blonde poker forum

Hello everyone, just a quick one to let you know that im not deserting my post lol.... Ironside all i can say is GET A PASSPORT!! the women out here wear hardly any clothes  :o :o

I will post a lengthy report later not just about poker , but about all the other stuff going on here ;)  im off to the palms now with grumpy bollox ...chubbs is staying in bed cos we overdid the Jack Daniels last night...allthough i refuse to admit that it is possible to overdo JD.

See ya soon
Kev.

Hello mate, hope your behaving.
Good luck tonight and i look forward to reading your reports,
Ian

This we MUST read. Come on Kev, fill us in.

Details kev details. Apparantley john wasnt happy with winning the bellagio event so off they all trotted to the palms where he precided to chop the event there with his life partner chubbs!! Anyone who is travelling out this week who would see fit to take a big box of tetley teabags (round not posh drawstrings or anything) over with them will get a huge drink from john- poor lads desperate for a brew and forgot teabags. I know some forumite will be going in next day or 2 so come on guys help "the daddy" (sorry tikay your the grandfather) of the forum out. Anyone willing to take these with them please email me and I will get him to meet you somewhere out there.

Will they never leave me alone.....?

But John & Chubby chopping a comp - the Yanks have never seen such a duo!

Get all the gosip Kev,
Chubbs in bed OD on JD Nice
About those clothes how much exactly? where you guys staying?
Are you gonna play the blonde tourn on thurs ? it would be good to see you there!

If John aint got any T by next thurs i will oblige.

Greetings from a bedroom on the 17th floor of the Orleans hotel, we have just got back from Palms casino where john played the $200 (1 rebuy) comp and AGAIN made a final table appearance...eventually going out in 8th when with a relatively small stack his Ace 10 ran into KK and flop brought an ace and a king so team Burnley exit with another visit to the cashier to collect a bit of american folding :)

Now to the interesting stuff lol....... No Names will be mentioned in this thread as i am a firm believer in the old addage "what happens on tour stays on tour ;) (although i am open to bribery !!!

Firstly, it is hard to explain just how amazing this place is, I could describe in great detail all aspects of Vegas ExCEPT the sheer bloody size of the place, awesome, just awesome ..but what is probably of more interest to you lot is the fact that I have undertaken , at great personal risk to my health, and purely as research for future Blondite visitors to this heavenly place, a survey of all the cocktail waitresses,together with a detailed description of what they are (or in most cases NOT) wearing .....I hope to take pics, but wont be able to post them til i gt home as i dont have my card reader here.
Starting with the Orleans, the girls here wear a sort of leotard effort which is a velvetty type of material...(well it felt like velvet to me ;)) which leaves very little to the imagination....NICE ...7/10
Next comes the Bellagio...where the girls wear cheerleader type outfits, and although the skirts are short, i cant help feeling that the jumper type tops they wear detract from what could be quite appealing, nice looking girls though 6/10
,The Rio, which is staging the WSOP has its girls dressed in typically short flimsy attire which seems to be worn back to front as you can clearly see their knicers aqt the front but the bum is covered..and i dont say that like it is a bad thing,generally very sexy ladies and they geta 7/10
finally (for now) The Palms ...absolutely stunning, the girls are stunning, and the uniform :o it consists of knee high pvc very very shiny boots and a skirt made fron pvc that is so short its almost obscene (again, please dont assume that i say thast like its a bad thing ) and a corset type bodice MMmmmmm9/10

I will continue my quest (purely for research purposes later in the week)

I am meeting some fantastic people over here, Ysterday i saw Chris "jesus" Ferguson..phil ivey..and negreanu.
all the hendon mob, devilfish,Simon Trumper, roy the boy brindley, padraig parkinson and jesse may, dave colclough, mickey wernick, he arrived today at 5pm and was sat at a poker table by 7pm..now thats dedication and devotion to the sport. richard gryko. paul maxfield and john law (what a smashing fella)..in fact the only dipsticks i have seen are the young yanks who have been to the Helmuth school of poker , having a big tantrum when they go all in and get outdrawn .. tossers !!

I woul do the lap dancing review, but i am so tired im gonna have to go....so please accept my apologies for the spelling and punctuation etc  but rest assured report will be forthcoming .

Take care all
Kev

Kev, glad to see your ok, was beginning to worry. I didnt realise just how tough life was out there, but you seem to be making the best of it (not one to complain our Kev)

We miss your sparkling wit and repartee on the fourm, you will be glad to hear that we have had a flood  of new members signing up since youve been gone

Try to soldier on as best you can under those conditions, post often, keep yourself pure, and change your underwear every three days, weather you need to or not.

Remember, if your not in bed by 1am...go back to your hotel

Look forward to hearing from you soon

Your jealous mate

RED

 

,,,,A bit different to the cocktail waitresses at Binions who were all at least 65 ;D

(I know what you mean about the Orleans though, very nice!)

Why is life so unfair, Im not flying out till tomorrow. :D
Suppose ill have to grin an bear it for another 24hrs though.

What I noticed last year ,was there seems to be a lot of single girls out there, hanging around the bars
just waiting to talk to someone.Ahh
Well I bet it beats listening to the WORMS badbeat stories.
.

Good luck out there chaps

If you want a good cup of tea, go to Excalibur (sherwood cafe)   i had a marvellous cup of tea there

Mel

do they sell tea here ? Burnley john is gagging for a good brew... personally i think it would be rude to drink tea out here because of the abundance of gorgeous women wanting to bring me Jack daniels :)

Red Dog, I am trying my best to cope, but i am a bit depressed today, we were watching a bit of the yanks coverage of wimbledon today, and it looked sunny...we all wanted it to be cold and raining while we are ssuffering 100 degree heat ;)

saw vicky coren and neil channing today the brit contingent is ever growing, cant wait til more of the blondites get here.

Tomorrows plans are to watch John and Simon and all in the 2500 no limit game ....hopefully i wont be able to watch the proffessional boxing that is on in our hotel because the lads will still be in the comp, but if not thats the plan...well you cant go to the titty bar every night can you ...that would just be greedy :)

Best wishes from Vegas
Kev.
ps. are all these new members jocks ? surely every sweaty with enough brains to use a pc has registered by now ;)

just another quick ps ..... if any of you guys are coming over and want to meet up, come to the poker room at the palms for the 7pm tourneys i will be there sweating john, simon and rob ..its on every night and we are usually there, i will be the fat bloke with a wonky eye and cropped hair with the penalty spot at the back , i will be also be easily recognised by the fact that i will be drinking JD or eating a large ben and jerrys ice cream, or more probably both :) 

I thought they did a Jack Daniels Ice Cream.

Or was that just another of those brilliant ideas i have just before it's released to the general public.

Yogi

what would work is a Jack daniels ice cream, served in a cup covered in pictures of the waitresses at the palms ....hmmmmm  whats the number for the patents office ;)

I played in a $100 freezeout at the palms tonight, busted out 22nd, button raised my big blind so i pushed all in with AJ suited, he counted his chips and if he calls me it leaves him with 400 chips..blinds were 200 400, he dwells up then announces "I WILL STILL HAVE CHIPS IF I CALL...SO I WILL"  then procedes to turn over Q7 off  :-\, needless to say he hits a 7 and i wish everybody good luck and make a dignified exit from the table ...it isnt hard to walk away with a bit of dignity and good manners, even though you are really pissed off inside...SO WHY CANT EVERYONE !!!!  I cant stand the whingers and table bangers, ok so you might get a bad beat or get outdrawn, but why cant these tossers just remember the times when they have outdrawn or inflicted a bad beat on someone else....i wish it would stop. 

Anyway during the comp, i was left rather red faced when i was awoken from my daydream by the female dealer saying to me ...."sir its on you, or would you rather we all wait until the waitress is completely through the doors and out of view"  this lead to much laughter and debate on the waitresses , and i have been given a few tips by some of the guys on my table , as to which casino's to go to in order to extend my research into the "uniforms of the cocktail waitresses" book. :)

 

Rlmao. Keep em coming Kev.

Bad luck in the comp Kev,

With your Rail bird reports and Robs inside head reports we can almost be there.
PS its now Pissing it down Fri so sont worry
See you next week

Great stuff Kev, especially the sermon on diignified exits. It hurts all of us the same to take a bad exit, but it still amazes me that some grown men appear to have the maturity of 3 year olds & start mouthing off after they bust out.

Your reports are, in a different way, every bit as enthralling a read as Rob's. Rob does the technical analysis bit so well, you do the texture and feel of waitresses uniforms......

Fantastic stuff Kev, when your in your rocking chair, money wont be able to buy memories like those

What's wrong with rocking chairs?

Absoulutely nothing, especially if you have good memories

when you speak to the waitresses give em my email address or the address of blondepoker and tell em to contact me

Good. Now where did I put mine?

Subtle. LMAO!  ;D  ;D  ;D

Hello all.
Ok todays poker tourist tips are on how to blag as many freebies as poss :)
at the area of the Rio where the wsop tourneys are held there are many side stalls selling everything from Cigars to solid gold chip markers, and they wont give anything away, but with a bit of searching and a bit of sheer bloody cheek you can get a few goodies.
Poker team "Full Tilt" have a private lounge which opens from 4.30 til 7.30 and is open to all, when you first go in you see 2 computer screens, simply enter your name and email address and go to the counter where they will present you with not 1 but 2 tshirts, a baseball cap, and a poster of their team which includes "Jesus" ferguson, Ivey,Lederer etc, and they all regularly mingle about in there, in fact i had a bit of a chat to "Jesus" Ferguson, and he was perfectly charming and I even wrote down the web address for the forum down for him and he promised to take a look. I have seen all the Full tilt team except phil Ivey, I asked "Jesus" why he wasnt playing and he said that he is saving himself for the big one as he fears he may burn out if he overplays, I replied that he was playing cash at the bellagio every day, he said "yeah but cash is easy compared to playing in a big arena with everyone watching every blink of your eye, it is enormous pressure" which is perfectly understandable when you see how much these guys are admired and respected here, people actually walk up to tables with all sorts of things for these guys to sign, and I must say i have never seen any of the top guys being anything other than obliging which is nice to see.
Back to the freebies.... also in the wsop lobby is a reward card desk which all the mugs who play the slots place in the machines before embarking on a 12 hour stint of button pushing, anyway act like a mug and sign up (you will need your passport) it costs nothing, and they give you a nice leather key/card wallet, a wsop official programme (which sells for $5) and a 12 pack of coke/diet coke... not bad for a freebie. I also blagged 2 extra tshirts the night John and simon chopped a small comp, all the players at the final table get a tshirt, and they only had XL left..Kerchinnnngggg another 2 tshirts in the bag :)
There is another stall where people are continually asking you to sign up for a wsop credit card and they will give you a free tshirt, well I thought i could sign up, get the free tshirt and then just not activate the card (thats if i ever passed any credit check :) ) but i was told that it was for american nationals only.....But every time i walked past I was asked again and kept telling them that i wanted to but as i was english i wasnt allowed, in the end the guy had asked me that many times, he said "look im really sorry, and if i ask you again i will give you a tshirt ...so i wait til its really busy and he is asking everyone and he makes the fatal mistake ...kerrrchhhinnng yet another tshirt :) I have also blagged 2 baseball caps and numerous magazines :)
2 Funniest moments from today ...... before every tournament the director says the same stuff..."there will be an Immediate penalty for any F. bombing" cue the loud obnoxious hoody wearing american to say "what the fk is an F.bomb" resulting in an immedate 10 minute break for the dork. the other being Phil "I revel in my reputation as the bad boy/obnoxious prick at a poker table in the world) Helmuth walking past me on the phone to someone saying " They mucked my hand for answering my phone so i told them it wasnt my fault, penalise the silly fk that phoned me"

Today i bumped into "I know it" and Jim the Bandit, nice to start meeting the blondites...I also saw the interview that Brian Wilson gave after winning a bracelet and he was wearing a "Blonde Poker" cap...excellent stuff. Had dinner with Paul Maxfield and his brother in law they were good fun and very good company. also seen doc and the lovely claire, I mentioned to doc that Tikay keeps trying to get claire to spend a little time with him, doc replied Tikay is a dirty old bugger (well i think thats what he said but it deffo started with B)
Steve vladar and "Bad girl" (shes lovely) arrived yesterday, but their suitcases didnt, apparantly they went to chicago, but saw them today and happily they have been reunited with their clothes.
Waitress search has been put on hold for a few days, all this bloody poker is getting in the way :)

I am having an absolute blast here, i have lost all concept of what day/time it is , and i really dont care :)

Safe travel to all that are on their way over, and to those that arent.........start planning for next year.... Its both unbelievable and unforgettable and I can promise you that you will never have experienced anything like it in your life !!

Take care all and i will post again soon.

sounds like you are having a wonderfull time Kev. just hope there are some freebies left by the time i get there - otherwise may have to resort to stealing!!!!!!!!

keep us up dated - the only thing keeping me half sane is the thought of getting out there.

Wonder how many towels Kev is gonna return with? Maybe we could get a market up AJack? Great report as usual kev but no naked or scantily clad women? dont tell me the dealer the other day has stopped the ogling. I suggest you immediately go to the nearest lapdancing club and remember one of the key reasons you went to vegas  :o

GREAT stuff Kev!

Loved the Hellmuth anecdote - almost believable!

Send Claire my love, I know she misses me rotten.

We are at Walsall this weekend - eat your heart out Kev - and we have Ironside wiith us, so Lap-Dancing seems to be on the Agenda - he's asked about 20 different folks to find a LD club for him. He travelled down from Scotland yesterday. 3 hour drive to the airport, flight from Aberdeen to Birmingham, (what an ordeal that must be for someone in a wheelchair, eh?) collected from Airport by Red-Dog, booked into local hotel for 2 nights. Busted out of the comp within 20 minutes!

Keep the reports coming Kev, I might do you one about Walsall......

Ariston, I cant go to the lap dancing club anymore :( while other people were putting $ bills down the girls thongs, i decided to get rid of a pocketfull of loose change, the look on that girls face when she felt that cold metal  :o . As for nicking the towels, how willi get them in my suitcase with all these bloody free tshirts in the way ;

Tikay, im sure claire is missing you, but give the girl credit she is disguising it very well.  and congrats on the draw in wallsall that will help with the dinner bill when you get here. Ruru is due here today with the betfair 6pack winners so the brit invasion is gathering pace..... cant wait til the 3rd when our numbers will be greatly increased, but for some strange reason i really wouldnt fancy being on that flight with all you lot, imagine latif giving it the large one, and Ariston trying to compete...you poor lot aint gonna get any sleep...my advice is take a few sleeping pills and slip them into aristons and latifs coffee.....simple :)

The Man is a legend ......nuff said.

If the girl was only worth loose change and none of the folding stuff you are in the wrong club mate. We will be there next week and we will take you where the girls aren't one eyed toothless moonlighting dinner ladies. The cavalry officially arrives in less than a week.

hi there russ  simon here there's a big problem getting hold of dollars here no ones selling even the big winners are not cashing up they going home with check's something about tax free earning's so get on the phone and secure dollars before you get here otherwise the exchange rate is going to rape you here c u in a bit big boy

Hey cuddles, do us a favour, can you let me know what the current exchange rate is at the cage.

See you Sunday and tell John to conserve his energy for some serious partying.

I hope I dont need any dollars as I have a friend who has 10large for me. Please tell me he has them for me chubbs as that is my entire Vegas roll there.
russ