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Just after any objective opinions really.

I have 2 siblings. They are both older than me. They both own houses.

My sister got given £125k in 2005 to help her buy a flat.

My brother got given £150k in 2009 to help him buy a house.

I got given £300k in 2017 to help me buy a flat. 250k of this is owed to the bank (and will still be 250k unless I manage to pay a good chunk off)


My parents (well my dad really) has said they want to do their will and what do we think is fair.

Obviously it is a difficult situation to discuss but needs must.

They don't have a lot of cash but they do have a decently valuable house.

Let's say their estate is worth 900k after they both die (obviously in 50 years or so!)

What is fairer;

My siblings get rounded up to 300k total each (so 175k to my sister and 150k to my brother)

250k goes to the bank.

So total gone out at this point is 175+150+250 = £575

There is then £325k split evenly between us.

OR

We take inflation into account. So my sister getting 125k in 2005 would be like me being given approximately 175k today.

And my brothers £150k would be more like £185k

So should my sister get 125k, my brother 115k, the bank 250k for a total payout of £490k

Then the remaining £410k be split evenly.

I don't know what's fair or right. We aren't dictating their will, just giving our input (as a collective)

We are a close family and the last thing we would want to do would be to fall out over something like this but my sister wants inflation not counted, my brother isn't bothered and I want it considered...


Thanks for any advice!

Any equitable deal has to account for inflation surely? Would love to hear sis's reasoning for not including it other than it would mean she gets less.

Of course inflation should be factored into it. Your sister has probably benefitted the most from house price rises too, being the one who borrowed first.

It's not hard to work out how much their gifts equated to yours- there is a website you can stick their figures in and it will calculate what they would have been worth when you got your 300k.

It's not a nice subject to have to thrash out, but get your parents to decide on everything they want for their funerals while they're at it.

Inflation should be taken into consideration to be fair.

I’m one of 6 and 2 of those will get a bit extra come the final say so when the worst happens as the other 4 got given fairly lumpy houses/businesses a long time ago. It won’t match what was given to those who got some before but at least it’s a nod in the right direction of fairness.

Basically what’s been agreed is the 2 that didn’t get much/anything before will get a flat sum of £xxx each first, the remaining will be split equally amongst all 6.

Think you should all count your lucky stars that support has been offered at all. I would tell mum & dad they are going to live forever and set about making my own dollar. If they did press for an answer I'd say an equal split is cool because popping out a calculator to work out the facts and figures seems dark.

Goes without saying and a given, also enjoy your life and don’t sweat about leaving anything....

I think if you checked house prices you'd probably find that the brother has made most by borrowing after the huge crash of 2006. The sister buying in 2005 bought at close to peak and they only got back to that same level around 2013 or so after falling off a cliff.

Fairest way would be to base it on house value increase rather than inflation in my opinion but yes it has to be taken in to account. Then again you could argue that what the other siblings missed out on was the opportunity cost of the parents giving away however much it was in which case inflation should be the figure.

Whatever you do just talk about it openly and don't f**king fall out.

You and your siblings got any children?

Might be better passing wealth in x years (long way in future, hopefully) to Grandchildren they might need it more?

Option 1 for me. It’s not worth the potential fallout.

What about interest on the loan? Are you paying that or your parents? If it's them, it'll add up to quite a bit over the years. Of course, they wouldn't have had to get it if they hadn't given some to the others, so the cause is shared, but it's mainly incurred by you, if we're getting down to the nitty-gritty.

Adding inflation is fair.  Don't get your sister's issue or why your brother is fence sitting. 

They don't seem to have given you 300k, if you are paying interest on a 250k loan?  Haven't they given you 50k and lent you 250k?

Really need the loans and cash split to the others, to make a judgement.

I wouldn't do house prices.  It would probably be fairer still, but it just gets reallly messy.  House in London increase>>>>>house in Bradford increase, so National figures can be meaningless anyway. 

Get it completely ironed out before speaking to your parents.  They have given you a lot already, it is hard to not sound ungrateful if you are arguing about who gets what in front of them.

If they live into there eighties and then need care - lets hope they dont - but if they do the money will soon be eaten up by care fees.

Plus they might change their mind and leave it all to the Donkey Sanctuary - which has actually happened on more occasions than you think or they might cut you out of the will for some minor discretion.

Just reread this and am confused on why you say your parents have no money but the house - why have they given away so much cash which will if they passed away tomorrow be liable for tax from you and your siblings.

Also giving away all your cash and just leaving yourself with a house can have serious ramifications to your potential care in the future'

Trouble is you dont say how old your parents are,

Everything the siblings have had is now free from IHT as it's past 7 years. They also can't be made to sell the house to pay for care so it all sounds very sensible.

Giving away your house and then staying in it can definitely have huge ramifications but what they've done here all appears fine.

This depends on the relationship between them all.

My sister and I have both had lots of financial help from our parents and we all openly discuss inheritance and who gets what. Fortunately for us everything was discussed before it happened so we haven't got the Dakky dilemma but I still think it's best discussed openly.

If they have the right relationship then it's really healthy to be able to discuss it between them all rather than just the kids discuss what they want and then let the parents know.

This is never ever an easy subject.

However, it seems that, barring a terrible accident, your parents will be around for at least another 30 years. You mentioned 50 years, but we're assuming this may be a little exaggeration?

In essence, they have a long time to consider the options. In the interim, they should write mirror wills that leave everything to each other with the exception of certain personal items (e.g. mother's jewellery usually gets left to the daughter; dad's watches (or whatever) go to the sons). In an ideal world, the aim should eventually be to have an estate within the limits of Inheritance Tax allowance after the second of your parents pass. Equalisation of the cash gifts can be sorted during the years following the draft of the mirrot wills, at the discretion of your parents, so it does not need to be dealt with in a will if they don't want it to be and if they have the available capital to do it.

If they want it to be done in the will, then you all have the opportunity to discuss the issue individually with your parents. This is probably the fairest way to proceed. He/they can hear what each of you have to say and then reach their own decisions. He doesn't have to tell any of you what's in the will/s but he can tell you all that he and your mother have made what they feel is the fairest distribution of their estate when the time comes.

It's a little late, and perhaps I'm not articulating very well, but the key point is that they have PLENTY OF TIME to work out how to deal with the children. First, just do the mirror wills, so in that way he will feel like progress is being made. In addition, the solicitor who drafts the wills can give him completely independent advice too.

Its a bit morbid but nursing homes/best health care in these times will chew up 900 bags pretty quick, if they splash around on retirement a bit first might not be much left to discuss in 30 years.

I'm paying the interest on the loan. Ie. I'm paying the interest instead of paying rent to a private landlord

I mean I should point out that I was exaggerating of course. I CANNOT BEAR THE THOUGHT OF them dying. It is my only fear in life. They are 70 and 76.

76 and 70. They do have money maybe a couple hundred K and my mum still works. I was just trying to make the ex pls making simple.

My dad has a MUCH smaller pension than  he should  do. He got screwed by th e equitable life collapse/scandal