blonde poker forum

This is not about me or someone I know, just got in a debate about this with someone.

You are a middle aged man.

Your only child is 14 year old Girl in a local school.

She dates a young lad who is 16 for a while but they broke up, he is pestering her and spreading nasty rumors about her via social networks and friends. He is turning up at school and generally being a pest.

Daughter is getting very upset, down over it. You have warned off the lad a few times, talked to his parents yet he still hassles her.

Is it ok to rough him up if he knows it will stop him from hassling the daughter anymore?

Degree's of 'roughing up'

1) Giving him a slap.
2) Beating him up.
3) Kidnapping him, breaking his legs and visiting him in hospital, warning him again.


Any ok?

Anyone who would break his legs would not admit to it on a public forum.

I think violence is unacceptable.

I'd say no to all 3, i think a few correct choice words in his ear is enough to 'warn off' the majority of 16 year olds

So if the cops did not help, what would you do? I am a chicken and wouldn't have a clue.

I'm pitchin' boy, but you're not catchin'.

;)

This has not worked. nor the threat of hurting him..

The police don't seem bothered.

Yes Sir Got it....been up since 5am :) that's my excuse

None ok

If having words with him and family is having no effect take evidence to police get them to pay him a visit

In these types of situations the 14 yo should be encouraged to keep a journal of what contact is made and when and how, plus the responsible adult priniting out anything adverse on social media etc

Older brother is good in this spot.

Really horrible situation, not sure what you can do about it, although i really cannot see how violence is ever the answer here. Police/Journal seems like the best solution so far.

So pleased I have got 3 boys. This situation would be my worst nightmare if I had a daughter. I only have 3 little pricks to control when they get older instead of having to worry about a whole load of pricks from school chasing my daughter.

Talk to the kids father, explain whats going on, ask him to sort it and tell him that the problem is now on him to sort.

Edit : just seen you have talked to his parents. The dad gets a kicking now.

None of the above.

How big is the kid ?

Car park!

Ok ill be the first .....
I have two daughters 14 and 12
If this was my daughter I would honestly explore all other avenues first eg police talk to the patents and the kid involved if all else fails slap the 16 year olds dad and tell him to sort his kid out !!
Violence is sometimes the only way !

Work through the list until it stops.

Pay for 3 obv.

All hypothetical .

I wouldn't touch the kid as he's only 16 but if the parents won't teach the kid then you gotta educate the parents
Just for the record it would be last resort !!

None of the above. Can't be roughing up kids, how ever strong the urge.

My 12 year old daughter was being ambushed / harrassed briefly by a couple of mid-teen lads and I understand the desire to grab hold of them and teach them a lesson, but it can never end well.

Take it up with his school / college if he still has one, with the law every time there's a new instance of harrassment, and with the parents repeatedly.

also, 14 year old is learning a harsh but valuable lesson about dating dick heads.

I used to socialise with a group of guys who were perfect with this stuff!

From my experience, threats do nothing without action, however action can often be the worst thing to do as it can escalate (sometimes its the only route)!

Subtlety is the way it works! You need to scare him and get his mind ticking. Walk past him, slide a shotgun cartridge in his pocket, then have a friend (brutal looking) walk past and say "leave x alone"

I also like the embarrass them approach at 16! This could be as easy as getting him in a room alone with your daughter and let her tell him how he makes her feel!

If something like that doesn't work, break his legs obv!

Never involve the police, they won't care nor doing anything and it takes away your final option

Any violence to a minor is a very serious event and the repercussions can be very long lasting. I went through a similar event 3 years ago with my 14 yo daughter. Not going into details but it was a bit more serious than the op. I'm not joking when I say I wanted to kill the kid but my wife and daughter begged me not to do anything. Frustratingly I didn't do anything.

As chance would have it I came face to face with the kid at an organised local function. I approached him and all I said was "do you know my daughter?" And then told him he should thank her because if it wasn't for her he would be fucking dead now. He shit himself and told the security guards about me. They tried to butt in but I was quite insistent that they should fuck off and mind their own business. They walked away and left me to it.

Ultimately I'm glad I didn't do anything else but if he was an adult I don't think I'd be so accommodating.

Bobalike, that is perfect! It needs to be the fear of action

They will be all big and bolshy with their mates, but providing they are shitting themselves it's job done!

People at school used to think I was soft! I'm not soft I just don't like violence. I once caught the school bully on his own on a Saturday! This kid was genuinely hard, but it's funny how soft they get when faced with a kid with a metal bar and the whites of his eyes showing! 13 onwards was a breeze for me in school, and he never told a soul!

I'm not sure who to ring, but I would look to arrange a similar experience to this for him...

(http://i968.photobucket.com/albums/ae169/StuartHopkin/77757_v1.jpg)

Get your daughter to befriend him again, get him in a compromising situation, burst in and take videos and photos of him then blackmail him or just get it straight up on the tinters.

In minor situations like this it's prob a bad idea to tackle the kid directly, I mean you could make the whole situation worse. As far as I can see he dated the daughter at one time and now they've broken up he can't accept it. As a father I don't think it's a great example to deal with a teenage pest who spreads rumours with violence or even threats of violence. I would focus on my daughter rather than some random kid and I would teach my daughter to rise above his antics. It's important for her to learn to take situations like this in her stride and that losers like her ex only have the power to upset her if she lets them.

Obv if he touches her physically I would set him on fire.

Great answer, my daughter is 12 and as soon as I read the op I thought the same thing. 

My daughters are 13 & 9 and I'm dreading the whole boyfriend thing...however i do have the advantage of  being built like a brickshit house and having an aura of  i may go super mental at the drop of a hat..

GG future boyfriends :)

It's a difficult situation !

A situation arose a few moths ago ...

My 12 year old had a 14 year old boyfriend (now split up thank god!!)
She was being very cheeky in front of him to me & mrs fish so she got grounded!

A few days later she didn't come home from school and was walking the streets with him ...because I grounded her she needed to see him !!

We found her obviously frantic with worry etc cut a long story short I told him and his dad if he was a few years older he would of got a right hiding from me .......his dad agreed !!

read most (although I admit not every word of every post) but the same theme arises.....slapping the lad around to some sort of degree, or going to the police etc.

Nobody from what I can see has said to chat with your very confused scared little girl?!!?! Reassure her, nothing to get down about, or upset about to get on my her life and move on from him and his immature ways.

My chat would be along the lines of....he's an idiot, look what've "escaped" ignore him and he'll get bored.  Life is about dealing with not nice things, and the worst you can do is get down over something that you can't control, as it's nothing you're doing or saying that is the issue.

Be with your mates, people that love you and want to be with you.  It'll blow over once he knows he isn't getting any attention.

(At the same time I'd be logging the social media stuff)  Police would be pretty powerless as he isn't doing anything wrong as such- - just a nuisance. Being an idiot/nuisance isn't (yet) a crime!

On the basis of that Waz I'd like to add with my situation my wife is a counsellor who specialises with young people. She obviously said the right things to our daughter.

OMG - I wasn't meaning to cause any offence or indeed say that your scenario wasn't dealt with as best as you seemed fit  -( I've just read your post - didn't see it first time around) just all/most of the posts thus far stated slap him...

apologies bobalike

No offence taken Waz. After reading your post I thought I'd let folk no that the wife deals with shit like this and worse everyday of the week.

 :)up

Good advice Waz, I saw this story a few months ago and it got me thinking about a blonde members son who was being bullied on here a few years ago and how it can spiral out of control if something isnt done quickly enough

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2216543/Amanda-Todd-Canadian-teen-kills-desperate-video-plea-begging-bullies-stop.html#axzz2Ki5x64Hc (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2216543/Amanda-Todd-Canadian-teen-kills-desperate-video-plea-begging-bullies-stop.html#axzz2Ki5x64Hc)

I believe option 3 was chosen and worked out fine for the mythical event.