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It's been a busy few days in Westminster. After the announcement on speed cameras received such unprecedented critical acclaim from all parties, Mr Cameron summons you to Number 10 to give you an immediate promotion to the job of Health Secretary.

You are now in charge of the NHS: the fourth largest employer in the world. You are managing a £2,000,000,000 a week budget. 8,000 GP surgeries, Three quarters of staff are either clinical or clinical assistants. Here are the key stats to help you:

http://www.nhsconfed.org/resources/key-statistics-on-the-nhs

You are following in the footsteps of Aneurin Bevan, Ken Clarke, Neville Chamberlain, Frank Dobson, Andy Burnham and, of course, the current holder of the position, Jeremy Hunt:

(http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/01605/Hunt_1605312c.jpg)

Currently, your role is largely limited to England, post-devolution, but you can change that if you wish.

Same rules apply: suggest as many or as few changes as you wish, but you get one free pass. You've had years of being told "more doctors, more nurses, cut the red tape and put patients first", but what real changes do you believe will make a difference?

24 hour GP surgeries? No NHS treatment available for the rich? Tenders with the drug companies for better deals? More ambulances? Does it need more investment or is having the fourth largest employer in the world in a country of just 60m people too big? Should final salary pensions be revisited?

Ok, over to you.

Double the drug budget to make my job easier and make lumps more money  :D

Does food come into this? I don't know what I'd do, but I'd make my primary focus tackling obesity. It costs this country something like £47 billion a year, it's preventable and like I said in the education thread there would be profound benefits for future generations.

No idea how I would do it. Making healthy food cheaper should be part of it. I'm not sure making unhealthy food more expensive would work. I've read tons of studies that say educating people about healthy eating does nothing, so that wouldn't be the angle.

So I'd probably use my free pass to get a bunch of cognitive behavioural scientist types to run the NHS on my behalf.

If I had some money left over, I'd give more money to nurses.

Introduce a law making it impossible to sue the NHS. I think this would free up a lot of time in treating patients, thus ease spending etc and go a long way towards fixing the problem.

I'm not sure completely removing the ability to sue is ideal, but yes I get the sentiment and like it. My local radio regularly runs an advert encouraging people to think back to times they might have been mistreated by the NHS and might have a case to sue. Absolutely disgusting.

The yanks have this problem a lot and most of the time its the doctors bed side manner, not their ability to heal, that prompts lawsuits.

I was going to physio a couple weeks back, and noticed when getting into the elevator, that somebody had mopped the floor inside, badly. I don't need any help falling over, so was careful going in, and out, but some water had obviously gotten under my crutches, and both they, and I went flying upon exiting.

First thing the physios said when I told them about it was 'Are you injured? Do you want to make a claim?'

Are they required to offer you the opportunity to sue them, should you have any form of accident?

I told them that I had plenty of bruises from bouncing around the house, so I wasn't too worried about a couple more, although it might be best if they got someone to wipe the floor in the lift.

That said, I did need a new screen for my phone, as it had smashed, and I was meant to call her this week to find out how to claim the costs back.

But you couldn't because your phone was broken?

:)

Get rid of the ridiculous amount of upper management.

I've just finished a contract in the NHS. The structure there was chief exec --> clinical director --> general manager x2 --> clinical services manager x8 (2 for each sector) for physical health, then another 4 for mental health. 16 managers for crying out loud. They all had admin support as well.

It is ridiculous how bloated management is when you get above ward managers etc in all trusts. And they're all on decent money as well.

If you ever suffered medical negligence which changed your life dramatically you might feel differently. Stopping people suing might free up time etc but wouldn't change the way that poor doctors etc work in a positive manner?

I with Adam on this one, I would cut through the management etc and give power back to the frontline staff. 

I'd invest more in alternative medicine rather than people becoming dependent chemicals for illnesses that don't require it. 

The methodone programme would be scrapped, its just a moneymaker for Doctors and Chemists.   Alongside this I'd operate a 3 strike and your out rule against substance abusers. 

do you do it on purpose?

Of course he does. It's kind of lovable, though, in its own way.

YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DHVVKAKWXcg

That is fantastic. How I have not seen this before?

A little piece of early Minchin with a similar theme ..

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I'd never really watched his stuff before, that was the first thing I'd seen of his, and that one routine has made me a fan for life. I quote that herbal medicine line as if its my own without realising it all the time.

He's like a likable Russell Brand

Sorry to derail but I really think Camel will love this

YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c0Z7KeNCi7g