blonde poker forum

I've carried a Swiss army knife for ~ 40 years. They are unconditionally guaranteed for life, so about 20 years ago when I damaged mine, I rang the importers, who happen to be in Leicester, to ask what I should do. They told me to send it in to them and they would repair it replace it free of charge. I told them I didn't live far away and asked of I could drop it off and they said I could.

When I arrived at their offices, I gave my knife and my name and address to a lady on the desk. She examined the knife and said it was so badly damaged that it would have to be returned to the factory in Switzerland if I wanted it repairing, or I could have a replacement from their stock. I opted for the replacement and she said they would send one out to me.

Before I left I asked if it would be possible for me to take the replacement with me, she said I couldn't because they only kept display models at the office and my new knife would have to come from stores, but eventually I managed to persuade her to let me have one from the display.

About a fortnight later, another new knife arrived by post. I suppose I should have returned it, but I didn't, I kept it as a spare.

Last week, I lost the original one, I have no idea how or where. Yesterday, I lost the spare.

So I carry the first one one with me 24-7 for >20 years, and then lose two in a week? How is that even possible?

Want this one was it?

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Wenger-Giant-Swiss-Army-Knife/dp/B000R0JDSI

No. I think I would be quite relieved to lose that.

How many times have you used one in 25 years Tom? I have had one for 25 years and only used it about 10 times and never take it anywhere, although i did keep it in my glove box for a while. Of the 10 uses, i would say 8 were the bottle opener.

I use mine so often I can't imagine how people manege without one. I'm guessing at least 5 times a day.

These are the things I use and how often. (approx)

Every day - Toothpick, tin opener, scissors.

Most days - Philips screwdriver, ordinary screwdriver, pliers, big blade.

Weekly - File. saw, awl, pen, magnifying glass, tweezers.

Occasionally - Bale hook, ruler, tiny screwdriver, pin, wire stripper, corkscrew.

Very very occasionally, I find that removing my sock, dropping the knife into the bottom of it, wrapping the other end around my hand and then putting my hand back into my pocket very comforting.

I'd been looking for a £600 lump of metal to weigh my jeans down for a while. This does the trick perfectly!

A few of the features let it down a little:

The motorbike function gets appalling miles to the gallon.
The quantum teleporter is decidedly inaccurate. I set it for Paris and ended up just south of Chorley.
The trombone needs tuning every time you get it out.
The tent is incomplete and collapsed twice on me last week.
The home brewery kit works, and the beer tastes fine. The wine making kit however, is a little too robust for a merlot.
The satellite dish attachment struggles to connect to the projector.
Changing the volume on the record player is awkward, and the DJ booth isn't nearly big enough to fit more than 3 people in.
The paper shredder can't manage a full book without breaking.
Siri is very unreliable.
The oil dispenser is jammed shut.
The sword is cursed.
And the 12,000 piece jigsaw is missing a piece.

It's also far too easy to get the tools confused. I was going for a small picnic spoon, and accidentally bazooka'd my fruit loops.

And to top it all off, since I updated it to iOS7, it's been running slowly and my cat won't go near it.

Otherwise great!


 :D

Almost time do dust off the motorbike thread again Boo.

Our John wants to go to Switzerland to visit the Army knife factory, the Nürburgring and have a play on the alps.

Did you really thing the Swiss Army Knife enforcement Ninjas would let you get away with it?

I know. Benefit from not returning spare knife = 0

As people get older they can become a bit forgetful?

variance?

Bought a new Swiss army knife online, found the old one within 10 minutes if it arriving.


(http://www.standardmotorclub.org.uk/wpimages/wp6bc9f2d9_05_06.jpg)

Have you been harassing poor Pam in west watford?