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Basically, someone very close to me started Uni this year, and is having a hard time settling in. She, like me, isn't really into the whole LETSGOGETPISSED WOO DANCEDANCERAVELOUDBEATS thing, and unfortuntaley shes also doing one of those sciencey subjects that takes up a lot of time. She's also quite a long way from home and most of her family, which she's finding tough too. Speaking to her recently made me reflect a little on my first year, which I found initially pretty tough for many of the same reasons, but I very soon discovered a whole community of people with whom I get along with very well, and several of whom I now live with.

What I want to know is how the people of this community got on with their own time at uni? Are you the sort of people that enjoy the partying/clubbing aspect of things? How did you go about finding your own niche within the massive, scary and downright intimidating place that is university? Do you have any advice for my friend on this subject?

There are loads of different sorts of people at uni.  Just find people with similar interests. 

Oh, and don't be a chat box warrior.

I would bet a fairly large amount of money that you yourself can be a bit of a talksquare hero at times! ;)


Guess it just takes a while to find these people, if they aren't the sort to hang out in the clubs all the time. To be honest, even then I struggled a little, because I normally ended up being so drunk I had no idea where I was, or who I was talking to. I think it can be fairly easy to believe that everyone is like that, and if you aren't, then its equally as easy to end up cut off from the people around you.

There are loads of social clubs, sports clubs, societies (well there were at Sheffield) - so sign up to quite a few, and see which ones float your boat.

It's one of the benefits of being at uni - you don't have to hang around with people who happen to live near you, you get to meet up with people who have similar interests.

I remember a guy like that in my year. He was known as Naked James for reasons which needn't detain us.

If you want to meet people, go where the people are, drink soft drinks and be nice. Chat to the barman. They know everything there is to know about who is friendly, which societies are full of pompous oafs and who might be of further assistance.

I managed three years without an alcolohic beverage or a compromising photograph. I also still speak to people I was there with. It is possible.

Definitely the societies thing try something that possibly she has done already or something completely new that she fancies trying.

People on her course will always be a good bet as you would imagine they would be like minded. Can imagine living with people that want to go out all the time and you are not interested in that would be hard so you need to set yourself up for 2nd year where you get to live with who you want if you can find the right people

Unfortunately I probably cant offer too much advice on this topic.  I don't remember too much about my brief time at Uni but as someone who gets on with just about everyone and didn't mind the odd beverage here and there, needless to say that it suited me quite well.  Having said that, my stepsister got a duff draw in terms of housemates during her first year, and once she found a group of people she got on with I think they all moved in together the following year and she enjoyed it much more.

As suggested before, if she has any interests outside of her course it would certainly be worth persuing.  Just for lols, please see below for cliffs on my brief time at uni:

YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aYlsDxnmYOc

What's a university?

When people go for get educate

Liek a scool?

Science subject means there really should be a chunk of people on that course with no social skills or want to go out getting rat arsed, there prime enjoyment is gaming or talking geek stuff. We had a comp soc that we had which catered for all our needs @)

wow, such nonsense.

as others mentioned, get involved in groups and there always very different groups you wouldn't even imagine, to suit anyone

Acid has called it correctly, Aaron. Arts students are way better

So the comp society is not a group? Not sure what I said was nonsense? Pretty sure there is a fair percentage of science based students that prefer NOT to go out than other degree subjects. Thats a fact, due to the nature of the subject and the people it attracts. I know, I work at a Uni I have to interact with most ENG faculty students daily and ones from other faculties.

The point is University's are so big and have a diverse set of people attending them there is room for everyone to be happy, weather that be staying in your room gaming/studying or partying 24/7.

Easier for you to understand now?

I am just glad you changed your words.

I am used to it, having a four and two year olds means I have to simplify things often.

The three spheres of socialising I would think of are who you live with, who's on your course and what you're interested in  (ie the clubs and societies)

I tried to get something going with all three at university but it mainly ended up being who I lived with (as this involved the least amount of walking places)
There was still quite a lot of socialising with people on my course - that involved some walking, but in general we had to go to town for the maths department anyway so the choice was taken away
The clubs and societies part never really took off for me as that involved walking when I had the option of not doing so; but I think as long as at least one of the 3 takes off then there's no problem.

Jon, did you consider joining the walking society at uni? On second thoughts...  :)

Because he could?

Ironically now that would be fine - but there was a big hill involved, and nobody wants to be dealing with hills while at uni

Haha, that did cross my mind when I posted it. Very funny moment.

I'd definitely stress that she needs to get involved as much as possible in first year since its the people that you meet there that you're likely going to be living with in second year and for however long you're there. Getting a rough draw with you're living with in halls I would imagine is much less demoralising than having to look for single rooms left in houses with groups of 3 or 4 people that are already friends and you're just making up the numbers to get a house.

I can only speak for Sheffield but there really is a society for everything. Even if she's not massively into whatever the society is about, just showing interest enough to show up will get her talking to people. Uni societies by their nature are pretty welcoming and I've not heard any negative stories from people showing up to a society for the first time. I guess by mid-November is can be a bit more daunting since a lot of friendship groups have formed already but there is just so much diversity out there I'm certain theres a society for everyone.

I wasn't really big on the course I was doing so I only ever really knew 4 or 5 people from my lectures. Three years removed from uni I'm still in contact with pretty much everyone from my societies (poker and ice hockey) but nobody from my course.