blonde poker forum

Today I stumbled upon a remakable creature. Yep, the muppet. You’ve all come across them, but how often do you find a muppet moaning at a muppet? Probably more frequently than you might think.

The following chat occurred in a ring game I played recently. It made me chuckle and I couldn’t help but comment. If you are adverse to a bit  ::) of swearing, please look away now. I've censored the profainity, but you still may be offended by the foul language. So, once again, look away if you don't want to read abusive dialogue.

koolmia420: seriously?
snoopy1239: what?
koolmia420: go f*** yourself you dumb ****
koolmia420: are you seriously that dumb?
koolmia420: marchare you idiot
koolmia420: you are the dumbest person ever
snoopy1239: why r u saying that?
koolmia420: you lack any semblace of a human brain
koolmia420: he called 30 with j 6
koolmia420: f***ing dope s***
snoopy1239: and u're telling him it was a bad move?
koolmia420: yes
snoopy1239: surely that makes u the dumb one
snoopy1239: would u rather he called u with good cards only?
marchare19: its called having balls , u d**kh**d
koolmia420: how raising with a good hand and getting called by a re**rd
snoopy1239: don't bite the hands that feeds u m8
marchare19: ive got u marked koolmia
koolmia420: ok f*g
koolmia420: mark this
snoopy1239: u're on his hitlist
snoopy1239: this guy DOES have balls
marchare19: have a go you weak dog koolmia
koolmia420: marchare sucks
marchare19: but u swallow
koolmia420: that was clever
koolmia420: moron m****rf***er
koolmia420: f*** you
koolmia420: bluffer
koolmia420: try me
koolmia420: hahahahaha
koolmia420: played you out
marchare19: lol
koolmia420: f***ing feel embarassed for the kid

Firstly, can you believe the language some people have to endure? It's shocking and I can't believe these online sites let it pass without putting their foot down. Every session I play sees a chatbox full of this sort of trash. Completely unacceptable if you ask me.

It’s true, marchare was the biggest fish I’d seen all week. He was playing all sorts of garbage and refusing to release any sniff of a hand. He’d just doubled through and I was waiting patiently to make some kind of solid holding so I could take him for all he had. I had dollar signs for eyes.

Then, all this chat appeared. What happened next? Marchare left. Great!

Bah, what a croc! What a waste my ‘You have big grapefruits sir’ line was. I was so hoping he’d stick around. I could just sense he was about to scarper.

This koolmia isn’t a bad player either, but what the hell is he doing driving away the fish? Complete madness.  I just can’t understand why people continue to do this, it drives me round the bend. What a burk.

Who’s more muppety? The muppet or the muppet muppetising the muppet for his muppetry? (Hmm – isn’t that a line from Star Wars?)

The funny thing is that when he left, someone said…

‘Thank God he’s gone. Complete muppet.’

Argh!!! Now’s there’s three of them. I’m surrounded! Get me out of here!!!

Sheesh, does that make me a muppet now?

It must be catching…

I agree, why do people get cross and try and scare people away?

It even happens live. A fortnight ago I travelled down to the Vic with Dingdell. When we busted out of the comp we went to play some cash in what was a vibrant cash room

We played awhile and were joined at a fullt table by Neil Channing. A little later we were joined at the game by a completely inebriated gentleman who sat down and his "minder" announces "he's never played before can you look after him dealer?"

I swear I saw Neil's back stiffen and his eyes begin to dart around the table

The guy gets out £1000 in cash, with more visible behind in his jacket pocket, and proceeds to call every raise, play every hand to the river and soon loses his first pull up

Neil is giving him all the talk.."having a nice evening? where are you from? how can I help you?" which was exactly the right approach to make him feel wanted

It was therefore rather irksome to see him suck out on one player who then criticises him for being in a hand! Huh? Shut up. Who's the muppet, the very rich tourist or the player criticising.

So the gentleman goes off to the roulette. Fortunately he came back (Dingdell even went to talk to him...heaven knows what she said!!) we all availed ourselves of his pecuniary hospitality.

There is a real art and skill in making the fish feel wanted. Channing is a master at it, and snoopy had exactly the right approach here IMO

I went through an hours worth of abuse today in a $2/$4 NL ring game.  The little boy who felt the need to make homophobic comments and the  classic "retard" comment after every other hand eventually busted out.  Of course he still "out played my ass"

You have to love internet poker and the complete donkeys it attracts.

Snoopy, Was you winding im up?   :D

i think he bit lol

Dingdell brought the fish back? Does this officially make her bait? :)

;chieften; would like to say something controversial on this issue.

Perhaps Marchare plays poker for the fun of it, and part of the fun for him is that he gets to rile people up by outdrawing them from time to time.
Comnments such as.....


...have every bit as much chance of driving a fish from the table than abuse from the outdrawn.

Muppets at the poker table are not necessarily muppets in real life. Marchare likely knew exactly what Snoopy was inferring and is more likely IMO to be genuinely insulted by this than 4 pages of personal abuse from koolmia.

Players do not wish to be reminded that they are donating money in the long term to other players. He expects it from someone who he's just outdrawn, but when someone else sticks their oar in, in a serious tone, it might hit home and chase him away.

I know Snoopy's intentions were good, but I think the whole idea of "don't tap the fish-tank lectures" are self-defeating.
By all means speak to koolmia about it after the fish has left the table, but not while they are still there.

Apart from everything else, it's rude to discuss someone in the 3rd person while they are still present. There's no denying that koolmia's behaviour is deplorable, but there's not much you can do to change him without defeating the very purpose for which drives you to do so in the first place.

No worries.  :) You make a good point, and one which I considered at the time.

Yep, my passing comment risks putting them off too, but this guy was relentless and I was desperate for him to stop the abuse.

However, I don't think it's fair to defend a guy who uses such coarse language.


Compare that to mine.


At least I didn't swear at anyone.

Hmmmm....

Obviously the way forward is to keep the fish at the table. Telling someone not to bite the hand that feeds could indeed drive someone someone away. Tank has made an excellent point.

However Tank, talking about someone in the third person is not something seriously comparable to calling someone some of the profanities mentioned in that chatbox. Who was really the rude one at the table?

Ok so Snoop may have pointed out who the fish was but it seems to me there was only one person at the table who wasn't rude. Our favourite Beagle. ;bigglesdog;

Just want to make it clear that I wasn't wanting to compare Snoopy to the guy who swore like a  bitter, poorly educated, man of the sea.
I regret the way I've phrased my previous post on this thread. The two are definately not on an even keel in so far as there is nothing "wrong" with what Snoopy was saying. I just wanted to disagree with the tactic.

The whole talking about people in the 3rd person thing was kinda pedantic and doesn't have much to do with anything.

If you feel you must say something to keep a fish on the table who is on the recieving end of such a barrage. Try to tilt the abuser instead of trying to help him.

Tell the guy who was outdrawn that the "best hand won" and that "it serves him right for playing so one-dimensionally"
Guys like that deserve everything they get, so you needn't feel guilty about needling him. This will make the fish feel like you are on his side and might help tilt koolmia. These two things helping bring about a better gambling enviroment and a better game.

Conversely, trying to "educate" koolmia, makes it look to Marchare that you are ganging up against him. This creates a negative gambling atmosphere.

how's the new monitor tank, any good?

No, I agree tank. Like I said,  I did wonder if my comment would have an adverse effect. But at the same time, I was having trouble just saying nothing. This guy was relentless and I just wanted him to stop.

I did change my tone slightly by saying that the fish WAS brave.

... but it didn't seem to work.

I love the abuse, the fish get so worked up about it they all go on tilt!

Totally Dewi. I can now have a life-sized picture of your head on my screen. The possibilities.....

I'm pisch with wires and stuff like that, but I've got it all sorted now and am lovin' it.

RF loves the abuse because most of its directed at him.

 :goodpost: :)up

'tis true!

I thought the whole point of being a f***ing fish is that you don't know you're a f***ing fish in the first place, the f***ing fish in question most f***ing likely thought you were talking to him and it was a whoosh moment :D

Very well said Sir   rotflmfao rotflmfao

Don't explain, Dont complain.

We were all fish once and depending on your skill base you will always be a fish to someone with a much higher set of skills than you.  Unless you are the best player in the world that means YOU !.  I can safely say that the lessons I have learnt the best, the ones that have had a real fundamental effect on my game are the ones where bettter players have slagged of my play.

On a number of occasions this has happened and the insult has hurt.  It has caused me to go away and deeply reflect on whether the insult was justified.  On the occasions where it was I have made changes to my game and become a better player becuase of it.  So I can safely say that when fish are slagged, off apart from the ones who are there just for fun, will be educated I know this from personal experience and dont mind admitting it. Those that dont want to be educated and are playing for fun do not deserve criticism anyway.

I am a consistent winner in small buy in no limit cash games.  I get drawn out on a lot as you would expect playing with fish.  It is hard not to tilt at times as the standard of play is not great and the level of beats quite high.  If you are a better player than your peers at the level you play something that will happen very regularly is that the money will all go in when you have the best of it.  Every time this happens I pat myself on the back.  Every time I get outdrawn during this process I pat myself on the back.  It IS tempting to slag the opposition off, when this temptation occurs I have a simple remedy........... I TURN THE CHATBOX OFF.

It was very simple, I took off my jumper to reveal a skimpy top, pushed the girls up to their full potential, shimmied over and told him i missed him at the table and back he came.........now that you dont get on the internet.....well not on poker sites anyway!

I also hate it when people start giving the incessant re buyer grief.

The table is awash with chips, half of you are in the top ten and a couple of people lose a pot against him and start with all the retard stuff and 'how many buy ins moron?'.

Shut up you idiots we want him here!!!

I agree - good posts!

say nothing, listen to everything and do not drive away bad players.  In fact one of my most recent blog posts was on this very subject.  There must be something in the air at the moment - evryone wants to give lessons!!!

 ;iagree;

This is way easier and a better solution. "Man, if I'd known you suck so much I'd have called with any 2"

plus it's vaguely entertaining. Also people may think you're a loon too - which is a good thing providing it's not true...