fair amount per hour.

''Your honour'' said robert, please show mercy on my chubby little friend, otherwise there is absolutely no chance of.

oops sorry tank

him getting down to the casino after the trial to parlay his last remaining twenty quid into my fee."

"What!" boomed the judge, "You expect me to consider extenuating circumstances because the defendant has a gambling institute to visit."

"He's got an unbeatable system your honour, but only Kev himself

understands how to do it…Apparently you go and railbird poker players and they buy you drinks and meat pies and stuff. It’s a very low risk kind of business your honour. I once actually played the game but WOW I lost two pork pies in the first hand.
It was then that Tikay told me.

OK im outta here, i just see Kev signed in....Nighty night ;hide;

"About Pie Club" Kev said quietly, with the air of a man about to bestow a great secret.

"Apparently the first rule of Pie Club is that there is no Pie Club.

"I asked him what he meant, but he clobbered me with a Fray Bentos Chicken and Mushroom Pie."

Kev gulped, tears welling in his eyes and fear resounding through his voice.

"M'lud, it was out of date, and he hit me with it."

The Beak rose to his feet, his eyes incandecscent with fury, pointed a bony finger in the direction of the public gallery and roared...

...like a lion until his throat was sore then whispered "case dismissed" and ordered himself in contempt of court.

Kev rose up and shouted "I object your honour"

"Shush" said Robert then asked "what are you doing?"

"I always wanted to say that" kev replied.

then off they went to...

to the nearest pirate themed domino bar. Whilst there they ran in to MikkyT who was busy telling anyone that would listen how to play snap, whilst ensuring you get the right pot odds to collect the cards. Suddenly there was a breaking glass and wallop wallop wallop!!! Scottish Dave

 

staggered sideways into the bar. Undeterred by a collision with a one legged, eye-patched pirate barman, and the irrelevant posting above, he burst into a medley of unmelodious Celtic songs. Sadly, his serenading of all and sundry was cut short by newmanseye's latest bad beat story,

Undaunted by the lucky fish that out drew my pocket  2d 2c I soldier forward only to find Pocket  Ahrt Ac, My Hearts is pumping like a rabit in mating season, I re raise the fish named El-blondie half his stack The rest fold to El-blondie, He pushes all in ( whooooo hoooo ) , Time for the Hollywood, ....... ........ .......... ....... ........  I um well CALL!!!!

but alas....the blonde one is holding THE FULL BRIAN WILSON  4h 7h
 4h 7h 4h 7h 4h 7h 4h 7h

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, I was up against the true pre flop nuts and the bad beats continue, Now feeling dejected and abused like a read headed stepchild, I give up poker and become a buddist Monk to follow in the footsteps of andrew Black.

Meanwhile Elblondie is spending my family fortune on new curtains

In light of the various forms of the XX word poker story I decided this one needed a bump, Just to see if anyone is up to the challenge.

let the posting commence,