blonde poker forum

Hello everybody.

It's been a while since I put up a staking thread but finally Steak Pie is back in force for what I think is it's 4th incarnation. Previous ventures have yielded a few small profits, a couple of sweats and a bit of fun but unfortunately never a huge bink. Maybe this will be the one.

I think everybody on here knows me well enough to not require details other than to let you know the comp I'm playing.

It's this little fella in Marbella: http://www.gsoplive.com/events/marbella/

I head over there on Tuesday just as Goulden, Deadman, several other good players and Mitch are heading back to the UK to play the Monte Carlo at DTD.

Hopefully this will leave a bunch of fish there to play against. Just in case it doesn't I'm taking my own in the form of a Hopkin and a Giblin so we should be fine.

Buy in is €1100. At the x-rate I got that works out at £958 or thereabouts.

In order to keep the numbers simple I'm going to call it £1000. This equates to a mark up of about 1.04 which will be spent on either alcohol, strippers or a combination of the two.

I have to be clear that this mark up isn't justified in any way whatsoever. I have no idea what my return rate is in this comp. I'm going to guess that most of the time it's sweet FA but you never know what could happen if everything goes in my favour.

The potential down sides of this investment:

There is a risk that I may decide not to play. When I get to Spain I may realise that it's much more life EV to sit by a pool with a cocktail in the sun that sit in a poker room for up to 4 days. This is not primarily a poker trip for me. I like drinking, I like sunshine, I like fit women. If a combination of these 3 appears to be available then the whole thing gets cancelled and you all get your money back. Actually I'll spend your money on lager and women and you'll get some new money back when I return. You'll get a full report on where your money goes though so it may work out better than if I play.

I may get drunk before, during or after each day of poker. How drunk I may get is a complete unknown. It might not even happen but it's only fair that you're aware it could before you part with any cash. I've got my own money up there as well though so whatever happens I'll be playing to win.

I know there's a lot of nosey people out there who like to know why people are selling so I'll let you know. The sole reason for selling is that I'm probably going to lose and I'd rather lose £500 than a bag. Let's be honest that's the reason everybody sells anyway they just don't admit it. If I thought I was going to win I wouldn't sell. Let's face it that would just be stupid of me.

I'll be playing regardless of selling out or not so there's no worries there.

Selling up to 50% at £10 per 1%

10% has already gone to a regular investor which leaves 40% up for grabs

I'd much rather have lot's of small investors than a couple of bigger ones for the potential fun factor if I have a run at it but I won't put any restrictions on either way.

Payment must be bank tx only. I won't accept stars money because I'll just spunk it up the wall. If I know you well enough then cash when I next see you will work as well.

Flame away... Go on I dare you..... See where it gets you!!

The team:

Tikay 7.5% - PAID £75  rotflmfao
Eck 5% - PAID £50  rotflmfao
Hopkin 5% - Sorting off thread
Bobalike 5% - PAID £50  rotflmfao
Booder 0.5% - PAID £5  rotflmfao
Ralph 5% - Owes £50
Giblin 5% - Paying cash on Tuesday
Nirvana 5% - PAID £50  rotflmfao
Fraser 7.5% - PAID £75  rotflmfao
Ray 2.5% - PAID £25  rotflmfao
Titbeam 1% - Pie special freeroll
Lee the Fish 2% - PAID £20  rotflmfao

TL:DR

5% please

5% please!

Cant believe you bottled the restrictions.....

Got scared. Thought I might not sell any!!

5% please Matt bank or next time at DTD. Up to you mate.

0.5 % pls

Best staking proposal ever.

"....lets be honest, that's the reason everyone sells anyway......."

Haha good luck.!

Before I decide - any chance of knowing how soft the field is ?

Ooh yes. And will it have loads of satellite qualifiers?

Excellent question re qualifiers, last point - your approx rating of whether you're top 10-15% most talented in the field ?

It's going to be one of the softest tournaments of the year full of Spanish whales and terrabad spaztard donks.

It's got to be one of the best value comps you'll ever see hence why I feel selling at spot is almost justifiable.

what were the restrictions?!

5% or rest whichever is the lesser.

5% if any left mate.

lolol

Of course it will. Most of them will be French, Italian or Spanish as well. This means none of them will ever have played poker before the sat they won so they'll be spazabad spewlags making this easily the best value comp you'll see this year.

I wasn't going to allow anyone who'd ever sold at a mark up to join the team.

lol

I possess skillz that 85-90% of the field could only ever dream of.

Excellent, I'm in, 5% pls

Booked

Booked

Booked

booked

5% booked

Booked

Booked.

You weren't asking about poker skillz were you?

9.5% left I think.

Go on Goulden you know you want to........

Ill take it Matt

make it 10% for easy maths please

Actually they were going to be allowed but they had to match the highest rate they'd previously charged to get in.

Greedy buggers!! ;)

I have a calculator so it won't be a problem.

Just worked it out:

£1 x 9.5 x 100 = £95

If someone else could confirm my workings I think we're good to go.

No idea how we'll work it out if I win anything but I can't see that being anything we need to concern ourselves with.

sell 50.5 % and give me 10 please sir   :)

No

Errr Gosh  ok

Strictness ITT ;)

Will there be a trip report pictures of strippers?

Whatever Works Im good 

Right then. Now that I've put Fraser in his place and showed who's the boss off this thread I'll get some PMs out to everyone with bank details.

You have until Tuesday morning to get the cash to my bank please as I might not be able to check once I leave the UK.

It's not that I won't have my laptop it's just that I'll commence drinking as soon as I get to the airport and won't stop until I pass out.

I'll keep track of all alcoholic and stripper adventures on here so that you can see what a great value package you've bought in to.

Despite the field being full of spazlagdagocockspews and my obvious amazing poker skillz I still believe that with the correct mix of alcohol I should be able to get your investment down to it's true purchase price of 1.04

GL team.

Race hate itt

One clarification I should make. When we win all the money I'll be paying everyone out their % based on whatever sterling I end up with when I transfer it back. I don't care what the rate is today, you get whatever I get.

If I get paid cash you can have the €€€€ if you prefer as long as I don't accidentally spend them all on strippers and blow.

If I have an accident I'd like to thank you in advance for the loan and promise to pay you back as soon as I've earned it.

Too right!!

LOL payoutaments...

Heh nice thread, go buddy

We won't need to worry about that mate.

I'll try mate. There's one I need to try to catch up with while I'm out there. She doesn't mind striking a pose for the boys.

Brilliant  :D

Good luck with the strippers!

:(

Tiny sweat plz ?

PM received. Really useful.

Have you ever had anyone reverse a half penny grimming?

You can have a bit of mine Ray. This has all been a terrible mistake, and I am trying to green out if I can find someone daft enough.

I need permission fom the OP though.

PS - what rate can we agree?

2.5% plz

More than happy with whatever you want to do.

As long as I don't go over 50% (Fraser tried that, look where it got him) I'm all good.

Just let me know the % and I'll amend the OP.

Tikay I'd recommend that you charge a minimum of 1.4 due to my general amazingness.

Cock off jizz wart!!

I fking love evilpie.


Wish I'd been here to take a piece.

Will happily buy 1% off of someone at 1.5, pm me ta.

OP updated with 2.5% for Ray and 7.5% for Tikay

Titbeam has 1% for fuck all (it's true worth) because I fucking love him.

omg yes.


WHAT'S 1% OF NAFF ALL?



more money than I have is the obv answer ROFL



cant wait for the trip report.

million it's longer than this post.

Brilliant, Ray got his bluff called.

Can't believe you got away with £25. You run good!!

LOL, true dat.

Got bank details so will ship over weekend.

incred thread is incred

If anyone would free up any I would love 1-2 % for the fun factor
If not good luck anyways mate.....and more to the point have a great time !

lolz, there's some gold itt, looking forward to the strip report.

This

Ill free up 4.5%  ( or whatever) for Lee and Titty  etc  if it helps , but let me know quick though before Adolf deploys The Gestapo .

Awesome thread :)

Glglgl Matt.

Two % please Fraser ....
Let me know if I gotta pay you or mr evilman

Thanks mate

OP updated.

Fraser (shrewd) now has only 7.5% and Lee (mug) has 2%.

I'll leave this open to changes until midnight tonight.

Anybody who wants to transfer some of their liability to another punt monkey is more than welcome. Just agree it between yourselves before midnight and post it on the thread so I can update the OP.

The more people who're involved the better. This is potentially the worst value stake of the year and the more people I get to laugh at for investing the better.

I have 7.5% of this incredible value stake.

I don't want to release anyway, but as a gesture to fellow blondes, I am prepared to sell a small portion of my stake.

So, bids accepted for 7.49%. I'll sell at face value if I like you. If I don't like you, you get a 10% discount to spot, so 0.9%.

Great news for stakers!!

http://www.worldweatheronline.com/v2/weather.aspx?q=Marbella,%20Spain

Lot's of sunny days means I've already hit one of the criteria for copping out of this and you getting your money back!!

Unless for some reason the bar at the hotel doesn't serve alcohol we're 2/3 of the way there!!

Obviously the fit women bit could be tricky but thanks to all of your generous donations I should be able to buy one for at least until the end of late reg.

Good luck everyone. We can all but hope.

I'm willing to free up all or even double my allotted 5% @ a mark-up of 1.5.

If Carlsberg did staking threads this would be it, glgl Mr Pie.

GAZUMPER itt.

Send bank details mate .....
Or I can i owe you a score ?

Cancel that just seen pm will sort later
Glglgl

Shippppppeeeedddd

Received from Bobalike and Fraser. OP updated.

Thanks gents, the strippers of Puerto Banus are eagerly awaiting your contributions.

sent 20 of the queens english pounds

I'll be sure to spend it wisely mate.

(http://www.hot1005.com/upload/Jock%20Pages/Corey/lap-dance-demotivational-poster-1244822946.jpg)

PAID by Bank TX.

The money has been literally trickling in since this sold out.

Just Giblin, Hopkin and Ralph left to pay.

Bunch of grimming f**kers!!!

Flying out there tomorrow to get started on the preparation for this 4 day long grind. I think I'll start with a few in the airport and see how it goes from there.

Good luck us!!!

gooood ruck with the stripppassssss

Looking good for you guys.

The 2pm start is full which only leaves the 9pm 2nd tier.

Chances of me being sober enough to play by then is pretty much zero.

In other news I've been flipping really well so haven't had to pay for any of my 9 coronas up to now.

[ ] Cracking updates.

Hope you're doing some grinding followed by some winning.

Lol. Heard some stories from another source about our hero's bender...Don't expect a lengthy TR anytime soon...

Still on it? Brilliant!

Tough few days mate. You'd have been proud!!

So as confidently predicted this poker farce never happened.

I actually got closer than expected when I found myself in the queue with €1100 ready to buy in.

The 2pm start was full as was the 9pm 2nd tier start so it was alternates list only. Looked very likely that we'd all get in though so the dream was still alive.

The rest of the day gets a little bit hazy........

Headed in to the port for a few beers and some food. 15 bottles of coronita and a couple of bombay sapphires later and I really didn't fancy settling down for poker. Back to the room for a quick shower, wished Neil and Maria good luck in the poker and then headed back in to town with Hopkin.

The highlight of the rest of the evening was a delightful round of a coronita with a gin and tonic chaser, a belvedere chaser chaser, a shot of sambuca chaser chaser chaser and a shot of gin because we accused the barmaids of giving us watered down Bombay Sapphire. It sure was watered down!!!

As I said it was all a bit hazy but when I got up the next morning I had €30 left of our buy in money. I can only assume that I had a good night so I'd like to thank you all for you donations. I couldn't have done it without you.

If you could all funk for Trigg in the Monte Carlo it would be very useful.

I've had a little piece of him and I need minimum of 4th to get me out of my little hole.

Basically he's your best chance of seeing your money returned any time before pay day so you best get your funk on.

You are my new hero Matt. Well, until Trigg pays :)

Best TR I've read, and only disappointment is that I wasn't part of it ;D

Good man glad you didn't let me down and do something stupid like play poker wpwp.

Not so much as a turbo side event mate.

Hopefully you'll let the 6 card hi lo flips at the pool bar slip through.

I sold on @ 1.5 so expect similar reimbursment unless photo evidence of the three day bender is upcoming.

waiting for rebates ldo

Seems perfectly fair mate....... Unfortunately I'm not big in to taking photos so the evidence might not flow too well.

Day 1 tourney report updated......

I've found a couple of photos from day 1 to hopefully save myself having to send Ralph back the money that he never sent in the first place at a very generous mark up of 1.5

As already stated we had a few beers in the afternoon after finding out we couldn't play poker until 9pm.

Me, Stu, Maria and Neil headed to the pool bar for a cheeky few. Had about 4 coronitas and then Maria decided to go for a kip to prove that she's a girl.

Me, Stu and Neil headed in to the port and found a delightful bar with a stunning barmaid so had a few more. Neil then decides that as a poker professional he really should play the comp so had to leave us early so that he'd be capable. He lost the drinks flip (this got to be pretty standard) so coughed up €40 to cover it and made a sharp exit.

This turned out to be an excellent swerve by Neil as the evidence below shows:

(http://i576.photobucket.com/albums/ss205/evilpie1/20130417_171022_zpsc32f5ffc.jpg) (http://s576.photobucket.com/user/evilpie1/media/20130417_171022_zpsc32f5ffc.jpg.html)

You'll notice that not only has he under paid but also maximised his flip equity by having 2 oranges and a glass of wine giving himself an 18/14/14 edge. This was the first flip and obviously karma bit him hard as he paid for pretty much everything after this one.

The only other day 1 photo is the heroic Mr Hopkin and the lovely coronita + gin and tonic chaser + belvedere chaser chaser.

There was also a sambuca and an additional shot of gin (not in photo).

(http://i576.photobucket.com/albums/ss205/evilpie1/20130417_234912_zpsac8f589c.jpg) (http://s576.photobucket.com/user/evilpie1/media/20130417_234912_zpsac8f589c.jpg.html)

I think this was at around midnight but it's all very vague. I'm pretty sure I lost the €250 flip in this place. I must have done seeing as Stu only spent a total of €60 all night.

The rest of the night is a complete blank unfortunately. I have vague memories of talking to lots of young hot ladies all of whom were interested in getting their hands on our buy in money........

Fair doos, I'll let you off the balance.

Chaser chasers ftw.

Day 2 report.

Started day 2 at around 1pm when I finally managed to wake up and headed down to the pool bar to meet the guys for a few liveners.

We tried to piece together what had happened the previous night but there was nothing there at all. Pretty sure that Stu left first but couldn't be 100%

The one thing I was certain of was that out of the €2500 I came with there was only €1230 left. €1200 of this were nice clean crisp notes that I had bought with me. €30 was screwed up dirty notes that were the remnants of the previous night. A little bit of maths later and I suddenly have a mission to figure out where the other €1270 went.

Now normally I could justify this spend without too many problems. There's been many lap dance club incidents in my happy life that would easily explain this amount of money away. Unfortunately I was 100% certain that I hadn't had a single lap dance so it had all gone elsewhere.

Now for anyone who's been to puerto banus you'll know that there are a lot of reasonable looking young ladies who frequent the bars on their own.

Without being too presumptuous one way to describe them would be 'hooker'.

Again though I know 100% that I didn't utilise this excellent service so that's another possibility out of the window.

Throughout the night I met various people out in the town who filled me in with various details of what happened. One young lady, the delightful barmaid Jenny helped explain away some of it. Apparently I was on my own (no Stu) in a bar accompanied by 3 or 4 young ladies. I don't believe that these were the aforementioned 'hookers' as there's no way I'd have escaped with the €30 if they were.

The bill apparently came to around €400 so that explains some of it.

Here's the lovely petrified Jenny being bear hugged by a despicable pervert:

(http://i576.photobucket.com/albums/ss205/evilpie1/Jenny_zps619da096.jpg) (http://s576.photobucket.com/user/evilpie1/media/Jenny_zps619da096.jpg.html)

I haven't staked anyone on here yet but you are gonna be the first if I am quick enough next time.

Sounds like my WPT Dublin national earlier in year. Fuck the poker.

Now what happened to the rest of the staking money will have to remain a mystery so the tourney report will have to finish there.

The plan was to continually update with pictures as I went on but I'm afraid I'm just not a big picture taker. The idea of photographing every single alcoholic beverage had been considered but alas never happened.

I was also planning on updating in real time but I couldn't get the wifi to work and had better things to do anyway in all honesty.

I'll leave this thread with one more picture of the delightful barmaids from the place we spent a good deal of our time.

Taken by Neil as he insisted that I have at least a couple of photos (he took the Jenny one) for the thread.

This is Hayley on the left and Debbie on the right. Would you believe that one of our team scored Debbie a 6!!! I won't say which of the 4 of us it was but I think she was wrong.

(http://i576.photobucket.com/albums/ss205/evilpie1/Barmaids_zps0c49f71c.jpg) (http://s576.photobucket.com/user/evilpie1/media/Barmaids_zps0c49f71c.jpg.html)

Debbie was largely responsible for the missing elements of my memory on Wednesday night. An excellent barmaid who will let you mix literally any amount of alcohol and to hell with the consequences.

Hayley will be largely responsible for being the girl I'm actually thinking of next time I have to keep my eyes closed following a 'beer goggles' accident.

Hope everybody's enjoyed the thread. Next time I'm definitely going to put more effort in to the report so hopefully I'll always provide good value for the stakers.

Can't wait for the next one

#love the game

(http://i277.photobucket.com/albums/kk69/AntichristTrianglist/Applauding.gif)

 ;tightend; ;tightend; ;tightend; ;tightend; ;tightend; ;tightend; ;tightend; ;tightend; ;tightend; ;tightend; ;tightend; ;tightend;

excellent use of the sausage as a breakwater

9/10

Utter genius.....some justice Trigg scored. 10% next time pleae.

Ledge

Giving the girl on the right a 6 is very wrong. I would tell the judge to put her saucer of milk down and look again.

6 was deffo a bit harsh to be fair.  Reckon she's more like a 7.

BoB

lol^

nice tr matt :D

which utter gay gave her a 6. NAME AND SHAME.

also TL;DR

It's because you didn't read that you can't suss out the guilty party.   :D

ha I did aswell but i'm so not awake I didn't twig. So it's either bopkin or maria...... hmmmm

There's a clue there.  Unless you know something about Stu the rest of us haven't heard yet?  I suppose it's possible. 

yes, that was the attempted humour.


whooooooooooosh

Sigh.  Can't believe I missed it.  wp wp

Payment received.

Bit of an anti-climax really, I had assumed there would at least be a partial grim.

There's still time for a picture of me with a huge comedy winners cheque.......

some lies are just never getting thru........................